Daughters of Courage

by Margaret Dickinson

  Fifty-Six

  Josh arrived in the city in the early evening. Constance had been shocked by the news and had wanted to take Josh straight to Sheffield there and then to see Emily, but Josh had shaken his head. ‘No, no, this afternoon will be fine. You do whatever you have to do here and then we’ll go.’

  ‘I’ll bring you back tonight of course . . .’

  ‘There’s no need. Amy has agreed that I should stay the night with Emily.’

  ‘Yes, of course, but you must let me drive you back tomorrow – or whenever you’re ready. You know I can get extra petrol because of running this place as a convalescent home.’

  ‘Thank you. I will accept that kind offer.’ He smiled at her, but the smile did not reach his eyes, so deep was his sadness.

  Trip opened the door to his knock. ‘Josh – what a nice surprise. Come in, come in. Emily’s in the—’ He stopped as he saw Josh’s face. ‘Ah, there’s something wrong, isn’t there? Is it Harry?’

  Wordlessly, Josh nodded.

  ‘Come through and tell us both.’

  He opened the door into the living room. Emily was sitting darning socks by the fire. As soon as she glanced up, the smile of welcome faded from her face. She laid her sewing aside and stood up, going at once to put her arms around her brother.

  ‘It’s Harry, isn’t it? Sit down and tell us.’

  When he had explained – however many times was he going to have to repeat the awful words – Emily asked, ‘How are they all?’

  Josh sighed heavily and told them how each member of the family – and Lucy – had reacted to the news.

  Emily wiped the tears from her eyes. She rarely cried; but this was the worst news she’d ever had in her life. Even her father’s return from the Great War hadn’t been as bad as this. At least he’d come back, even though he was terribly injured. And he had been much better since the family had gone back to Ashford, but now . . .

  ‘How’s Dad?’ Emily asked, her voice shaking.

  ‘Not good, nor is Amy’s dad. They’ve taken it very hard. We all have.’

  ‘Is there anything we can do?’

  Constance had asked the same question as she had dropped Josh outside Emily’s house, but what was there that anyone could do? Their beloved Harry was gone.

  Sadly, Josh shook his head. ‘Amy is clinging to the wording “missing” and if that’s the way she can deal with it, then who am I to argue? We – we’ve each got to come to terms with it in our own time and in our own way.’

  ‘Just let us know, Josh, if there’s anything – anything at all – that we can do,’ Trip said.

  ‘Could I stay the night? I was wondering if I should see Lizzie while I’m here.’

  Emily bit her lip. She could hardly tell them of her fears that, if she saw him again, Lizzie might rekindle the flame she’d held for Josh.

  As he saw his sister hesitate, Josh smiled wryly. ‘Amy knows. I wouldn’t go behind her back, Em.’

  Emily smiled weakly and nodded. ‘I’ll take you to see her after I’ve found you something to eat. She’s working with Ruth Nicholson at the shop, though she refuses to serve customers. The left-hand side of her face is badly scarred, Josh. It might shock you, but please don’t let it show on your face when you see her.’

  ‘I won’t. I’m used to such sights at Riversdale.’

  Emily stared at him for a moment and then murmured, ‘Of course you are. Now, I wonder . . .’

  The two men exchanged a glance. ‘What’s buzzing through that busy little head of yours this time?’ Trip asked.

  ‘I was just wondering if it really would do Lizzie good to visit Riversdale. Your mother suggested it before, Trip, but I’d thought of it as just a holiday, you know, to get her away from the city, but now I can see that it might do her good to meet some of the soldiers and see how they cope with their injuries.’

  ‘Would she agree to go there, though?’ Trip ventured. ‘It’s taken you long enough to get her to go to the shop, and even then she hides herself away in the back and refuses to meet anyone.’

  ‘It’s not Lizzie I’d be concerned about, it’s the wounded. I wouldn’t want them to think we were treating them like – guinea pigs.’

  Despite the terrible news they had just received, Josh laughed. ‘You needn’t worry about that, Em. That’s what Archie McIndoe calls all his boys. “The Guinea Pig Club”. They’re all proud to be members.’

