Unfriended: A Geek and Stud Romance (Love in New Highland Book 1)

by Deana Farrady

"Wait, what do you mean, me and Asher? What were you hoping?"

  She bumped me. "You know."

  "No, I'm sorry, I truly don't know."

  "Oh, well, naturally I always assumed the reason you two never started anything was that you were waiting for Asher to grow up. And so, when he told me he and Aura were through and then he started asking about you, well, then, naturally I assumed…you know…"

  "Started anything." I was dumbstruck. Or I think I mean parrot-struck. "Started anything."

  "Yeah, you know." She wiggled her brows, rather like Hunt had earlier.

  "Mel, you always said Asher's the equivalent of my brother."

  "Girl, of course I said that. Mama would have banned you from the house if she caught you looking at him sideways."

  "Yes, all right, okay, but when we were older—"

  "Oh, that was just the ick factor talking. My friend and my brother? Gross. And besides, you obviously couldn't deal. But come on, we're all grownups now and we both know what that boy can do. Don't tell me you don't want his mega—"

  "Ew, stop, stop, don't talk about him that way!"

  "Am I wrong? Am I wrong? Am I wrong?"

  I gave her my best shot at a cool look. But she was giving me her hard, penetrating stare, the one I really hated that was just like her mother's stare but without Erica's overlaying sweetness.

  "Come clean with Mama Mel. You want my little brother. You want him bad. You wantimwantimwantimwantim—"

  I covered her mouth with my hand. "Dammit, Mel, what if I did, huh? Would you seriously give me your blessing? Would Erica and Alfred? Huh? I was his babysitter! I remember getting smooched on their sofa by a sophomore while Ash and his buddies were outside with water pistols! You all trust me to take care of him. Like—like family, not like—like—you know!"

  She blinked at me.

  But I wasn't done. "I mean if I did happen to want him like you say or be, like, well, crazy in love with him—just hypothetically, I mean—like, insanely, helplessly in love with him—what good would it even do? Tell me that!"

  A minute of silence while the noise from the room barely penetrated, I was straining so hard to listen for her answer.

  She sighed loudly and wiped her hands. "Welp, that's it, then."

  "What? What's it?"

  "We had it wrong, we had it way, way wrong."

  "What do you mean? I mean—what do you mean? Who had it wrong?"

  She hoisted herself up, dusting off her pants. "The family. All of us, Doug, Winnow, Ry, Mom, Dad…hell, probably even Karl's been wondering when you guys would finally hook up. It's so obvious. But I guess we were all imagining things."

  I gaped at her, wordless.

  Mel shook her head sadly. "I see now we had it totally backwards. You weren't waiting for him to grow up at all. No, I do believe it was Asher who was waiting for you to grow up. I guess he'll be waiting forever. Because if you think all that counts is what we think…I guess I never realized what a wimp you were, way too wimpy for my brother, for sure…"

  Then she sauntered away, the wench…leaving me biting my lip so hard it bled.

  Asher

  I SHUT THE DOOR BEHIND ME. "Slipping out" doesn't apply when a female is giggling and clutching at one of your belt loops while you make your escape. But yeah, I finally freed myself like Han Solo out of that garbage compactor.

  Turns out Stage One is still a minor issue. Winnow hadn't lied. She'd filled the room with a smörgåsbord of luscious ladies. I'd like to say I was bored and unaffected, my cock a blasé thing of indifference.

  However, some things you're powerless to prevent. Dad tipped me off way back about the spread the seed, spread it wide primal instincts that'll fuck up a dude's life.

  The lesson was essentially this: Suck it up, buddy, because hard dicks don't hurt as bad as watching your woman cry. It was largely thanks to such advice that I never strayed from Aura.

  A number of the babes in the room I'd just left were in varying stages of undress. I'm not the guy who stares at tits in a strip club with his tongue hanging out. But if a sexy woman flirts with me, if I can smell her, my cock does recognize the invitation. Pretty much always.

  Yet I didn't flirt. I comported myself like a goddamn monk, playing pool, chatting with my cousins and and letting the rest go right over my head.

  You want the truth? I might have left that room semi-hard, but I didn't actually want to fuck any of them.

