Fantasies of a Housewife

by Tina Pollick

  Sharon sighed, rubbing her forehead as the stress mounted into utter exhaustion. “I don’t like them either, hunny. And just ignore her, she was jealous.”

  “Why would she be jealous though? She has her own flower dress that she wore last week.”

  “I don’t know, maybe she thinks that yours looks better.”

  Crystal glanced out the window, her expression clouded as she murmured a soft, “Oh, okay…” The silence that settled was thick with tension. Both of them were too raw with emotions and busy sorting through what should just be brushed off.

  Sharon turned left at the light, signaling shortly after to turn into a Dairy Queen parking lot. “How about some ice cream?”

  Crystal grinned ear to ear, her blue eyes dancing with delight. “Yes!!” she cheered, bouncing in her seat.

  Sharon chuckled softly, “Alright, you know the rule. Don’t tell daddy.”

  “Don’t worry, I won’t.”

  Getting rid of the unwanted guests took a full week of hard work. When the job was finally done, and the school went through their embarrassing black light ritual to clear Crystal, Sharon breathed a sigh of relief; her breath curling white in the frozen temperatures. She wandered back into the long narrow parking lot to go home and vacuum the floors – again - for good measure when, lo and behold, skinny-mini walked up with a triumphant smile. Sharon pressed her lips together, tugging her large coat closer to her chest to keep the chilly Michigan breeze out as Julia skipped forward. She was wearing some faux fur jacket with skinny jeans for her mile long legs and high heels to boost her tall form up another six inches. She probably stood at 6’2 right now, with those annoying cherry red lips curved into a smile.

  “Hey! Good to see you back, we all missed you. Did you finally get rid of the bugs- again? Hope it actually worked this time. You know, I Googled some lice treatments to help you out in case this ever happened again. Maybe it will work better.” She greeted cheerfully while fishing around in her large pockets.

  Sharon gave her a tight smile as Julia handed over a folded piece of paper. “Haha, wow, thank you Mrs. Dorsey, how completely thoughtful.” The happy tone sounded horribly false to her own ears, but it seemed to go over the bitch’s head as her smile grew.

  “Moms got to stick together.” She replied before wiggling her hips away. “Bye now, see you later!” she called with a wave that Sharon returned half-heartedly.

  “Come on karma, shouldn’t you be doing something to her by now?” she cursed, stomping off to the old minivan parked right next to a shiny, new Escalade…

  An idea toyed in the back of her mind as she slid in the driver’s seat. It would be a shame if someone accidently smashed into Julia’s new car and drove off… She chuckled softly, picturing her reaction to the damage. “MY CAR!” Julia would shriek, her hands going into that straightened blond bob. “WHAT HAPPENED TO MY CAR?!” As enticing at it was, with no other cars around, it would be too obvious who had done the damage. And with school still in session, she couldn’t risk a ticket and jacked up insurance rates. “Would be nice, though…” she murmured with a sigh, her own lips curving up as she replayed the fantasy over and over on the drive home.

  The Scholastic book fair was a huge end of the year event that gave parents one last opportunity to help fund the school by buying books for their children for summer reading. Of course, help was asked for, and Crystal turned those puppy dog eyes onto her mother as she held up the sign up form. It was a sure fire way to overprice literature for guilty parents who couldn’t keep their kids on a leash, or to show off the wads of cash their husbands made by buying only the best new hardcover’s of the hottest authors for their precious children. This meant, of course, Crystal would be going to the fair with only ten dollars and the ugly patronizing looks from the skinny-mini gang would haunt both of them until it was over. But what could be done? Caleb only worked one job at a factory for five days a week. Not everyone could have an all-star job; and while Sharon would try to get a job of her own, her and her husband agreed that time spent with Crystal while she was growing up was more important than a life of luxury.

  Three days of donating her time for an underfunded public school with groups of rowdy kids filtering in and out before and after lunch period… The bright side would be seeing her princess before school got out and protecting her for a half hour from the Dorsey’s cruel taunts- and anyone else stupid enough to try and get under Crystal’s sensitive skin. She sighed, running a hand through her curly blond hair. “Alright baby, I’ll volunteer. This is the last event for the year after all… It is, isn’t it?” she asked with a raised eyebrow.

