Strange New Feet

by Shannon Esposito

  “He is a part of A.R.N. They are the ones who sent him.”

  Sue steps back from him reflexively, her mouth pressing like a compressed spring.

  Anders looks genuinely concerned now. “Miss Barnes, please think about this. You and your daughter are going to need protection.”

  “If I need someone,” Sue says, her fists rolling into balls as she reaches the car. “I’ll call the police. I don’t need help from someone who did this to my child in the first place.” She flings open the door and slides in, slamming it behind her.

  Safia knocks on the window as she guns the engine. “Sue, call me when you get home, okay?” Sue nods, throws Anders one more sharp glance and then backs out of the parking space. Olivia waves at them as they pull away.

  Safia expects to see anger as she faces Anders. Instead, he crosses his arms and smiles softly at her. “Safia Raine,” he says under his breath. “I am not your enemy.” With that he turns and walks away.

  “Hey, aren’t you coming?” she calls after him. He holds up one hand and waves without looking back. “Fine,” she says. “Find your own way back.”

  “Everything okay?” Rita asks as she gets in the car and slams the door.

  “Fine, yes. Everything’s fine.”

  Chapter 16

  Sue had called. They made it home safely.

  Lock your doors, Safia had told her. As if that would keep out the reality of what they were facing, as if being locked inside four walls was any kind of freedom from the storm of public outcry that was building. The protest at the hospital had turned violent and some protesters were now patients.

  *******

  Safia is stretched out on the floor, listening to the rain pelt the glass, her eyes fixed on the only light in her apartment—a wide, cream candle throwing its light and shadow against the wooden floor. She tries to lose herself in its warmth, in its simple dance. Her mind is too full. Scattered thoughts rise and swell, pulling her this way and that. What if? What if?

  There is a soft knock at the door. She doesn’t move. Can’t move. It would take tremendous effort to lift herself off the floor, to pull her eyes away from the tiny fire.

  The knock comes again, only more insistent.

  “All right,” she sighs. Dragging herself to the door, she looks into the tiny circle of embedded glass, the looking glass. Her head drops and she opens the door. “Kat, it’s really late.”

  “It’s just been such a weird day,” Kat replies, holding up a brown bag and slipping by Safia. “We brought food.” Reuben nods as he follows Kat in. “Thought you might like some company. Forget to pay the electric bill?” She flips on the kitchen light and keeps talking as she removes red porcelain plates from the cabinet. “So, we just got back from the meeting. Weird, let me tell you. Everyone was arguing. It was getting really heated. I think we’ve lost about half our members. They are not happy with what Dr. Vogler and Shar have done. We’ve always rallied against stuff like this, ya know? Messing with nature like this. It’s just not right. Some of the members are secretly talking about staging a protest against A.R.N.! Can you believe it?”

  Safia transfers the candle from the floor to the table. She forgot about the meeting. Damn, she should have been there. “White or red?” she asks, standing in front of the wine rack.

  “Got any of that white Burgundy left?” Kat rummages around in the cabinet again and plucks out three glasses. “So, anyway you should have seen it. Everyone was shouting. I thought Dr. Mills handled it well, though. Didn’t get all ruffled. Don’t you think?” She turns to Reuben, who is dumping piles of white rice and sushi on the plates.

  “I’m sure she was expecting the reaction. She didn’t seem very surprised.”

  Safia opens the bottle, carries it and the glasses to the table. “Was Anders Grey there?” she asks casually as she is pouring.

  “No, actually he wasn’t. Why?” She gives her sister a sly smile.

  “I guess you didn’t hear what happened then?” she replies, doing her best not to get annoyed with Kat. “When we were releasing Olivia from the hospital?”

  “No, what?”

  She slides into a chair. “Some guy tried to shoot Olivia and Anders stopped him.”

  “What?!” Kat looks genuinely surprised.

  “That explains it,” Reuben says, placing a plate in front of her.

  “Did they catch the guy then?” Kat asks. “Chopsticks?”