  Because my mind wasn't even in the room. It was set on hunting down Sloane. As women were tossing off their skirts, my mind was wandering. I saw myself sitting Sloane on my lap and whispering dirty things in her ear. I'd lift up her dress and fuck her fast and hard until she yelled. And right at the peak of her orgasm, I'd whisper the joke one of my cousins had just told me:

  What does Farmer Joe do when he can't decide whether to plow a blonde or a brunette? Answer: He gets the combine.

  On second thought, maybe I wouldn't tell her that one.

  Although the resultant wrestle might end well.

  On third thought, no. Because as I walked down the little hall and faced the room where everybody was gathered, I observed shit hitting the fan.

  CHAPTER 32

  Three Years Ago—Really Real

  Charis: If you found yourself hanging at a party with Galileo Galilee, Claudius Ptolemy, and Werner Heisenberg, which one would you rather play a drinking game with? And why?

  Asher: None of the above. None of those people spoke English.

  Charis: Excuse me, I wasn't done. I was gonna add, um, there's a Babel fish in your ear to translate.

  Asher: Ah. I guess I'd go with Heisenberg on principle then. Get it? Get it? Uncertainty Principle? Get it?

  Charis: Lame. You want to know who I'd pick?

  Asher: Sure, but first I have a question for you.

  Charis: Well?

  Asher: Have you ever played a drinking game in your life? It doesn't seem your thing.

  Charis: Of course not. I have no head for alcohol, you know that. And I hate losing.

  Asher: So let me get this straight. If you were a hypothetical drinker who hypothetically were to play a drinking game you'd be sure to lose with people who hypothetically knew each other who could hypothetically communicate with each other, you'd have a definite choice among them. Speaking hypothetically.

  Charis: I can be hypothetical if I want. I have a right.

  Asher: But can you be real?

  Charis: I am real. Hypothetically.

  Charis

  SO IT HAPPENED. THE WORST possible scenario happened. Mel had guessed everything. Sort of. Leaving me bludgeoned on the head with her truths.

  I wandered out and gazed around frantically. I kinda needed to see Asher's face right now.

  Damn. Still not back.

  I could barge into that room and wade through the nude harem to get to him. Theoretically.

  He's mine, bitches! Give him up!

  Yeah, no.

  Operating on the universal principle of food-fixes-all, I made a beeline for the snack table and was cramming my face full of kimchi and bulgogi (Shona's half Korean and loves me, too) when all at once I became aware of the sudden silence.

  I looked up to find Aura and Elianna engaged—as in, getting into it—in the middle of Winnow's living room.

  Someone had turned down the music and people were taking seats to watch, like this was a football game. Karl had already sprawled out on one of the poofy chairs with his hands hooked behind his head. He waved to me. I waved back, pretty much frozen in place. I'd never actually observed a catfight. Neither contestant had come to physical blows yet, but…

  "I definitely heard he's a runner," Elianna was saying aggressively.

  "Actually, no," Aura snarled.

  (This is not hyperbole, I swear. We're talking venom injected into perfectly innocuous words. Truly fascinating.)

  "I'm sure I remember seeing his times. Doesn't he hold a record for the 3200 meter?"

  "Asher's in
to squash and soccer. He never ran track in all the years we dated."

  "Oh, that's right, you went together. You broke up why again?"

  So that was when Aura asked sharply how long it had been since Elianna's divorce, and Elianna asked what made her think she was divorced, and Aura said, "Oh, you just have the look."

  And that was just the warm-up, okay?

  Next up:

  I just love your hair. I can't see any gray at all. What do you use?

  Yours looks almost natural, too. Oh, my mistake, it's the same color as all your facial hair…

  Then came the age shots, bang, bang, bang.

  Followed by:

  I wish I could eat gobs and gobs of fat like that, but I care about my body.

  You know, I would never have guessed that.

  I was awed. These people were masters. I mean, I could not look away—truth, my eyes would have snapped out of their sockets. Especially when it got physical. What began with so-called-friendly hip bumping soon led to one of them yelping, "Hey, ouch," and then it was all over and things got real.