  Crystal giggled, putting the yellow sheet on the table with a blue pen to be signed. “Yeah, I think so anyway.” Sharon nodded as she scribbled her name across the designated lines, and filled in her email so the school board could contact her later. “Alright, it’s done.”

  “Thank you so much!” Crystal cried, throwing her arms around her mother’s waist in a tight embrace. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Sharon laughed, hugging her daughter back.

  “Geez, you would think I’m taking you to Disneyland with that sort of reaction,” she teased.

  “Even better, you’re protecting me from Jessica’s name calling for a few days.”

  That struck her heart painfully. “I’m sorry baby; they will get theirs one day. Bad people always get theirs eventually.”

  The event was a nightmare as expected. Sharon arrived in blue jeans and a plain, green, scoop neck shirt at nine a.m. with a Coke and bagged lunch in hand. She made her way down the blue and white polished halls of the elementary school to the gym, after signing her name on a sheet of paper in the front office, and donning a plain name tag with her name scribbled on it in black marker. The mobile steel bookshelves were already set up in a half circle with a small selection of books ranging from pre-k to fifth grade reading levels. One round table sat in the middle with sticker and world record books laying nicely on the surface, and a long grey table sat off to the side with several folding chairs set up behind it. The cash register was sitting on the end, but had yet to be plugged in or unlocked for use, and a pad of paper was left out with a cup of pens with funny toppers labeled for sale. It was a rip-off, the same pens could be found at Wal-Mart for a dollar. But I guess the school has to make a profit somehow, she thought with a small frown. The rest of the moms had yet to arrive, giving her a moment to sit down and sip her cold drink. Caffeine in the morning helped make her a decent person for the rest of the day.

  Just as she recapped her soda, the high pitched laughs of the skinny-mini gang bounced around the room. They entered, wearing tight clothes and high heels, all shaking their hips around as they walked. If any of them thought it was attractive, they were sorely mistaken. Sharon shook her head, her ponytail waving back and forth, lightly brushing the back of her neck. Julia paused, scanning the set up before setting her evil gaze onto Sharon. She grinned, “Oh heyyyy, we were just talking about you!”

  There’s a surprise, she thought grimly, plastering on an equally fake smile. “All good things, I hope.” she joked.

  Julia’s expression faltered into a look of pure confusion for a moment before that plastic happy grin took over again. “You are so funny! Isn’t she funny?” she asked her gang, who all twittered in agreement. Sharon mentally rolled her eyes as she slid her lunch underneath the table. Julia paused, eyeing her attire before flicking her wrist and gasping. “I love your shirt! Very second hand chic,” she paused, looking back at her gaggle of friends. “Don’t you all agree?” They giggled and shrieked out agreements before moving to sit behind the table. Sharon gritted her teeth, curling her hands tightly on her lap to refrain from punching the stuck up woman.

  To make the morning even better, the first class that came in was a bunch of over-rambunctious kids who wanted to climb on the bookshelves, not browse them. Go figure, the teacher went missing within the first five minutes, leaving Sharon and the skinny minis to round
them up and try to help everyone pick out a book. The whole process made her uncomfortable. The skinnies talked the kids into buying something stupid that took up their whole budget, and expected every kid to leave without any cash. Sharon would try to get the kids something they preferred, but if the small selection didn’t have it, she wouldn’t push the issue. Wouldn’t that just steer kids away from reading anyway, and waste their parent’s hard earned cash? But the pressure to sell, sell, sell, started to wear on her as the day pressed on. Hearing the bell ring for lunch never sounded so beautiful. Julia led her gang out so they could eat some gourmet salads at the new restaurant up the road, leaving Sharon to nibble on a bologna sandwich by herself. It was squishy, but the meal couldn’t have been more perfect, unless her princess had been there to dine with her.