  “Yeah, they arrested him. Cup by the stove.”

  “Got ‘em. Who’s the artist?” She joins them at the table. “The Crayola flowers hanging on your fridge,” she adds after Safia just stares at her.

  “Oh. Olivia.”

  “Hm. Not bad for a…” she stops when she sees Safia’s expression darken. “Child,” she finishes quickly. “And that explains what, Reuben?”

  “What Grey’s doing here. I guess Dr. Mills brought him in to be the girl’s body guard.”

  Safia takes a mouthful of wine and swallows slowly. “Well, Sue didn’t want him around her daughter because of his association with A.R.N.. Besides, that’s what the police are for.”

  “The police?” Kat scoffs. “They only come after the fact. Is she stupid? Turning down personal protection? Especially from someone like Anders. Believe me, if you would have seen how pissed these people were tonight…people that have spent their lives fighting for animal rights were saying really nasty things—saying she was an abomination and a threat to the human race. Well, I think she’s going to need it.”

  “She’s just a little girl,” Safia says.

  “Do you really believe that?” Reuben asks.

  Safia thinks about his question. Did she?

  “Yes,” she finally answers, though the word ‘chimpanzee’ is bubbling up despite her efforts to suppress it. She taps a short nail on the wine glass. “What do you think?”

  “I don’t think she should have been made,” he replies. “But I can see why they did it. A wake-up call to the human race. Get their collective heads out of their collective asses.”

  “She wasn’t made,” Safia counters, watching Reuben stuff a California roll into his mouth. “She was born, just like every other IVF baby that gets assembled in a Petri dish.”

  “Not quite like every other baby,” Kat chimes in. “You can’t ignore the truth, Sis.”

  “So, where is Dr. Vogler and Shar?”

  “Ha,” Kat laughs. “You think if Dr. Mills even knew she would tell anybody?”

  “You don’t think she knows?”

  “They could be anywhere. A.R.N. has friends and safe houses all over the world.”

  “Well, maybe one of those disgruntled members will give up some of those to the FBI.”

  “I don’t know about that. But, they definitely have made a few enemies.”

  Chapter 17

  “How are things going today, Sue?”

  It is a deceptively beautiful day. Safia sits at the park, legs stretched out in the grass after a three-mile run. She watches an ant crawl across her pale, damp thigh.

  “Besides the reporters camped out across the street? Fine, I guess,” her voice cracks. “No, not fine.”

  “What is it?”

  “I don’t know. Everything. Nothing. I’m just disappointed,” Sue sighs. “I thought since Olivia was gonna need to stay indoors for awhile. You know, ‘til all this publicity dies down. Well, I thought Penney could come over and keep her company. Olivia misses her friend.”

  “Sounds like a good idea.”

  “Yeah, to us but apparently not to Bonnie, her mother. At first she just said they were busy and then they were going out of town. Then, when I pressed her, she finally told me the truth. Her and Michael don’t want Penney around Olivia any more. Can you believe that? I mean, they’re acting like she’s a leper or something.”

  Safia tilts her head back so the sweat runs into her hairline instead of her eyes. She squints up at the sunlight filtering through the tree above her and shakes her head. “They’ll
come around, Sue. You just have to give them time. They’re just reacting out of fear, that’s all.”

  “I know. I asked them what they were afraid of. They wouldn’t say.”

  “People fear the new, the unknown.”

  “Yeah.”

  “How are you holding up?”

  “I feel like I’m going crazy,” she pauses. Safia hears a door close and when she speaks again, her voice is lower. “You know I love Olivia, she’s my whole life. But…please don’t think I’m a terrible mother, please?”

  “I’m not here to judge you, Sue.”

  “I know. But, I am beginning to think that of myself, that I’m a terrible mother. It’s just that I look at her now and I wonder if I really know her. I can’t help myself. I try to stop the thoughts, but I see her differently. When she looks at me, my heart breaks because I see something different in her now. I see the other half of her. The…other parents.”

  “Oh, Sue,” Safia closes her eyes.

