by SJ McCoy
Finding
Hope
A Chance and a Hope
Book Two
By SJ McCoy
A Sweet n Steamy Romance
Published by Xenion, Inc
Copyright © 2017 SJ McCoy
Finding Hope. Copyright © SJ McCoy 2017
All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form, or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system without prior written consent of the author.
ISBN: 978-1-946220-23-3
Published by Xenion, Inc. First eBook edition, June 2017
www.sjmccoy.com
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and events are figments of the author's imagination, fictitious, or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales or persons living or dead is coincidental.
Cover Design by Dana Lamothe of Designs by Dana
Editor: Mitzi Pummer Carroll
Proofreaders: L. McKenzie, Aileen Blomberg and Marisa Nichols
Contents
Contents
Pretty Please, Read This First!
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
A Note from SJ
PS – Project Semicolon
Also by SJ McCoy
Pretty Please, Read This First!
I’m going for a change of tactic this time. I hope the pretty please has you here reading this and that you haven’t gone straight to Chapter Twenty-One wondering how I got my numbering so mixed up. Books don’t normally start with Chapter Twenty-One before going to Chapter One, but then I’m not very good at doing normal.
There is method in my madness. I wanted to start this story by including the last chapter of Chance Encounter. You may have read it, you may not. That depends on whether you wanted to read the cliffhanger. If you didn’t, you can now learn what happened before Chance and Hope left Oregon. Even if you did read it and have been cursing me for the last month ;0) you might want to read it again before you dive into Finding Hope.
I hope you’ll enjoy this second part of Chance and Hope’s story. I love them both. The third and final book, Give Hope a Chance will be coming out July 11.
Anyway, that’s enough from me. I’ll get out of the way and let you read it.
Love
SJ
oxo
Chapter Twenty-One
Chance woke with a start. He looked around, wondering what he’d heard. Nothing, it seemed. He lay there for a few moments thinking about tomorrow. This was the last night he’d lie beside her, at least for now. He still didn’t know when he’d see her again. Part of him still wasn’t sure that he should see her again. It seemed to him he’d caused her enough trouble already. And when it came to him, much as he wanted to see where things could go, part of him just wanted to go back to his life, back to his comfort zone. Hope was amazing. He cared about her, but maybe his dad had raised a coward. Maybe it would be better, easier for them both, if they stuck with their original plan and just said goodbye tomorrow—if they saved each other as a beautiful memory and didn’t try for more. He sighed. He wanted more, though. He’d gone to visit Chloe’s grave before he came out here to tell her that he was ready to start living again. Now he’d met a woman he might want to share his life with. If he ran away from the possibility now, he doubted he’d ever try again.
He rolled over onto his side, but he couldn’t get comfortable. He got up and headed downstairs for a drink of water. Staring out the patio doors at the moonlight dancing on the ocean, he started to feel as though all this had just been a dream. Tomorrow, he’d wake up and go back to his real life. All this would be over, unless he really wanted to work to make it happen between them. He started at the sound of a bleep and turned around to see Hope’s phone light up. She’d left it on the countertop to charge. It bleeped again. He felt guilty as he stepped toward it, wondering who was messaging her in the middle of the night. He checked the clock—two thirty-five in the morning, to be precise. The screen lit up again and he stared down at the notifications.
Hope call me. Did he tell you he has a criminal record?
I want you away from that man.
Please Hope. I’m concerned about you.
Make sure goodbye means goodbye tomorrow.
I don’t want you around him.
Call me in the morning.
Chance closed his eyes and sighed. He nodded slowly. What father wouldn’t feel that way? He couldn’t blame the guy. He was looking out for his daughter. He didn’t know the whole story. Chance was glad that Hope did. It hadn’t been easy to share his past with her, but having her hear it from someone else would have been worse.
What was he supposed to do? He couldn’t exactly call the guy and explain himself. Even if he did, he doubted it’d make any difference. Men like that weren’t forgiving about mistakes, especially criminal ones.
Another text came in.
Please Hope. We’ve come so far in the last few years. Don’t throw it away over some no-good ranch hand.
That was like a dagger to Chance’s heart. Not being called a no-good ranch hand, he could handle that. No, the thought that Hope and her dad had been getting closer, and that he was about to screw things up between them. He couldn’t handle that. He knew what it was like to be estranged from your father. He knew how good it felt to finally be close again. He rested his head in his hands. He knew what he had to do. There was no way he would come between Hope and her dad. No matter what future might have been possible between the two of them, he’d give it all up right here and now in order to protect her relationship with her dad.
He tiptoed back upstairs and picked his clothes up, glad that he had everything packed and ready to go. He looked down at her, wanting so badly to reach out and touch her, but not daring to in case he woke her.
He kissed his fingertips and blew the kiss to her, hoping that somehow she’d feel it and know that he cared.
