Memphis Black

by Mj Fields

  She shakes her head. “Go on in.”

  When we walk in, I can immediately tell Memphis has been given something for the pain. His eyes are not vibrant and showy like they always are. His arm is bandaged from the fingertips to all the way up past his elbow.

  “You okay?” Madison asks quietly.

  “No, I’m not fucking okay, Mads,” he slurs. “They think I have nerve damage. I have to have surg—”

  “Ery,” River finishes for him.

  Memphis covers his face, saying nothing.

  “He is worried about the tour,” River whispers, none too quietly.

  “I’m a fucking guitarist,” he mumbles. “I play fucking guitar.”

  The room falls quiet.

  “And you sing, Memphis,” I say, trying to give him some hope.

  “Yeah, now we have to find another guitarist. Fucking bullshit.”

  “You’ll be okay, Memphis. You’ll see.” Madison’s voice cracks.

  “And how the hell do you know that? You a doctor, Mads? Or you just going to college to do him or him?”

  “Memphis,” I gasp.

  “It’s my best diddling hand, Tales, so you may want to rethink the groupie thing, sweet cheeks.”

  I feel my face burst into flames as he looks out from under his arm.

  “Still got my lap, though. You can still get yourself—”

  I turn and walk out. I walk out of the room, out of the ER, and outside.

  “Wait up.” I turn back to see River running behind me. “Tally, he’s all fucked up on morphine. He is a mess. He’s going on tour in just a couple months, and there is no way in hell he’s gonna recover that quickly.”

  “He could,” I say, rather forcefully for me.

  “No.” He runs his hands through his hair. “Pretty sure the doctor said, ‘There is no fucking way, young man’.” He smiles sadly and looks down. “He is going into surgery in about fifteen minutes. He has you and Madison, who by the way, is a train wreck of epic proportions, and that’s coming from me, the cause of most train wrecks of epic proportions. Fuck!” he roars suddenly. “Look, you are, like, the most normal person in his life who’s here; go tell him the bullshit about him being okay.”

  “He won’t believe me,” I argue.

  “He’ll want to. Fuck, tell him, if he pulls through, you’ll give him dome or some shit.”

  “What?” I honestly have no clue what dome is.

  “You have two point two seconds before I claim fucked up on drugs when I get arrested for throwing you over my shoulder and marching POW! back in that hospital.”

  “What?” The word doesn’t even leave my mouth before he has me up and over his shoulder, walking toward the ER entrance. “I’ll scream,” I threaten.

  “Like I said, I’m fucked up and will get off; trust me, Tales. I’ve been there, done that, gotten the T-shirt.”

  “River, put her down, for fuck’s sake,” I hear Finn’s voice before I get dropped on my feet.

  “He needs you. Pull your shit together, stop acting holier-than-thou, and man the fuck up,” River says as Finn takes my hand and leads me back in. No sense in fighting; he’s a damn house.

  He stops in front of his room and releases my hand. “Madison is making a phone call. You do whatever you gotta do in there, understand?”

  “I don’t like you very much right now; do you understand me?” I ask, straightening my skirt and trying to push my mess of a hair-do back in place.

  “Don’t give one fuck, let alone two. Now go,” he says in a harsh whisper as he opens the door.

  I turn to walk in and feel a sharp smack to my backside, and I turn around to see River.

  “POW!” he whispers.

  I would rather take my chances with the crude and rude Memphis than that motley crew.

  Memphis gives a slight huff. “You came back.”

  “Yeah, well,” I say as I walk toward him, “I just needed a break from tonight, you know? And, well, your band mates don’t seem to get that.”

  “You left because I was a dick. That’s what Madison told me, anyway. But I need you to do me a favor.”

  I sit down next to him and look into his drugged and hopeless eyes.

  “Your dream of being with a rock star, that shit’s not gonna happen here, girl, so you’re off the hook.”

  “Off the hook for …?”

  “Me banging you into oblivion.”

  “Memphis?”