  “I know. I’m horrible.”

  “No, you’re only human.” Safia cringes, wishing immediately she could take that back. It is too late.

  “And she’s not,” Sue finishes with a burst of despair.

  Safia wants to reassure her, to say ‘nothing’s changed’ but that would be a lie. Everything’s changed.

  “I don’t know what to tell you, Sue,” she rubs her eyes. “Look, humans are unique because we can choose how we react to the things, we can choose how we are going to perceive and interpret any new information. You have new information is all. Nothing about Olivia has changed. No one can tell you how to perceive your child in light of this new information, but you do have a choice.” This is the fork in the road, she can feel it. The key to Olivia’s future. The choice, the judgment humanity will make that will define her. Left—human, with all the rights and privileges that come with being at the top of the food chain. Right—animal, with all the prejudices and none of the rights. If her own mother can’t see her as human, she is doomed.

  “Don’t be too hard on yourself, Sue. It’s good that you’re talking about this. I’m sure these are normal thoughts considering the circumstances. No matter what, you and Olivia love and care about each other. Hold onto that and just take it one moment at time, okay?”

  “Okay.” She is breathing irregularly. “You’re right. That’s all that matters. I’ve just got to pray for strength.” There is a long silence. “It’s just…what kind of life is she going to have?”

  “I don’t know.” Safia feels drained and at the same time feels the need to do something. “Hey, maybe I could talk to Penney’s mother. You know, explain from a medical point of view there’s nothing wrong with Olivia. She’s still the same little girl Penney always played with.”

  “No harm in trying, I guess. I’ll send you the number.”

  She hangs up and waits for the tiny beep, scrolls to the new number and calls.

  “Hello?”

  “Hi, can I speak to Bonnie, please?”

  “This is her.” Suspicion.

  “This is Safia Raine. I’m a friend of Sue Barnes. I also work at the hospital. She said you may have some concerns about Penney being around Olivia and thought maybe I could answer any questions you might have.”

  “Oh,” then a long silence. “Well, I appreciate your calling, Miss Raine, but I don’t have any questions.”

  “Look, Bonnie, I know it’s a shock, but Olivia really needs her friends right now, especially Penney. I assure you, there is no harm in being around Olivia.”

  “You assure me? How can you do that? A human-monkey whatever has never been alive before…”

  “Chimpanzee. Human-chimpanzee,” Safia corrects her. Even as she says it, it sounds ridiculous to her own ears.

  “Like that makes a difference? How can you be so sure there’s not some consequence to this? Some disease or virus that is caused by this unnatural act. Like HIV?”

  Safia feels herself sink at this. It is a possibly, a valid threat that she hasn’t allowed her mind to get cozy with.

  “You don’t know, and I am not willing to bet my child’s life on it. Do you have children, Miss Raine?”

  “No, I don’t.”

  “Well, one day if you do, you will understand my need to protect my own child above all. Good day.”

  Safia stares off down the sloping hill, tossing the phone into the grass beside her. A group of kids are playing kick ball. Their laughter drifts toward her and makes her heart hemorrhage. It is laughter from the past. From Olivia’s past. She gives up the fight for a brief moment and lets gravity pull her to the earth. The scent of grass and clay fills her nose as she inhales deeply, eyes closed, fingers splayed on her stomach, sun speckling her face. Forcefully emptying her mind.

  After a few minutes, she is calmer. Her anxiety and stress absorbed into the ground like sunlight and rain. A heavy hand reaches, searches blindly and finds the phone in the grass.

  “Hey, it’s me.”

  “What did she say?”

  “They just need some time to cope, Sue. Just…give them some time. Do you have relatives you can take her to visit?”

  “No,” her voice sounds full of lead. “It’s just me and her. We don’t have anyone else.”

  “Yes you do.” Safia suddenly wants to wrap them both in her arms and fly them away from their own lives. She gets an idea. “You have me and I have relatives. I have an idea. I’ll call you back tomorrow. Give Olivia a hug for me, would you?”

