Mates, Dates and Chocolate Cheats

by Cathy Hopkins

  ‘No, Miss,’ I said as the whole class stared at me. ‘Must have a bug.’ A whole family of them in fact, I thought as my tummy gurgle-wurgled again.

  Later, when we were changing for gym, I felt even worse. All around me, my classmates were gaily stripping off without a care in the world while I tried to change with my back turned to them all so that no one would notice that I had turned into Mrs Blobby. They were all so skinny. At five foot eight, I must be the tallest in our class now plus my boobs have taken on a life of their own and are expanding at twice the rate of the universe. Soon I won’t be able to see my feet! And my bum. Oh, it’s too sad. I couldn’t believe it, even Candice Carter’s tummy was as flat as a pancake and she’s pregnant. It was the big scandal just before we left for Italy and I did feel sorry for her. She was out of her mind with worry about what her parents were going to say and what she was going to do. She’d been sleeping with her steady boyfriend for a while and she told us that they’d always used condoms but one time, the condom must have burst or leaked or whatever they do when it all goes wrong.

  When she’d gone into the showers, I nudged Lucy.

  ‘Amazing, isn’t it, I look three months pregnant and Candice doesn’t look as if she’s having a baby at all.’

  ‘She’s not any more,’ whispered Lucy. ‘Apparently she lost it. Miscarriage.’

  ‘God. How awful. Or is it?’

  Lucy did a quick check to see that she wasn’t coming back in. ‘I think it’s a relief actually. You know she wasn’t ready to be a single mum. And she wants to go to college, remember?’

  I did remember. We’d found her in the cloakrooms one day sobbing her heart out as she considered her options. It was a real wake-up call for everyone as although most of our year haven’t slept with boys yet, we’ve all certainly been thinking about it. Lucy told me in Italy that seeing Candice so distraught was what made her sure that she wasn’t ready to sleep with Tony. She didn’t want to risk it and maybe end up going through what had happened to Candice.

  At lunch, while I had my grapefruit (hmm, yummy, not), the others had sandwiches, crisps and chocolate. Soooo unfair. My mouth was watering, but I stuck to my resolve and didn’t have any, even though they all told me I was mad to be on a diet and kept waving bits of chocolate in front of my nose. It’s all right for them. All of them are thin with no wobbly bits at all. To distract myself from watching them wolf down their food, I pulled out my photos from the Italian trip which I’d picked up on the way to school.

  We’d already looked at them first thing, then again at break but another look wouldn’t hurt as the pics brought Italy (and Jay) back into sharp focus. Although the trip was over, I couldn’t help but think that one part of it had come back on the plane with me. And I don’t mean my memories (cue romantic violins), no, I mean the five foot ten gorgeous Indian boy by the name of Jay. He looked so good in the photos and seeing them made me want to meet up with him again as soon as possible. Unlike Florence, he wasn’t far away, probably at his school in North London, maybe looking at his own photos at the same time as TJ, Nesta, Lucy and I looked at mine. Probably thinking, who’s that great fairy elephant standing next to me in my pictures? I hoped not, as I think he did like me.

  ‘They say that the camera doesn’t lie but I wish sometimes it would fib a little,’ I said as I looked at one particularly unflattering shot of me bending over to tie my trainers outside the Duomo. I made a mental note to rip it up or put it on the fridge as a reminder of why I had to keep to my diet.

  ‘What do you mean?’ asked Lucy.

  ‘Duh. I look enormous.’

  ‘No you don’t,’ said TJ. ‘The camera just got you at a bad angle, that’s all. You looked great in Italy and the boys there really liked your green eyes. Remember in the Piazza della Signoria where they kept saying bella ochi, beautiful eyes.’

  ‘Yeah, because that’s the only part of me that’s OK at the moment. My eyes, my ear lobes and maybe my little toes. The rest of me is . . .’

  ‘Oh for God’s sake, Izzie,’ Lucy interrupted. ‘For the last time, you are not fat.’

  I noticed Nesta wasn’t making any comment as she flipped through the photos. Probably couldn’t trust herself not to say something insulting.

  ‘Have you heard from Jay?’ she asked finally as she got to the end of the pile.