  "Whoa, mama." I glanced around to find Joel had joined me, shaking his head. "This takes me right back to high school. Those were the days. Oomph." His wince was comical.

  I turned back my attention just in time to see Elianna's head jerk to the side and Aura's hand in the downswing.

  "She didn't," I gasped.

  "Oh, yes, she did," Joel smirked.

  By now Karl had heaved to his feet and was drawing Aura away. Looking astonishingly cool—does that guy ever get riled?—he murmured to her and motioned to Winnow, who then sprang forward to claim Elianna, even as Aura shouted: "Why should I care what a ho that can't get a man says to me?"

  "Oh, fuck," I breathed, as Joel said, "Isn't that a contradiction in terms?"

  A thought occurred to me. "Did you know female gladiators fought topless for Emperor Domitian? Dude was a real ass. It was all by torchlight, too. I think he got off on it."

  "No kidding," Joel said, laughing.

  Elianna broke away from Winnow. "At least I know how to stand upright without hanging onto a man's arm!"

  And then they were grappling again with Karl trying to swing Aura away and Elianna chasing her.

  And seriously, these two weren't playing. They kept coming at each other, and I'm pretty sure I saw some clumps of hair go flying. Elianna actually got in a punch or two, while Aura kicked out with her free leg and knocked Elianna down, screaming, "Try standing upright now, bitch."

  I think the whole thing only lasted a couple of minutes, but by the time they were effectively separated, they looked like…well, like the female gladiators I'd just referenced.

  "You two, come on, take it easy," Nate was saying. By now they'd backed off and were restoring their clothing, but they still hadn't stopped mouthing off.

  I have to admit, the whole scene left me kinda shell-shocked. Maybe that's why it took me a moment to register it when my name came up.

  Elianna had just thrown out, "These days men are optional, missie."

  Aura's reply: "Oh, yeah? Then maybe you want to join the other cat ladies, like Charis over there."

  Elianna responded to that, but I didn't hear it.

  Because—what?

  Me? Cat lady?

  "…don't talk to me about respect, go talk to Charis, she has no career, no life, and no man…"

  Wait, again, me?

  No career? No life?

  Winnow called, "Stop talking smack about Charis, Aura."

  "Charis has a career," Mel piped up. "Don't you?"

  My mouth flapped open. I really hadn't expected to be drawn into this fight. "Uh, well, yeah…"

  "And not everyone needs a man, you know," someone else said, I don't even know who it was. "Some people just like to go it alone in life. That doesn't make them a cat lady."

  "Yo, Charis works in a science lab, hey?" That was Doug.

  "Charis isn't a scientist, bird-brain, she's a historian," Mel said.

  "I thought she studied twelfth century Persian literature," said Janet, a neighbor I believe.

  "Now, now, you kids." This was Erica. "Charis will do whatever she wants. Won't you, dear?"

  I blinked at her and nodded.

  "Are you really a cat lady?" I looked down. A munchkin had escaped confinement and was now gazing up at me. "How do you get the smell out of your clothes?"

  Oh, for crap's sake.

  I shouted, "I am not a cat lady!"

  Which made me the focus of the entire room. I groaned.

  Then Elianna and Aura started to lunge at each other again, reclaiming everyone's attention.

  Karl had settled his fiancée in his lap, but Aura still had use of her legs. As for the three guys holding onto Elianna—um, well, I'm not sure they were there to restrain her. She definitely had no trouble getting to Aura.

  But at that point I stopped attending, because I'd just spotted Asher across the room.

  He'd walked in silently sometime during the fracas. He was shirtless, carrying his shirt bunched up in his hands. His jeans clung to his hips and thighs. One lock of black hair curled on his forehead, giving him this superhero mojo. Did I mention how tall he seemed? Or that his chest—

  Sorry, sorry. It's easy to get distracted when Asher walks into a room. The point is, he was there. I raised my hand. He didn't see me. He was too busy witnessing his ex-girlfriend tussling with his blind date and shaking his head in exasperation.

  "People!" Winnow yelled. "Is everyone here? Get Asher—someone get Asher—oh, there you are. Where's everyone else? We're about to sing Happy Birthday. Hunt, where are you? Girls, calm down! Will somebody please—thank you, Karl, finally," as Karl picked up Aura and strolled with her out of the room.