  “Sure, talk to you tomorrow.”

  A shadow moves across her face. A male voice comes out of nowhere. “No amount of time is going to change what is, Safia.”

  Startled, she pulls herself into a sitting position. “What are you doing here? Did you follow me?”

  Anders lowers himself to sit beside her. Sweat has darkened the hair around his face and painted a transparent V on his white t-shirt. She tries to push back on the warmth his presence is creating, but it’s no use. It’s like trying to hold back water, it envelopes her, enrages her. His eyes are two pools of polished blue glass glinting in the sunlight. She is loosing herself in them.

  “Yes,” he says simply.

  “And you were eavesdropping on my conversation? You’re just unbelievable.” She can’t even find the words for the explosion of…what? Indignation? Invasion of privacy? Anger? No, the energy is all white and hot, almost pleasant. She is flailing, the fight is within. Against herself. “That’s just rude.” It’s the best she can do.

  He cracks a smile. He’s amused. Her eyes narrow as she shakes her head. Is he laughing at her feeble admonishment? Or can he see the inner battle his presence is causing?

  “There’s nothing funny about stalking someone,” she throws at him.

  “You’re absolutely right,” he answers, a touch of amusement still dancing in his eyes as he reaches over and slides a piece of grass from her hair. “Forgive me?”

  She feels his touch, his invasion of her space the same as she feels the sun—as warmth that soaks into her very bones. She forces herself to turn away, to look once again down the hill at the children playing ball. “No.”

  “Too bad. Our time together isn’t going to be very pleasant if you’re going to hold a grudge.”

  “What time together?”

  “You tell me. Where do you plan on taking Olivia?”

  “That’s none of your business.”

  “It is,” his tone is matter-of-fact. It leaves no room for doubt or argument. “My job is to protect her.”

  “Because Dr. Mills said so?” She is looking at him again, expectantly and rebelliously.

  “At first, yes.” He is holding her glare, being open. Somehow the effect on her resolve is something akin to warm fingers gently kneading dough. “But I have my own reasons.”

  “Which are?” she asks, fully aware her voice has softened.

  “Private,” he answers, briefly glancing at her mouth. “For now.”

  “So, shouldn’t you be keep
ing guard at her house instead of here annoying me?”

  “She’s safe for now. No one is going to try anything with all those reporters and cameras around. But, I don’t think the public is going to feel secure until she disappears. Dead or locked away somewhere where they don’t have to think about her and the implications her existence creates.” His eyes close for a moment and when they open she notices a subtle shift in his focus. “Safia, you realize that the protests are only the beginning. There is a primal fear that has been burst open here and it’s much bigger than being afraid of one child.”

  “I’m listening,” she nods. She wants to hug him for using the word ‘child.’

  “I may not agree with what Dr. Vogler has done, but I do understand his motives. He is forcing everyone to take a good hard look at what it means to be human. A very dangerous thing that will either be the final victory for animal rights or the final nail in the coffin of humanity. Either way, he wins.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “Okay, think about your own self-identity. Some labels you would give yourself would be nutritionist, sister, daughter, friend, woman…jogger. Things you use to know yourself. The foundation of all that is human. The foundation for all people’s self-identity is human. If they know nothing else, at least they can look in the mirror and know they are human, they are unique. They can go to the zoo, show their kids the apes in the cages and know they are superior, they are smarter, they are the ones created in God’s image. Their lives have meaning, their lives will continue after death. Because of this, they are not the ones in the cage. If it’s possible that what they are made of is no different than what those caged animals are made up of, if it’s true that we are a part of nature and its seemingly cold recycling of life and death, instead of above it…humanity’s idea of themselves will crumble, along with hope and the moral structure that comes along with feeling special. There will be chaos, lawlessness…a new kind of war, a silent one within each person that they will not win.”

  “And this is his goal?”

  “No, his goal is simply to get us to see we are no different than the animals we abuse. To stop this abuse, to save them from extinction. Unfortunately, I don’t think this is going to be the outcome.”