Lone Survivor: An After Zombie Tale of Love & Survival (Last of Us #1)

by Nikki Landis

  “As much as I can, but I think I’ll have to leave soon.”

  Leave? What the fuck? “Why would you need to do that?”

  She shrugged but he could tell she was uncomfortable, almost too hesitant to speak up. “Has anyone been unkind or rude?”

  “Oh, no,” she blurted quickly, “it’s just that I wouldn’t want to overstay my welcome.”

  What kind of idiotic thought was that?

  “Listen, Bailee,” he ordered firmly, “we’re living in a dangerous and unpredictable time. It’s much safer for you to remain with our group . . . indefinitely.” Their gaze held as she seemed to contemplate his response for entirely too long. He exhaled a ragged breath as the seconds felt like hours.

  “Alright, I’ll think about it.”

  Her agreement didn’t specify how long and he bit his tongue to prevent himself from ordering her to stay until he could complete his mission. He didn’t want to issue an ultimatum so he remained silent on the subject. If she tried to leave, he’d bring it up. There wasn’t much point unless she did.

  As she walked over to Charlotte, he watched her with entirely too much interest. Every time he saw Bailee she snagged his immediate attention, almost as if he were drawn to her in a way that left him vulnerable. It didn’t make sense. He needed to put some space between them. They were growing too close.

  He stood to leave when Razz approached from the far side of the room. “Matt didn’t show up to post this afternoon.”

  Fuck. What was the matter with that kid? “Again?”

  “Yeah, and I don’t want to deal with his attitude.” Razz shook his head. “Maybe you can talk some sense into him.”

  “I’ll try. He’s been difficult lately.”

  “It’s not just post. He’s been giving some of the civilians a hard time, arguing with Tonya, miscounting supplies, and he shot off ammo and nearly got his patrol overtaken by Rotters yesterday.”

  Sawyer nodded. “I’ve got this, Razz. Thanks.”

  Matt needed a serious reprimand and it was a long time coming.

  “MATT, WE NEED TO TALK.” Sawyer held open the door to his office as a sullen Matt walked through the door, flopping down in an empty chair in defiance.

  “What is it, Saw?”

  “There’s been complaints and I need to know if they’re true.”

  Matt eyed him coolly and shrugged. “What if they are?”

  Sawyer sighed and leaned against the desk directly across, folding his arms across his chest. He hoped he wouldn’t have to have another discussion with Matt about his behavior but only a few weeks later, they were talking again. “I thought we discussed this last time.”

  “We did.”

  “Then what’s the problem, Matt?”

  “Nothing. I’m good.”

  The kid was lying but he didn’t want to make matters worse by confronting him about it. He was probably still hurting from his recent loss. “I know this isn’t easy. Liz –”

  “Don’t talk about my sister.” The venom in Matt’s voice wasn’t surprising. It hadn’t been long since he buried her. “You’re the one who sent her on patrol.”

  Not this again. He’d been accused and blamed since the moment it happened.

  “I know she wanted more for you,” Sawyer acknowledged, “and I don’t want you to feel overwhelmed. Maybe if you –”

  Matt cut him off a second time. “We aren’t best buddies, Saw. Take your caring bullshit elsewhere. No one gives a shit about my sister or the fact that she’s gone.”

  “That’s not true, Matt. I miss her every day.”

  “Stop,” he yelled, jumping up, “don’t worry, I’m done meeting with you and being reprimanded for stupid shit. I’ll toe the line.”

  Before Sawyer could respond and assure Matt he cared, the young man was gone.

  DAY 385, A.Z. –

  Bailee became a liability. The stronger his affection grew for her, the more she put Sawyer and the entire mission in jeopardy. Over the last ten days they had spent every moment talking, laughing, and sharing stories. He loved it . . . a little too much. With a sinking feeling in his gut, he knew he was jeopardizing his true purpose. His only focus should be contacting the base and organizing a rendezvous. The friendly and open interaction with Bailee couldn’t continue.

