Knowledge Hurts (The Nememiah Chronicles Book 3)

by D. S. Williams

  I rapidly applied sigils to my arms, horribly aware that the werewolves and shape shifters were fighting out there without them. There just wasn't time to get everyone marked and I cursed again, the lack of people able to use the weapons and Hjördis.

  In front of us, in the open fields surrounding Zaen, the ground erupted as demons starting to coalesce before us. The noise was horrendous as the newcomers screamed in terror, shape shifters howled, werewolves snarled and the demons shrieked above it all, an unearthly and eerie sound which echoed across the plain.

  “Alright, Charlotte. I have them secured,” Epi announced. He'd taken up a position on the outskirts of the new group and had created a number of markings on the dirt surrounding them.

  I released the spirits, watching them dissipate and return to my mind. Finishing the last sigils hastily on my skin, I was relieved to discover Conal had already marked himself and Nick with a couple of hastily drawn marks. “Ready?”

  Conal nodded grimly before he and Nick stepped away to transform, tearing off their t-shirts and throwing them to the ground before they shifted into wolf shape. With one last glance towards Lucas, I ran into the fray.

  Chapter 41: …of Death and Destruction

  It was worse, far worse than I'd ever anticipated. Even in my most terrible and darkest imaginings, I'd never dreamed it would be so horrific. This was nothing like training with Epi, nor was it like taking on a couple of demons and vampires, as we'd done only a few days ago.

  This was terrifying.

  Demons and youngling vampires were appearing everywhere on the ground and the noise was deafening. Shrieks, screams and yells sliced through the air, along with other sounds which I struggled to comprehend. The sounds of ripping, tearing - bodies slamming into bodies as we faced the enemy head on.

  No matter where I turned there was an adversary. And they continued to arrive, demons appearing through erupted fissures in the ground and the younglings from portals, their eyes crazed. Instinct kicked in and I utilized my powers, throwing spirit orbs at everything in line of sight, pulling the Katchet out to attack demons. There was no time to think, no way of selectively choosing who best to attack first. The only way of dealing with this massacre was to take on the enemy as they appeared.

  Epi's magic had already removed the huge metal cages and as I fought my way across the battlefield, the ground was awash in blood both black and red. I witnessed one of the werewolves eviscerated by a demon and there was nothing I could do. There was no time to tend to the wounded. I hurled a Philaris at one demon, hitting the massive creature's chest and then launched myself at it, sinking a Katchet into its broad torso.

  Jumping from the demon, I found Conal and Nick attacking a youngling as it headed towards me. With careful aim, I threw a spirit orb and the vampire crashed backwards, eyes lifeless when he hit the ground.

  There was no time to consider stopping for breath. Minutes passed rapidly - or was it hours? I was drenched with sweat, my clothing and skin soaked in demon blood. All I could do was attack, with little regard to what I was attacking, or what might be coming next. It was impossible to think further ahead than the next split-second. I hardened my heart against those of our own I saw killed, there was no time to mourn in this cacophony of battle.

  A huge vampire trapped me while I was dispatching a demon and gripped my neck. Judging by the sheer size of his body, the human had been a weightlifter before his creation. He squeezed my neck and I thrashed about trying to suck air into my lungs. Nick and Conal took a second to realize I was in trouble, they'd been attacking yet another vampire. The weightlifter holding on to me was tightening his grip and whilst he remained at my back, I could do little to save myself.

  Conal and Nick catapulted across the ground but before they could reach me, a blur of orange and black flew past and I heard a bloodcurdling roar. The grip around my neck abruptly loosened when the huge tiger ripped the weightlifter's head from his body. I stumbled forward, gasping air into my lungs as I indicated towards one of the more intimidating demons to Conal and Nick.

  We were losing. We were seriously outnumbered and although our side was battling valiantly, the ground was littered with the dead and injured. Anger was building in my heart, anger at the injustice of it all, fury at the loss of innocent lives. For just a moment, I stopped moving, realizing that fighting as we were was just not proving effective. Epi's words echoed through my mind and I knew I had to try a different tack.

