by Helen Rolfe
‘I don’t use things like Facebook. I can do emails, that’s about it.’
Audrey pointed to one of the chairs. ‘Sit, you’re about to get a crash course.’
Veronica found her granddaughter most persuasive and within minutes she had a Facebook profile – no photograph as yet – and Audrey had given her a rundown of how to navigate the social media site. It was complicated, Veronica knew she wouldn’t remember half of it, but Audrey said any time she had questions, fire away, and she even left a bit of a cheat sheet with simple tips such as her password – kind of essential – and what the symbols at the top of the screen were for, for her to look at if Audrey wasn’t around.
‘So I can find anybody on here, anyone I like?’ Veronica wanted to know.
‘Sure. I mean a lot of people have privacy settings that won’t allow you to view much about them, but you can find out enough. Here, let’s search on Mum.’
‘Your mum is on this?’
‘Of course. Go on, type in mum’s name and surname.’
Veronica did as she suggested and she grinned when not only did a few unknown faces appear, but also her daughter’s. ‘Now what do I do?’
‘You can ask her to be friends with you, if you like.’ When Veronica hesitated at doing anything, Audrey went on. ‘Gran, you don’t have to be one of those people who shares photos and details all the time like some of the people I’ve shown you. Why don’t you lurk for a while as you get used to it?’
‘Lurk? You make me sound like a criminal. And I don’t understand how this will help me to fulfil the “Get to know your local community” item on the calendar.’
With a few more taps on the keyboard, Audrey had navigated her way to the Mapleberry Village Residents Group and clicked on Join.
‘Did you just…’
‘I joined you up, yes. You live here. I joined too and so far I haven’t posted anything. This will let you explore a bit, find out who your neighbours are, discover a bit about Mapleberry and things that go on. Here, let’s sign you out and me in.’ She changed over to her own account and went into the group under her own name. ‘You can scroll through and have a look for yourself.’
Audrey left her to have a tinker around, and scrolling down the group didn’t seem all that bad. It had over a thousand members who belonged, and so many names had posted that Veronica thought she’d never remember them all. Some people were selling old toys, one was advertising his plumbing business, another asked for recommendations for a painter and decorator and it had got more than sixty responses!
She kept on scrolling, it went on for ever and ever.
‘You having fun, Gran?’ Audrey delivered her another cup of tea.
Veronica was smiling. She’d stopped all the way down the group feed at a post from December last year.
‘Whoa, you must’ve had to go through hundreds of posts to get that far back,’ said Audrey.
‘This is the Christmas tree last year. There’s always one on the field, or some call it the green, out past the end of Mapleberry Lane, the end past the high street. I’d forgotten how beautiful it was.’ The autumn winds rattled the window pane as though to remind them both that Christmas wasn’t all that far away and the seasons were gearing up for a change.
‘I’m looking forward to seeing it,’ Audrey smiled.
Veronica tried to focus on the video below, on the tree and the green space, and the faint sounds of carols in the background. The sounds of a season she’d loved right up until her own world fell apart. Then it had only reminded her of what she’d lost and even Layla begging her to have a tree last year hadn’t worked.
‘Let’s go back into your Facebook, Gran, see if they’ve approved your joining request.’ With a few taps on the keyboard, they were back there as Gran kept her brain in gear remembering her password. She scrubbed it off the cheat sheet. ‘It’ll keep my mind active, having to remember it, and besides, you should never write passwords down.’
‘You’re right,’ Audrey replied as Veronica typed in her details and once she was into her account, the notification was already there to say her request had been accepted.
‘I’m not sure I want to write anything just yet.’
‘It’s all totally up to you.’
But Veronica wasn’t daft. She knew, like most things, the more you put into it, the more you got out of it. ‘Look at this post,’ she said, peering closer to the screen, ‘it’s from Carole who works in the bakery to let everyone know she’s taking maternity leave. I remember her, she was always nice to me.’ Veronica could also remember the panic attack one morning out front and Carole taking her home on her arm, shutting up shop to do so, thinking not of herself but of someone else. She’d been kind that day and Veronica had never forgotten it. ‘I’m going to send my best wishes.’