  ‘I’m sure the sister at the hospital in Leeds mentioned him, but to be honest, I was so worried about Lizzie that I didn’t really take in what she was saying, only that it was about some kind of new treatment they were using. Who is he?’

  ‘A brilliant man,’ Josh said. ‘A lot of our lads have been operated on by him and have come to us to recuperate. Those who still have to have more operations stay at his hospital in East Grinstead, but once he’s done all he can for them, they come to homes like Riversdale to heal. He’s doing some marvellous work. He’s a real pioneer.’

  ‘And you think this great man might help Lizzie?’

  ‘I don’t see why not. She’s a war casualty just the same as the RAF lads who’ve been burned in their planes—’ He stopped suddenly and stared at Emily before whispering hoarsely. ‘Oh my God, don’t say that’s what happened to Harry.’

  Emily enfolded him in her embrace. ‘Keep the faith, Josh. Be like Amy and believe what they’ve said. “Missing”. We must all cling to that.’

  Emily was a little fearful as they stepped into the shop.

  ‘You remember my brother, Josh, don’t you, Ruth?’

  Ruth smiled and held out her hand. ‘I do indeed. How are you, Josh? It must be twenty years since I’ve seen you.’ She searched the man’s face. He’d altered in the intervening years. He was no longer the fresh-faced, slightly diffident young man, who had relied so much on his sister’s strength of character back then. Now, he had confidence. He was broad and tall, but he was just beginning to show signs of his forty years. His hair was thinning and he was starting to have a double chin and a slight paunch. He was a nice-looking man with a kind face, but he was no longer the handsome young feller with whom Lizzie had been infatuated.

  ‘And what brings you to the big bad city?’

  ‘He—’ Emily began and then faltered. Josh put his arm around her and faced Ruth. ‘Sadly, I’ve had to come to see Em and Trip with some bad news. Harry is missing.’

  Ruth’s face contorted. ‘Oh Josh, I’m so sorry. So very sorry.’ She, more than anyone else they knew, understood what it meant to receive such heartbreaking news. She wiped her eyes and then said, ‘I’ll tell her you’re here. I don’t know if she’ll see you though, Josh.’

  But moments later, Ruth came back and said, ‘Go through, both of you.’

  As they stepped into the back room, Lizzie kept the left-hand side of her face turned away from them, but Josh went towards her with his arms outstretched wide and bent to kiss her forehead. He would have liked to have made a point of kissing her scarred cheek but, although the wound was healing well, he didn’t want to cause infection. Tears welled in Lizzie’s eyes as she looked up at him.

  ‘I’m not the pretty girl you knew, Josh. Not any longer.’

  He smiled down at her. ‘Of course you are.’ Gently, he took her by the shoulders and turned her to face him. Watching, Emily held her breath. ‘You’ll always be beautiful, Lizzie,’ Josh murmured and then added, more strongly, ‘I want you to come to Riversdale. There are people there I’d like you to meet.’

  ‘Oh Josh, I can’t. I – I don’t go out – except to come to work.’

  ‘Mrs Bayes will bring you to Ashford if I ask her.’

  ‘Who – who is it you want me to meet?’

  Josh tapped the end of her nose playfully. ‘That’s a secret. You’ll see.’

  Fifty-Seven

  ‘It’s very kind of you to take me, Mrs Bayes,’ Lizzie said as she climbed into Constance’s car the following Sunday morning. She’d taken some persuading. ‘But
I’m not at all sure about this.’

  Today, she was wearing one of Constance’s pretty hats with a pink veil tied beneath her chin, one that Constance had always worn when driving her open-topped car. The veil, cleverly positioned, hid the left side of Lizzie’s face.

  ‘It’ll be fine. They’re very brave young men, who’ve had all sorts of injuries, but Riversdale is a happy place. You’ll be surprised.’

  ‘I’m not very brave,’ Lizzie said in a small voice.

  ‘I think you’re very courageous,’ Constance said, telling what she thought of as a little white lie to try to boost the girl’s confidence. Constance was honest enough to admit that had the same thing happened to her, she didn’t know how she would have coped.

  When she ushered a hesitant Lizzie in through the front door, both Josh and Amy were there to greet her. Amy moved forward and, for a brief moment, the two women stared at each other, then Amy put her arms round Lizzie and held her.