  The next group came in an hour later, taking Sharon by surprise. The perfect bimbos had yet to return, probably making fun of their poor waiter, so she was left on her own. The teacher disappeared yet again, and the kids took the opportunity to run wild around the closed off space. It was every mother’s worst dream recognized. Technically she couldn’t discipline the kids for misbehaving, which they knew and it only fed into their bad behavior, but not doing a damn thing was pushing her past her limits. It made her want to rip her hair out and scream. Books were thrown across the checkered blue and white tiles without a care and their voices rose to an unbearable pitch, tossing Sharon into the land of no return. “ENOUGH! I SWEAR IF YOU ALL DON’T SIT ON THIS FLOOR RIGHT NOW I WILL GO AND GET THE PRINCIPAL!”

  The threat worked, and slowly the kids walked around to the designated sitting area and quietly waited to be further addressed. She let out a sigh of relief and turned to them with a bright smile. “Good, now when I point to you, you’re going to follow me around the shop and browse the books. If you don’t find something you like, that is fine. I’m sure your parents can take you to a real bookstore some other time.”

  It didn’t take long for word to spread about Crystal’s mean mom, but every kid that came her way treated her with respect. Or fear. Probably a bit of both. After the fair was cleaned up for the day, Sharon went down the hall to the classroom. Crystal skipped up to her. “Ready to go home, momma?”

  “You know it hun.” Crystal grinned as they made their way to the cramped parking lot. The design was awful, and it was shocking to hear nobody had been in an accident trying to leave the narrow lot in years.

  “Guess what I heard today?” her daughter giggled, putting more bounce into her step.

  “What was that?”

  “I have the meanest mommy around, and nobody wants to mess with me ‘cause their afraid you’re going to spank them!”

  Well, at least there was one bright side to the whole mess…

  There was one month left in the school year, and everyone must have been counting the days down. Sharon especially; she had her special calendar hanging up on the fridge with a big yellow magnet to cross off each day until summer vacation hit. The weekends were crossed off in blue, and the school days almost violently scribbled over in pink. Mondays seemed a little less dreadful when everything was nearing the end, for a few months, at least. Crystal wanted to throw an end of the school year party with some of her friends. It sounded like a lovely idea and they all decided to break out the grill for the occasion, and even decorate in a tacky tourist theme. The invites were in the making, with the little RSVP time set as the last day of school- so they had an approximate number of guests for the weekend after.

  The excitement had them buzzing that morning, running through the routine of packing up and downing breakfast before heading out on the short car ride. With bright smiles on their faces, even Julia standing in the parking lot with her group of skinnies couldn’t rain on their parade. “Mom, can we have the invitations finished by tomorrow? Aly’s mom wants a month notice so she can plan around it.” Crystal asked, gripping the door’s handle tightly. Sharon looked back at her with a smile.

  “Of course, baby, I will work on them some more when I get home.” Crystal beamed back at her, popping the door open and jumping out of the van. She slammed it shut and waved over her shoulder as she jogged to her class’s line outside the main door. God they grow up fast, Sharon thought with a slight shake of her head.

  True to her word, Sharon picked up where they left off as soon as she stepped in the living room. The table was filled with pieces of paper, glitter, stamps, and markers. It would have been easier to use the computer and simply print a bunch of identical invites out, but Crystal wanted her party to stand out from the others. So, unable to disagree, Sharon had stopped by the craft store and they began this long project. The backgrounds of the cards were blue, with alternating scenes of glittery green palm trees and suns to floral designs with various hats stamped on. The information was written in black marker with a ruler to keep the lines even. Unfortunately her daughter forgot to say how many invites were needed for her friends, so Sharon was stuck guessing as she cut and glued. It was safe to bet that with thirty kids in her class, and two of them belonging to the skinny minis, she would only need twenty eight on hand. Sharon paused with a frown. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. Sure, she knew a couple of parents and they were unfazed by the incident, but the rest of them were likely uncomfortable with their kid being around anyone who had dealt with lice recently.

