The Reluctant First Lady

by Venita Ellick

  Arm in arm, Michael and Ashley, accompanied by the Secret Service, walked up Pennsylvania Avenue to their new residence. Michael leaned over to Ashley and said, “I wish my dad could have lived to see this.”

  Ashley responded, “He did see it, Michael. He simply has a higher vantage point than most of us. He’d be as proud of you as the rest of us are.”

  He looked over at his wife; she was absolutely luminous. She radiated charm and grace. If only she’d recognize the good she could do if she took her rightful place as the First Lady.

  Her energy, drive, and passion could achieve such impressive things.

  It had been wonderful having her with him these past few weeks. She’d been terrific at handling all of the events associated with the transition and pre-inaugural activities. She’d accompanied him to all of the scheduled events and never complained about the hectic and demanding itinerary. She was charming to all she met, drawing them in with her winning smile and keen sense of humor. It was easy to forget that she didn’t intend to stay by his side and share in his journey.

  Many designers had approached her about designs for dresses for tonight’s balls; she rejected each of them politely. She summed them up to Michael: “Too fitted, too formal, too restricting.” Ashley had found many new designers in SoHo she liked. Ultimately she had purchased a dress from one of their shops. It was a floor-length dress done in swirling shades of purple, with a fitted halter top that left her back fully exposed. She liked it; it was simple, and she felt comfortable in it.

  Her picture was already appearing in fashion magazines, usually under negative titles for the clothes she chose to wear. She was heralded as eccentric. Fashion experts claimed she seemed to choose clothes as an expression of her moods, and she had a penchant for clothes and designs from various ethnic backgrounds. Michael realized he didn’t really notice what she wore anymore; he was so used to her style. But the press, accustomed to seeing past First Ladies in very traditional dresses and suits, didn’t quite know what to make of Ashley.

  As the Taylor family entered the residence at the White House for the first time, there were no quips or trivial conversations. Reality had descended and left its mark on each member of their family. What they’d discussed for weeks in the abstract was now a reality. Glibness had been replaced with reverence as the historical aura of the rooms vibrated with the vital force of the previous generations that had stood there before them.

  “Kind of a heady experience, regardless of where you stand politically, huh?” Jeremy interjected his thoughts into the silence.

  “No kidding,” Juliette agreed. “When you think of all the presidents and their families who’ve lived here, it really humbles you. I like the way you’ve made it seem like home, Mom. I noticed you had Dad’s old chair sent here from California. What’s he going to sit on when he goes home? He’ll roam the house like an old dog who can’t find the bone he’s buried.”

  Ashley laughed, “I’ll have to go on a scouting trip to find an exact duplicate of the chair, complete with broken springs. Otherwise, it’s true, he won’t know where to light, or if he does, he’ll complain.

  “Are you two planning to attend any of the balls?” Ashley asked.

  Jeremy responded, “Yes, we were planning to go to one or two. We want the full meal deal while we’re here. Fortunately we don’t have to attend them all like you do. We’ll probably pick out a couple that appeal to us and spend the majority of our time there.”

  “Just a word of advice: Don’t let your guard down for a minute. It’s not just your father who’s newsworthy. Everything you say and do is a potential story for the press, so don’t give them any place to go.” Ashley used her most imperious voice with her kids, not that it would do any good. She knew she had no control over their actions anymore, but she also knew they wouldn’t deliberately embarrass their father.

  “Don’t get into any philosophical discussions where you end up backing someone into a corner and making them look like a fool. And Jeremy, no matter what may be said, stay calm. Your dad and I don’t need to be protected; we can take care of ourselves. Do you understand me?” Ashley asked, her hands on her hips for emphasis.

  Ashley looked at her beautiful children sitting on the sofa. They both delighted and tortured her. She knew a lecture on deportment was a waste of her time; they always followed their own path. She’d taught them that. They weren’t her babies anymore, and her influence on them was minimal at best and nil most of the time.