  ‘I’m so, so sorry to hear about your boy, Amy,’ Lizzie whispered.

  ‘Thank you, Lizzie,’ Amy said softly and then with forced brightness she added, ‘Now, we’ve afternoon tea laid out in the patients’ lounge.’

  ‘Amy will look after you now, Lizzie,’ Josh said gently. ‘Mrs Bayes,’ Josh turned to Constance, ‘might I have a word?’

  The two moved away towards the office.

  ‘Will – will patients be there?’ Lizzie asked nervously.

  ‘One or two. They know you’re coming and are waiting to meet you.’

  As Amy led Lizzie to the room that had once been Constance’s morning room, Lizzie heard loud laughter greeting them. As they stepped through the door, she saw that there were three young men sitting there. All of them had scars on their faces. One had lost his left arm, for his empty sleeve was tucked into the pocket of his jacket, but they all stood up politely.

  ‘Hello,’ they chorused and shook her hand in turn.

  ‘This is Roland,’ Amy said, introducing them, ‘William and Bernard.’

  ‘Here, sit by me,’ Roland said. ‘We’ll let Amy be mother today and pour the tea, shall we?’

  ‘You’re quite capable, Roland, even with one hand,’ Amy laughed, ‘but, yes, as we have a visitor, I’ll pour.’

  Lizzie glanced round at them all again and then, slowly, she took off her hat and veil. For the first time since the accident she didn’t feel embarrassed, not even when the three of them all leaned closer to inspect her injury.

  ‘I reckon Archie’d make a marvellous job of that, don’t you, chaps?’ Roland said.

  ‘It doesn’t look like it’s gone too deep. I reckon one op, or two at the most, would do it.’

  Lizzie looked round at them all. They were all smiling at her. ‘What? What are you talking about?’

  ‘We’ve all been treated by Archibald McIndoe at the Queen Victoria Hospital in East Grinstead,’ William explained. ‘He’s fast becoming an expert in the treatment of burns. It’s happening quite a lot to pilots.’

  Lizzie couldn’t help glancing at Amy. How could she cope with meeting these airmen every day and wondering if that was what had happened to her son?

  ‘It’s called plastic surgery, but it’s skin grafts really.’

  ‘Don’t tell her where they take the skin from,’ the one called William teased. ‘Let’s just say that sitting down was a bit uncomfortable for a week or two.’

  ‘And it’ll give me a heck of a kick when my mother-in-law kisses my cheek.’

  The three men laughed uproariously at their own banter and Lizzie wasn’t sure if they were joking or not.

  Now Roland leaned towards her and examined her face closely. ‘I really think he could help you, Lizzie.’ His tone was serious now, the joking and the teasing over for the moment. They could see how nervous and lacking in confidence the young woman now was. They could also see how beautiful she’d been.

  ‘Do you?’ she asked tentatively.

  ‘Sure of it,’ Bernard, the quieter one of the three, said. ‘He’d need to see you first, of course.’

  ‘But – would he do it? I mean, I’m not even in the services.’

  ‘Not exactly, but you were injured whilst doing valuable war work, weren’t you?’

  It seemed they’d been told all about her – or at least as much as they were allowed to know.

  ‘I suppose so, but . . .’

  ‘No “buts”. William will write to him straight away and ask if there’s anything he can do.’

  ‘That’s very kind of you,’ Lizzie murmured and, for the first time, she had real hope.

  ‘And now,’ Roland said, holding out his arm to her, ‘let me show you around Riversdale and you can meet some of the others. Of course, they’re not all burns patients. They’ve all sorts of injuries and have come here because they’re well on the mend. Some of them will go back to their units when they’re fully fit.’

  To her surprise, Lizzie enjoyed her visit. All of the patients, without exception, were cheerful, exchanging merry banter with each other and with the staff, even – to Lizzie’s astonishment – with Constance when she came to speak to them all.

  As they climbed back into her car for the return journey, Lizzie said, ‘I can’t thank you enough for bringing me today, Mrs Bayes. I didn’t want to come, but it’s given me real hope. I must write and tell Billy when I get home.’