  I shook my head. It would be so cool to see him again and pick up where we left off. The end of the holiday had come round so fast and then there was the flight home and being met at the airport. I hadn’t thought about swapping numbers or arranging to see him again over here until it was too late. And now I wished that I had. Being with him had made the Italian trip extra special and we had got on really well. We’d talked about everything: our families, past relationships, what music we liked, fave foods, TV programmes, what we wanted to do after we’d left school, why God didn’t sort out some of the mess us humans have made down here. We’d got really close.

  ‘Well, it’s only Wednesday,’ said Lucy. ‘Give the boy a break. You know what they’re like. When a mate says she’ll phone, she means probably in an hour. When a boy says he’ll phone, he means sometime, maybe in a week and that’s if I remember.’

  ‘Have you heard from Teddy?’ I asked.

  She nodded. ‘Yeah, he’s e-mailed a couple of times.’

  ‘See,’ said Nesta. ‘If a boy says he’ll phone, if he likes you, you don’t have to wait too long. I’ve already heard from a few boys from the trip.’

  My heart sank. I knew she was right. If a boy likes you, he phones. OK, maybe not as fast as a girl would phone, but he phones.

  ‘Actually . . . Jay didn’t take my number,’ I said. ‘We both forgot.’

  ‘I could get it for you,’ said Nesta. ‘Eddie phoned. Remember him? The one with red hair and the high forehead? He was a mate of Jay’s.’

  ‘And Liam called me,’ said TJ. ‘I could get it from him as well.’

  ‘Noooo. Don’t,’ I said. If I could get Jay’s number this easily, I thought, he could have got mine. So why hadn’t he? I cast my mind back to the last time I’d seen him. It was at the airport and we were waiting for our luggage. It had all been such a rush with trolleys and people bashing into one another as they hauled their cases about. I remember he thanked me for a fab time in Florence and said I’d made the trip really special for him. And then Liam thought it would be funny to ride round on the carousel along with the cases and everyone started laughing when one of the security men dived on after him. Jay and Eddie darted forward to try and pull Liam off so that he didn’t get into trouble and after that, everything went into a blur, like a DVD on fast forward. I spotted my case and moved in to collect it, there was a big commotion with the security guard, the boys and one of their teachers and when I looked for Jay again, he and his mates were being escorted by their angry looking teacher towards the arrival gate. Not exactly the best time to get someone’s number.

  ‘Why not let Nesta get it for you?’ asked Lucy. ‘You clearly both liked each other a lot and he might be waiting to hear from you.’

  I shook my head. ‘I don’t want to seem too keen. He could get my number if he wanted.’

  ‘Quite right,’ said Nesta. ‘Treat ’em mean to keep ’em keen. That’s my motto.’

  Lucy laughed. ‘Yeah right, it’s your motto until you’re keen and then you’re as bad as the rest of us.’

  Nesta chose to ignore her comment. ‘But listen, Izzie,’ she said, ‘a bunch of the boys from the trip are meeting up in Crouch End after school. Eddie asked if I wanted to go along. Let’s all go for half an hour or so. And Chris and Liam will be there . . .’

  Lucy grimaced. ‘No thanks. You can count me out of this one,’ she said when Nesta mentioned Chris’s name. He’d tried to pull her on the trip and she didn’t fancy him. It all culminated in him pushing an envelope with a condom in it with a note saying, Tonight’s your lucky night under the door for her one night. She’d filled the condom with water to make a w
ater bomb and smashed it over his head in reply. I could understand her reluctance to meet up with him again.

  ‘And anyway,’ she continued, ‘I said I’d meet Tony.’

  ‘I thought that it was over between you,’ I said. ‘Remember? You’re moving on?’

  ‘We can still be friends,’ said Lucy sheepishly.

  Nesta rolled her eyes. ‘Yeah, right,’ she said.

  ‘I know you don’t believe me but it is just friends. Like – he wanted to come to the Teen Talk thing with us tomorrow and I told him no, I want to do some things on my own. So see, I am being independent.’

  ‘So why are you seeing him tonight?’ I asked.

  ‘He wants to talk over his university options with me,’ said Lucy. ‘He’s had a couple of offers but isn’t sure where he wants to go. He was talking about staying here and going to one in London so that we could still be together.’