  Actually, out of the house.

  Which was kind of a relief. I mean, I felt like I'd experienced enough shocks for the day.

  Winnow drew Hunt to the table. "We're gonna do this a little differently since it's a gift-free party. Hunt, you get to make a wish and say it aloud."

  "But that curses it!"

  "No, it doesn't, because we're gonna give it to him. So think hard, buddy boy. It has to be something we can do here and now."

  Mel yelled, "Wait, wait!" She ran up to Hunt, went on tiptoe, and whispered in his ear.

  Hunt nodded, straightened and looked around the room. He saw me and I could swear his eyes were twinkling.

  "Well?" Winnow demanded.

  "Easy one," Hunt said. "I wish for a kiss from all the single ladies here." Amidst the laughter and the ribbing, he blew out his candles. Then I lost sight of him behind all the converging women—and I'm pret-ty sure not all of them were single.

  But now my eyes were on Asher. Surprise, surprise, a couple of the barracuda—er, women—had latched onto him. Naturally. Asher+Asher's abs=irresistible.

  Over their heads, his eyes found mine. Sadly, his attitude hadn't undergone any improvement. He crossed his arms over his chest and regarded me accusingly.

  I wanted to do the same to him, but it's hard to be righteous when, well, you're the bad guy.

  I felt something wet and gross brush my legs.

  Wonderful. I'd just spilled spicy fermented cabbage all down my shins.

  I bent down to blot my legs and dress, using a towel Joel was nice enough to hand me, only to find Hunt there when I straightened. He was grinning, holding a slice of cake and a napkin out to me.

  "Thanks," I said, but he shook his head.

  "Kiss first," he said.

  "What?" My eyes widened as I remembered his birthday wish. "Oh, uh…"

  He presented his well-sculpted cheek to me.

  "Um, well, actually…"

  "Go on, girl. Plant one on me. You're single, aren't you, Charis?"

  I slanted a guilty look toward Asher. His face was thunderous.

  Oh, shit.

  No, Hunt, I'm not single, and you've just put me on the spot, thanks for asking.

  My desperately wan
dering gaze settled on Mel. She too had her arms crossed and was looking at me challengingly.

  That wench! Had she set me up?

  I leaned forward and gave Hunt a quick peck. But he turned his head and pursed his lips in invitation. "Come on, real kiss, real kiss."

  He was kind of adorable. But I wanted to smack him.

  "Ooh, Char's gonna kiss Hunt!"

  "Kiss him, Charis!"

  "I think she liiiiiikes him!"

  Now again I was the focus of the room, and this time Asher's stare was cutting into me like a laser.

  Why me? This was now on the scale of a Greek tragedy.

  Hunt must have seen something in my expression because his playful look vanished. "Aw, Charis, no pressure, I was just teasing you. What's wrong, girl?"

  What's wrong?

  What's wrong?

  I opened my mouth.

  If I kiss you when I actually belong to Asher that makes me the worst hypocrite on the planet of Hypocrypton but if I say fuck it all and tell everyone the truth then they'll all think…they'll all think…they'll assume…

  Oh, crap. You know what? I'm a complete chicken shit. Mel totally called it.

  I freaking don't deserve Asher.

  CHAPTER 33

  Six Months Ago—The Crunch

  Charis: There is no such thing as courage.

  Asher: Oh, yeah?

  Charis: Listen, no, really, there's no such thing.

  Asher. I heard you. Was I arguing?

  Charis: But there isn't. Courage doesn't exist.

  Asher: Hold on. I just have one more problem set…okay. What were you saying? No, I seriously was listening, I swear. Courage doesn't exist. It doesn't.

  Charis: Asher…

  Asher: All right, all right. What's that you say, Madam? Courage not exist? By what reasoning? Defend your claim!

  Charis: Thanks. Ahem. So, if you act fearless, that's not courage, that's just luck and stupidity. Like the other day when you dashed into the street to catch that football.

  Asher: Wait, are you trying to pick a fight?

  Charis: Ha. No, it's when you do something you're scared of doing, that's what everybody means when they call it courage.