Who likes Short Shorts

by Pete Sortwell

  Superior robes.

  The youth group fancy dress party was held last week. Father Frederick only had one rule: the people we dress as must come from the Bible. I didn’t buy this item as I couldn’t get my hands on Father Frederick’s credit card for long enough. I did copy it, though. I used a wig I found in the lost property at the church, one of the altar boy outfits that Father Frederick keeps trying to make me wear at this house, and I nabbed a red piece of felt from the church. (I think they use it to rest the collection plates on.) The sandals I had to steal from one of the other kids, Bobby. I think I pulled off the copy well. Once I’d finished I looked very much like Jesus.

  It was a great disguise. And with an added bum bag I was able to nick no end of the vicar’s stuff. Getting it into my room at the children’s home was easy, too, as they didn’t think to look in my robes, they were just happy I’d stopped swearing at them instead of talking to them when I came in. For the first few weeks I’d just wafted past them holding up the Vs instead of talking to them. They’re still knobs but at least I can get away with stuff if I don’t attract negative attention.

  If you can afford this outfit, buy it. If not the picture is fantastic to work from.

  -Denny

  The Office Idiot Reviews

  Read the first three reviews from the book:

  Ronhill Men's Advanced Racer Shorts