by Helen Rolfe
Veronica savoured the sweet taste of the carrots, some from Charlie and Layla’s garden after Charlie had dropped a bag over this morning, the others from the supermarket to make up the numbers. ‘Did you see the teddy bear I knitted for Layla?’ she asked.
They both looked obediently over to the sofa where three bears were sitting all in a row.
Audrey smiled. ‘They’re cool, Gran. Are they all going to the Teddy Bear Drive for Layla’s kindness calendar?’
‘They most certainly are, and I’ve got another halfway finished.’ At least Layla and her kindness calendar gave them all some common ground, something to talk about that didn’t involve discussing or even hinting at their own faulty dynamics. Even Sam seemed to take a bit of an interest. ‘I could teach you to knit if you’d like, Audrey,’ offered Veronica.
‘I’m not sure if it’s my thing.’
‘Nonsense.’
‘It was never mine.’ Sam’s eyes were on her dinner but when she looked up she must’ve realised how off she had sounded. ‘Sorry, but it wasn’t. Remember you tried to teach me on pencils?’
‘That’s right,’ Veronica chuckled. ‘I think that was my downfall. You saw it as a joke and never wanted to carry on after that.’
When there was a knock at the door, Audrey leapt up. She’d got through her lunch quickly enough in anticipation of her appointment. ‘That’ll be Tanya… the hairdresser,’ she said by way of explanation to Sam. ‘I’ll get her settled then come back and help clear up.’
‘I thought Audrey used the salon in the high street,’ Sam wondered when Audrey left them to it to show Tanya upstairs. The girl was doing door-to-door service for a haircut so the bathroom was the best place.
Veronica relayed what Audrey had told her about Tanya setting up on her own. ‘It’ll save Audrey money for a start – some of these places charge a fortune.’
‘Now there’s something I can get on board with,’ Sam smiled.
Veronica offered more glazed carrots to Sam, who hadn’t eaten anywhere near as much dinner as she should, but she declined. ‘You seem tired.’ Was she allowed to make a comment like that? It had come out before she could think too much about it.
To Veronica’s relief, Sam smiled tentatively. ‘It’s the extra shifts I’m doing, but I need the money right now and I’ll be off for a couple of days next week.’
‘That’s good.’ She knew better than to offer financial help again. She didn’t want to give Sam any further cause to avoid conversation, and denting her pride would definitely do that.
‘I’m enjoying being there far more than I ever thought I would.’
‘Really?’ This was progress, Sam offering titbits of information voluntarily, and Veronica knew it was a promising sign. She suspected Charlie’s presence had a lot to do with it. Not just because there was an obvious attraction between the pair but that it showed Sam her mother wasn’t all bad – some people actually liked her.
‘It’s different,’ Sam went on, ‘and I think “different” is what I needed. Perhaps it’s what everyone needs now and then; it seems to have worked for Audrey with her schooling, and I think once I find a place to live I’ll feel even more settled.’
‘How’s the house-hunting going?’
‘It’s proving quite difficult.’
‘I blame the schools in this area – they draw families here.’ Veronica finished her last piece of cabbage she’d added to the meal, thinking Audrey wouldn’t touch it. But she’d eaten the entire lot. She had the appetite of a teen, the figure of a model, just like Sam had been at that age – hollow legs, they used to say.
‘I got my hopes up earlier when the agent called to say he had a brand new flat available. I wanted to yell at him when he told me it was one bedroom. It’s down near the river, lovely views, would’ve been perfect.’
‘You know you could always let Audrey stay here.’ She would never have thought when the sullen teen turned up on her doorstep in the summer that she’d end up enjoying her company, let alone want more of it. It seemed every time she got a little injection of companionship into her life whether it be Charlie, Layla or Audrey and now Sam, she wanted it to flood her body, stay with her always, an antidote for the loneliness she hadn’t realised she’d been feeling for so many years because she’d simply got used to it. The four walls of her home had become enough, they’d embraced her in a comforting safety blanket. The television, the odd caller, a handful of telephone conversations and her bookshelves and house plants had kept her going, but lately Veronica had begun to feel as though perhaps she needed more. Quite how she was going to get more when she wouldn’t leave her home and garden, she wasn’t sure.
