Forced to Love

by Tasha Fawkes

  I hurl myself off the bed and launch at Nate, grabbing him around the throat.

  “Get the hell out of my room. Now,” I growl.

  “Fine,” he mutters. “You’re a selfish piece of shit, you know that, right?”

  Seventeen

  Charlene

  I haven't seen Matt since yesterday and although I'm worried, I know there's not much I can do until he decides he's ready to talk to me. Things just feel so much more complicated than they were before we slept together. I guess it was easier for both of us to hide what we were really feeling up until that point. But then things became real.

  I didn’t go to work. I wanted to give him space. Instead, I put all my energy into cleaning the condo. I started in the kitchen, slowly working my way through the whole house because it kept my mind off Matt. Not only that, cleaning gave me a sense of purpose. By the time I was done, I was exhausted.

  I sit down on the couch, not sure if I'm going to be able to get myself back up. I glance at my phone, fighting the urge to call him again. Thankfully, it’s out of my reach and getting up for it feels too hard.

  Where is he? I'm starting to really get worried that something has happened. What if he’s done something stupid? Usually I wouldn't think he would be capable of that, but the way he left here last night… anything is possible.

  A knock sounds on the door. My heart leaps, because I think it's him. But why would he knock? Why not just walk right in? It is his place, after all. I struggle up from my seat and walk over to the door. When I open it, I'm shocked to see his mother standing there.

  She frowns at me, but before I can ask her what she wants, she pushes past me and walks inside. I stare at her. The few times we’d met I felt intimidated and overwhelmed, but she had at least been friendly and polite. That’s not the vibe she’s giving off at the moment.

  She’s angry, and she’s angry at me. She glares at me with such intensity that I begin to feel uncomfortable. I just wish I knew what is going on.

  “Mrs. Harris—” I begin.

  “Cut the bullshit, Charlene. How much is it going to cost me for you to keep your end of this arrangement,” she cuts me off, practically spitting the words at me.

  “What are you talking about?” I ask, my eyes wide. “I haven’t said or done anything other than what was expected of me.” And more. I flush at the thought.

  Then it dawns on me. If she thinks I’ve pulled out of the arrangement, then she must have gotten that from Matt. He must want out. But why? Because of what happened? Surely, we can work through this.

  “You know exactly what I’m talking about,” Diane snaps.

  “No, I don't,” I retort. “You can’t storm in here and accuse me of things when you have no idea what you’re talking about. I haven’t seen Matt since yesterday. I have no idea what is going on, but the agreement was that I marry him and that's what I've done. I've kept up my end of the deal. If anyone is backing out of anything, it's him.”

  She frowns, not looking convinced. At least she’s lowered her tone. I’m sure the whole complex heard her yelling at me when she first walked in.

  “And what about having Matt's child?” she asks. “You’re telling me you haven’t backed out of that part of the deal?” I stare at her, shocked, and convinced I must have misheard.

  “His child?” I gasp. He has never mentioned a child as part of any agreement.

  “Yes,” she says, her tone growing impatient. “The other part of the agreement? The part that you haven't lived up to?” she adds, an edge to her voice.

  I wander over to the couch in a daze and sit down. I’m expected to have his child? I shake my head. He wouldn’t keep that from me. I mean, there is no way I would’ve agreed to this if I knew that was a condition. He knows that—

  I stop mid thought. He knows that. What if that’s why he didn’t tell me? Maybe his plan all along was just to...

  “Charlene?” I jump and look up at Diane. She’s still frowning, but there’s now sympathy in her expression. “You didn’t know, did you?”

  I shake my head, unable to speak. She laughs and throws her hands up. She’s still angry, but it’s no longer directed at me.

  “Well, this is just perfect. Can you tell that son of mine I wish to speak to him?”

  She’s gone before I can answer her. Not that it matters. All I can think about is the fact that he lied to me. He has been keeping something from me, something big, something he knew that I'd never agree to. And for what? What was his plan from here, to just impregnate me against my will and guilt me into going through with having the child?