  “Seriously, you can walk. You deserve something better than a twenty-three-year-old coffee jockey.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “I’ll be serving coffee again soon.”

  “You’ll be singing onstage while you heal and melting panties in the process.”

  “I’m all fucked up on pain meds, and I’m chubbing up, Tales. They should bottle you up and sell you to those poor fucks who can’t get it up.”

  “They could replace that pink pill with your voice, Memphis.”

  “Ooo, she’s good,” he says, looking up.

  “He’s amazing,” I say, looking at him.

  “If I ever hurt you, cut my dick off.”

  I laugh. “What?”

  “Hmm.” He smirks. “I don’t deserve a good girl like you.”

  “Well, I am a hundred percent sure the girls who have had you would disagree.”

  He is dozing off, so I take his hand.

  “Tales?”

  “Yes.”

  “I don’t deserve you, but everything inside and outside of me wants to take you and keep you.”

  “You should rest; you’re talking—”

  “Truth. I’m talking truth.”

  “Under the influence, so I won’t hold you to it, Memphis.”

  He slowly drags my hand to his stomach and then down … there. “Take them with you.” He uses my hand to grab his … balls. “You should have them.”

  Wow, just, wow. I am blushing from head to toe and slightly turned on, while he’s a mess. What the hell is wrong with me?

  “Sweet cheeks?”

  “Yeah, Memphis?”

  “The least you could do is give them a tug.”

  “A what?” I laugh.

  “Hmm,” he sighs.

  “You really want me to …”

  “Fuck, yeah,” he says in a medicated, slow drawl. “When I wake up, I want them slapping POW!”

  I’m totally confused, so I stand, hands still under his … on his … balls. I lean over him and kiss him.

  “I fucking love your mouth. I can’t wait to taste your—”

  I kiss him again, then tug.

  He groans in my mouth, and … I do it again.

  ***

  Four hours. That’s how long it has been since we arrived here at this godforsaken hospital. Between the band, Madison, and me, I think the nurses are growing tired of us.

  I look up when I hear Finn say, “X-Man, what the fuck are you doing here?”

  This guy… X-man is in jeans and a T-shirt. His arms are covered in tattoos and he’s bulky, like he works out. He’s very, very good-looking, just like everyone Memphis hangs out with, but none of them are as handsome as Memphis.

  “Forever Steel, man. How is he?”

  “Still in surgery. He’s a fucking mess.”

  “How’s your head, man?” Xavier asks, walking around him.

  “Twelve stitches. I’ll be fine,” Billy answers. “This shit’s my fault. If he can’t play, it’s—”

  “Then you’ll play,” the man covered in tattoos that looks very intimidating walks over to me. “Rough night?”

  I nod.

  Finn introduces me and Madison, who is asleep on my lap, in his own way. “That’s his sister and the girl he wants to—”

  “His sister’s best friend,” Billy interrupts.

  “I’m Xavier Steel.” He reaches his hand out. “Someone call his parents?”

  “I’m Tallia, and yes, Madison called them.”

  “He has a great team of doc
tors; he’ll be fine.” Xavier sits down. When he’s not hovering, he looks far less intimidating. “Billy here is gonna learn acoustic—”

  “I can’t.”

  “The fuck you can’t; you will.” Xavier laughs, but I really don’t think he’s joking.

  “Xavier …” Billy begins.

  “Forever Steel, Billy,” is all he says before he turns back to me and shakes his head. “Where’s his head at?”

  I look up at Finn and then River who is sleeping on the hard plastic waiting room couch.

  Xavier clears his throat. “I saw you in the video monitor during our call the other day, saw him looking at you. So, I’m not asking them, I am asking”—he points at me—“you. Where’s his head at?”

  I swallow back tears. “Scared, doesn’t think he’s going to be all right, but he will. I know he will. He has an amazing voice, and his talent is God given and—”

  “Where’s your head at?” he interrupts.

  “I don’t understand.”

  “You gonna keep his head straight and mind focused?”

  How? I scream in my head. How am I supposed to do that and what the hell is he talking about?