  Michael intervened. “I trust you both to conduct yourself appropriately.”

  “Dad, we won’t do anything to cause you to worry,” Juliette responded.

  Ashley rolled her eyes.

  25

  Michael, it isn’t as bad as you think. The press and everyone else were totally out of earshot and unaware of what happened between Paula and me. What was said was between the two of us. The only reason you know is because I’m telling you. You didn’t honestly expect me to stand there and take her sarcastic, superior attitude, did you?” Ashley was pacing back and forth in their bedroom as she talked. She felt if she kept moving, the air flowing over and around her body would cool her down from her current boiling point.

  Michael looked over at the clock. They’d attended seven balls, and he was exhausted. “Honey, it’s three in the morning. I can see that you’re upset, but can’t it wait until we get up?” Michael asked. He had to get some sleep.

  “Not really. I think you should know what you’re dealing with in the Paula department. I’ll do my best to make this short.”

  From listening to Ashley, Paula had said or done something to really upset her. He was curious as to what that was. As tired as he was, in his heart he hoped the root cause of Ashley’s fury was jealousy. He wondered if he’d had that in mind subconsciously when he appointed Paula.

  Up until now, the day had gone well. He was proud to have his family all around him at the inaugural activities. The luncheon was relaxed, and the toasts were good natured and friendly. Their time back at the residence visiting with family was like an oasis he’d discovered in the middle of a parched desert. As much as he enjoyed all of the pomp and circumstance surrounding his inauguration, he welcomed the time he was able to spend with his loved ones. He was completely relaxed and thoroughly enjoyed all of the good-natured kidding and joking even when he was the target.

  Everyone was excited about the balls. His schedule tentatively planned for him and Ashley to spend about thirty minutes at each one. Ashley and Sienna kept reminding Jeremy and Juliette to keep an eye on Samantha and act as her guardians.

  Jeremy joked, “Mom, Aunt Sienna, don’t worry about Sam. We’ll take good care of her, and I’m sure we can get a good price for her. Sam, don’t you need to add a little more makeup? We want you to look your best tonight.”

  Sam went along with everything her cousins said and did; they could do no wrong in her eyes. She idolized them as they did her.

  Ashley and Sienna didn’t respond to Jeremy’s outlandish remarks and deliberate baiting. They both were keenly aware that Jeremy and Juliette would be as protective toward Samantha as either of them would be. If anyone so much as even looked at Sam the wrong way, her cousins would descend upon them like archangels.

  The whirlwind of balls had been exhausting. Michael and Ashley tried to keep to their established timeline, and at each ball, after dancing with one another, they danced with a few others before moving on to the next ball. Photographers were everywhere and were having a field day taking pictures of the new president and his wife. They made such good copy. Not since the Kennedys had such a handsome couple sparked such interest by the entire country. They each had an abundance of charisma, so just a word or gesture of recognition was all that was needed to make those around them feel special and singled out.

  Naturally there was a great deal of speculation about the possibility that Ashley had changed her mind regarding her role as the First Lady. She’d been in Washington for almost a mo
nth, so it was only natural that rumors began to erupt about her intentions. Unfortunately the media had picked up the phrase in the caption under the picture of Ashley and Geoffrey Carruthers in New York, and the Reluctant First Lady nickname stuck. Ashley had come to terms with it; Michael had not.

  From what Ashley had told him so far, it wasn’t until they were at their sixth ball that a problem arose between her and Paula. He’d noticed the two of them deep in conversation but assumed they were catching up on gossip from California. The battle of wills that was being played out never occurred to him.

  After all of Michael’s ruminations, he finally answered Ashley. “No, honey, I didn’t realize there was a problem, and I certainly wouldn’t expect you to ignore rudeness or sarcasm, if in fact that was what it truly was. I’ll have to hand it to you; you did an excellent job of keeping your cool and not creating a scene or bringing any attention to the two of you, but are you sure Paula was being deliberately sarcastic?”