‘I’d rather have her with me,’ Sam admitted.
She was probably worried Veronica would ruin Audrey’s life like she’d ruined Sam’s. ‘Well, the offer’s there.’
Veronica busied herself clearing the plates, swishing away Sam’s offer to do it for her. She didn’t like to say that perhaps both Sam and Audrey needed their space; it had worked doing that in the summer and now they were in closer proximity, the tension was back. But she couldn’t give her opinion. She’d be the last person Sam would take parenting advice from given the monumental mess she’d made of bringing up both her children.
‘I appreciate the offer, Mum,’ Sam said softly at her shoulder as she stood at the sink rinsing the plates. Sam took them from her one at a time and slotted them into the bottom rack of the dishwasher, and for a moment it felt as if they were working together, putting everything to rights.
They heard Audrey’s laughter coming from upstairs, and Sam glanced at the ceiling. ‘She seems happier here.’
‘I’m glad I could help. I know you must want to get out as soon as you can, but don’t feel you have to.’
‘I’m thirty-nine, I need to have a place of my own.’
‘I know you do. But…well, we’re getting into our groove, aren’t we?’
Sam’s laughter broke the tension. ‘Yes, I suppose we are.’
Sam had gone out for a long walk before meeting Clare to go to the pub and Veronica had almost forgotten Tanya was even in the house until Audrey came downstairs to show off her new haircut.
‘Beautiful,’ Veronica complimented. The short pixie cut with a fringe trimmed but styled to sit right above her eyebrows suited her and drew attention to defined cheekbones that Veronica would’ve loved to have had at her age.
‘I’m going to add a bit of colour next time,’ Audrey declared, admiring herself in the hallway mirror.
‘Dear God, not pink or blue or anything like that, please.’
‘No chance, something tasteful that enhances my natural colour. You should add a bit of colour to yours.’
Veronica didn’t disguise her amusement. ‘What a waste of time. Nobody’s going to see it apart from me, well, and you, your mum, Layla, Charlie.’
‘Gran, never mind anybody else, do it for you.’ Audrey perched on the arm of the chair and Veronica noticed some magazine clippings in her hand. ‘Here, Tanya is touting for business and gave me these taken from a magazine I flipped through while she was doing my hair. These women, all a similar age to you, they look really good.’
‘They’re all beautiful, I agree.’
‘And so are you. Come on, Tanya’s desperate to build up her client base, and think about it: if you get a haircut tonight and let me do your make-up too, you’ll be able to cross off the item on Layla’s kindness calendar.’
Veronica’s interest piqued. She so wanted to be involved with as much of the kindness calendar as she could. She swore something seemingly insignificant had brought a sense of joy to this house she could never have predicted. It sounded silly, she’d never say so out loud, but every time they dealt with another item on the calendar, it gave her an uplifting feeling she thought she’d lost for good. And calling it The Kindness Club on Mapleberry Lane made it feel real, like she was part of something important. They’d even taken to having their own colour to c
ross off tasks – a red pen for Layla, blue for Veronica and green for Audrey.
‘It’s years since I’ve had it cut,’ said Veronica. ‘Tanya won’t want to work on an old maid like me.’
‘Rubbish, she does or she wouldn’t have suggested it. And if you do this, we’ll get Layla over to see the results, she’ll be amazed.’
‘I don’t know.’ She touched a hand to her hair. Grey, wiry, lacking anything resembling oomph, it had simply become easier to pin it all back into a bun and ignore it.
Tanya chose that moment to appear. ‘Hey, Mrs Bentley.’
‘It’s Veronica,’ she told her. ‘Come in, I don’t bite. Audrey has told me this idea of yours but I’m a bit old for primping and all that business.’
‘You’re not at all,’ Tanya smiled, the gap between her front teeth endearing. ‘I hope Audrey isn’t pressuring you; she’s trying to support me and get others on board because the more clients I have, the better reputation I’ll build. I’ve got an eighteen-month-old at home, I’m doing this for him really, so I can be with him more often rather than tied to shop-opening hours.’
