Inside, Pt. 1

by Kyra Anderson

  “Say that again,” Clark growled. “Call me a faggot one more time.”

  “Clark, enough,” Melissa warned. Lance chuckled and leaned back in his seat, triumphant.

  “You’re awfully defensive…”

  “Oh, if only you knew the things I’ve seen your uncle do with Dana.” Clark hissed.

  Lance’s face fell and he stood up angrily.

  “And what, you participated?” Lance hissed. “Or did you jerk off to what you were seeing?”

  “You know it’s against the law to engage in any activities of a homosexual nature,” Clark said angrily.

  “No wonder you want to be so close to Mr. Christenson, then,” Lance chuckled. “Keeps you nice and safe as long as you please him, huh?”

  “You know that Mr. Christenson won’t take him to the lab until he gets tired of him,” a girl giggled coldly. “The little faggot that he is…he won’t last another two years…”

  “For the last goddamn time!” Clark snapped, looking around. “I’m not a fucking faggot, so you can back the fuck off!”

  “Then why are you getting so defensive about it?” Brian said. “You’ve never actually fucked a girl, admit it.”

  I had no idea what possessed me, but I realized that I was the only one who could step in on Clark’s behalf. He was being torn apart by the cruel children and I had to find a way to help him. But, seeing how well Clark’s method was working, I knew I had to play by their rules.

  I walked to Clark, trying to put as much movement into my hips as I could. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, leaning close to his ear.

  “It’s alright.” I whispered. “Just calm down.”

  He turned to me, startled, and I forced a wobbly smile.

  “What are you…”

  “I’m sure he’s never been with a girl, himself,” I assured, keeping my arms around Clark and turning to Brian, channeling my inner bitch. “He probably has to beg for it. Or maybe even pay.”

  “What the fuck does that mean?” Brian asked.

  “Just what it sounds like,” I said with a cold smile. Surprisingly, it was very easy to act like a bitch. I turned to Clark and smiled, placing one of my hands against the side of his face. “You know…I know we said we wouldn’t flaunt anything, but I don’t mind if they know.”

  Clark’s demeanor changed. For a moment, I could have sworn he had the same dangerous air I had seen on Dana. His hand went around my waist and he glared at those who had been attacking him—who were now awfully silent. I leaned closer to Clark as the other favorite of Dana smirked.

  “No,” he assured confidently, “we’ll let them keep guessing.”

  He turned us both, keeping his arm around my waist as I kept a hand on his shoulder. We returned to our seats in the back. After we passed everyone, Clark leaned over.

  “What the hell was that?”

  “I plead temporary insanity.”

  We sat in our spots and turned back to everyone. Since my bitchy demeanor had gotten everyone to shut up, I tried to keep the same front. I sat confidently, even though I was internally smacking myself, wondering what the hell I had been thinking.

  “Is there anything else we need to argue about here?” Melissa snapped.

  You know, you could have stepped in… I scolded her mentally as everyone remained silent.

  “Great,” Melissa groaned. “As I was saying before you all decided to have a pissing contest, Lily Sandover is a particular favorite of Mr. Christenson. Her family will be a wonderful addition to the Commission and I’m sure we’ll get along well.”

  The meeting wrapped up and we all went to the bus. Clark sighed.

  “You know, people will talk…”

  “They talk anyway,” I shrugged. “We need to stick together and help one another out. I hope you don’t mind that I did that.”

  “No,” he assured. His eyes went to his feet and he sighed. “However…”

  “What?”

  “Well…I am a little concerned about what will happen when Dana finds out what you said.” I felt my blood run cold. He didn’t say “if” Dana found out. It was “when.”

  “You don’t think he’ll take it seriously, do you?”