  Ashley rolled her eyes heavenward, her body language screaming “Give me a break.” “You mean, did I imagine it? Could it possibly be that Miss Holier-Than-Thou could be sarcastic to your wife when you so clearly believe that’s my best trait? I didn’t misunderstand her words or her intentions.”

  Michael thought, Deep water; tread lightly. “I know how keen your intuition is, but isn’t it reasonable for me to ask if it might be a misunderstanding?”

  “Possibly it’s reasonable for you to ask,” Ashley responded. “But you’ve been too busy these past weeks and days to notice her behavior, and you haven’t witnessed her comments to me. She makes sure she gets her digs in when you’re not around or you’re out of earshot.

  “I understand you’ve had a million things on your mind, so it doesn’t surprise me that you’re unaware of what’s been going on under your very nose. But if you had noticed Paula, you might have begun by noticing what she was wearing today, both at the inauguration and at the balls. Now, don’t start dismissing me before I’m finished. And don’t deny you are. I can see it from the expression on your face.

  “At the inauguration ceremony this morning, she wore a little red suit very reminiscent of Nancy Reagan. How very First Ladylike.”

  “Are you telling me you’re upset over what she was wearing?” Michael asked, confused. This had to be a woman thing. “Did you want to wear a red suit?”

  “Dear God, please give me the self-control not to hit my husband over the head with some sharp object. Of course I don’t want to start wearing suits, red or any other color. I hate suits, but that’s not the point. Just listen.

  “At the balls, she wore a very traditional ball gown designed especially for the occasion. She looked more like the expected First Lady than I did. Still, I ignored her obvious attempts to replace me in your eyes. She was silently screaming to you, ‘See how much better I would be as your First Lady.’”

  “Let me get this straight,” Michael interrupted. “You and Paula had words over what she was wearing and the fact that you felt she was trying to act like the First Lady, a job you’ve clearly indicated you have no wish to fill.”

  “Would you give me a little credit, Michael? It’s not just what she was wearing although your last statement seems to indicate to me that you wouldn’t care if she did start acting like the First Lady, but I’ll come back to that. No, there’s a little more to it than what she was wearing.

  “Finally, at the last ball, Paula and I had a chance to talk in private for a few minutes. In the beginning, our conversation was mostly chitchat about San Francisco and home, but she had that aloof, superior attitude she always has dangling around her neck like the Hope Diamond. But, the kicker is, she said she just couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t want to serve with you in the White House. And you can insert here her very fake attempt to look naïve and innocent, fluttering eyelashes and all. She mentioned what a disappointment it was for you that I had declined to be the First Lady. Did she stop there? Oh, no. She went on to say what a joy it was to work in your administration and how she intended to make you proud that you hired her. Then again, she asked as sweetly as possible—insert another fake smile here—how could I pass up the opportunity to work alongside you?

  “You’re lucky I didn’t throttle her on the spot. I explained patiently that I didn’t care for politics. To which she countered, she couldn’t understand why; it’s so exciting. I stressed how much I loved my job. To that, she said she felt I was very misguided. Finally I told her not every woman wants access to power through a man and that some women actually prefer to make their own mark in the world through their own work. I pointed out not all women wanted to live their lives in the shadow of their husband’s career, and as hard as it may be for her to understand, I love my job and see no reason to give it up. I asked her if I should expect you to give up your job to be with me.

  “Of course, she just smiled that insincere smile of hers and said any woman would be proud to stand at your side and share in your presidency. To which I replied, ‘Evidently not, since it’s not what I chose to do.’ I’m telling you, Michael, she’s got her eyes set on you, and it’s not for the role you’ve put her in. I think she’s looking to replace me as your wife.”

  “Do you think you could be overreacting just a bit? Remember she’s being paid to be the official White House hostess, and I’m sure she’s wearing the wardrobe she sees fit to go with her position. Plus, she and Connor are happily married.”