  The only solution was to distance himself. He knew how to do that fast and make his feelings and intentions clear. Too much flirting had happened already and if he continued down this path she would be in his bed before long. It was just the way his mind worked. Scratch that. It was his cock. His dick had a mind all of his own.

  Horny fucker.

  He stood on post next to Tonya and pretended to listen as she vented about something Iceman and Jester had done to piss her off. His thoughts were distracted, returning again and again to the curvy beauty that occupied his mind entirely too often. He was about to cut Tonya off when the opportunity he’d been waiting on presented itself.

  Sawyer saw Bailee coming his way and ignored the way her eyes lit up with pleasure at the sight of him. His heart constricted just a tiny bit and he was confused at the sudden flood of emotion. Turning to Tonya, he pushed her up against the wall and leaned in, his voice low and husky.

  “When are we gonna get some alone time?”

  “You hitting on me, Saw?”

  Tonya lifted her hands and stroked along his chest, trailing her fingers upward and into his hair.

  “Maybe.”

  The lust in her eyes was unmistakable. “You want to fuck me?”

  He shivered, but it wasn’t with desire as he would have thought. No, he could feel the penetrating gaze of Bailee. “There’s a lot I want.”

  “Then let’s go to my room,” she invited, snaking one hand down to cup his crotch. “You’re already hard.”

  He played the flirting game a little longer until he was certain that Bailee was no longer watching . . .

  But he was wrong.

  As he leaned back he saw her standing there, tears streaming down her flushed cheeks. A look of total devastation was evident on her face. Ignoring the pain that caused him to tremble slightly, he pretended indifference. Sawyer felt bad but this was why he needed to make sure Bailee understood. Nothing was going to happen between the two of them. No relationship. No sex. No feelings.

  Nothing.

  His jaw locked in determination at her display of tears. He turned back to Tonya as she pressed her lips to his. He heard Bailee call him a bastard and run off. Good. Mission accomplished. Now he had nothing to worry about.

  So, why did he feel like a jerk?

  Tonya eyed him coolly as he pulled suddenly back, breaking the brief kiss. “You just used me to push Bailee away.”

  He shrugged, “Why do you care, Tonya? We’ve never been exclusive or actually dated.”

  “That may be true, but it doesn’t make you any less of an asshole. Congrats. That was a pretty dick move, to us both.”

  He knew it was, but the only one he felt bad about hurting was Bailee. “I’m sorry, Tonya.”

  “Save it, Saw. Both of us know the only one you cared about just walked away.”

  He couldn’t deny it. There was no reason to keep up the charade and lie. When he noticed Tonya was gone, he hardly had space in his head to think about the consequences of his actions.

  Shoving his hands in his pockets, he walked toward the other end of the compound. Finding a quiet place alone to think, he leaned against the concrete wall, banging his head lightly once or twice. He was a fool, in more ways than one. No Marine let his feelings dictate his actions. He needed to regain control and that stunt was necessary.

  This was the best choice. Bailee would understand eventually.

  Time to implement the next part of the plan. As soon as they had enough supplies, the base would be contacted. He’d leave and never think of Bailee again. The sooner he dropped her off, the sooner he would be rid of her and these pesky emotions like guilt. He was a soldier. A Marine. All that mattered w
as his objective. His mission.

  That’s it.

  Fuck everything else.

  DAY 386, A.Z. –

  Sawyer was nothing but a conceited jerk. Another alpha male who thought he owned every pussy he came in contact with. Not mine. Screw him. I could care less who he slept with or why.

  Fuck Sawyer and his head games.

  He was too old for me anyway, even if he wasn’t such a conceited prick. I didn’t miss the way Tonya hung on his every word and touched him whenever the opportunity arose as if she felt the need to claim him in front of me. Bitch. If he wanted her, he could have her.

  I was done.

  When Charlotte asked if I wanted to go along on their scavenging trip, I jumped at the chance to leave the compound and occupy my mind with something other than Sawyer. Unfortunately, he was leading this little expedition. Avoiding him proved impossible.

  “Be careful, Bailee. Clear the room first,” Sawyer shouted.