  I slipped the Katchet onto my belt and centered on the spirits, requesting their aid. Concentrating hard, I drew the spirits one by one from my mind, watching as they formed before me and without delay, entered the battle. It took intense concentration to bring this many into our world, the exertion leaving me weak at the knees. Conal and Nick stopped fighting, sensing what I was attempting and began running interference around me, keeping the enemy at bay. I increased the number of spirits fighting on the battlefield one by one, my limbs trembling with exertion. I had no idea what they were doing, how they might be aiding in the fight - I couldn't risk losing concentration for even a second. All I was certain of was their presence - I knew they were attacking the enemy, standing side by side with our allies in this seemingly never-ending mêlée.

  I was relieved to glimpse Lucas and Ben, Ripley and William joining the circle of protection surrounding me and I closed my eyes, centering my efforts still further to keep the corporeal spirits fighting. Gently, and with infinite care, I created a mental divider in my mind.

  Satisfied that I still had control of the spirits who were fighting, I used the divided section of my mind to call additional spirits to my aid. I visualized the demons, watching their images form in my head and when I had them clearly pictured, I created a spirit orb and envisaged the demons captured inside it. I raised my arms shakily, straining with the effort and clenched my hands into fists. The fetid stench of demon wafted over me and my skin was awash with their blood.

  I repeated the same procedure for a second time. The noise and sounds dissipated, retreating from my mind as I intensified my efforts. The noise of the battlefield disappeared entirely until all I heard was the soft murmuring of voices in my mind. Encouraging me, those remaining in my head offered support and encouragement, providing details of the battle around me and counsel. My head ached colossally, but I kept my breathing steady, my concentration paramount to defeating the enemy.

  “Charlotte, Charlotte! It's over!” Lucas stood in front of me, his clothing and skin covered in dripping demon blood. Taking a deep breath, I watched as dozens of spirits disappeared in a swirl of white mist and my knees gave way. Lucas caught me in his arms, holding me tightly against him as I trembled uncontrollably.

  Conal sat on his haunches at my side and yelped, licking my cheek with his rough tongue. He looked relatively unharmed, other than a few cuts and scratches, there were no signs of major injury. Similarly, Nick had come through in good health, a minor gash on his front leg and his fur matted with demon blood the only signs of his involvement.

  “Are you alright?” Lucas was examining me carefully, searching for signs of injury. “Are you hurt?”

  I shook my head, incapable of forcing words from my lips. There was chaos all around us, bodies littered the ground, the soil dripping with blood. The Tines were walking around the battlefield, using Hjördis to treat the wounded. In the distance, people ran out through the gates, intent on finding their loved ones. Jerome limped out, his small staff carrying all manner of medical equipment whilst still more people brought stretchers to carry the injured inside.

  It was with sadness that I realized how easy it was to tell who'd lived and who'd died amongst the werewolves and shape-shifters. Those injured remained in animal form - either unconscious or yelping piteously. The deceased had reverted to human form, crumpled and naked on the hard dirt. The sounds of battle were replaced by a noise even worse - the sound of grief. Tears welled in my eyes and I inhaled a shuddering breath.

  I pushed away from
Lucas and walked off, unable to comprehend what I'd witnessed - unwilling to face it for a minute longer. Stumbling blindly, I left Lucas and the others, heading back to Zaen.

  Chapter 42: Cold, Hard Reality

  With my back resting against the wall, I watched the sun set on the horizon, casting long shadows across the wooden floor. I'd sat here for ages, thinking of everything and nothing, wishing I could remove the memories from my head.

  Peaceful and quiet, this room was one of the few places I'd found where I could relax and listen to the spirits without constant bombardment from the people surrounding me. I'd found it by accident, investigating the assembly hall one day, I'd followed a set of stairs which led to the chance discovery of this small area above the main rooms. There was no furniture, no indication of its past use - but it was ideal for me.

