He pauses, the line rife with tension. “Did he do anything else? Say anything else?”
I stop pacing. I look out the window and a part of me wishes I could just jump out of it. It would end the drama, the pain, the confusion.
“Yeah, he did. And I don’t know what to say to Crew.”
“What did he say?”
I laugh, my voice crackling with nervous energy. “It wasn’t as much what he said, Will . . .”
“Did he touch you, Jules? Did he do something to Ever?”
“Ever’s fine. She wasn’t in here most of the time . . .”
“Look, I’m going to need you to be really honest with me here. You’re gonna have to tell me what happened so I can help you.”
“I don’t want Crew to do something stupid,” I whisper, my hands starting to shake.
Will exhales, the sound of his breath rippling through the phone. “If Davidson touched you, Crew will go to prison. Fact as fuck.”
I sit on the sofa and bury my head in my free hand. I know Will is right. I can’t blame Crew for wanting to go after him. But I can’t let that happen. Not now.
“He pushed me against a wall, Will,” I blurt out. “He grabbed me . . . you know . . .”
“Imma fucking kill him myself, stupid motherfucker!”
“Will! Stop! Listen to you!” I cry. “I can’t tell Crew this if you are acting this way. I don’t want to lie to him, but what do I do?”
He mutters a string of profanities under his breath, the sound of something slamming against something else bursts through the background. Finally, he says, “We can’t tell him. We can’t. He’ll lose his head and probably shoot the cocksucker.”
“So I lie?”
“No,” he says, “you omit. You can tell him later, after the fight. But if you tell him now, his focus will be gone. Fighting is as much mental as it is physical and if he knows this, he’ll lose the fight even if he manages not to go to prison.”
“But—”
“No buts, Jules. If he gets pissed later, blame it on me. I’m going to the gym now to let Sal know if he hasn’t heard about it already. I’ll break it to Crew that he was there so you don’t have to. But do not tell him the rest.”
“Are you sure?”
“No,” he laughs. I hear a door shut and a car engine start. “But I think this is our only option.”
“Thanks, Will.”
“Thank me later. Pray for me now that Crew doesn’t kill me for being the messenger.”
CREW
I finish my round with Victor in the ring. This is the last time we’ll spar before the fight.
“Hey, man,” he says, sticking his glove out. I knock it with mine. “Good luck this weekend. You’re ready.”
“Thanks,” I say, climbing over the rope. I take my gloves off and toss them on the floor. I search for Sal, who’s strangely missing from the gym. I turn the corner to his office and see him sitting at his desk, Will across from it.
I lean against the door frame and watch them. I know something’s going on. I see it on their faces. I feel it in my stomach.
Sal glances at Will and nods. He leans back in his chair and rubs his temple.
“What are you doing here?” I ask Will.
“How was training?”
“Shut up and tell me why you’re here.”
He looks to Sal one more time before pulling his phone out of his pocket. “Sal called me in here to talk about some stuff.”
“What do the two of you need to talk about?”
“Have you heard from Jules today?” Will asks, narrowing his eyes.
“No. I just checked my phone before I got in the ring with Victor. Why? Is Everleigh okay?”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. She’s fine. They’re on their way home, actually.”
I breathe a little easier until I realize that not only has Will talked to Sal, but also to Julia.
Something’s fucking wrong.
“The NAFL called this evening,” Sal says, his chair rolling back as he stands. “Davidson donated a few thousand dollars to your niece’s care today and they wanted to know if you wanted to make a statement.”
“He did what?”
Sal shrugs. “It’s a publicity stunt, gets him bonus points with some of the fans. I think his camp was a little taken aback by how many people are rooting for you in this fight. So this just makes him look a little better in the press.”
“Fuck him,” I say, still not sure I have the whole story. There’s a bubble of uneasiness sitting in my stomach, threatening to burst.