  Standing up, I pick up a vase sitting on the coffee table and hurl it at the wall. My heart races. I feel so stupid. Everything was just a ploy to get me to sleep with him. He wasn’t feeling anything for me, other than a little bit of guilt and maybe pressure from his family that I wasn’t going along with things as quickly as they wanted me to. I collapse onto the couch, fighting back tears.

  The front door clicks, and I look up to see Matt standing there. His eyes widen slightly when he sees my tears.

  “You know,” he says, his voice soft. “How?”

  “Your mother. She was here, demanding to know why I wasn't going through with my part of the deal. When were you going to tell me that I’m expected to have your child?” I ask him, my anger rising. “Were you ever going to tell me? Or were you just going to let me think it was some happy little accident when you got me pregnant?”

  “Of course I was going to tell you,” he frowns. “Why do you think my mother was here? Because I just called the whole thing off.”

  “So what now?” I laugh, shocked that he thinks that this fixes anything. “You run away? You just go and marry someone else who is willing to have your kid? Just like that?” When he doesn't answer right away, I know that's his plan. I laugh, disgusted by him. “I can't believe you. I can't believe that I was starting to fall in love with you.”

  “Charlene, please just hear me out.”

  “Get out of my sight,” I growl. He inches closer to me, but I push him away with such force that it surprises me. “I'm leaving, okay? You stay here in your fancy condo because I don't want anything from you. You think I need your help? Just leave me the hell alone.”

  I go into my bedroom and throw a few things into a bag. I'm not really thinking about anything other than getting out of there as fast as possible. I brush past Matt, who stands in the doorway to my room, watching me. I stalk toward the front door while he follows. He doesn’t try to stop me. Probably because he knows that there's no way I'm going to stay here and listen to him.

  I toss my bags in the backseat then climb into my car. I don't know where I'm going, just that I have to get away. I keep driving, my mind kicking over with so many thoughts I can barely focus on the road in front of me.

  Somehow, I end back up at my father’s gravesite. I glance up at the angry sky. It looks like it’s going to rain, but I don't care. I get out of the car and walk over to his grave, kneeling in front of him. The tears begin to flow again the moment I hit the wet soil. I'm so angry at him.

  “You started this,” I sob. “This is all your fault.”

  If he hadn't have gotten himself into so much debt and left it with me, I wouldn't be in this mess. God, if he was still alive, I wouldn't be married to Matt right now. I sink down, planting my ass on the ground, just as the rain begins to fall. I shiver, running my hand over my arms as the cold drops of rain hit them.

  I’ve been sitting here for what feels like hours when something touches me on the shoulder. I jump and turn around, expecting to see Matt, but it's Margie. I stand up and frown, because I have no idea how she found me.

  “Matt called me,” she says softly. “Don't worry,” she adds, when she sees my expression. “He wouldn’t tell me anything, just that you needed me.”

  I throw my arms around her, grateful she's here, in spite of the fact that he sent her.

  “What happened?” she asks gently.
<
br />   “He lied to me. About everything,” I mutter, my voice shaking. “He didn't tell me that there was another part of the deal I was expected to fulfill.”

  “What do you mean?” she frowns.

  “I didn't just have to marry him for a year. I also had to have his child.” I spit the words out with anger. “His grandfather’s estate won’t release the money until Matt produces an heir.”

  Margie's eyes widen. “Are you kidding me? And he never thought to tell you that? What was he planning to do?” she gasps.

  I shrug. “I don't know, and I don't care. I just can't be there anymore.”

  “Come stay with me,” she says. She wraps her arms around me and kisses me on the forehead. “Just until you work things out, okay?” I nod, wrapping my arms around my friend’s waist. I can’t imagine ever sorting this out with him.

  What could he possibly say to me that would fix this?

