True Nature

by Jae

  “I realized that most of them are good, peace-loving people. They’re just deathly afraid of what would happen if we humans discover their existence.”

  “What does all of this have to do with Danny and me? Danny doesn’t know anything about shape-shifters.”

  The woman sighed. “I know. And that’s the problem.”

  What was that supposed to mean? Rue frowned. “I don’t understand.”

  Kelsey inched closer.

  Despite knowing that Kelsey was a shape-shifter, Rue didn’t feel threatened as Kelsey moved into her personal space and took the phone from her.

  “Jorie, please. I really think we should tell her,” Kelsey said into the phone. She listened, then said, “I will,” and ended the call.

  In the cramped space in front of the sink, they stared at each other. Rue detected dark circles beneath Kelsey’s eyes, probably matching her own. “Tell me what?” Rue asked, not sure she really wanted to know.

  “Danny...” Kelsey breathed deeply and closed her eyes. When she opened them again, she looked directly into Rue’s eyes. “He’s a shape-shifter.”

  * * *

  Back in the bedroom, Rue paced back and forth until a wave of dizziness forced her to stop. Her life was spinning out of control. She sank onto the edge of bed and put one hand onto the solid wood of the nightstand as if to anchor herself. Am I going crazy? Is this all just in my head?

  But when she turned her head, Kelsey was there, the compassion in her eyes solid evidence that she wasn’t just imagining things.

  Rue stood again, unable to sit still. “I admit I haven’t been the best mother in the world, but don’t you think I would have noticed my son turning into a werewolf once a month?”

  Kelsey’s lips twitched, hinting at a smile. “It doesn’t work like that. Shape-shifting isn’t influenced by the moon. It’s triggered by hormones, so it only starts once we reach puberty.”

  “Oh, come on! You really expect me to believe that Danny...” Rue shook her head without finishing the sentence.

  “You didn’t believe that I could turn into a wolf either, but I can,” Kelsey said.

  As much as Rue wanted to deny it, she knew it was the truth. Never in a million years would she have believed that Kelsey could be anything but human. “But Danny...he loves baseball, action movies, and video games. He’s the typical human teenager.”

  “And you think Wrasa...shape-shifters don’t like baseball, action movies, and video games? Rue, we’ve been living as humans for thousands of years. We’re not that different from you.”

  “Not that different?” Rue laughed, a sound bare of humor. “Excuse me, but I can’t shift into a wild animal, and I don’t spend my days infiltrating innocent families to ruin their lives.”

  Kelsey got up from the bed and approached at an angle, careful not to step into Rue’s path. “I’m not your enemy. I know you’re angry and confused, but we don’t have time for this. We need to find Danny—fast. If he goes through his First Change before we find him...”

  “Let’s say...” Rue exhaled and sank onto the bed. For a moment, she stared at the faded, patched carpet. She rubbed her eyes and then looked up at Kelsey. “Let’s say for a minute what you say is true and Danny is...” She swallowed. “That he is really one of you. Why would shifting shape be dangerous? It’s in your nature, right?” Rue waited for Kelsey’s confirming nod, then continued, “So why would it be dangerous? You had no problems controlling it, controlling yourself. Your wolf form seemed kind of...um...tame.”

  For a moment, Kelsey looked insulted. “Tame?” she echoed, but then sighed and tilted her head. “I’m a trained Saru, a soldier, and—”

  “Soldier?” Rue stared at Kelsey, who—with her soft mahogany eyes and disheveled hair—didn’t look like a soldier at all. “What the heck...?”

  Kelsey bit her lip as if she had said too much. “I’m a trained soldier and an adult with fifteen years of shifting experience. But Danny is a teenager, and his life with you didn’t prepare him for what’s ahead.”

  The tiny hairs on Rue’s neck prickled with unease. “What is ahead?”

  “If Danny shifts without learning some control first, there’s no telling what will happen,” Kelsey said. “The First Change is painful and confusing, even under normal circumstances. Without a mentor there, he could panic. He might hurt someone or be hurt. He could pass out or even get stuck in his wolf form, without knowing how to shift back.”