  ‘See,’ said Nesta. ‘I knew it. He’s wheedling his way back in.’

  ‘He might have had offers,’ I said. ‘But he still has to get the results they ask for.’

  ‘He’ll get his results,’ said Lucy. ‘He’s really clever.’

  ‘Yeah, he is,’ said Nesta. ‘Just look how clever he is at getting you back. Oh Lucy, please come and help me decide which university I should go to. I think I ought to go to one near you. It’s just an excuse to get you over to our flat and into his bedroom.’

  ‘I can look after myself,’ said Lucy. ‘And I’m not going to let what’s happening with us or not happening with us determine which university he goes to. He must go to the one that’s best for him and I’m going to tell him that.’

  ‘Huh. So you say, but don’t blame me if it ends in tears,’ said Nesta, and then she turned to me. ‘But you should come out with TJ and me, Iz. Jay hangs out with those boys so he might be there as well. You can check out the situation without him feeling like you’re closing in on him.’

  ‘Good plan, Batgirl,’ I said. If there were a bunch of us and a crowd of them, it would seem natural that I was there.

  I spent the rest of the afternoon in school lost in my memories of Italy. Snogging on the Ponte Vecchio. Snogging in the courtyard at the hotel. Snogging at the back of the car park. Oh . . . and yes, all the churches and art and culture as well.

  I couldn’t wait for school to finish so I could see Jay. I just hoped that my stomach would have stopped gurgling by then.

  The Gurgle Wurgle Song by Izzie

  OK tummy, let’s get this straight

  We’re gonna have a talk about something you’ll hate

  I’m cutting down the calories, gotta lose me some weight

  Gonna take me some action before it’s too late.

  I’m going on a diet and this time it’s for real

  And I don’t give a toss about the way you feel

  You can rumble, you can grumble, you can growl,

  you can gripe

  You can beat out jungle rhythms all through the night

  You can gurgle, you can sclurch, you can groan,

  you can moan

  You can mumble, you can murmur when I’m walking

  my way home

  You can schurgle your displeasure when I’m out with

  my friends

  But there’s only gonna be one way that this story ends

  I’m in this to win. I’m gonna be slim

  I’m in this to win. I’m gonna be slim

  I’m in this to win. I’m gonna be slim.

  My mind’s made up and my lips sealed tight

  So please shut up now and give up the fight

  I’m cutting down the calories, gotta lose me some weight

  Gonna take me some action before it’s too late.

  Chapter 4

  Nightmare

  The evening had started out brilliantly. Nesta, TJ and I had arrived early so we’d quickly taken over the Ladies cloakroom in a café on Park Road for the necessary preparations: lip-gloss, hair brushing and a squirt of perfume. I put on a double squirt to distract myself from the gorgeous smell of baking that was permeating the café. It was making me feel ravenous.

  Chris, Liam and Eddie had arrived soon after and it was a great reunion as Liam had his photos of the Italian trip as well. Mainly pictures of the boys, larking about. The ones showing Liam were particularly unflattering because someone (Chris, but Liam doesn’t know that) had shaved off one of Liam’s eyebrows when he was asleep one night.

  After about ten minutes, the café door opened and Jay walked in. I felt my stomach do a back flip. He looked even better than I remembered. In Italy, everything had seemed unreal and there was so much to take in – but seeing him back on our own turf, with his silky black hair and deep brown eyes, I realised he really did stand out in a crowd. He looked taken aback to see me but soon recovered and came over and gave me a big hug like he was pleased to see me. We looked at my pics (I’d taken out any offending ones) and had a laugh as we relived some of the great things we’d all got up to. After about twenty minutes, he started checking his watch and looking awkward. He suddenly stood up and said he had to go. I wondered if I’d said something to offend him. He gave no explanation as to where he was going. And he didn’t ask for my number. Or give me his. I felt confused because the chemistry was definitely still there, no doubt about that.

  Nesta had been in the Ladies (reapplying her lip-gloss, no doubt) when Jay left so when she came back, she looked round for him.

  ‘Where’s the Bollywood sex god?’ she asked.

  I shrugged and tried to look cool as I took a sip of my hot water and lemon but I noticed that Liam, Chris and Eddie exchanged uncomfortable glances. Nesta noticed it too and in her usual subtle way, plunged straight in.

