Chaos (Blackwell Bayou Series Book 1)

by Chelle C. Craze

  He reached for my hand and placed it onto her face, keeping his hand over mine. As she breathed, I counted the warm air blowing against my forearm.

  “Stay calm,” he murmured, but I wasn’t sure if he was talking to her or me.

  “Myra, meet Eris.”

  She whinnied and my fingertips quivered beneath his, but I didn’t jump. I’d heard of people spooking horses, and I didn’t want to do that. I forced my breathing to even out and planted my feet firmly to the ground, remembering to bend my knees slightly, so I wouldn’t lose consciousness. The blood drained from my face, and the sun blazed down on my skin to the point I swore it was hotter today than it had been any other day in my life. Anxiety creeped into my veins and delegated my pulse’s rhythm.

  “She’s nine months pregnant,” he chimed in a sense of adoration I’d never heard from him. I forced myself to breathe, and knowing she was expecting calmed my nerves some.

  “Wow,” was all I could muster, her eyes never leaving mine.

  Drex gave Myra’s face a light scratch and then pulled our hands away from her. She snorted in protest or because that was just what horses do. I had no clue.

  “When mares are pregnant, it’s common for them to become moodier than usual,” he explained to me and led us into the barn.

  A tall, clean-shaven man approached us, and he smirked. The glasses perched on the end of his nose almost went up to their correct spot on the bridge of his nose as his cheeks rose with a wide smile.

  “Dr—” barely had a chance to leave his mouth when Drex interrupted him.

  “We all know my name is Drex, Henry,” he dryly said in a bored tone, reminding me that he could be an asshole. “Eris, Henry. Henry, Eris,” he introduced us, waving his hand between the two of us.

  “Nice to meet you,” we said in unison, both probably trying to keep Drex’s mood from going further south than it already had.

  “Henry, could you help her get some riding gear while I check out Myra?” Drex asked. It didn’t sound much like a question, but more of a statement.

  “Could I help you?” I used the same tone he had with Henry, remembering this was how we normally behaved. I wasn’t trying to be an ass, but I came off as one and I knew it as soon as the words left my mouth.

  “You could.” He paused and leaned against the doorframe, crossing one foot over the other. “But, honestly, I didn’t think you’d want to. You seemed a little frightened by her, and she’s a little unpredictable right now.” His voice was calm and caring as he tried to explain he was only trying to keep me safe.

  “He’s right. I had to send his sister out to hunt him down because he wouldn’t return any calls. Myra won’t let me do much of anything, but she’s always liked him better anyway.” Henry backed up Drex’s story, both making me feel like an even bigger asshole.

  “I’m sorry I’m a shit.” I huffed in an attempt to backpedal a little. I needed to say it, if not for Drex’s sake, for Henry’s. Both Drex and I had our fair share of bad moments, but I didn’t want Henry to think I was always like this.

  “It’s okay. We’re all shits down here,” Henry said in a loud whisper and they both laughed. My curious eyes darted between both of their faces.

  “It’s an It reference,” Drex explained, but it meant nothing to me. I shrugged my shoulders in response.

  “She’s friends with Lexie,” Drex told Henry, pointing his thumb in my direction.

  “Ah. Makes sense,” he replied and walked a few steps away from where we all stood.

  “You coming?” he called to me over his shoulder as he stood in place, waiting on me to join him.

  I nodded my head and chewed on the corner of my lip, wondering why being friends with Lexie aka Courtney would even be an answer to my confusion. The words the men exchanged didn’t seem to give away a lot, but their body language said a lot. Both had a very relaxed stance, one you would have around a friend. Was it possible Drex had friends? Of course, he did. I was positive most people, other than myself, surrounded themselves with many people. Even the most foul of a person usually had at least one person who was as rude and negative as they were.

  Henry took me through a breezeway that connected the barn and a nearby building. He held the door open for me, and the cold air-conditioned air kissed my skin. Momentarily, I closed my eyes and stood just inside the door, soaking in the artificial air.