Veronica asked a bit about her little boy. She didn’t look much older than Audrey, blonde hair wound up into a chignon with a few arty strands at either side, mascara precision-applied to open up trusting eyes. But it was the nervousness that made her appear younger and Veronica was reminded of the times she’d panicked when she was in situations she couldn’t read. This was nothing like that of course, but she felt for the girl who was doing her best for her young family, and it was Tanya’s next remark that clinched it.
‘It really would be a very kind thing to do if you could help me out, Veronica.’ Tanya took the mug of tea Audrey had made for her. It seemed she wasn’t in a hurry to get going.
‘Well, maybe just a trim,’ Veronica relented.
‘No chance,’ said Audrey the second Veronica stood up. With one hand on her bag, she guided her out of the room towards the stairs. ‘This is a makeover, let’s go for it.’
Halfway through the transformation, Veronica had looked down and seen the amount of hair pooling on the floor. She’d closed her eyes then, letting Audrey’s warm voice wash over her, keeping her calm. Tanya even had some colour in her kit and added something called lowlights in an ash blonde that blended beautifully with the silvery grey already there. By that point Veronica had given up asking questions; she’d let the girls make the decisions, she’d put her faith in them. Tanya had mixed peculiar colours that Veronica tried not to worry about, she moved deftly with her comb, painted strands of her hair before wrapping them up in foil that looked like what she’d used to cover the beef earlier. But all the while Veronica had uttered the mantra in her head that she should just go with it. She should trust Audrey and Tanya, and think of what Layla was going to say when she’d proven she could be a part of The Kindness Club as much as anyone else could. Imagine how she’d feel crossing the item off the calendar with her blue pen.
The girls hadn’t let Veronica see her hair until after it was finished. Instead, Audrey had taken her to her bedroom for make-up and removed the mirror so she was still in the dark. In the meantime Tanya had been in charge of more cups of tea, hanging around to see the final results, and by mid-afternoon it was time for the big reveal.
Standing in the downstairs hallway with her hands over her gran’s eyes, Audrey asked, ‘Are you ready?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘Gran, this is a good thing.’
‘Is it?’ With her eyes squeezed shut she wasn’t so sure.
‘Gran…’ Audrey had a hold of her hand. ‘This is the start of you thinking a little bit about yourself.’
‘That all sounds far too self-indulgent.’
‘It’s not, it’s something you need to do. For yourself, for me, promise me you’ll start thinking about what you need and what you want. I mean it, Gran.’
Veronica, eyes still closed, took a deep breath. ‘I promise.’
‘I’m going to need that in writing,’ Audrey giggled. ‘Now, are you ready?’ She made a theatrical noise like a drum roll.
She could do this, she could think about a way forwards. Even if it was within these walls, things could still change, couldn’t they? And now she’d promised Audrey, maybe she’d have to put in extra effort to ensure they did.
‘Come on, Gran, would you open your eyes already!’
Veronica knew the hallway mirror was there in front of her and when she opened her eyes she was going to look different to earlier that day when the usual image had sailed past the glass, not giving her cause to pause. Since then her hair had been done and Audrey had fixed her make-up, going for a natural but thickening lashline, brightening her eyes – whatever that meant – and curling lashes. Veronica hadn’t used make-up in years. She only hoped they hadn’t made her look like a clown. She didn’t want to scare Layla half to death.
‘Too late to back out now,’ Audrey said, doing the drum roll again.
‘Yes, I suppose it is.’ She could hear Tanya getting excited too and caught up with the moment, Veronica opened her eyes.
‘Gran, what do you think?’ Audrey, smiling, peered in the mirror alongside her, but her smile faded.
Veronica couldn’t speak. Audrey had even made her put on her favourite top – a soft teal, wool top with a high neck. And the woman looking back at her now wasn’t a woman she knew anymore. She hadn’t known this woman for years. Her hair cut short at the back but with wispy layers on top and at the sides looked more elegant than her bun ever did, and the colour in it warmed her skin rather than leaving it washed out like it usually felt. It was quite the transformation.