  Clark chuckled brokenly. “You don’t know Dana well enough yet, obviously…”

  We descended the stairs after everyone else. However, because we were last coming out of the club, we were the last on the bus and had to sit in the back. As we were walking, Clark in front of me in the narrow isle, a hand groped me. Lance and Brian laughed in the seat next to me. I flushed red and quickly moved to the back of the bus as some of the others who had seen the molestation laughed, amused. One more hand reached out and tried to touch me before I sat down.

  I sat next to Clark, trying to keep my humiliated tears at bay.

  “I’m sorry,” he whispered again.

  “It’s alright…” I lied.

  This was one fucked up world.

  Chapter Fifteen

  I was having another panic attack in route to our second Commission meeting. It was obvious that my parents were also reluctant to go to the gathering. We had gotten dressed for the formal affair slowly, dragging our feet to the car and driving just at the speed limit to remain outside the Commission as long as possible.

  No one spoke. I wondered if my parents were trying to figure out how to get out of the Commission or if they were just going to accept that we were trapped and try to adapt, as my mother suggested.

  I didn’t want to adapt—I wanted to fight. I had been wondering if there was any way to quietly let the American people know the truth about the Commission.

  We reached the Commission building and went through the same security procedure. We had our phones checked in and our purses and jackets searched before we were led to the elevator.

  We were fifteen minutes early, so we had to interact with others before the meeting started. I stuck close to my father, but it wasn’t long before other Commish Kids honed in on my location.

  Suddenly, Brian was at my side.

  “Good evening, Lily,” he greeted. My anger flared, remembering the previous night in the club. I tried to force my bitchy attitude to the surface.

  “Hello, Brian.”

  “Why don’t we get something to drink?” he asked.

  “No, thank you.”

  “Go on, Lily,” my mother urged, nodding. I rounded on her quickly. She didn’t understand what this boy had done the previous night or the things he had said. Rather than explain, I ground my teeth together and walked to the bar with Brian.

  “What would you like?” Brian asked when we were in front of the bar.

  “Nothing,” I snarled. “What do you want with me, Brian?”

  “Seriously?” he asked with a broken chuckle. “Clark?”

  “I don’t see what business it is of yours.”

  “He’s a faggot,” Brian laughed. “Everyone knows it.”

  “That’s not what I know.” I was already digging myself a deep hole, but I could not seem to stop digging.

  Brian looked me over, trying to decide if I was lying or telling the truth. His eyes changed, turning from inquisitive to hungry.

  “Is that so?” He smiled. “Why don’t you get with a real man?”

  “I don’t see any nearby.”

  “You’ve got some fight in you,” Brian chuckled. “I like that.”

  “Oh, please,” I rolled my eyes, “that is so cliché. I’m not some project or conquest, and I’m sure as hell not as stupid as the other girls in the Commission, so you can leave me the fuck alone.”

  Brian laughed and shook his head.

  “Ah, they all say that.”

  “They?” I scoffed.

  “But deep down inside,” he said, placing a hand on my hip, which I quickly moved away from, “you want it…”

  “Stop.”

  “C’mon,” he insisted. “You were obviously desperate enough to do it with Clark, of all people.”

  “I told you
, that’s none of your business.”

  “What the hell is with you?” Brian growled. “What? Just because you’re Mr. Christenson’s favorite, you’re better than everyone else?”

  “Yes,” a voice answered at my side. My blood halted as the voice ran down my spine. His presence was cold at my side. I turned and saw him, Clark next to him. Dana was wearing an immaculate three-piece suit again, fiddling with the pocket watch as his dark glasses shielded his eyes.

  His arm snaked around me and he fixed the startled Brian with a dark, veiled stare.

  “She is better than everyone else,” Dana said. “After all, I don’t give special attention to just anyone.”

  His big hands were warm, which startled me. Seeing him with his cool appearance and frightening demeanor, it was strange to feel warmth. I felt my heart racing, though it wasn’t only from fear. A part of me was excited to have him near me, touching me. As Clark had said, Dana had “that kind of power.”

  “Mr. Christenson…” Brian greeted, unsure what to do in front of the leader of the Commission. “I apologize, I didn’t see you come in.”

