by Stacey Lynn
“And then we’ll leave,” I stated. Because we would. Even if it was the middle of the night. We were getting out of this shithole town and this damn cabin as fast as we could.
Cops would swarm the damn restaurant soon, and even though it’d been fairly empty, it wouldn’t take long for someone to start talking.
Tossing Johnny a glare that said I wasn’t fucking around, I headed back to the bedroom.
Meg shifted onto her side and a low moan passed her lips.
I clasped my hands to the back of my head and groaned.
So fucking innocent. Pretty. Soft. Curvy in all the right places.
My dick twitched in my jeans and I cursed.
“Fucking hell, getting hard by a woman passed out. New fuckin’ low.”
But I couldn’t stop myself.
Something about Meg had pulled me to her instantly. I wanted her to clean me up at the same time I wanted to dirty her…
Ruin her. Because it was what I did best.
Tonight in the restaurant, and then the alley, I had taken things too far and not far enough.
I had wanted to devour her as soon as her lips brushed against mine, all hesitant and trembling like she was terrified of me.
It should have held me back. But she pushed through and I was a damn goner.
She rolled to her back and moaned, a low, painful sound escaping her lips, and then I watched like a damn creeper as she gasped.
Her eyelids twitched and her fingers twisted into the sheets beneath her.
“No!” she screamed.
She flung herself up, and I was on the edge of the bed instantly, cupping her shoulders in my hands.
Her breathing ragged, I held her as her head flopped forward onto my shoulder.
“What the hell?” She gasped, sucking in a breath, her entire body shivering.
I gripped her tighter and wrapped my arms around her back.
“You’re okay,” I murmured, my hand running through her hair. I had cleaned her up as best as I could, but there were still places in her long hair that were matted together from the earlier bloodshed. “You’re safe, Meg.”
“Finn?” she asked, her voice dry and scratchy. She pulled back as if to move away, but I held her tighter.
“Shhh,” I whispered into her ear. “I have you.”
“Let me go.”
“Meg,” I started and felt her hands on my stomach.
She pushed back, and I had no choice. I couldn’t hold onto her if she wanted to get away.
Truthfully, away from me was the best place for her.
Her hand reached up and brushed strands of hair out of her eyes. They were only half-open and she was still catching her breath as she looked around the room.
Her whole body shook and her face fell into her hands.
Some sick part of me wanted to reach out and comfort her, but I knew I’d done too much already.
“Where’s Brayden?” she asked, her head snapping up and her eyes widening with fear. Her hands dropped to the sheets and her fingers dug in. “Oh my God, is he okay? Did they get him?”
I reached out and wrapped my hand around her forearm.
“Relax, Meg. He’s fine. He’s sleeping.”
She shook her head, but I grabbed her. Like hell she was leaving this bed. “I’ll bring him to you, but you need to rest. I’ve got your cut bandaged up, but if you move too much you could rip it open again.”
As if she’d forgotten, her hand flew to the side of her neck and the blood drained from her face.
“You need to be careful,” I reiterated and watched her slink away from me.
She blinked rapidly several times and stared at me.
“Are you okay?” It was a stupid fucking question, but fear flickered through her eyes before she flinched.
“I…I don’t know,” she muttered and lay back against the pillows. “I don’t remember what happened…after…”
“You passed out when I was getting you out of the alley,” I told her. My hands itched to run my fingers through her hair that was spread out all over my bed like a golden blanket. God, this woman had me twisted in knots. “You know what happened tonight, right?”
“Finn.” Her fingers gripped my arm. Her nails dug into my skin, but I didn’t flinch. I loved pain. Craved it.
“I know,” I said, stopping whatever freak-out she was going to have. “I heard it, I wasn’t gone for long before I realized leaving you alone was the dumbest decision I made tonight.”
“You saved me.”
Guilt hit my chest. I hadn’t saved her. I’d left her alone.
“Meg,” I warned and shook my head.
But I was caught off guard when she flung herself against my chest and her arms wrapped around my neck.
“You saved me,” she repeated and clung tighter to me.
“I didn’t, Meg.” I wrapped my hands around her arms to push her away, but she shifted and burrowed into me. “I let you get hurt.”
A sob ripped from her throat and her chest heaved. I felt it spear a pain directly from her chest into mine.
“I’m so fucking sorry I let that asshole get his hands on you.”
She shook her head and through her tears, she cried, “You didn’t. You saved me from anything worse happening.” She pulled back then and my gut lurched when I saw her tear-stained cheeks. Her soft palm reached up and brushed against my cheek. “You saved me.”
Her breath skated across my skin. We were close.
Too close.
But I couldn’t push her away.
“Finn.” Her head tilted to the side, exposing the bandage on her throat, and she leaned in until her lips were almost brushing against mine.
My hands tightened on her waist and I held her still.
“Don’t,” I warned, my eyes narrowing.
“Take it away.”
Fucking hell.
“Please, Finn,” she whispered, leaning in. Her lips hit mine and I pressed my mouth closed. No fucking way was I falling into this again.