  “Be careful, Bailee. Don’t trip over a thumbtack,” I mimicked with sarcasm.

  A few snickers could be heard behind me. Not that I cared. I’d make fun of their leader as much as I wanted. If he had an issue with me disrespecting him in front of his men, he could take it up with me. I sort of hoped he did so I could chew his ass out again.

  Conceited, arrogant jerk.

  “Bailee, where the fuck are you?” Sawyer’s voice boomed across the house. Idiot.

  “Bailee, clear the room. Bailee, obey all the rules,” I mumbled under my breath. “Sawyer, you can suck a dick.”

  A loud guffaw made me wince in surprise, but I didn’t take my comment back or apologize.

  Razz and Iceman were laughing, but made an effort to control themselves. I don’t know why. They sure messed with Saw often enough and he gave them shit right back.

  “Bailee!”

  If he continued this ridiculous overprotective bullshit . . .

  “Bailee, I know you hear me.”

  “Listen,” I yelled with attitude, turning on Sawyer and letting all the hatred I felt for him into my voice, “I know what the hell I’m doing. I cleared fifty buildings and homes alone before we ever met so step off, Sawyer.”

  As I said the words one of the undead stumbled into the room. Raising my gun, I fired without blinking, hitting the man right between the eyes. He dropped instantly. Take that, Shithead Sawyer.

  “I get what kind of world we live in. I’m a survivor so get the fuck out of my way.”

  His jaw dropped as I stomped around him, climbing the stairs to clear the rest of the house before we gathered what supplies we needed. I refused to glance back and see if he watched me, but I felt the burn of his gaze and knew that he did anyway.

  A half hour later we moved to the next house. I rushed ahead of the others, banging on the front window with my palm. A few seconds later several bodies filled the glass. They never could resist the noise.

  “Wait up, Bailee!” Sawyer yelled. “Stick to the mission and follow orders!”

  Not a chance, dickhead.

  I kicked in the front door and fired several shots, killing the undead before they could move away from the window. The house was clear in less than a minute. Yeah, I was a bad ass and now Sawyer knew it.

  Prideful asshole.

  “Bailee!” he hollered, only a few minutes later.

  “Yeah,” I yelled back, not bothering to move from the kitchen. This house had a lot of canned goods. Some of them were jarred and homemade. Not sure if we could eat it all but I was taking it anyway. Later we could throw away what spoiled or what was questionable.

  “Come here!”

  I sighed and walked across the living room, down the hall, and into a bedroom. The decor was pink and splattered with paisley print and flowers. Too girly for my tastes . . .

  Except for the bloody handprints, of course.

  Damn zombie apocalypse.

  “There’s a lot you might want to check out in this room.”

  I shrugged as he opened the spacious walk-in closet. Despite my resolve to remain angry, my jaw dropped. So many clothes. With a cry, I rushed forward and started going through the endless amount of dresses, tops, and pants. Wow.

  Without a thought, I began to strip. My clothes had seen better days. Standing in my bra and panties, I rummaged through the contents and found a cute pair of skinny jeans. They fit like they were made just for me as I slid them on. Whoever they belonged to, the girl was my exact size. A lacy camisole, solid tank top, and Army green jean jacket later; I was dressed better than I had been in nearly a year.

  The joy didn’t end there.

  An endless supply of shoes was located in the back. I found two pairs of knee-high boots, really nice expensive leather ones with decent tread, and tugged on the brown pair. I was taking the black ones with me. No way would I find such nice boots again.

  “Take as much as you want.”

  I forgot Sawyer was there and nearly jumped. “I haven’t had anything new to wear in such a long time,” I admitted. “Finding clean clothes is such a luxury now.”

  “I know. Take as much as you can carry. I’ve got this extra bag,” he offered as he tossed it my way.

  I caught it with ease and began shoving underwear, socks, tops, and extra pants into the duffel bag.

  “Look at me, Bailee.”

  “I can’t.” I hadn’t been able to look him in the eye since I caught him making out with Tonya.

  Asshole.

  “Yes, you can,” he argued, moving closer. His finger tilted my chin up until our eyes met. “I thought it was best that night to make sure you understood.”