  Ashley raised an eyebrow. “Oh, really? Did you ever see Paula with Connor? In fact, did you even see him tonight?”

  “Not that I recall, but you know how it is at these events. There are so many people to see and talk to. It’s easy to miss someone.”

  “That is so typical of you, Michael. You’ve never been able to tell when some female is hitting on you. Your radar has always been tuned in to who might be coming on to me instead. Well don’t be surprised if one day you find her trying to put you in a compromising position from which she could benefit.”

  “Ashley, just because you don’t like Paula doesn’t mean she’s set her sights on me or that she’d behave in an inappropriate manner.”

  “I wouldn’t bet the farm on it. Women like Paula are used to getting what they want, and when they don’t get it, they’d rather see it destroyed than just leave it alone.”

  Michael was tired of this conversation. Ashley had always had great instincts. He usually trusted them, but he wasn’t sure she was right in this situation. He did know it wasn’t good to have Paula and Ashley at odds with one another. He thought he’d made it perfectly clear to Paula what was expected of her, and she seemed to grasp the situation he’d laid out.

  “Ash, I know you fully believe what you’re saying is true, but there is absolutely no chance of anything happening between Paula and me. In case I haven’t mentioned this to you before now, when I first discussed the position of director of protocol with Paula, I made it perfectly clear to her that the position would not—emphasis on ‘would not’—be replacing your rightful place as First Lady. I spelled it all out for her. I told her I didn’t want any position I created to take away your rightful place at my side and that I was only looking for someone to take over the responsibilities First Ladies typically have.”

  Ashley shook her head. “As smart as you are, sometimes you’re terribly dumb when it comes to understanding women and their motives. I appreciate the fact that you tried to be very clear in spelling out the parameters for the position to Paula and that you were trying to be considerate to me. But remember, you’re the one who’s always told me it’s not wise to be constantly in the company of a coworker of the opposite sex. That despite all of the good intentions of the parties involved, it could possibly set two people up for temptation.”

  “Sweetheart, you need to have more faith in me. There’s never been anyone for me but you. Plus, just so you know, Paula and I are hardly around one another at all at work.”

  “It’s not you I don’t have faith
in; you know that. Paula makes me crazy. I’ve never cared for her although I’ve always tried to be gracious to her because of all of the support her family has extended to you through the years, but I’ve always thought she was pampered and spoiled. In regards to Paula, the gloves are off, as far as I’m concerned, and I for one have no intention of putting them back on.”

  Ashley sat down in a chair opposite her husband and put her head in her hands. Michael heard an “Ah, shit” escape her lips.

  He got up and stepped behind her chair and began massaging her shoulders trying to relieve some of her tension. She’d been such a trouper this past month, matching her pace to his, and he’d been so proud to have her at his side. If only he could make her want to stay.

  He continued to massage the back of her neck and shoulders; he whispered in her ear, “There’s more, isn’t there? What aren’t you saying? What are you thinking?”

  “There’s so much I want to talk to you about, but as you pointed out, it’s after three in the morning, and we have an open house tomorrow. If we both don’t want to look and act like zombies, I think we’d better turn in. But, before I leave to go back to New York, we need to find some time to talk.”

  “Works for me; I’m dead on my feet. I promise you we’ll find time to talk through whatever’s bothering you before you leave.”

  Michael reached out and took Ashley’s hand and pulled her up into a standing position. “I’m afraid if I don’t drag you into the bedroom with me, you’ll fall asleep right where you sit.”

  “Wise man. Lead on.”

  At the end of another long and arduous day, Michael and Ashley had welcomed people to the White House, graciously extending goodwill to all. With so many events to fill their time, it was easy to forget what lay ahead. They hardly took notice of how quickly the day passed until they withdrew from their public personas and were faced with saying goodbye to their kids and Sienna’s family. Goodbyes were never easy, and this occasion was no different.