‘Go for it!’
Veronica typed a short message into the comments wishing Carole well, saying she hoped to hear news of the addition to her family soon.
Audrey beamed. ‘See, you’re getting to know your local community already. And you met Tanya today too, she’s local, so that’s someone else. Gran, I do believe you’re really doing this.’
Veronica supposed that in a weird way, she actually was.
Veronica woke before midnight needing the loo. It must have been all the tea she and Audrey got through yesterday evening as they chatted and then had another play with Facebook. Sam was out at the pub with Clare, Layla would’ve been in bed hours ago, and she and Audrey had sat in the study and looked at the various social media – some odd, some useful. There were even book groups she could join and talk about current reads. Veronica saw she could be a part of something more without having to think about leaving the house. She wasn’t sure she would ever be ready for that but Veronica wasn’t daft, she knew that’s what Audrey was trying for and she wasn’t about to disappoint her granddaughter by telling her it might never happen.
Veronica was heading back to her room when she noticed a light coming from downstairs. She realised Sam must be home and when she reached the kitchen, her daughter was standing at the sink facing the window. And if Veronica wasn’t mistaken, she was crying.
‘Sam?’ she said softly so as not to wake Audrey. ‘Sam, what’s happened?’
Sam had her back to her, her blonde hair pinned up with wet strands dangling down, the bunched collar of her snuggly dressing gown wrapped around her neck. ‘I’m losing her, Mum.’
‘Whatever are you talking about? Losing who?’ She wanted to hug her close, comfort her, but they had never been physically affectionate, not since Sam was six or seven and she’d needed her mother’s loving arms around her. Then her father’s arms had taken their place and that was that.
‘I’m losing Audrey.’
Sam turned and after wiping away her tears noticed the change. ‘Mum, your hair…it’s gone.’
Veronica smiled. ‘It has. What do you think?’
‘About time,’ was all Sam said, and managed a little laugh through tears.
‘Audrey did my make-up too. I’ll get her to do it again sometime so you can see the finished results for yourself.’
‘I’d really like that.’
‘Come, sit down over here.’ She led them over to the table, hoping Sam would open up to her. Her daughter didn’t take much prompting.
‘Audrey wants to go to New Zealand.’
‘To see her dad?’
‘To live with her dad.’
A familiar feeling of panic rose within Veronica. She couldn’t let that happen, not now. She was inside, in her house, she was safe. She had to keep that in her head for Sam. ‘She’s never mentioned a thing to me.’
‘Nor to me either. She’s thrown it at me a few times in anger over the years, but I figured all kids do that so I never took it seriously, until I found some leaflets and books in her room.’ She shook her head and swore loudly. ‘I’ve emailed Simon to ask him exactly what’s going on. I need to know what plans have been made, how far they are al
ong, what formal applications with regards to visas have been lodged.’ She shook her head and swore loudly but the anger turned to tears again. ‘This is all such a mess.’
Veronica handed her a tissue and waited for her to calm down. There wasn’t much she could say; she knew what it felt like to lose a child, to have a distance between you that was so vast you couldn’t possibly reach the other side. And when Sam’s tears showed no signs of drying up, Veronica did the only thing she could think of.
She pulled Sam into a hug for the first time in years.
And for once, Sam let her.
Chapter Six
Veronica
After breakfast the next day, the hug with Sam still at the forefront of Veronica’s mind, she felt as though a warmth had wrapped comfortingly around her shoulders for the first time in years. And despite the worry over what Audrey was going to do – or more to the point, what Simon was up to – Veronica felt as though these walls were finally filled once again with family. A real family. She’d woken this morning thinking it might have all been a dream until Sam smiled at her and said ‘Good morning’ in a cheery tone that suggested she’d also felt something shift the night before as she’d poured her heart out.