  Rue squinted at Kelsey. Was she telling the truth? Can I still trust her? “I think I would have noticed a change that fundamental.”

  “Even human teenagers go through a lot of changes, and you didn’t know what you’re looking for, so it’s easy to misinterpret the signs.”

  “What signs?”

  “It usually starts with little things like an improved sense of smell and a change of eating habits. Most teenagers have intense dreams at night. Did Danny ever mention something like this?”

  Rue shook her head but had to admit that Danny had stopped telling her about his dreams years ago. In the past, she was the one he had run to when he had scraped his knee or woke up with a sore throat. She had been the first one to learn of a loose tooth, and when it had finally fallen out, she had taken him out to celebrate with a milkshake.

  But now, as a teenager, would he have come to her if he noticed something strange happening to him? She wasn’t sure.

  “The symptoms usually come in phases. When his mutaline level rises—”

  “His what?”

  “Mutaline,” Kelsey said. “The hormone that causes shifting. When its level rises, he’ll feel dizzy, disoriented, maybe queasy. His skin will itch like crazy, and he might run a fever or even pass out.”

  “I would have noticed that,” Rue said. “Danny is rarely, if ever, sick.”

  “Good. Then we might still have some time. But we need to find him quickly.”

  We? Rue mentally repeated. There was no longer a “we.” She couldn’t trust Kelsey any longer, but she needed her for now. She would let Kelsey think they were still working together. As soon as she had enough information to help Danny on her own, she’d get rid of Kelsey.

  Kelsey stepped closer and looked down at Rue. Her eyes held a warm glow, no hint of predator lurking in those irises. “I know you don’t think of me and the Wrasa very highly right now. And I don’t blame you. But please believe one thing: I’m here to protect Danny. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep him safe.”

  “Whatever it takes?” The same was true for Rue, but did Kelsey really have Danny’s best interest in mind?

  “Jorie and I,” Kelsey held up the phone in her hand to indicate the woman she had called, “we’re taking a big risk by keeping Danny’s existence from the council, our government.”

  “Then why do it?”

  “Because there are still forces in our council who would rather kill you and Danny than risk our existence being discovered by humans.”

  Rue’s throat tightened until she could barely choke out, “Kill him? You mean you shape-shifters kill each other?”

  “Oh, and you humans don’t?” Kelsey gentled her tone. “Killing is always the last resort, but the council is scared of what humans will do when they find out about us. If we don’t find Danny in time and he shifts in the middle of New York City, the first impression humans have of the Wrasa will be that of a violent, uncontrollable First Change.” Expression grim, Kelsey shook her head. “The council doesn’t trust humans to understand the difference between that and an in-control, adult Wrasa.”

  Rue shivered at the thought of a horde of shape-shifters hunting down Danny. “How do I know you’re not one of the Wrasa who thinks like that?”

  “There’s no way to prove it,” Kelsey said. “For once in your life, you have to take a leap of faith and let someone else help you.”

  The words burned like salt in a not yet healed wound. That kind of trust had never come easily for Rue.

  “It’s not easy for me ei
ther,” Kelsey said as if she was guessing Rue’s thoughts. “How do I know you won’t hurt Danny now that you know he’s a shape-shifter?”

  “What?” Rue jumped up from the bed. “Now you’re accusing me...? That’s fucked-up! I would never hurt Danny! I don’t care if he’s human, a shape-shifter, or a goddamned pink-dotted Martian—he’s my son and I love him!”

  Kelsey stared at her. A warm smile lit the orange-brown eyes from within. “Then help me find him.” She held out her hand to Rue.

  For now, Rue had no choice but to agree to this unusual partnership, just in case Kelsey was telling the truth about Danny, but it didn’t mean she fully trusted her.

  Just as Rue moved forward to shake Kelsey’s hand, her cell phone rang, sending her heartbeat into overdrive. She fumbled for a few seconds before she finally got it to her ear. “Yes?”

  “Ms. Harding, this is Detective Vargas with the NYPD,” the voice at the other end of the line said. “We think we found your son.”