  “Lovely, isn’t it?” he all but moaned and mirrored my actions, curling his fingers on the door handle and securing it.

  “Mhm.”

  “Let’s get you some clothes. Your T-shirt should be fine. I’ll get your gloves, hat, pants, and boots.” He took off across the floor and disappeared into a doorway to the right.

  “I didn’t give you my sizes.” I cocked my head to the side and followed where he had gone, puzzled by his flighty actions. Henry wasn’t visible in the room full of riding attire. My fingertips ran along the jackets hanging and admired how soft they felt beneath my skin.

  As I rounded the rack, he popped out from the end of two aisles over from me. “These should fit.” He gleamed, shoving the clothes, hat, and boots into my arms when he was within arm’s length.

  “How?”

  “Did I know your sizes?” he finished my question after I’d checked the size of every item he’d given me. “I love clothes. If being a veterinarian hadn’t come so easily to me, I would have designed clothes. I make some of my own things.” He waved his hand down his flannel shirt and tight-fitting pants.

  “Huh,” I simply said, not really sure what to say. I’d met plenty of doctors here and there, and even a few veterinarians when Jaxson adopted a family of mice…a cat…and a dog. None of them looked or even behaved like Henry, but then again it seemed no one from this area was really like the people I knew from back home.

  Henry showed me where to change and informed me I could leave my clothes on the bench in the locker room. “No one here today should bother them,” he said. Although, the only people I saw here were Drex, Henry, and I.

  When I found my way back into the barn, Henry was gone, and I found Drex instead. Instantly, my mouth went dry. He wore a white long-sleeved shirt with a crisp collar and top buttons he’d left open, exposing his muscular chest. The black ink across his chest stared back at me, and I questioned the words I’d never given much thought to before now. “Conatus Sum.” The tips of blue waves crashed against the words, crying out the hidden meaning.

  My eyes traveled the length of his torso and then to the tight black pants he wore. They hugged his strong calves and left nothing to the imagination, which actually surprised me. I always assumed men wore cups when they rode a horse. The look was complete with matte finished black shoes with a small heel. I licked my lips, trying to wet them, desperate for a drink of water or anything really.

  Drex cleared his throat and my eyes darted to his face, which held humor behind squinted eyes. He smirked and scratched his jawline through his beard. He nodded toward the open barn doors and waited for me to reach him before he took a step. Perhaps life was about finding someone who took steps at your pace, not just their own.

  22

  Drex

  Day 40

  The water beaded down my arms and formed small streaks on the ink covering my skin. I watched as a droplet found the quill on my right shoulder and it fell onto the word “Destiny”. I got it as a reminder that I write my own destiny. Although, the blood and ink had barely dried before that proved horribly wrong. I stood beneath the warm shower, letting it massage my sore muscles and the memories of yesterday wash down my body.

  I regretted working out last night. I hadn’t lifted anything that wasn’t glass and held liquor in some time. In fact, I’d blown the dust off my bars before pressing them. I almost felt human after teaching Eris to ride Doris, so I actually felt inspired to work on myself. Great idea, wrong outlet, I guess. Maybe I shouldn’t have done so much in one sitting.

  After applying shampoo, a deep groan left my lungs a
s I scrubbed it from my hair. I bent to turn off the water and the muscles in my back burned in protest. I planned to surprise Eris at the diner today. Apparently, the way her schedule was set up this week, she worked a short shift of four hours today. Ironically, she would be getting off work thirty minutes before I’d promised Henry I’d fill in for him.

  Nevertheless, I’d promised Henry I’d come in more often since he’d carried my weight for a few years. Even if I didn’t know if I was ready, I owed him that much. He told me he was having trouble with his wife. I never liked her to begin with, but I wasn’t the one who married her, so it didn’t really matter too much. She didn’t seem all that into him when they met, until she found out he was a veterinarian. You could practically see the green dollar signs swell in her eyes and a cash register “ching” as soon as the word left Henry’s mouth. I tried to warn him she was only after his money, but he’s always been the romantic type. Something I probably would never understand. He’d chased after Lexie for years, but finally gave up when he and Maryanne, his wife, started getting serious. I never knew why Lexie wouldn’t date him. Hell, I rarely understood anything my sister did, so as a general rule I didn’t ask for a reason to her madness.