“Stop,” I murmured, her hot, dry lips molded to mine. “You’re not thinking straight.”
“I don’t want to close my eyes again and sleep again and think of that man on me. I know what I’m doing…I’m just asking you, begging you, to take it away.”
Damn it. She knew my nightmares, she knew the struggle. It was the only thing she could say that would break my resistance.
I forced an exhale through my nose and swallowed. It wasn’t the right choice.
I knew it.
One of my hands left her waist and moved up the side of her body. She flinched when I touched her skin and I froze.
“Please,” she mewled against my lips.
I couldn’t resist. It was so fucking wrong, but she felt so good. So irresistible when she begged and rocked her body against mine.
But even with as much as I wanted her, I held back. “We need to get on the road. Get you back to the club and out of town.”
“After,” she moaned, and brushed her lips against my jaw.
It was one light, warm touch of her dry lips on my skin, but it completely eradicated my resolve.
My hand slid into her hair at the back of her neck. My fingers tangled in her locks and I pulled her against me, my mouth opening.
I devoured her.
Sucking her bottom lip in between mine, I bit down with my teeth and something primal in me burst inside when she moaned against my mouth.
I shifted, immediately laying her down on the bed, and I spread her naked thighs wide until I could settle between her.
She looked so small, so fragile.
I no longer gave a shit.
I wanted her, and she was mine. Someday I’d make sure she knew, but tonight, I wanted to vanquish her memories and her nightmares.
Naked, she spread her legs, and I immediately pulled back so I could slip out of my clothes.
I didn’t waste time in rolling on a condom and settled myself cradled between her thighs. She arche
d into me. I reached down to find her sex already dripping wet.
“Hell, Meg,” I said, swiping my finger in between her folds. Her body quivered beneath mine and I watched her every reaction to my touch. The increase of the pulse in her throat, the way her chest heaved and her breasts bounced. I caught the tiny pleasure bumps prickling her stomach and the way her pussy pulsed against my fingers as I made certain she was ready.
“Please,” she whispered. Her voice was frantic.
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
She shook her head. “You won’t. You never would.”
Fuck. I swallowed and met her eyes. She looked so certain. I was anything but.
But, it didn’t stop me from shifting my weight, dropping to my elbows, and sliding inside of her.
I moved slowly, tenderly, being careful of the cut on her throat that I couldn’t stop staring at.
I had caused that.
I had done that to her because I couldn’t fucking tell her what she needed to hear.
And I was still being a selfish prick as her breathing quickened and her legs began quivering.
Her orgasm rolled through her slowly and I quieted her pleasured gasps by kissing her.
With our tongues tangling together, I pressed my palms against the sides of her cheeks and held her to me. I covered her everywhere as she rode out her orgasm and then I stilled, balls-deep inside her as my own hit. If I couldn’t tell her how much I cared, I could show her.
“Hell,” I whispered. “You’re always so good.”
I pulled back and tried to smile, but it froze. Meg’s eyes met mine, but they were blanker…darker than usual.
Even in the darkened room only lit by the moon outside, I felt the shift in her as she mentally and emotionally pulled away from me.
I leaned back, and she shifted, signaling she wanted me to pull out. I did, but stayed over her, keeping most of my weight off her.
“Meg?” I asked, my brows knitted together. “What is it?”
She shook her head and looked away. Ice slid down my spine.
She didn’t have to tell me.
What we had just done was a mistake. At least in her mind.
And I had hurt her all over again by listening to her. I hadn’t erased her nightmares…
I had probably just created more.
“Meg,” I called again as she rolled out from under me. “Are you okay?”
She nodded, keeping her back to me as she reached for a shirt and threw it on. Without looking at me, she went to her suitcase and pulled on underwear.
“I’m fine,” she finally said. “But we should probably get going.”
The blankness in her voice sliced right through me and I sat up on the bed, feeling more terrified than I ever had in my entire life.
I’d just let the one good thing I’d ever have walk away from me.
And I totally deserved it.
24 Meg
I wanted one last time with him. It was selfish and I instantly felt the regret searing through me as I walked away. So much so that I wanted to turn around and apologize, to go back to the way we’d been over the last few days.
But then I walked into Brayden’s room, saw him sleeping peacefully without a worry in his mind, and I knew that I couldn’t.
It wouldn’t be fair to Brayden to allow another man into our life who would only leave us eventually.
He’d had enough loss in his little life, and my poor decisions wouldn’t be the reason he lost anymore.
I didn’t even have to worry about Finn. As soon as the truck was loaded up and Brayden and I were curled together in the backseat, my son already back to sleep with his head in my lap, Finn tossed the keys to Johnny, told him he was taking Johnny’s bike, and he’d see us in Jasper Bay.
At least I didn’t have to worry about the awkward silence that would have filled the truck for two hours.
That was three days ago.
We hadn’t seen or heard from Finn since.
It was for the best. And after all, he’d done what I’d asked him to do.
With the knowledge that Moscoe was dead and couldn’t hurt me, I slept at night.
I didn’t have nightmares about Deke’s rough touch or Moscoe’s slick smile.