  “Oh, thank God!” As her knees weakened, Rue sank onto the edge of the bed. Kelsey sat next to her, and they looked at each other, grinning from ear to ear. “Is he all right? Where can I pick him up?”

  “Um, ma’am, maybe you should come to the station so I can explain—”

  “I don’t want an explanation. I want to see Danny.”

  The sound of steel doors slamming shut echoed through the phone; then there was a drawn-out silence. “Ma’am…” Detective Vargas sounded pained.

  Rue’s stomach felt as if she were free-falling. “What happened? Tell me!”

  “Maybe it would be better if I told you in person.”

  “Tell me now!”

  The detective exhaled loudly. “We believe we found your son, but I’m afraid I don’t have good news. We need you to come to the morgue to identify the body.”

  Chapter 34

  No, not Danny. It’s not him. It can’t be him. The thought ran through Rue’s mind again and again until it became a mantra. She felt as if she had stepped out of her body and was watching herself go through the motions. The car key dug into her hand, and she welcomed the pain. She could barely remember leaving the hotel and walking to the parking garage. Every step felt unreal, as if she were trapped in a nightmare.

  The Mercedes looked as it always did, completely normal, making the situation even more surreal. Nothing is normal anymore.

  Her hand, cold and clammy, shook as she pressed the button that unlocked the car.

  “Let me drive,” Kelsey said, voice soft like a bandage on Rue’s open wounds. She slid her hand down Rue’s arm and wrapped her fingers around Rue’s, clearly expecting her to relinquish the car key.

  Rue pulled away and slipped behind the wheel. “No, I’m fine. It’s not Danny.”

  Kelsey pinched the bridge of her nose between her thumb and index finger. “Rue...”

  “No.” Rue didn’t want to hear what Kelsey had to say. “Go back to the hotel and get some rest while I take care of this.” Her defenses were barely holding up, and she had no energy left to waste on a shape-shifter she wasn’t sure she could trust.

  “You really think I can rest when Danny...” Kelsey shook her head. “Rue, I care about Danny. And about you.” She clamped her teeth around her bottom lip as if she had said too much. “I don’t want you to go through this alone.”

  “Then get in.” Rue needed to do something, not sit here and talk. Sitting around would leave her too much time to think. She focused on the road and the early-morning traffic and tried not to think about where they were going or what they might find there.

  * * *

  Detective Vargas waited for them in front of the morgue. Her somber expression and black blazer made her look like a funeral director.

  “What happened?” Rue asked, barely able to talk. Her whole body felt numb.

  “A demolition crew found the body in an abandoned warehouse along the Hudson River a couple of hours ago,” Vargas said. “Homeless people and runaways often squat in buildings like that, so they did a walk-through before starting the demolition. They found the boy and called an ambulance, but it was already too late. One of the stab wounds nicked his aorta. He probably bled out within seconds and didn’t suffer.”

  Oh, God. Rue pressed a hand to her stomach. Distantly, she became aware of Kelsey’s hand resting against the small of her back. The touch warmed her numb body and woke her from her stupor. “Can we get this over with?” The boy in the morgue wasn’t Danny, so she was wasting her time when she should have been searching for Danny.

  “Of course.” Vargas gripped her elbow as if Rue were weak and fragile, but Rue wrenched her arm away and strode down the gray corridor without any assistance.

  A young woman passed them, wailing, maybe grieving the death of her own beloved child as she hurried out of the morgue.

  Rue’s steps faltered. The woman’s visible pain pierced the protective numbness surrounding Rue. For a moment, she felt like crying, screaming, raging too, but she kept on walking. Her steps echoed down the hall. She stared at her shoes. One of them had a scuffmark marring the black leather. I should have brought another pair of shoes. With every step she took, her gaze fell on the scratched leather. This isn’t right. Not right.

  She squared her shoulders and prepared to face the wall of stainless steel drawers, as she had seen on Danny’s beloved crime shows. But instead, the detective led Rue and Kelsey into a small room with worn carpet. One end of the room held a leather couch that looked as if no one had ever sat on it, while the wall at the other end was made of glass.