  Eighteen

  Charlene

  Margie and I sit in front of the television, neither of us really watching it, because we’re too lost in our own thoughts. It’s Thursday night, and for the last three nights, I’ve been staying with Margie, trying to figure out where to go from here. Every time I think about him not telling me that I was expected to have his child, I feel sick. I think about the way he looked at me when we were intimate, and I wonder if that was a lie too, or if those feelings were real. Was everything a lie? A hollow feeling forms in my stomach. It hurts to even think about it. I sigh out loud without intending to.

  Margie glances over and gives me a sympathetic smile. Up until now, I’ve mostly avoided talking about Matt, but the way she keeps sneaking glances in my direction, I know the questions are coming.

  “How are you feeling?” she asks.

  I shrug. “Like a fool?”

  “This isn’t your fault,” she replies with a frown.

  “Maybe not, but I should’ve expected it.”

  “Why?”

  I laugh bitterly. “Because I’m in a marriage for money? Because I’m me? Or because nothing ever goes the way it should. You choose,” I mumble. I glance at her, wishing I could break out of this cycle of self-pity.

  “So what are you going to do now?” she asks.

  “Finish watching the movie and then go to bed, I guess.” I shrug, pretending I don’t know what she’s talking about. She frowns at me.

  “You know what I mean. What about Matt? And your job? Have you thought any more about going back to work?” she asks.

  I shrug. “I’m not sure I can go back.” Aside from Matt, work was the only thing I’d been thinking about.

  I haven't been at work since I found out what he’d been keeping from me. I couldn’t handle the thought of facing him. It started off with me just needing a few days to sort my head out, but then going back came around way too quickly. Today, I had a panic attack at the thought of going back in, so I emailed and said I needed two weeks off for a personal matter. I knew Matt wouldn’t argue. The least he can do is give me time off work to figure this out. As much as I love my job, I can't see myself ever going back. Not after everything that's happened.

  The thing that scares me the most is how far I’ve come over the past month and how quickly that can all unravel. I’ve got no money. All the cash Matt gave me went straight into paying off my father’s debt. I’m sure I won’t see a cent of the rest of the money, either. His lawyers will get him out of that contract, even though it was his actions that led me to leave. Not that I want any of it. I don’t want anything from him.

  “You should really think about going back. Why should you be the one to leave? He should leave,” Maggie declares. I laugh, wishing it were that simple.

  “You do know he owns the business, right?” I say with a grin. In spite of not feeling like smiling, Margie’s passion for my well-being always makes me happy.

  “So?” she says, her eyes blazing. “He stuffed up, not you. I don't think it's right that you lose what was one of the biggest opportunities of your life because he couldn't tell you the truth.”

  “I don’t know if I can do it.” I sigh.

  I know she's right, but even if he did leave, that wouldn't fix anything. Everyone would be pointing at me and whispering god knows what behind my back. I can't go back with, or without, Matt there.

  “Okay, so what about getting him to give you a reference then? Maybe with his help, you can get a job somewhere else that’s even better?”

  “But I don't want his help.” I frown. “I don't want anything from him. Even the money he gave me in the first place. I'm going to pay back every last cent. I don't care how long it takes me.”

  “Why?” Margie asks, her brow furrowing. “You earned that money. He broke the deal. Stop making this your fault.”

  “But it is my fault for allowing myself to be put in this position in the first place,” I argue.

  I frown, my eyes on the TV even though I’m not watching it. Why does everything always have to be so hard? Nothing ever goes right. There's always something waiting in the wings to stuff it all up. It's the story of my life. First, my parents and then my grandparents… everything goes wrong eventually. This is no different.

  I was stupid to think that things were going to work out in the first place, but what was even stupider was letting myself fall for him. I groan and close my eyes, feeling the tears starting to well. I’ve cried so much over the past week that I’m exhausted. I feel empty, and I’m sick of moping over someone who doesn’t deserve my tears.