  “I tend to sneak up on people.” Dana smiled coldly. “Besides, I’m sure that you were just heading back to your table.”

  That was obviously an order.

  “Yes, sir, that’s right,” Brian nodded, “I was. Excuse me.”

  As he left, I kept my eyes down, wondering if Dana would move his hand.

  He didn’t.

  “Young boys…” Dana sighed. “They don’t know the art of seducing a woman.”

  Dana moved to stand in front of me, smiling as his hand moved from my waist to my face, his fingers gently running over the skin of my cheek.

  “Good evening, Little Lily.”

  “G-good evening…” I stammered, backing away. “Uh…thank-thank…”

  “I don’t like sharing, Little Lily,” he told me bluntly. He looked between Clark and me. “You would both do well to remember that.”

  Dana turned away. My body relaxed as he walked to the other side of the room. Clark, who was avoiding eye contact.

  “What was all that about sharing?” I asked.

  “Never mind,” Clark murmured. “Don’t worry about it.”

  His tone told me that something was very wrong. I wanted to ask, but my mother suddenly placed her hand on my shoulder, causing me to jump.

  “It’s alright,” she chuckled at my reaction. “It’s just me. Come sit down. The meeting is about to start.”

  Once again, at exactly ten, the doors locked. Dana walked around the room as the meeting commenced. Clark, once again, moved next to my seat to help me understand the material. I could not pay attention that week, either. I was too focused on Dana’s movements, watching the predator move as if trying to decide his next prey among the herd.

  I did notice, however, when the Enterprise project was mentioned. I recalled images of Eyna on the table and wondered how many people had actually seen the experiment.

  The meeting finished around midnight, and Dana approached our table as people cleared out.

  “So, Sandovers,” he started, sitting in the chair next to my father, pushing Mr. Lloyd out of his seat, “how have you been?”

  “Fine, thank you, Mr. Christenson,” my mother responded.

  “Oh, what’s this Mr. Christenson, stuff?” he chuckled. “I told you, call me Dana.”

  “Yes, sorry, Dana,” my mother corrected herself, her voice shaking.

  “Tell me, are you ready for Mykail to join you?” Dana asked. “Are the workers almost finished?”

  “Yes,” my father affirmed. “They finished up earlier today.”

  “Excellent. What time should I bring him by? Eleven?”

  “Um…sure…eleven works,” my mother agreed.

  “Wonderful.” Dana grinned. “And you, Little Lily? Are you excited for your new pet?”

  I stared at him, my eyes wide.

  “I don’t think of him as a pet, Mr. Christenson,” I said coldly. My parents looked at me in shock, as did everyone around us. Clark leaned forward.

  “Lily, don’t pick a fight with him…”

  “And why wouldn’t you see him as a pet?” Dana asked, leaning forward, interested.

  “Because he’s a human being.”

  “Not anymore.”

  “He was at one point.”

  “So were corpses.” Dana shrugged. “And yet, we can’t think to treat them the same as other humans, can we?” He smiled darkly. “Think of it this way. Our experiments are like a death and a rebirth combined. The human part dies, we spend a few days observing it, and then we put the human part in the ground and get a new puppy instead.”

  “It’s not that simple,” I protested.

  “Why not?”

  “Because it’s not.”

  “Humans are creatures of attachment,” Dana said. “They need interaction, other life forms—human or animal. Humans cannot be alone. So when a human would be ostracized or killed because they were different, or didn’t fit to the mold of society, they are alone. Most end up killing themselves if they cannot find others to understand and accept them. Whatever part of the human is still within Mykail, we are allowing it companionship by allowing him to be with a family. Otherwise, he would be sitting in his cell, alone.”

  “Why did you take him in the first place?” I growled.

  At this, I heard everyone gasp. Apparently asking about the crimes from which the Commission acquired its subjects was taboo.