  Time flew by as she continued to steadily work and fight her inner war. Her phone’s alarm went off, startling the silence that had consumed her. She flinched, digging in the pocket of her jeans to yank it out and shut off the alarm. “Joy.” she sighed, rubbing her forehead warily. It was that time again. She finished the last card and set the supplies aside before pushing her feet into some blue loafers and snatching up the van keys. The parking lot was crammed as always, making the task of finding a space sheer chaos. As usual, Sharon parked near the very end and trudged her way up the long sidewalk to the main doors of the school, where the flock of parents stood waiting. Several of them casted wary glances in her direction, turning to whisper something to the person next to them, or simply shifting around uncomfortably. She tried to act unaffected by it, but the stares where like a physical thing, pushing small needles into her skin. Yeah, the party would be difficult to pull off.

  Julia stood with her group a few feet to the left. They all looked pointedly at her, and then turned with a laugh. The ridicule was minimum, despite their haughty expressions, and by some force of a higher power, time actually cooperated with her and moved by quickly. The bell rang and the kids pushed through the double doors in their usual manner. Sharon fought her way through the crowd to locate Mrs. Osborn and her daughter, Crystal. She smiled as her baby skipped to her side. “Mrs. Osborn! I wanted to speak with you about the schools policy for party invitations.”

  “Well,” Mrs. Osborn began, pushing her hair out of her face with a free hand as Julia interrupted from behind them.

  “You can’t be serious!” she cackled. “Hey, who wants to go to the dirty, bug-infested house for a party?”

  Sharon clenched her teeth as the teacher casted a glare in skinny’s direction. “Mrs. Hall, if you would like Crystal to pass them out on school property, there must be enough invites for the entire class.”

  Julia huffed, “Yeah, like any sane person would let their kids go there.” Sharon smiled tightly, turning to face the woman who was dressed ridiculously in skinny jeans, some bright pink top that barely covered her stomach, and three inch stilettos. “I don’t expect everyone to come, but the offer is still open. Are you having a party this summer too, Mrs. Dorsey?” For whatever reason, the woman turned bright red and stomped off without a final retort. Sharon raised an eyebrow but didn’t question her sudden run of luck as she turned back to the teacher. “Can she bring them in for the class tomorrow?”

  “Yes, she can pass them out after lunch.”

  Crystal was a little down after the snotty remarks made towards her mother. Her depressed attitude didn’t change no matter wha
t Sharon tried. Still, she insisted they finish the invites and see what would happen. A grim sort of determination followed Crystal the next morning as she marched toward her classmates. Jessica quickly began tormenting her, but from the view Sharon had in the van before she drove away, it looked like her little girl just brushed the attempts off and focused at the task at hand. It was a horrible feeling, wondering if she had let her daughter down somehow. If nobody showed up, it would devastate Crystal and probably follow her into the next year when she was forced to face the same group of judging kids again. But what could she do about it? Change schools maybe? The thought had a certain appeal and entertained Sharon on the drive home. Or, maybe she could try her hand at homeschooling? A lot of people were doing it nowadays. Put Crystal in an after school program like karate and she would have the social interaction she needed growing up until she got into high school. A small smile touched her face as she further contemplated the idea; because of course, if she did that, the skinny minis wouldn’t be a problem again…

  The last week of school was more hectic than the rest. Only three people called to say they would show up for the party, which made Crystal happy. Her friends would be there and after a few discussions about it, she held her head high knowing only people who really cared about her, and wanted to be around her, would show up for the fun.

  It was a warm Friday; making most of the parents drag out the horrid shorts and stand around in the blazing sun for the beginning of their weekend to start. Funny enough, Julia wasn’t around. Instead, a tall man with broad shoulders and khaki shorts stood in her usual place, holding hands with another man with dark hair and bright green eyes. They were talking nervously with one another as three o’clock neared.

  Sharon raised an eyebrow at the behavior- not because they were obviously gay, but because of their fidgeting stances and constant small arguments. The broad man also caught her eye for reasons beyond him. He had brown hair, but it was the eyes that had drawn her curiosity. He looked familiar but she couldn’t place it, until Julia came storming up the path. Her face was red as she pointed a finger at the man and demanded to know why he was there. His eyebrows shot up and he released the other man’s hands to throw both up in surrender. “You said I could have Jessica for the weekend, I want to leave immediately after school lets out. Why are you acting psychotic over it?”