  ‘I’m glad, my dear,’ Constance murmured. She was heartened on two counts, though Lizzie would not realize it. She was happy to hear that the girl had a newfound confidence, but she was also relieved to hear that Lizzie’s first thought was to write to her husband.

  As Constance was about to start the engine, Lizzie put her hand on the woman’s arm. ‘Can I tell you something in confidence?’

  ‘Of course.’

  ‘Normally, I would tell Emily, but I – I can’t. Not about this.’

  ‘Go on.’

  Lizzie took a deep breath. ‘I expect you know all about my silliness over Josh and – and even about my more recent –’ Lizzie ran her tongue nervously around her lips – ‘stupidity.’ When Constance remained silent, Lizzie went on, ‘I just want you to know that for the first time ever I could look at Josh today and see him just as a friend. I’m no longer imagining myself in love with him, Mrs Bayes. And I – I feel released. Is that a strange thing to say?’

  ‘No, I don’t think so, my dear, and I’m so glad to hear it.’

  ‘I know now that it’s Billy I love. He’s been so good to me. So understanding and – and forgiving.’

  ‘So he knows about . . . ?’

  Lizzie shook her head. ‘Not really. I tried to tell him when he came to the hospital, but he stopped me – said he didn’t want to hear. I suppose he suspected something, but he just asked me if it was over and, when I said “yes”, he said we’d never speak of it again.’

  ‘Then you mustn’t – not to him, but I do think you should tell Emily how you feel about Josh now. I think it would set her mind at rest.’

  Lizzie was thoughtful for a moment. ‘I expect you’re right. I just feel so sorry for them – Josh and Amy – to think that they have lost their son.’

  With that, Constance started the engine and they drove home, each busy with her own thoughts.

  Fifty-Eight

  When Emily arrived to pick her up the following morning because it was raining heavily, Lizzie said, ‘Tomorrow, Emily, if it’s fine, I’ll walk to work. And –’ she smiled – ‘I won’t even wear a veil, though Mrs Bayes has kindly given me the pink hat I wore yesterday to use when I go somewhere amongst strangers who might stare.’

  Emily blinked and then smiled. ‘So – the visit to Riversdale helped, did it?’

  Lizzie nodded. ‘Enormously. They’ve not only made me realize that I needn’t hide myself away, but they’ve given me hope that something can be done to make it look – if not perfect – then a whole lot better.’ And she went on to tell Emily about Archie McIndoe, ending, ‘Constance has been so kind. She�
�s offered to help me in any way I need. Even financially.’

  ‘She’s a wonderful woman and I give thanks every day that she’s found happiness. No one deserves it more than she does.’

  ‘William – one of the airmen at Riversdale – said he would write to him. There were three of them there who’d been treated by Mr McIndoe, so they feel they know him. But Mrs Bayes has said she’s going to get in touch with him too. I’m no good at writing that sort of letter.’

  Constance did everything she could. When she heard that the surgeon was willing to see Lizzie, she took her to East Grinstead and offered to pay whatever fee he charged.

  The kindly surgeon smiled at Lizzie. ‘We’ll soon have that little blemish looking a whole lot better and you’ll have your pretty face back. Trust me.’

  And, along with the members of the Guinea Pig Club – the airmen who had been so badly damaged in their burning aircraft – Lizzie did trust him implicitly.

  Her trust was well founded. After two operations there was only slight scarring that Mr McIndoe told her she would be able to cover with cosmetics once the wound was fully healed. So, after a few weeks of recuperation, Lizzie returned to work in the shop alongside her mother-in-law full-time and, bravely, she now faced all the customers.

  It took a long time for Lizzie to pluck up the courage to talk to Emily about the other matter, which she had discussed with Constance, but one evening in April when she knew Trip was out, she walked the short distance to Emily’s home and knocked on the door.

  Emily smiled a welcome, but Lizzie was still hesitant. ‘If you’re busy, I can come back another time.’ She almost hoped Emily would say ‘Yes’.

  ‘No, no, come in. I’ll be glad of the company. If you don’t mind staying in the kitchen. I’m just doing a bit of baking, though I’m not much good at it. Not like your mam – or mine. You make us both a cup of tea while I finish making this vegetable pie.’

  ‘I thought Mam baked for you?’