  “We’ll figure this out, Charlene. You can stay here as long as you need to. I could probably get you a job at the café if you want?” she offers.

  I smile, forcing myself to try to sound brighter. She’s trying so hard, and I don’t want to make her feel any worse than I already am.

  A knock at the door saves me from having to answer, but then I start to panic as I wonder who it might be. Margie jumps up to answer it. It wouldn’t be Matt, would it? I’d made it clear that I didn't want to see him, but he doesn’t like to take no for an answer. I anxiously wait for Margie to return. When she does, she has such a strange look on her face that I immediately think the worst.

  “It’s not Matt,” she assures me. “But there is someone here to see you. Shannon? Shannon Morton?”

  I shrug, the name not doing anything for me. Why is she here? Did Matt send her? I frown, trying to decide whether to go find out or not.

  “I'll go,” I say, when Margie offers to say that I'm not here.

  I stand up and walk down the hall to the front door, taking my time. I’m shaking by the time I reach it, but I force myself to open it. I frown at the petite little brunette woman standing on the porch. She shifts from one foot to the other, clearly uncomfortable about being here. Her nervousness is making me even more anxious. I don't know why, but I’m sure she’s somehow connected to Matt. Why else would she be here?

  “Can I help you?” I ask, my voice colder than I intend it to be.

  “I’m Shannon. I, uh…I just want to talk to you.” She hesitates, taking a deep breath before continuing. “I'm a friend of Matt's. I know you probably don’t want to talk about him, but can I come in?” she asks, running her hand through her long, dark hair. “Just for a moment?”

  I shrug, like I don’t care either way and wave her inside. As she walks past me, I stiffen, the unmistakable scent of Matt’s aftershave floating past me. I know it’s not a coincidence, because he told me he has it specially made after they stopped making it. I’d laughed at the time, but now all I want to do is cry. Exactly how close is this girl to Matt? Is she my replacement? Is that why she’s here, to rub it in?

  When we reach the kitchen, I motion for her to sit down. She does, while I stand over near the sink.

  “Would you like a drink?” I ask her, feeling the sudden need to fill the awkward silence. She shakes her head.

  “No, I won't stay. I just think you should know something,” she says. “Matt's family has been pressuring him t
o annul his marriage to you, but he’s refusing.”

  “Why would he refuse?” I ask. I’m surprised to hear what she’s telling me. Does he think he still has a chance at changing my mind, or does he just not care about the inheritance anymore?

  Either way, why is it my problem?

  “Because he's in love with you,” she says. Her eyes meet mine.

  “And how would you know that?” I ask, my heart racing.

  “His brother, Nate, told me that he’s refusing to annul the marriage. He was hoping I could talk him around, since I was the one who Matt was supposed to marry in the first place. The family still thinks they can salvage the plan, if he annuls the marriage with you and he marries me.”

  “But he won't,” I say, my frown deepening.

  “He says he doesn’t care about the inheritance. The thing is, it’s not just him this decision affects. Matt has the business and plenty of other money. Nate and Rex don’t. They’re relying on this inheritance to set themselves up.”

  “Fine, but what does all this have to do with me?” I say, my voice laced with anger. I wish she would just get to the point. Is she really going to make me feel bad for leaving, after what he did?

  “I've known Matt a long time, and I've never seen him like this.” She stands up and walks over to me, leaning against the counter next to me. “He's really hung up on you.”

  “He should have been honest with me. He should have let me make an informed decision about what I was willing to do. Instead, he lied to me. How is that love?” I ask her.

  “I’m not condoning what he did,” she says softly. “Look, I'm not here to tell you what to do. But I need you to know that what he's doing is going to affect his family for life.”

  “Okay, but why do you care so much?” I ask her. Why is she even here? This is none of her business. “You’re here because you want me to forgive him, but why? Shouldn't you be pressuring him into annulling this marriage too? I mean, if he ends it with me, he marries you. And we both know you get something out of the deal if that happens.”