He went back downstairs and got dressed then gathered his things together. He went back to the kitchen and picked up the notepad he’d written his number on for her that first day they met. It was only two weeks ago, but it felt like so much longer.
He picked up the pen and stared at the paper. What could he tell her? What could he say? He couldn’t tell her why he was leaving. If he tried to tell her how he felt about her he’d still be here writing by the time she woke up. He stared at the paper a long time before he finally got it. He had to make himself out to be an asshole. That way she’d hate him; she wouldn’t want to come after him, and she wouldn’t upset her dad. Her dad could step in as her hero to pick up the pieces – and be proved right.
He scribbled a few words and picked up his bag. For one crazy moment, he wanted to put it down again, get undressed and go back and hold her in his arms. They could face all of this tomorrow. Together. But no. Together wasn’t a way he got to live life. He was supposed to be alone; he should never have forgotten that. Hope was someone who deserved to be happ
y, and she would no doubt be happier without him.
With a sad smile, he made sure he locked the front door as he let himself out and closed it gently behind him. He threw his bag in the car and drove away without once looking back.
~ ~ ~
Hope opened her eyes and stretched, then turned over to look at Chance. This was the last time they’d get to wake up together until she could get up to Montana to visit him. Her smile faded when her gaze landed on an empty pillow. She was sad that he’d gotten up and left her, robbing them of this one last time. She sat up and shook her head. Perhaps she was being a little bit melodramatic there. It wasn’t such a big deal. She got out of bed and pulled her robe on. He wasn’t in the bathroom. He must be downstairs already.
By the time she reached the kitchen, she knew he wasn’t there. The house was empty; she knew it. Maybe he’d gone for a walk on the beach? But would he really do that without waking her to go with him? She didn’t think so.
She went to pick up her phone. She needed to call him; she had a horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach. Something was wrong. Very wrong. As she reached for her phone, she saw the note. Tears pricked her eyes as she read it. She picked it up and read it again. It was so short, no explanation; no, nothing but a few words. No! He wouldn’t do that.
But apparently, he had.
Sorry, honey, but this is where the cowboy rides away.
She put the note back down on the table and let the tears begin to fall;
Chapter One
Chance tried to ignore the banging on the door. He rolled onto his side and pulled the covers up over his head. That didn’t work; the banging continued, growing louder. He burrowed his head under his pillow and covered it with his arms.
“Open up, Chance. I know you’re in there.” It was Mason.
Chance groaned. “Go away.”
“No such luck. I’m coming in.”
“Leave me in peace. It’s my day off.” He heard the front door creak as it opened. For the first time, he wished this was a place where he felt the need to lock his door. He listened to Mason’s boots cross the living room and approach the bedroom. “I’m pretty sure I told you to go away.”
“Tough. I’m going nowhere.”
Chance blew out a big sigh and threw the pillow in the direction of Mason’s voice.
Mason laughed. “Wow. Getting a pillow thrown at me is a whole lot easier to handle than what I thought I might get.”
“What you still will get if you don’t fuck off within the next thirty seconds.”
Mason laughed again. “There’s no need to wait thirty seconds. Like I said, I’m going nowhere, so whatever you’re going to do, you may as well get on with it.”
Chance reluctantly rolled over and sat up. “And I thought I was a stubborn bastard.”
Mason smiled. “You sure as hell are, but I’m right there with you. Just ask Gina.”
Chance nodded and rubbed his hand over his face. His stubble felt more like beard now, but it hardly mattered.
Mason watched him. “Are you planning on shaving anytime soon? You look like shit.”
“Thanks. If you want bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, go find yourself a fucking squirrel.”
Mason laughed. “Nah. I’ll stick around for red-eyed and whiskered, but if there’s any chance you could find your way into the shower, I’d appreciate it. I’ll even make you some coffee while you’re in there.”
Chance glowered at him for a moment. He had no right coming in here, no right to tell him he needed a shower, no right to … He blew out a sigh and nodded. “Okay, but make it strong.”
Mason was waiting for him in the kitchen when he was showered and dressed. He thrust a mug of coffee toward him, and Chance took it with a grunt of thanks.
“You got any plans for the day?”
Chance narrowed his eyes at him. “Well, I was thinking about heading over to Bozeman, doing a little shopping at Macy’s, getting a manicure, and then having a spot of lunch at the Open Range. How about you?”
Mason rolled his eyes. “There’s no need to be sarcastic.”
Chance shrugged and took a gulp of his coffee. Man, he needed that. “Well, there’s no need for you to be so damned superficial, is there? You don’t come in here, drag me out of my pit, and then make polite small talk like we’re a couple of chicks planning a girly day out. Just tell me what you really want or fuck off and leave me alone.”