“They’ve got this press release coming out about how generous he is, a modern day Robin Hood or some shit. They’re spinning this whole thing and making him a saint. It’s disgusting. I don’t know how you want to respond,” Sal says calmly, but I sense the uneasiness in his voice.
“What else?” I look between them, waiting for someone to start saying the things they aren’t saying.
“What else what?” Will asks, not looking me in the eye.
“What else is going on? I’m not fucking stupid.” I look at Sal. “Someone better talk.”
Will jams his hands in his pockets. It’s his nervous tick, the unconscious thing he does when he’s uncomfortable. I’ve seen it a million times.
“Look, Crew . . .” Will blows out a breath before looking back at me. “Davidson showed up at the hospital today . . .”
“He did what?” I imagine him in the room with my girls, breathing the same air, his poison tainting the only pure thing I have. I can’t handle it. I’m going to fucking kill him. “He showed up to the hospital? Did he talk to them? Did he hurt them? Did he—”
“Calm down,” Sal says, his voice riding over mine. “Will talked to Julia and they’re fine. They’re on their way home, like he said.”
My head snaps to Will. “You swear to me they’re okay?”
He nods. “They’re okay. I called Jules and she said Davidson was there but she was fine. She didn’t know they were coming . . .”
“You know as well as I do that his little impromptu visit wasn’t a fucking publicity stunt. There was more to it. There always is with that bastard,” I say, looking at Sal. “If he even breathed on her, I’m going to rip his heart out and feed it to him. There will be no fight in the cage because I’ll kill that motherfucker now.”
“You’re going to stick to the game plan, that’s what you’re gonna do,” Sal says, marching across the room. “You are going to get your head straight and fucking remember what we’ve been training for. He’s fucking with you and you’re playing right into his hands by letting him get in your head.”
“He—” “
“Do you want to win this fight or not?” he booms. “Do you want to win and save your niece’s life or do you want to have a pissing match with this chump? Huh? Answer me, damn it, because I can guarantee which way he’d rather have this go!”
I glare at him and he steps within inches of my face.
“Answer me!”
“I’m gonna fucking win!” I shout but Sal doesn’t flinch. “I’m gonna fucking win,” I say quieter this time. “But God help me . . .”
“God doesn’t help you win fights, Crew. That’s up to you.”
CREW
My foot is heavy on the accelerator. It feels like I’m barely moving, but I’m probably going way too fast . . . if I cared. And I don’t.
With every passing mile, I don’t feel any less like wanting to explode. The idea of that asshole with Jules and Ever . . .
I pound my palm off the steering wheel.
Fuck!
This little stunt isn’t just about me and him; this is about him being near them.
I’ve seen a lot of worthless pieces of shit in my day, but Hunter beats them all. He was a wrestling standout at Iowa but has never won a match playing fair in his life. He talks all kinds of trash, gets into ridiculous situations and uses his parent’s money and father’s position on Wall Street to get him out of every predic
ament he’s ever been in. He’s a Five Alarm Fuck-Up, one that should never have been allowed to get near my girls.
I have Sal calling around to see who let them in and to make sure it doesn’t happen again. Somebody’s head better roll or I’ll cut it off.
“Fuck!” I shout, my voice sounding over the lyrics of Nine Inch Nails. I flip the radio off and steer the truck onto my road. My gut twists as my house comes into view, Jules’ car parked in the driveway. It looks completely normal and that pisses me off. I’ve just had the sanctity of my private life literally touched by the fucking devil and everything looks like the image of a perfect life from out here.
I park the truck beside her car and get out. Before I get to the door, it opens and Jules comes out. Her eyes are wide and I know she’s been crying. She runs to me and leaps into my arms, wrapping her arms around my neck.
She presses her face against my chest and I’m taken aback.I wrap her up in my arms and lean against the truck. I feel her body tremble,
I run my hands over her body, grasping, molding. I’m not sure what for, but it gives me some peace of mind that she’s okay.