  “I don’t understand,” I repeat.

  He nods. “I see.”

  I can’t find her. Fuck, I don’t even know who it is I’m looking for. I just know I need her, like now. Someone has me. Someone is keeping me away from her, and I don’t know who they are, either.

  I look around. Darkness is everywhere. I see shadows, but nothing recognizable. They still have me, and I fight with all I am, all I have.

  “Please, stop. Just leave him alone. God!”

  I hear a cry, and then I see a light. And nothing good comes when you see a light. Fuck, what happened? Where am I? Why is she crying?

  “Memphis, just open your eyes. Please just open your eyes.”

  I force myself to do just that. I blink at the brightness a few times then finally …

  “Fuck,” I groan.

  “He’s awake,” I hear Mads. “He’s awake.”

  “Shit, Mads, did you think I wouldn’t wake up?” I growl at her. “Fucking throat hurts.”

  “You had a tube down your throat. That’s normal after surgery,” the nurse says.

  “You shoved a fucking tube down my throat? You never said you were shoving shit down my throat. So help me God, you better not have fucked that up.” I try to sit up, but I can’t. “Am I tied the fuck down?”

  “You were fighting. We had no choice but to restrain you for your own—”

  “Un-fucking-believable,” I groan. It hurts. It hurts really fucking badly. “How long am I gonna feel like shit?”

  “A few days. And you’ll—”

  “Then knock me the fuck out. Fuck, I have to piss.”

  “You have a catheter in—”

  “Fucking masochists. I will end your lives if that shit doesn’t work again.”

  “Memphis, shut it down, man. You’ll be fine.”

  I look left. “X-man, if they fuck everything up for me, and I’m back to serving coffee—”

  “I’ll hire you on to wipe River’s ass.” He smirks at me.

  “Fuck you.”

  “If it still works, I’ll get you a hooker, but you aren’t fucking me,” he jokes.

  “Man, what a fucking mess.” I look toward Madison, who starts sobbing.

  “I’m sorry. This is all my fault. If I—”

  “Mads, you’re fine. Just muffle that cry; my fucking head hurts, okay?”

  “I have to tell you something,” she says, standing beside me.

  “Mom and Dad here?”

  “No, I didn’t call them,” she says and that lip pokes out.

  I laugh. “You didn’t what?”

  “They don’t deserve to be here. They’ve only come to two of your shows and—”

  “They’re busy, Mads. Shit, Dad busts his ass making bank, and Mom busts hers making everything perfect for all of us.”

  “Dad’s been cheating on her. I caught him, and I don’t know how to tell—”

  I gasp. “What the fuck did you just say?”

  “Madison,” I hear X as the room spins. “Not a good time for this conversation.”

  “Someone knock me the fuck out,” I beg.

  ***

  I wake up in the dark. I swallow, finding my throat is still sore. I try to move my hand, but it hurts like a bitch, and my head is spinning, and not because of the drugs, but because of what Madison told me.

  “I am gonna kill that mother—”

  “You’re awake?”

  I look right to find Tally is sitting there. I give a nod.

  “You’re in pain?”

  I nod again.

  “The nurse said you can drink. It might make you feel better.”

  “I don’t see how it could.”

  She looks at me sadly.

  “Don’t look at me like that, Tales. I mean, shit happens. Maybe not all at once like today, but shit happens.”

  “You’re going to be okay.”

  “Yeah.” I nod.

  “Wasn’t asking.” She gets up and sits on my right side, taking the cup off the rolling stand then bending the straw as she leans toward me. “Hydrate, rest, heal.”

  “It’s that easy?”

  She nods. “Hydrate, rest, heal.” Then she leans in and kisses my head.

  “Where’s Mads?”

  “Your band mates took her back to the house to sleep. She’s kind of … tired.”

  “She okay?”

  “She will be.”

  I take a drink, and then she sets it down and turns her body toward me.

  “You will be, too.”

  “My old man fucked around on a woman he told he loved every day on the phone or in person.”