  For years, my life consisted of the same things. I was content. Meeting Eris tangled my serenity. She slowed the fast downward speed my life was spiraling and gave it a new direction. Although, like a gunshot into deep water, she’d barely touched the surface. There were things that lay at the pit of my soul, beneath my rough exterior, that I intentionally buried. Those were the things I hoped she’d never see. I was okay with being a drunk and doing the bare minimum. Yet, she’d proven to make me want more. I began expecting more of myself again. The monotonous life I’d led finally found light, and it was obvious my day-to-day wasn’t satisfying me anymore. I needed more from life now because of Eris. A fact I secretly appreciated, but most likely would continue to be an asshole, because that was who I was more often than not.

  Mulder, on the other hand, didn’t appreciate my newfound initiative. He kept pacing at my feet, hanging off the weight bench last night. He was ready for bed, and usually we would have lain down together. He eventually grumbled, as Pits do, and gave up, passing out on the floor in a ball. He never stayed in the bed, so I never figured out why he was so insistent to lie down at the same time. Truthfully, I think he just wanted me to be quiet so his sleep would go uninterrupted.

  After getting dressed and grabbing a cup of coffee, I ran my fingers along the mantle. Out of every inch of my house, no one touched this one spot, including me. Not that anyone had been here in some time to do so anyway. A clean strand followed my fingertip, where thick dust of a dark memory had just lain. Regret clenched its hateful grasp around my throat, and I fought as it seeped into my chest. Each beat of my heart pounded devastation into my bloodstream, and I felt it in every fiber of my being, every second of every day, and it was torturous. I knew why I’d avoided my mantle and the hat that set hooked by the rig and pole I’d caught it on and unforgivable guilt that would last an eternity. My finger stopped a foot away from the hat, and I closed my eyes, not capable of moving any farther. I was an idiot. A fucking idiot. Remorse sealed my mouth into a thin line and I stared at the ceiling, swallowing the self-hate and the tears that came along with it.

  Today was proving it wouldn’t be a good day to see Eris. The mood taking over me wasn’t one I cared to share with anyone, especially her. I wiped my mouth with my hand and ran it through the length of my beard as I tried to compose myself. In that moment, I knew I wasn’t seeing Eris today. A few different scenarios played in my head, each having the same horrible ending. Despite the world of the sorriest shades of gray I’d let my life drain into, Eris was the only thing that still held color. She was the only living and breathing soul in the field of ghosts stitched into my veins. I did not intend to rip apart her kaleidoscope heart today or ever, so I’d avoid her. She’d seen me lost in a bottle, but never lost in myself. This was the worst form of myself.

  I gritted my teeth and punched the wall a few feet away from the mantle, hating the memories, but not wanting to further disturb them. I despised that I’d lapsed and almost touched them. Pain shot from my knuckles and up my arm. Instead of cussing or screaming, which would have been a normal response, I laughed. Tears of shame dropped from my eyes as my knees met the grain of the hardwood flooring. Hysterical laughter trumpeted from the depths of my stomach; it was as if I had almost seen happiness with Eris, and then was reminded I didn’t deserve any amount of joy. No matter how small.

  23

  Eris

  The new girl Sam hired for the part-time position was quickly catching onto our routines. Once fully trained, she’d be covering the shifts left open by everyone’s vacation time. I’d shown her all of the tricks that every server should know. Currently, the ketchup and steak sauce lids were soaking in a container of scalding hot water to remove the residue from them, and we’d already wiped the excess from the tops of the bottles. Even though it wasn’t closing time, I helped her break down one of the fountain machines and a tea dispenser to teach her how to properly sanitize and reassemble them. She impressed even Sam when she switched out the pop syrup in the box like a pro. I had to say she really was doing great, and Sam may have finally hired someone worthwhile.