“Are you all right?” I ask, kissing the top of her head.
“Yes. We are all right.”
“What the fuck happened today?” I hear the anger in my voice, even though I don’t mean to sound mad. I don’t know what happened in there for sure and I don’t want to make assumptions. I know he was there and she didn’t call me.
She sniffles and wipes her face with my shirt. I just watch her and try to keep my mouth shut before I lose my cool.
She looks at the ground and I see her struggle with the words she wants to say. She’s biting her lip and I reach down and remove it from between her teeth.
“Jules . . .”
“We were sitting there and they just walked in.”
“They just showed up? Who are they? And who let them in?”
“Hunter and a guy named Jason Drake,” she says, her voice soft. “I didn’t know who they were, Crew. I’ve been so busy with Ever that I never bothered to even look up who Hunter was or what he looked like.”
Tears start to fill her eyes and I pull her to me again. I look at the sky and watch the clouds float by. I try to find some calming effect in them, try to tone myself down a couple of notches. “Tell me what happened.”
“They said they were with the NAFL and that they had a check. They gave it to me and. . . . and then they left.”
I lean back and look at her face. I know she’s lying. “That’s not all.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean he didn’t just give you a check and leave. That’s not how he operates, Jules.”
“Well,” she says, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear, “I’m fine. Ever’s fine.”
“You’re fine,” I say, tilting her chin so she’s looking at me. “But are you okay? Two different things.”
“Yeah,” she breathes, resting her cheek against my shirt. “We are okay.”
I hold her tight. I struggle with wanting to just keep holding her, to ask her more questions, and to get inside to see Everleigh and make sure she’s okay, too.
“I’m gonna need to know what happened in there. What did he say to you? What did he do?”
“Well,” she says and takes a long pause that disturbs me, “he was an asshole.”
“Because . . .” I wait for a response but don’t get one. “Jules, I’m not a patient man. I’m trying really hard to stay calm and do things the right way, but you can’t pull this not talking bullshit.”
“I’m sorry. He just . . . he basically insinuated that I was some kind of whore.”
“He did what?” I roar, pulling her back so I can see into her face. “What the fuck did he say?”
My body is on alert, exactly how I feel when I’m ready to fight. Every sense is heightened, a viciousness barreling through my veins full speed ahead.
“He just said something about you and Gage passing me around or something.”
I move her backwards and start to open the door to my truck.
“Crew, stop!” She grabs my arm and tugs on it. “Just stop!”
I turn to look at her. Her tear-stricken face is pale, her eyes wide, the panic in them brimming. Even as beautiful as she is, even though I want to carry her inside and gather her and Ever in my arms, I can’t. Not now. Not yet.
“You think he’s gonna say that shit to you, that he’s gonna walk into Ever’s fucking hospital room, and I’m gonna let that slide? Think again, Jules.”
“That’s exactly what he wants you to do! He wants you to lose your head and find him. Cause a scene. Maybe get the fight stopped because you are some kind of hothead. That’ll clear his record, win him fans, and you lose . . . in every sense of the word.”
I drop my hand from the door.
In every sense of the word.
“Fuck!” I shout, garnering the attention of the neighbor lady out getting her mail. I know she’s right and I hate it. He’s put me in a position where I can’t do anything because if I do, I lose the fight, the money . . . everything that matters to me.
I watch her silently implore me to stay calm, to fight the fight that needs fighting . . . and that isn’t a brawl with Hunter for being a cocksucker today. It’s the fight for Ever. For her. For our family.
I wrap my arms around her and pull her tightly against me. I can feel relief leave her body.
“Did he hurt you? Did he scare Ever?” I mumble, my face buried in her hair. I let her scent wash over me, use it to help me calm down.
“No, nothing like that. Ever was sleeping and then out for testing most of the time. He just tried to intimidate me, you know? I know he wanted me to panic and call you, but I’m not giving him any victories over you today.”