  When I'd first escaped up here after the battle, I'd curled into a fetal position on the floor, wrapping my arms tightly around my body to stop the shaking. Every nerve ending was screaming, every muscle trembling with terror. I couldn't do this. The recollection of what I'd seen filled me with abhorrence, my heart racing and sweat beading on my forehead as I recalled the images of the battlefield. Today I'd run on instinct. Now I'd seen what we were facing - the reality of our situation - I knew I couldn't do it again. Worse still, seeing people dying before my eyes. What if that happened to Lucas? Or Conal?

  The trembling gradually reduced and I pulled myself into a sitting position. I'd been staring off into space for hours, wondering how I could face anybody again. The thought of their pain, their anguish at losing loved ones - how could I possibly face them when I'd failed so miserably? Naïve and foolish, I'd promised I would protect them, thinking I could fight and win against the Consiliului. Today had exposed the impossibility of our mission. Their forces were too physically powerful, there were too many of them and they were going to annihilate us.

  And I was frightened of dying. Seeing the deaths of those people today - the thought of dying as they had made me nauseous. After trying so many times to commit suicide in my past, it seemed ridiculous to fear dying. But that had been different. Death at my own hand would have been a release, a way of ending the pain I endured. Peaceful.

  I studied my left arm, which still bore the faint scar from slicing it open, first to feed the Tines and again for Conal to drink my blood, to give him the abilities of Nememiah. Despite my upset, I smirked. For someone who'd found it impossible to slit her wrists, I'd grown to ignore the pain of cutting into my own skin.

  The smile died as the images of today's fight overwhelmed my thoughts again. Dying like those people today, surrounded by enemies - it had been violent and terrifying. How long had they lived, knowing there was no help coming? How long had they lain there, knowing they would die but unable to do anything to prevent it? How painful was that death?

  The sound of footsteps alerted me to their arrival. Lucas appeared first, followed by Conal, Ben, Epi and Matt. Lucas slid down the wall to sit on the floor beside me and Conal took the other side. Belying his age, Epi dropped nimbly onto the floor, sitting cross-legged and he was joined by Ben and Matt.

  “How did you find me?”

  Conal smirked. “I'm a werewolf and Lucas and Ben are vampires. It wasn't difficult. We followed the charming scent of demon blood.”

  I glanced down at my clothes, still completely soaked with drying blood. In comparison, they'd all showered and dressed in clean clothes and I wrinkled my nose in distaste. “Should have had a shower.”

  Conal grinned wryly. “Wouldn't have made any difference, Sugar. We would have followed your own scent instead.”

  I lapsed into silence, vaguely wondering what they were doing here. I wanted to be left alone, to wallow in depression and shock. Pulling my legs up, I wrapped my arms around them and rested my chin on my knees. I focused on the floor, hoping they would get the hint and leave me alone.

  “What you did, Child, it was remarkable,” Epi began sincerely. “You defeated an army of demons and younglings. We knew your skills were considerable, but you astounded even me.”

  “It wasn't enough.” And it hadn't been. People had died and I felt personally responsible for each and every person who'd lost their lives.

  “You did what you could. What you did do, saved many lives,” Ben responded.

  “How many died?” I snapped.

  “Fifty six,” Conal responded, catching my hand in his. “Sugar… Phelan Walker was one of them.”

  “I know,” I remarked quietly. “He's been giving me a pep talk for the past hour.”

  The pain in my heart amplified, thinking about Phelan's death. Despite our initially rocky start, we'd developed a strong friendship based on mutual respect. Phelan had accepted his death without misgiving, with no regret. He'd accepted it far better than I had. The incredible loss was overwhelming.

  “He was a good man, Sugar. He'll keep helping you through this.”

  “Through what? Watching you all die, one by one?” I shook my head dismally. “This is unwinnable. This time it was a hundred demons - what happens next time when it's a thousand? We lost fifty six people in our first battle. Twenty percent of our people are gone, instantly. It's impossible for us to win this.”

  Lucas slipped an arm around my shoulder. “Charlotte, it would have been much worse if you hadn't done what you did.” He caught the startled look in my eyes and seemed stunned. “You don't even know what you did, do you?”