  “I didn’t,” Dana said. “You did.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “You, as part of American society, has decided what is acceptable and what is not,” Dana continued, his voice almost playful. He was enjoying the argument. “People, like you, cannot handle those who are different. You ostracize them, hurt them, murder them…so, to protect yourself, you, as a society, decided who needed to be removed.”

  “That was not a personal decision,” I hissed.

  “Then, if I told you that Mykail used to allow other men to fuck him, you would be okay with it?” Dana asked, his voice turning dangerous. “If I told you that his partner was his older half-brother, who was responsible for smuggling illegal drugs over the border, you would be understanding and not let it determine the way you treat him?”

  “Well…no…” I could feel myself losing ground rapidly. “But he shouldn’t be punished in this manner.”

  “Punished?” Dana raised an eyebrow. “This is not punishment. It’s rebirth. After everything that he did, every law that he broke, he has been given a gift. Just look at him. He’s become an angel.”

  “Against his will.”

  “Nothing is a willful choice anymore,” Dana chuckled. “If it was, you wouldn’t be here right now, would you?”

  I could feel Dana’s eyes working through me behind his glasses. He was all I could see. There was no one else in the room—only the two of us.

  “No,” I said as strongly as I could.

  “Well, at least you’re honest,” Dana said with a crooked smile.

  “Dana, I am so sorry about my daughter,” my father said quickly. “We didn’t raise her to be so rude.”

  “No, of course not,” Dana said, turning to my father. “Actually, it’s refreshing. It’s been a while since anyone has had the backbone to give me this kind of shit.”

  I dared to glare at him and he chuckled.

  “Little Lily, I am going to enjoy you very much.”

  “Don’t count on it.”

  “Lily!” my mother gasped.

  “Your spirit seems familiar,” Dana noted. He turned to my father again. “I knew a man when I was about her age that had this kind of defiance in him.” He walked around to my chair, leaning down to my ear. “It took a lot of time on the table, but he finally broke.” He leaned closer, pressing his jaw against the side of my head. “You will, too, in time…”

  Dana straightened, turning to the large group that had gathered around us. />
  “What?” he asked. “Go on, go home.”

  They started moving slowly, looking back at me with distain and shock, not believing that I had said such things to Dana Christenson, of all people. Thinking back, I realized that picking a fight with the leader of the Commission of the People was suicidal.

  Dana turned to my mother and father.

  “We’re so sorry, Dana…” my mother said. “I can’t believe she—”

  “It is no concern,” Dana assured. His voice changed, turning sultry. “I am not upset.”

  “Oh…” my mother whispered, clearly tasting the honey in his voice. “Th-thank you for your understanding…”

  “It is no trouble,” Dana said. “After all, she has you for her mother, I know she was raised right.”

  “Oh…Dana…you are far too kind.” My mother smiled, her cheeks flushing.

  Clark’s hand was on my shoulder, turning me.

  “Are you out of your mind?!”

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered.

  “Don’t be, it was brilliant. But are you out of your mind?!” he repeated.

  “I don’t know, I guess so…” I said. “I don’t even know why I said those things.”

  “I will see you tomorrow morning,” Dana said to my parents. “If you could open your garage door, we’ll bring him in that way so none of the neighbors see him.”

  “Thank you, Dana,” my father repeated, shaking his hand again. “We look forward to tomorrow.”

  “So do I.” Dana grinned mysteriously, turning to me. I was in far over my head.

  As Dana left the room, my father grabbed my arm.

  “What was all of that?”

  “I’m sorry,” I murmured. I was upset that my father was so angry about my argument with Dana. I had thought that he was also against what was going on in the Commission, but his anger with me made me wonder if he had already started adapting to the norms of the Commission of the People.

  “You do realize that you were arguing with Dana Christenson, right? This is not a man you want to upset!” my father snarled. “He practically runs the country under Leader Simon.”

  “Dad, do you really think that Leader Simon can control a man like Dana Christenson?”