Mason’s jaw set and his eyebrows came down, in a look that Chance recognized but had never had turned on him before. “What do I want? I want you to stop being an asshole. I want you to accept that I’m worried about you. I want you to come back.”
Chance could feel himself shutting down with every word Mason spoke. His eyes narrowed. His lips pressed together. His grip on his coffee mug tightened and his shoulders set with tension.
“Come on. Say something!”
“What? What do you want me to say? Sorry, I can’t stop being an asshole. It comes naturally. You’re worried about me? That’s your choice. It’s nothing I have any control over. And come back? What the fuck does that even mean? I’ve been back a month.”
Mason shook his head and sat down heavily across the table from him. The stubbornness was gone from his face. His eyes were full of concern. “Yeah, physically you’ve been back from Oregon for a month. But you haven’t really been here, and we both know it. You’ve shut down. I get that; you do that. But you’ve shut me out; you’ve never done that before. I don’t know how to handle it, Chance.”
“There’s nothing to handle. I’m fine.”
Mason shrugged. “Maybe you are, I wouldn’t know. But I’m not. I miss my friend.”
Chance closed his eyes against the tears that pricked suddenly. He couldn’t handle that. He needed to feel angry; he needed to feel hurt. He didn’t need to feel he was letting Mason down.
“I’m sorry. I know that’s not your problem, and it seems you’ve got enough problems of your own, but I miss you. I thought after all these years we could turn to each other.” Mason shrugged. “I guess we can’t. I guess I’m just talking like a chick again.” He drained the last of his coffee. “I’m sorry I ruined your morning. You know where I am if ever you want to talk.” He got up and grabbed his hat from the hook on the back of the door.
“Sit back down, asshole. Since you got me out of bed, you may as well stick around.”
Mason’s lips turned up in the tiniest hint of a smile. “Only if you want me to.”
Chance let out a reluctant laugh. “You’re going to make me say it?”
Mason chuckled. “Yep.”
“Okay. Stay.” Mason raised an eyebrow and Chance gave him a rueful smile. “Please.”
Mason went and poured himself a fresh coffee and sat back down. “Are you ever going to tell me what happened?”
Chance shook his head. “There’s not much point.”
“And why’s that?”
“Because it’s over. Done with. All I can do is put her out of my mind. Forget about it.”
Mason raised an eyebrow. “And how’s that going?”
Chance shrugged. How could he admit that he couldn’t get his mind off Hope no matter what he tried? He couldn’t forget her. She was what kept him awake at night.
“But you don’t want to talk about it?”
“Like I said, there’s no point. Talking about it can’t change it.”
“But talking about things can make you feel better, even when you can’t change them.”
Chance sighed. “It’s not going to make me feel any better. The best we could hope for is that me talking about it might satisfy your curiosity.”
Mason gave him a half smile. “Yeah, there is that.”
Chance nodded slowly. Talking about it wasn’t going to change the way he felt about Hope, and it wasn’t going to change the impossibility of their situation, but maybe Mason was right; maybe talking would make him feel a little better. It couldn’t hurt. “So, what do you want to know?�
��
“Everything! The last time I talked to you in Oregon you weren’t sure if you were going to even see Hope again. Then the two of you were splashed all over the headlines, and I thought you’d decided to go all in. But after that no one knew where you were for days until you showed up back here—saying that it had all been a mistake, there was nothing to talk about, and you were over it.”
Chance nodded. “That about sums up everything that happened. So, what else is it you want to know?”
Mason frowned at him. “That might be what happened, but I want to know why. I’ll admit I was happy for you when I saw the two of you in the papers. Gina even recorded a segment they did on one of the TV gossip shows. You made a striking couple, you know. And unless she’s completely changed since she was a kid, she’s a real sweetheart.”
Chance cocked his head to one side. “You knew her when you were kids?”
“Not exactly knew her, no, but we used to see her out around town every now and then. Her and her cousins.”
Chance nodded. “She hasn’t changed. She’s a good person. She’s smart and sweet and straightforward …” His words trailed away as he remembered her smiling at him, remembered so many little things about her.
“So, why aren’t the two of you living out the fairy tale happy ending that the press was forecasting for you?”
Chance shrugged. “Didn’t anyone ever tell you fairy tales aren’t real, and the press is full of shit?”
Mason nodded. “I guess, but I had a feeling, I really thought …” He shrugged. “Are you going to tell me what went wrong?”
“Yeah. It wouldn’t have worked.” He nodded. He was still trying to convince himself of that. Every day since he’d been back he’d told himself over and over that it wouldn’t have worked out, that it was best this way. He looked up and met Mason’s gaze. “For a little while there we’d decided that we were going to give it a shot. She was going to come up here to visit me.” He looked away again, remembering how that had felt. He shrugged. “But you know who her dad is, right?”
Mason nodded.