  “Things happen. I know it sucks, but they do.”

  “You lost your old man,” I whisper because it hurts to talk.

  “Madison said she wants to kill yours,” she says with a sad smile.

  “She’s not alone.”

  “Can I get you anything?”

  I smirk, and she laughs, shaking her head.

  “Even in pain, I want whatever it is your offering.”

  “A kiss?”

  “No.”

  She looks hurt.

  “Tales, I haven’t brushed my teeth in a while. It’s definitely me being a gentleman.”

  “A toothbrush?”

  “Now you’re talking.”

  “I’ll be right back.” She walks towards the door.

  “I’m not going anywhere.”

  “They did untie you.” She smiles a sweet smile.

  “That was fucked up, right?” It still pisses me off.

  “This is all fucked up.”

  “Tales.” I stop her before she leaves. “Tell one of them chicks I am taking this tube out of my dick if they don’t get in here and do it. That shit’s not natural.”

  The nurse comes in a few minutes later. “I’m Sandy. I’ll be removing the tubing.”

  “Good. Can I brush my teeth first?”

  She hands me a toothbrush with paste on it and a pan to spit in. When I’m done, she pulls the sheet away. I am looking down at my dick with a hose coming out of it. So fucking not cool.

  “You may feel a slight tug or pull when it comes out, but it won’t hurt.”

  “Gotcha.” I brace myself for it, anyway.

  “You’ll feel relieved, but you might pass urine when you don’t want to.”

  “You’re kidding, right?” I snarl.

  She looks at me deadpan, and I realize Nurse Sandy isn’t fucking kidding.

  “This is an incontinence pad.” She shows it to me. “Lift your bum.”

  “I don’t have a bum; I have an ass.” I try my best not to be pissy, but fuck this shit.

  She gives me that look again. “It’ll get better over time.”

  “How much time?” I ask as she pulls the tubing out of my dick.

  “No
t long.”

  “Sandy, when my dick is in your hand, I don’t wanna hear ‘not long,’ because it is.” She turns her back to walk out. “Tell me I’m lying?”

  “Goodnight, Mr. Black.”

  You have got to be fucking kidding me. I’m gonna lie here and piss myself, and she can’t even laugh at that shit. Fucking healthcare.

  The good news is, I’m not pissing myself. The bad news is, Tales hasn’t returned.

  I sit and wait and wait some more.

  When she finally comes back in, she is all wide-eyed, and her face is red.

  “You’re back,” I state happily.

  “Yep.” She takes my water cup and holds it up. “Drink.”

  “Not sure if that’s a good idea.”

  “Your throat.”

  I look at her, she looks at me, and neither one of us says a word. I see it in her eyes, though; she is questioning something.

  I shake my head.

  “Memphis …” she says in a warning, squaring her shoulders. “Hydration is necessary, so if you’re worried about”—she glances down at my dick; I swear to fuck she does—“something, just don’t. You’ve been through—”

  “Worried about what?”

  She glances down again.

  I shake my head. “Spill it.”

  “I heard the nurses giggling at their station,” she whispers.

  “About me?”

  She shrug. “Something about an ass and not a bum and then length and—”

  “I’m not pissing myself, Tales.”

  She holds out the cup. “Take a drink, Memphis Black, or you won’t be pissing at all, and then you’ll get an infection, and you might just end up all sorts of”—she pauses—“fucked up. Your hand, your throat, and your penis, Memphis. Do you want those things most important in your life to remain … injured, or are you more worried about a little leakage?”

  “You said fuck, and my dick heard you.” I can’t help messing with her. “And it’s seems to have blood flowing in the right direction, so …”

  “You’re a pig.” She smirks as she sits down next to me.

  “Careful, sweet cheeks, don’t get too close.”

  She laughs, and then her eyes fill up with tears. “You’re going to be okay.”

  “Yeah, I’m going to be fine,” I tell her so she doesn’t worry, but fuck if doubt isn’t on stage under the spotlight, center stage in my head. “I brushed my teeth.”

  “So did I.”