  Her biggest mistake was choosing to wear such a nice top. Sam didn’t give anyone a uniform top until you were out of your trial period, which varied from person to person. He lost money in the past by doing the opposite and giving new employees tops that they never returned, as they didn’t either.

  Her second mistake was walking into the exit door of the kitchen without yelling, “Wrong door.” It was a known fact in the food industry you needed to announce your error or you might end up colliding with someone else.

  Maki returned from vacation today, and she was notorious for heeding the directions of the doors as gospel. She never looked to see if someone was using the wrong door. The rest of us tended to share our love of misdirection and just looked before leaving or entering the kitchen. Not Maki.

  No amount of warning from my part could stop Maki’s hot plate of Gator on a Log, Sam’s version of an open-faced roast beef dish, from crashing with Desiree’s pale pink blouse.

  “Watch out!” rippled from my mouth in such a shrill tone I didn’t recognize my own voice. I tried to save her blouse—it wasn’t something I would wear, it was too pink and feminine, but I still hated to see it ruined.

  Mashed potatoes and gravy clung to the thin fabric, and some had even gotten on her face and hair. It was as if someone had taken the liberty of hitting the mute button on a gigantic remote because no sounds left anyone’s mouth in the diner. My eyes, like every other set in here, stopped on Desiree, awaiting her upcoming meltdown.

  We’d seen this happen many times before with new employees; most left immediately after. Hence, Sam losing money on uniform tops. Gretchen’s dish was spaghetti. Mine was Chicken Alfredo. We’d been the only two that stayed after wearing Maki’s “accidental” plate of food. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that Maki had always done it on purpose. It was her way of weeding out the weak.

  Desiree’s tongue slid outward and circled her lips, cleaning the food surrounding them from her skin. They then puffed out into their fullness as she smiled in satisfaction. I cocked my head in confusion and raised an eyebrow as I glanced through the doorway and into the back of the house at Ray. He swirled his finger inches away from his temple, indicating what he’d told me earlier this morning before Desiree arrived.

  “She’s crazy. I’m telling you, girl,” he whispered as she went into the office with Sam to fill out paperwork. He stirred the ingredients for biscuits around in a gigantic metal bowl and set it to the side, prepping the biscuit pans by brushing a mixture of butter and bacon grease onto them. If you were looking for healthy food, Dad’s Skillet wasn’t the right place for you. However, if you wanted to taste the best food your mouth had ever got
ten a chance to eat, Dad’s Skillet was the perfect place for you to dine.

  “You don’t know that,” I said just to defy what he was saying, when in all honesty, I didn’t care either way. Using an oven mitt, I placed the pans into the double deck oven, closing the door after all six pans were on a shelf.

  “I do. Eyes show people’s souls, and that one has a wickedness behind hers,” his deep voice warned as he pinched his fingertips together and flung them fully open, releasing a tiny bit of flour into the air. Ray was very superstitious. He claimed it to be his natural Creole roots that made him more sensitive to things than other people. I knew better. He was just overly dramatic, but if he weren’t, he wouldn’t be Ray.

  We argued back and forth until she was in earshot and returning to my side for more training.

  He nodded his head at me through the open space and nodded toward Desiree, who continued to hold the entire diner’s attention. The fact she didn’t freak out only confirmed his suspicions. At least in his mind it did. It did nothing for me. After all, Maki’s plate hadn’t sent me running out the door either.

  “That’s some damn good gator,” Desiree announced, elongating each word, and looked up into the mirror no one used and usually forgot it was even there. Sam added a mirror above the walkway to prevent situations like this from happening after the last “new girl” threatened to sue the diner.

  “You’re right, Raymond Landry. I’m crazy,” she called him out on the actions we’d thought he’d only shared with me. My eyes widened. She was ballsy, and I liked it, but it made me a little uneasy, too. There was no way someone who’d only been on the shift for three and a half hours would know his last name. Just as I almost began to give in to Sam’s superstitions, Desiree debunked them.