  “Understood what?” I asked with more than a little attitude.

  “How things are,” he answered vaguely.

  “And how’s that?”

  His jaw pumped a few times but he didn’t answer.

  “You know what? Save it, Sawyer. I don’t care anyway.”

  He flinched. “You sure about that?” His eyes wouldn’t release mine. He kept his muscular body close, one arm tugging me within his strong embrace. “I’m not buying it.”

  The attraction between us sizzled as the air electrified. There’s no doubt we had chemistry, but I wasn’t about to admit how his touch made my entire body tremble with desire. He was a womanizer and only cared about himself.

  My chin rose a notch. “What you think doesn’t matter now,” I replied haughtily. “Besides you gave up the right to an opinion when you made it perfectly clear I meant nothing to you.” He opened his mouth to protest, but I shook my head. “Go back to your whores. I don’t want anything to do with your games.”

  His expression hardened at my reply, “Don’t be a bitch.”

  I shoved him so hard he stumbled back several feet. That would only be possible if I caught him off guard which didn’t make sense. Whatever. He was a total dick and a liar. “Don’t be an asshole. Oh wait, that’s right, you already are one.”

  “Bailee,” he warned.

  “Leave,” I demanded.

  “No, we should talk.”

  About what? His treatment of women? His cheating, shove his dick anywhere, way of life? “I said leave,” I grit between clenched teeth.

  “Bailee, look I’m sorry –”

  I cut him off. “Leave!” I screamed. “Leave me alone!”

  “Fine.” He spun on his heel and vacated the room, the haunted look in his eyes a little too close to regret.

  I sank to my knees once he was gone, pissed that he got the best of me again.

  Chapter 8

  Day 390, A.Z. –

  Where the hell was Razz? He’d been over every inch of the compound and couldn’t find him. They were supposed to meet half an hour ago. He was never late. Something must have happened.

  Sawyer began a slow methodical search of the compound room by room. Did some of the undead get inside? That seemed unlikely. He would have heard shots or people running around.

  That’s when he noticed the sound of something bangi
ng against the wall not far away. A consistent rhythmic sound that was disconcerting. Was it the damn closet? What the hell?

  Sawyer yanked on the closet door, pulling it open fast in the hopes he would startle whoever was inside. Bad idea. Razz had Charlotte pushed up against the wall. Thrusting into her hard and fast, her legs wrapped around his waist as she moaned his name, he held onto her hips. Hence the consistent sound of banging as they were oblivious to the noises they were making.

  Fucking hell.

  Why the closet? There were rooms all over the compound.

  He shut the door and spun on his heel, unable to walk fast enough away. It wasn’t that he cared about the two of them. Razz and Charlotte had been going at it like sex-crazed adolescents since the day they met. The two rarely kept their hands off each other. Drove Tonya crazy. Nobody else cared.

  Neither did Sawyer until this moment.

  He needed laid, bad, but for the first time in years he didn’t want a quick fuck.

  Sawyer ran his hand through his hair, agitated. In his room he paced, unable to get the image out of his head. It wasn’t Razz and Charlotte he kept picturing. It was the fantasy of Bailee in his arms that he couldn’t dismiss. Man, all he wanted to do was find her and end this feud between them.

  Too much sexual tension.

  That was the main issue.

  However, the largest problem remained the fact that there was no one else he wanted to take that sexual frustration out with other than Bailee. And boy was she pissed at him. He’d likely never get her to forgive him now and he deserved her spiteful attitude. He behaved like an asshole as if he didn’t care about her at all. His reasons were bullshit. Now, he was paying the price.

  For the first time in his life, Sawyer actually felt bad about something he had done.

  Holy shit.

  Since when did he develop a fucking conscience?

  DAY 391, A.Z. –

  I was exhausted. Today was another long day of clearing homes in the Sierra Valley subdivision and gathering supplies. This was the last block and I was tempted to sit this one out while everyone else finished. Not wanting to appear weak in front of Sawyer and the others, I kept my mouth shut and followed behind the group.