  Like the viewing room at a maternity ward, Rue thought numbly. I never got to see Danny as a baby. How unfair. She raged inside at the possibility of having to see him like this now.

  A thought crossed her mind and wouldn’t let go. Had her grandfather faced a glass wall like this too? Did he have to ID her parents, or had the plane crash burned their bodies beyond recognition? Oh, Christ, how could he stand it? How would she be able to stand it? She had lost too many people she loved already—her parents, her grandfather, and now Danny.

  No. It can’t be him. Please, God, don’t let it be him. Not Danny.

  “I’ll let them know you’re ready to ID the body,” Vargas said and left them alone.

  Body? Her breathing was fast and labored, but it felt as if it was not her own. No. It’s not Danny’s body. She stood frozen in the middle of the room until a morgue attendant wheeled a gurney up to the viewing room window.

  Her heartbeat thundered through her ears until she could hear nothing else. Her gaze zeroed in on the pristine cotton sheet covering the body.

  She wanted to walk up to the window, but she couldn’t move.

  “Rue.” Kelsey touched her elbow and guided her toward the window.

  On shaky legs, Rue took a few steps forward. She reached out and placed her hands on the glass, not even feeling the cold against her palms.

  Silently, Kelsey stepped next to her. She laid her hand on Rue’s back.

  Once again, Rue didn’t pull away from Kelsey’s touch. She couldn’t move, couldn’t even blink. Only Kelsey’s touch anchored her in this strange reality.

  The morgue attendant tilted his head, gripped the edge of the cotton sheet, and mouthed, “Ready?”

  Ready? How could she be ready for…this?

  Time slowed to a crawl.

  Rue’s heart thudded high in her throat. She pressed her hands harder against the window. On her back, she felt Kelsey rub tiny circles. Kelsey’s fingers shook. The trembling ran through Rue’s body too. She wanted to turn her head and look at Kelsey for some reassurance, but she couldn’t look away from the body beneath the sheet.

  Behind them, someone—probably Detective Vargas—quietly slipped into the room.

  Rue still didn’t turn. She stared at the covered body. Finally, she blew out a sharp breath, fogging the window, and nodded.

  The morgue attendant lifted the sheet and pulled it back just enough to reveal the de
ad boy’s head.

  Dark hair was clumped together with blood.

  Rue squeezed her eyes shut, then, with Kelsey’s steadying touch at her back, looked again. “Oh, God!” She sank against the window. “It’s not him! It’s not Danny!” Her hands dropped away from the glass and hung limply at her sides. At first, her head and heart felt numb, not feeling much of anything. A buzzing sound filled her ears. Then, like a fist smashing through the surface of a frozen lake, wild hope pulsed through her. She wanted to shout out her joy, but this wasn’t the place. She turned, nearly stumbling, and fell into Kelsey’s embrace.

  Even through their thick coats, she felt Kelsey’s heart race along with hers. They clung to each other. Kelsey buried her head against Rue’s shoulder and whispered, “Oh, thank the Great Hunter” against Rue’s neck.

  The words cleared Rue’s dizzy mind. She realized she was clutching a shape-shifter. Since entering the morgue, Kelsey had become just Kelsey, her only anchor in an ocean full of pain and despair. Rue ended the embrace and hurried out of the morgue.

  * * *

  “First you make me think my son’s dead, and now you accuse him of being a murderer?”

  When Rue’s fist hit the table between them, Detective Vargas jumped. “I’m not accusing him of anything just yet,” Vargas said, holding up both hands. “So far, he’s just a person of interest, but you identified the murder weapon as Daniel’s pocketknife, and we need an explanation for that.”

  Rue stared at the pocketknife on the table. The inscription, D. Harding, was clearly visible through the transparent plastic of the evidence bag. There was no denying whose knife this was or that it had been the murder weapon. Dried blood clung to the blade. “Maybe someone stole it,” Rue said.

  “What about this?” The detective slid another clear plastic bag across the table. “Is this your son’s wallet and ID?”

  Next to the familiar brown wallet, Danny stared back at Rue from his ID photo. “You found Danny’s wallet and didn’t tell me?”