‘You hate it.’ Audrey panicked because she’d seen the tears forming.
‘What you’ve done…it’s…it’s…’
‘I’m so sorry, Mrs Bentley.’ Tanya was at her side, her hand touching her arm.
‘Gran, I just wanted to help.’
Veronica shook her head as a lone tear trickled down her cheek. Audrey came to her other side and touched her arm as they all stood there looking in the mirror. Veronica finally said, ‘What you’ve done is … well, it’s nothing short of amazing. I love it. I don’t know quite how to thank you.’
Layla and Charlie couldn’t believe it when they turned up later that afternoon. Charlie was obviously looking for Sam who was out and about, but Veronica supposed the sight of her standing here in the kitchen was enough of a distraction.
‘You look beautiful!’ Layla enthused.
‘You really do, Veronica.’ Charlie kissed her on the cheek. ‘Who did this to you?’
‘Guilty,’ said Audrey. ‘And the other person was Tanya, but she’s gone home now so you’ll have to blame me.’
Veronica hugged her granddaughter again, already disappointed that come tonight she’d have to take the make-up off and go to bed.
But so many people she cared about were around her now. And when Layla unrolled the kindness calendar, which had taken to being kept here at the ‘club headquarters’, she, Veronica and Audrey looked at the square in question and watched as Gran used her blue pen to put a line through it. A cheer erupted in the kitchen before Charlie whisked Layla away to a friend’s birthday party at a local soft play centre.
Veronica made mugs of tea for herself and Audrey. ‘I feel like a different person.’
‘You’ve always been the same person underneath.’ Audrey blew across the top of her tea. ‘You were hiding away, that’s all, and now you look amazing, Gran.’
‘I do, don’t I?’ she grinned. ‘My neck feels bare with this hair-do though.’
‘I know that feeling from when I chopped off my hair, but it suits you. So does the make-up. You have cheekbones, Gran.’
‘I thought they were long gone!’ She noticed her reflection in the wall oven when she passed by to sit at the table with Audrey.
‘Not gone, always there, just needed a little encouragement to show themselves, that’s all.’
; They spent the next half hour chatting away. Audrey had a new friend called Vicky and not only that, she was interested in a boy. His name was Alex and according to Audrey, he was popular, handsome and he’d even smiled at her a few times.
‘You’re really settling in here, aren’t you?’ Veronica only dared to hope this was a sign of things to come. If only she and Sam had been able to have such frank conversations.
Audrey smiled. ‘I feel like I am.’
‘Hopefully one day you’ll get to put make-up on models or TV stars rather than a little old lady like me,’ Gran concluded, collecting the mugs and leaving them in the sink.
‘I don’t mind who it is, as long as I get to do it.’
‘I feel bad you worked so hard, and Tanya did.’
‘We didn’t mind and you paid Tanya; she was only too happy to do it and build her business. No need to feel guilty.’
But she did. ‘You worked hard and nobody will get to see the results, not apart from those who come here, and that list is hardly long.
Audrey ignored the remark and instead looked again at the calendar. ‘There’s so much on here that you can do, Gran. This one, for example.’
‘“Get to know the local community”? That’s not a good one for me, Audrey.’ Her heart sank. She’d never be able to tick off many items from the calendar at this rate and she’d already heard Layla going on about having all three coloured lines on all of the allotted squares if she possibly could. But how could Veronica make that happen?
‘Nonsense,’ Audrey batted back. ‘Come with me.’ She beckoned Veronica to follow her upstairs.
Veronica sneaked another glance in the mirror at this woman whose life was changing with every passing day. In Audrey’s bedroom she sat on the bed and waited for Audrey to clear more of a space at her desk that more often than not resembled more of a make-up station. She ran downstairs and brought up another chair, positioned her laptop and flipped it open.
‘What are we doing?’
‘When I was walking past the newsagents a few days ago, I saw a sign in the window advertising the Mapleberry Village Residents Group on Facebook.’