  I shrugged. The entire events of the battle were a blur and when I'd been working with the spirits, all I'd been able to concentrate on was the effort taken to keep them cohesive.

  “You were incredible, Charlotte.” Matt spoke, his eyes filled with respect when he gazed at me.

  I looked up at him, confused, then glanced towards Epi with a frown creasing my forehead.

  “Charlotte, you fought the demons for over six hours. Not only did you bring dozens of the spirits into our world to fight our enemies, but you also simultaneously created spirit orbs that decimated the demons, sometimes three or four at a time.” Epi reached toward me, rubbing a hand awkwardly against my knee. “Child, you exceeded what I imagined you would be capable of.”

  “But people still died. We lost fifty six people, trying to get sixty people into Zaen,” I said dully. “I couldn't save them.”

  “We all know what we're facing, Charlotte. Nobody expected to get through this without casualties,” Ben responded softly. “And everyone out there today knew the risk they were taking, the possibility that people would die. You aren't responsible for their deaths – they chose to fight, knowing that what they were doing was for the good of their families, their Packs. Nobody expects you to be responsible for keeping everyone alive.”

  “Charlotte, this is a war. Death goes with the territory,” Matt stated matter-of-factly. “That doesn't make it easy – one of the toughest things anyone has to do is watch their friends die. And from what your friends here tell me, this is the first time you've gone into battle. It's understandable that you're feeling shell-shocked, doubting your abilities. Anyone who's ever had to fight in combat feels the same way, it's a natural reaction to the stresses of fighting a war.” A ghost of a smile lifted his lips. “I know it's no consolation, but I'm terrifically proud of you. You did a great job out there.”

  “You saw me?” I asked quietly.

  “Watched the whole thing. With my heart in my mouth, admittedly,” Matt said with a tight smile. “Clinton and I watched from the battlements. Thought maybe we could figure out some ways that we can help.”

  “Come up with anything?” I asked curiously.

  Matt nodded slowly, his voice cautious. “A couple of things. They're a work in progress.”

  “Charlotte, we have more people coming which will boost our numbers. This attack today, it was twenty four hours earlier than we'd expected,” Conal added. “Considering we had about five minutes warning, we did a pretty good job in difficult circumstances.”

 
“How do you know that they aren't going to attack over and over again?” I demanded. “This could happen every day. How are we going to get the new people into the city?”

  “We made a grave error in judgment by choosing to bring people to Zaen before they're marked,” Epi admitted. “We'll portal to them henceforth, do the markings and then portal directly into the city itself.”

  “We can't hide in here forever,” I argued.

  “No, we can't,” Lucas agreed gently. “But we can increase our numbers for next time. And today has given us the opportunity to locate our weaknesses, get a handle on exactly what the demons are capable of. Everything we have learned from today can be used to ensure we're better prepared for the next time.” He kissed my forehead. “We've all had to fight before, in one theatre of war or another. The very nature of what we are, means there are situations in which we've had to fight. Whether in a battle amongst our own kind or in a human war because we've got caught up in it, we've had to fight. You haven't. I know it's a terrible shock to see what a battle is like - and God knows I wish you hadn't needed to. But we can win this, Charlotte. I promise you, we will win.”

  I turned to Matt, regarding him seriously before I spoke. “You're the ex-marine, Matt. Do you think we can win?”

  Matt eyed me calmly. “Well, admittedly, this is a new type of warfare to what I'm used to. But yeah, I think we can. It's going to take a lot of work and I'm not going to lie to you, Charlotte. Other people are gonna die. But from what I've seen, these people are all dedicated to this cause. Your cause. Lucas is right - the first battle was always going to be the toughest. Now we've seen what the enemy are like, seen how they operate, we can work on finding their weaknesses. We have to ensure our people are trained to best handle the way the enemy fights. Work on strategies and tactics to find effective ways of defeating them.” He stood up, holding out his hand. “Now how about you come down with us and get cleaned up? And I've heard a few rumors about your perpetual appetite - seems to me after that, you must be starving.”