It was as they cleared the breakfast dishes that Sam came up with an idea that very nearly floored Veronica. Layla had just finished her piano practice, Audrey was packing her school bag and Veronica was washing up when Sam confided that the Mapleberry Mug was looking tired these days and in need of a bit of attention. ‘The paint around the menu board is peeling, same with the door leading out to the kitchen, the sofas and tables all look dull and in need of a lift.’
Up until now Veronica had hardly dared to hope her daughter was becoming a part of Mapleberry, but this surely showed she was. Sam’s boss had given her a lot more than a job, she’d given her friendship, another person Sam’s own age, another mum to hang out with and a way to escape the four walls of the house.
‘Perhaps Clare will give it a makeover in the new year,’ Veronica suggested.
‘Like our makeovers,’ Layla chimed. She’d done her piano practice already, filling the house with tunes that these days had Audrey humming away rather than complaining.
Veronica winked at Layla. ‘Yes, I suppose it is a bit.’
Sam found a plastic container to put in a couple of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies for Layla to take to school and handed a couple to Audrey to slot into her packed lunch. ‘That’s the thing – she wants to do a makeover, but doesn’t have the money. I was thinking after I saw some of the items on the kindness calendar – helping a local, make something for someone, help with housework – that perhaps we could work together and tick off a few of those tasks together.’
Layla was all ears of course, even distracted from the heavenly scent of cookies. Veronica, never much of an actor, did her best to hide her surprise at Sam’s reference to the calendar, her hands still immersed in the warm soapy water she’d used to wash one of the mugs that couldn’t go in the dishwasher.
‘That’s a really kind idea, Mum.’ Audrey was no actor either and surprise was written all over her face. If only this girl knew what her plans with her dad were doing to her mum. Would it change her mind at all?
Layla was already getting excited about the items they could tick off the calendar and with a promise they’d make some plans straight after school, Veronica persuaded her it was time to go. Audrey was walking her there today and the little girl couldn’t be more excited, and if Veronica wasn’t mistaken, Audrey seemed to enjoy being in charge of a surrogate sibling.
That evening they all sat around the table and made their plans, Sam clearly mindful of involving Audrey but trying not to boss her about. In fact, she’d let Audrey lead some of the planning. Veronica was to be in charge of knitting some new cushion covers, some in purple and others in yellow, to inject a little colour to the worn sofas at the café. Sam would go and buy the actual cushions as well as the honeysuckle paint Audrey had suggested would work with the other décor already at the café. Audrey and Layla were all set to help with the painting so they planned to get all their homework done in good time and Sam had somehow persuaded Clare’s children to muck in after hours the day after tomorrow.
Veronica longed to be at the Mapleberry Mug to see it all finished, to witness the look on Clare’s face when she opened up the café. Well before school hours, Audrey, Sam and Layla had bundled over there together to see her reaction for themselves, and at least they’d taken plenty of photographs for Veronica.
‘She was thrilled,’ Sam reported the minute she returned from the café after her shift. They were having a cup of tea and Sam was putting her feet up before going back to meet Clare for a celebratory glass of wine at the pub. ‘And she loved the cushion covers.’
‘I’m pleased.’ Veronica had knitted faster than she’d ever done before to get them all finished, but seeing the photographs of the transformation now, her handiwork on the sofas as well as the new paint on the walls around the counter, she felt a part of it all.
Sam, mug of tea clasped between her palms, smiled. ‘Audrey has changed so much since she came here. That’s a good thing,’ she added. ‘I was really proud of her last night; she was bossing Clare’s kids around even though they’re a lot older, she made sure it all got done and nobody cut any corners. She had one of them polishing the coffee machine until you could see your reflection in it.’
‘I can well imagine she had you all organised. You should be very proud of her.’