  ‘OK. What’s the story?’ she asked.

  The boys looked at each other sheepishly and said nothing but Nesta wasn’t about to give up.

  ‘Something’s going on,’ she said as she grabbed Eddie’s wrist and began to give him a Chinese burn. ‘Spill or I kill.’

  ‘Oww,’ said Eddie. ‘Get off! You’re hurting me.’

  ‘You might as well tell them,’ said Liam. ‘They’ll find out soon enough . . .’

  Nesta let go of Eddie’s wrist and he gasped with relief.

  ‘What?’ she asked. ‘What’s the mystery?’

  Eddie looked at the floor. ‘Jay has a girlfriend.’

  ‘I know,’ said Nesta. ‘Izzie.’

  ‘No, another girlfriend,’ said Chris. ‘Tawny. He’s been going out with her for almost a year now.’

  TJ gasped and glanced over at me anxiously. I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. A girlfriend? It couldn’t be true.

  Nesta looked angry. ‘Where’s he gone?’ she asked as she stood up, rooted out a few pound coins from her pocket and tossed them on the table. ‘Here. This should cover our share. Two hot chocolates and one lemon water.’

  TJ and I got up to follow her out. I felt like I was in a trance. This couldn’t be happening. As we got outside the café, I ran over the road to the Clocktower as I needed some time on my own.

  Nesta and TJ ran after me and Nesta put her arm round me.

  I felt like I’d been winded. ‘Girlfriend?’ I gasped as I tried to catch my breath. ‘I can’t believe it. He would have told me. Are you sure they meant Jay?’

  ‘Stay cool,’ whispered Nesta as we saw the boys come out of the café and look for us. ‘Don’t let them see that you’re upset.’

  My heart was sinking as I realised the implications. ‘They must have all known,’ I groaned. ‘This is a total nightmare. What a creep. All that time Jay and I were gazing into each other’s eyes and snogging our faces off and he had a girlfriend back here. Chris, Liam and Eddie must have been having a right laugh. They all knew Jay had someone back here. And she has such a cool name. She’s probably gorgeous. Oh God. I hate him. How could he have not told me? It’s too awful. I feel such an idiot.’

  I wanted to go home, curl up under my duve
t and die.

  TJ put her arm round me as well. ‘I’m sure there’s some explanation.’

  ‘Like what?’ I groaned. ‘Like I was nothing more than a holiday fling?’

  ‘Who knows,’ said Nesta. ‘But I’ll find out.’

  ‘No, please Nesta, leave it,’ I said as I pulled her back. ‘I just want to go home.’

  The girls did their best to persuade me to let them accompany me home but I wanted to be on my own to lick my wounds in private. On the bus home, I gazed out of the window into the gloom. A cold, dark night in February. That was how I felt, cold and dark, like all the colour and sunshine had gone out of my world. I wished I hadn’t been to Italy. Suddenly all the good memories of my time there seemed like a sham and I felt like binning the photos. Or burning them.

  Why hadn’t he told me? I kept asking myself. We’d talked so much about our previous relationships and what we wanted. I’d told him all about my exes, not that there were many that counted. Mark, who never called when he said he would, Ben (from the band I sing with who’s still a mate) and bad boy Josh who turned out to be a liar. Jay had told me about a girl called Sushila and another called Megan. Nothing about anyone called Tawny though. Nothing about a steady girlfriend in his life.

  I’d thought I could trust him. You gullible fool, Izzie, I said to myself as I got home, let myself in and raced up the stairs. I threw myself on my bed and waited for the tears to come. But they didn’t. I felt numb. And . . . hungry.

  I went to the bathroom for a quick weigh in. I must surely have lost a few pounds after today, but no, my weight was the same as in the morning.

  Now what? I thought as I went back to my room. What have I got to look forward to? Another freaking grapefruit and if I push the boat out, a piece of soggy lettuce. Maybe that’s why he messed me around. I was just some fat bird he met on holiday. OK for a week but not for a steady relationship. I felt so depressed. I don’t care any more, I thought as I headed for the kitchen. Need chocolate. And need it now.

  Ten minutes later, Mum caught me with my hand in the cookie jar.