My nights were filled with the memories of Finn’s touches. The way he looked into my eyes and cupped my cheeks that last night we were together.
I woke up in the mornings with my sex throbbing, wanting him, and remembering the way he felt inside me, stretching me. I ran my hands over my breasts and squeezed my nipples, wishing it was his hands.
I hadn’t spoken to anyone much. Finn and Johnny had filled Ryker and the rest of the club in on what had happened.
After the scolding I took from Ryker about being dumb enough to place myself in a position where I could be injured, he let the incident go.
As far as I knew, there would be no blowback on the club for Finn’s actions.
It left me free and clear to pick up and start over. Wherever I wanted.
The problem? I couldn’t bring myself to leave.
“Hey,” Faith said and sat down next to me on the back deck.
“You startled me,” I said, my hand over my chest.
I had been watching Brayden drive around on the four-wheeler with Ryker, completely lost in my own mind.
“Your neck looks better.”
I covered my bandage and nodded. “Only took a few stitches, but Doc said they can come out in a few days.”
“Hmm.”
I knew that sound. Faith had been fluent with that sound over the last three days.
“There’s something you’re not telling me, about what happened.”
I think I fell in love with Finn. I hadn’t told anyone about our time together, and since Ryker hadn’t announced he’d killed him yet, I figured Finn hadn’t said a word either.
“I’m just trying to figure out what to do now. Where to go.”
Her eyebrows rose while her lips wrapped around the edge of her coffee mug. “You’re leaving?”
“I need to find a new job at some point, Faith. Brayden needs some stability again.”
“I’ve noticed he seems quiet.”
“I would be too, if I was told I wasn’t going home again.” I hadn’t given him specifics, but I had told him about the fire and held him while he cried. He was upset about having to leave his friends, regardless of how many times I told him we’d go somewhere and make new ones.
“I figured you’d stay here. Ryker loves having you two close, and I do, too.”
She took a sip from her mug and I felt the unspoken questions she had for me. Why was I so upset? So quiet?
“We miss you, too. But this isn’t my family.” I shook my head. Regardless of what happened with Finn, I wasn’t sure I could be someone who was okay with this life. “You know I love you and Ryker. I do, but the rest of it…”
I pulled my eyes away. I wasn’t ashamed of them, and I didn’t judge them. Finn had saved my life because of how these men lived.
“I understand,” she said softly. “But I think someone else would miss you if you left, too.”
I furrowed my brows. “Who? Liv?”
“Finn.”
I inhaled a sharp breath, surprised she’d brought him up.
“Are you ever going to talk about what happened? Ryker mentioned that he’s been a wreck since you got back. Sits alone in his room, drinking all the time. And he’s not talking about anything, either.”
I pictured Finn drunk and miserable and my heart ached.
“Come on,” Faith prodded, a hint of a smile at her lips. “Give me something. At least tell me how good the Aussie is in bed.”
My jaw dropped. I went to speak but only made a fish face.
She threw her head back and laughed. “Oh, get real. You don’t expect me to believe you and Finn were locked in a cabin for a week and nothing happened between the two of you, do you?” She leaned in and whispered, “Please…for the love of God,
tell me he was good.”
“Fine.” I couldn’t fight my smile. “He was amazing. Happy now?”
“I was hoping for a little bit more detail than just ‘amazing,’ but if that’s all you have.”
All the fight left me. I was miserable without him and I couldn’t be with him. And Faith wasn’t letting me go until I told her everything.
So I did, and by the time I was done, Ryker and Brayden had long since given up on the four-wheeler rides and headed inside.
I waited for her to react, and my jaw dropped when she finally did.
“I didn’t expect you to be such a coward.”
My head snapped back in shock. “What? I’m not. Maybe I just know when to cut my losses before I end up hurt.”
“Or maybe you’re too afraid to get hurt again and you’re not willing to give him the chance.”
That wasn’t true. I shook my head.
“I know you loved Byron with all your heart, and I know that everything you’ve been through these last few weeks—hell, these last few years—had to have shaken you, maybe hardened you in a way I don’t understand. But I’m not sure between your past and Finn’s that he keeps so hidden, that a week is long enough to work through all of that.”
“I just wanted the truth from him, Faith.” She was wrong. It had nothing to do with the amount of time we’d spent together, but what we did in that time. Finn had repeatedly shown me all he wanted was sex.
She shrugged and stood up. When she did, she laid a gentle hand on my shoulder and squeezed. “I’m just saying perhaps you didn’t give him enough time to be ready for that.”
I watched her head inside, my eyes staying trained on the door long after she’d closed it.
And for the first time, I had to consider that maybe she was right.
Maybe I’d just been too afraid, too scarred from Byron’s deceit, that I had never given Finn a fair shot.
* * *
“Come on, Mom! Chase me!”
I grinned and ran after Brayden. The sun was shining and the air was warming enough that it actually felt like summer was starting to arrive. I was quickly learning that late June in northern Minnesota was nothing like the heat and humidity we suffered in New Orleans.
I was starting to like it in Jasper Bay, even though I’d still been searching for jobs and apartments in other places.