‘I am.’ A look passed between them both before Sam finished her tea. ‘Now, do you mind if I take over the bathroom? I want to relax before I go back out again to meet Clare.’
‘Help yourself. You and Clare get on well.’
‘We do – I couldn’t ask for a better boss and even though Jilly and I go way back, Clare and I seem to have really hit it off.’
‘I’m pleased for you.’
Veronica sat and finished her tea as Sam went upstairs. And when Audrey finally barrelled through the door after doing homework at her friend Vicky’s, she put the kettle on again and this time Veronica enjoyed the company of her granddaughter, who seemed to be blossoming right before their very eyes. And, it seemed, so was her mum.
Charlie had stopped by the house a lot before Sam came to Mapleberry, but he was round even more often these days. They were all in the hallway as he and Layla waved goodbye, Charlie talking about the café and how he’d like his regular table by the window at eleven o’clock today if Sam could possibly arrange it.
Veronica grinned as she filled the little watering can to feed the remaining houseplants in the lounge. Layla had done a few of them already after they’d finished their secret piano lesson and before her dad came over nice and early to walk her to school. Nice and early to see Sam more like, and Veronica loved to see the pair of them getting close. He and Sam were alike in more ways than one, solo parenting, both doing right by their children and putting their own happiness second at best. And Charlie was a far better man that Simon had ever been. Not that Simon was a bad man: he was easy on the eye, friendly enough, held down a good job, and provided for wife and daughter. Until he’d left them to run off with someone else.
When Veronica found Sam in the kitchen, her daughter had a smile that could’ve taken the place of the sunshine outside if it had bothered to put in an appearance today. It was one of those grim autumn mornings where the only leaves on the pavement would be damp, the wind blew sideways and any beauty of autumn colours from the vantage point in her house tended to get overlooked by miserable black clouds passing overhead.
‘I’m off to work now,’ Sam told her, scooping up her keys and phone.
‘Enjoy your day,’ Veronica said, wishing she could be a fly on the wall to see how Charlie and Sam got on at their pre-arranged rendezvous. Maybe she shouldn’t call it that, but there was always hope.
Sam grinned. ‘I keep forgetting you’ve changed your hair and then I catch sigh
t of you and it takes me by surprise.’
‘You’re not the only one,’ said Veronica.
‘I’m pleased you did it.’
‘And I’m pleased that you’re pleased. And I emailed you Tanya’s contact details.’
‘Thanks, I’m desperate for an appointment – I’ll book her in now before I go to work and hopefully get a spot before the end of the week.’
Veronica mopped up the water around the base of her spider plant on the mantelpiece and then emptied out the remains of the watering can in the kitchen. She started to flip through her recipe book to see what to cook tonight. Audrey was supposed to be helping her so it couldn’t be anything that took too much time. For once Audrey was knuckling down. This new school had clearly been a bit of a magic ingredient, that and the discussions that had seen Sam suggesting that if she did well with her GCSEs then a college course of her choice would be a lot more likely.
When she looked up as Sam came back into the room, she knew something was wrong.
‘Bloody Simon,’ Sam cursed.
Veronica’s heart sank. ‘He’s got the visa, hasn’t he? He’s taking her away from us.’ Somewhere in the mess of all of this, Audrey had become a shared entity, a part of both their lives, and Veronica would be heartbroken if she left.
Sam looked as though her mind was racing at a million miles an hour and couldn’t quite let anything else into her head right now. ‘What? No, no he’s not.’
‘Then what’s the matter?’
‘He hasn’t put any of the wheels in motion.’
‘Well, that’s good isn’t it? You don’t want her to go – perhaps between them they’ve decided it’s not the best decision.’
‘No, it’s not that. Audrey is still looking into it, still pestering him to help her do it.’ She swore again, very unladylike but this was no time for manners. ‘He wrote back to me and said he loves Audrey, but he doesn’t want her to go and live with him. He says he’s started a new life, he’s married to someone else now and they have two kids. He says this won’t work.’