She smiles sadly and my anger starts to dissipate.
“You should’ve called me,” I groan. “Call me next time. You have to promise me you’ll call me the next time you’re in a position like that.”
She lays a soft kiss to the center of my chest. “I promise. I love you, Crew.”
I’ll never get used to her saying that. I’ll never get tired of hearing those words come out of her mouth.
“Don’t let him get in your head. That’s what he wants. The easy win.”
“You’re more of a fighter than me,” I laugh.
“I don’t want to think about this all night. I don’t want that asshole impacting our time together.”
“Tomorrow I have to get up early and go through the last minute stuff with Sal. Then I have a few things I need to take care of.” I squeeze my eyes shut. “But tonight, I want to go inside and watch cartoons or whatever Ever wants to do. I want to curl up next to you in my bed and forget the world.”
She looks at me, her eyes full of the same love I know she sees in mine. “Let’s do that.”
JULIA
I check on Ever and she’s sleeping peacefully. She had a rough day but is all cuddled in her bed, her face smooth and without pain. She has no idea that our world is going to shift, good or bad, in the next few days.
We watched cartoons tonight just like Crew said. We stretched out on the couch and just relaxed as best as we could. Ever laid on Crew’s chest and the sight of the two of them just about broke my heart.
If Crew wins his fight the day after tomorrow, Ever will start her treatment the following Monday. It’s the best case scenario.
If Crew loses and something goes wrong, I could be set up to lose them both.
I push it out of my mind. I can’t go there. It’s the first time in my life that I refuse to make plans, to consider the future. But I can’t. I can’t fathom losing either of them on top of having lost Gage, let alone the possibility of both of them.
There are so many things fighting for a spot in my brain.
What will happen if Ever gets the treatment? What if she doesn’t? What if Crew wins? What if he doesn’t? What if he gets hurt? Is it right to even let h
im do this? Am I right to let him make his own choice about it?
Am I wrong to not tell him I’m pregnant?
My hand goes flat against my stomach. I’ve only known for a couple of days. It’s still so early, I’m just a few weeks along, and I lost a baby before and after Everleigh. There’s no guarantee I won’t miscarry this one. There never is a guarantee, of course, but I don’t want to announce it and then have to explain that something’s happened.
I know, too, that Crew has been worried sick about me on top of Everleigh and his fight. I don’t want to add more pressure to him. A part of me thinks maybe I should tell him. He deserves to know before he fights. A part of me thinks I shouldn’t tell him, that it’ll only distract him. That he will fight anyway and this will be in the back of his mind and take his focus off the fight.
I’m torn. This is yet another thing for me to worry about. Although, at the end of the day, it’s given me something to smile about in the midst of the madness. So many moments I just close my eyes and imagine us playing, as a family, together at the beach. Ever’s hair blowing in the breeze, her giggle riding on top of the sound of waves crashing. A baby chasing her, its little feet imprinting in the sand behind her, while I sit with Crew and watch.
I slip out the door and down the hallway. I open the door to Crew’s room. I haven’t slept in here yet. It’s not that I’ve been against it like I was before, but we’ve been home so infrequently. And the nights that we have, Crew’s came in and fallen asleep while I’ve been caring for Ever and I don’t want to wake him or Ever has wanted me to lay with her because of her nightmares.
He’s lying on top of his sheets, his eyes closed. A white t-shirt is stretched over his torso, hinting of the lines of his chiseled stomach. He has on dark blue boxer briefs, the color of his eyes when he’s worked up. I could just stand and watch him like this forever. He seems so peaceful, so carefree, which are two things he isn’t in his real life very much. I wish I could give him those things every day.
Maybe, when this is behind us, I can.
I close the door and lock it behind me. I pad to the bed and slip in next to him. He rolls immediately to face me, his blue eyes popping open and seeing into my soul. We gaze at each other’s exhausted, familiar faces and appreciate the peace in the air.
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