Everything I Have (Everything I Want #3)

by Natalie Barnes

  This can’t be fucking real!

  “I love you…” Tristan breathes hoarsely against my towel, speaking more into me than actually to me.

  Oh, God. He fucking loves it.

  His grip tightening, my silent tears break into gentle sobs. Releasing my hands from Tristan’s soft hair, I bring them up to my face as I continue to cry. Tristan raises up, holding onto my lower abdomen with his left hand as he strokes his fingers through my soaked, tangled lengths. Pulling my neck back gently, his voice sounds pained as his lips feather over mine.

  “Fuck, Sophia.”

  Closing my eyes tight, I run my tongue over my tear-soaked lips.

  “You should’ve fucking said something.”

  His deep voice cracks, causing my eyes to snap open.

  Tears cloud my vision as I try to focus on Tristan’s pained face concentrating on mine; I have never seen Tristan so vulnerable. Oh, my God.

  “I’m… I’m sorry,” I croak out through my tears, which I thought I had under control.

  Shit! I’m so fucking scared. Tristan swiftly lifts me up, wrapping my arms around his thick neck as his grip on me tightens.

  “I love you so fucking much,” he says in a hushed tone, inhaling the skin at the nape of my neck.

  Then he lays a velvety kiss on me before bringing me down to the bed, setting me down at the side. The chill in the air kisses my skin now that Tristan has withdrawn the warmth of his touch. His knees hit the floor with a thud, his eyes closed tightly as he grips his skull.

  Stunned, I push myself up, and over to him. I begin to rub his back, trying to comfort him. What the fuck is going on? It’s hurting me seeing Tristan crumbling before me.

  “No more fucking lies, Sophia. Please.” he pleads, his voice low. I can only nod in agreement, afraid that opening my mouth will bring more tears.

  Tristan lifts his arm around my back, crushing me into him. Losing my balance, my towel falls from me, my breasts brushing against his slick, strong chest. The friction on my sensitive nipples makes me wince, sharp, stinging pulls of pain spreading over them.

  Tipping his chin down, Tristan breathes in hard. The sound of his low gasps over my face sends heat to pool beneath the skin that was just caressed with his breaths, spreading throughout me, leaving ripples to wash over my core.

  His Adam’s apple works vigorously in his throat. He looks like he’s about to say something, but then he leans and feathers his soft, strong lips over mine. Sliding his tongue smoothly into my mouth, I moan quietly at the feel of his tongue massaging mine slowly at first, but growing more urgent. I breathe him in so hard that my lungs feel like they will tear from trying to get more of him into me. Sighing softly into his mouth, he groans strongly back into mine.

  I’m completely naked as Tristan presses his hard, sweat-kissed chest against mine when he lifts me back up on the bed. My legs bent at the edge, Tristan works at his zipper, his lips pulled tightly into his mouth as his jaw flexes under his skin. My arms are sprawled out above my matted, damp hair, which lies underneath them. Tristan fists his cock and I try to control my deep breaths, my knees fucking rattling against each other as I watch.

  Fuck! I think I just whimpered. With his other hand Tristan grips my right knee, his touch on my skin feels fucking unbelievable. I lose my breath when he spreads my legs and steps into me. Dark eyes penetrate me. It’s so damn hard to keep myself still right now beneath the hunger Tristan is staring down at me with.

  Using his left palm, he bends my knee back into my body while at the same time sliding the head of his cock up and down the length of me, pressing the tip a little harder when it reaches my clit.

  “Ah…”

  That feels so good. Gritting his teeth, Tristan throws his head back at the same time I fall into ecstasy. Pure fucking ecstasy; every cell dancing, every nerve screaming.

  “Sophia…”

  My name falls off Tristan’s lips as if he were in worship.

  Damn. His calloused fingers graze my stomach before trailing between my breasts until he reaches my neck. Lightly gripping it, he strokes his thumb tenderly over my bottom lip.

  “T-Tristan…”

  I can hardly say his name when he sinks inside of me. He feels so fucking good inside me. Bringing my hands up to my tender breasts, I cup them to keep them still. Every time Tristan thrusts into me causes them to throb. His eyes crinkle at the corners as he watches me hold myself, that sexy side smirk appears back on that handsome face of his.

  “Fuck! Tristan!” I scream out when he reaches down and lightly pinches my clit, almost pulling out of me.

  “Fuck you, Sophia,” he grits out, slamming into me a couple more times before he slows down, his hips rolling into mine.

  He brings his arms up over my head, resting his forearms on the bed. His fingers grip the edge of the mattress, his biceps bulging and flexing with each thrust he gives me.

  “Stop hiding from me,” he whispers, his eyes dark and pained.

  Tristan thrusts hard into me again. I cry out, arching my back off the bed.

  “Don’t leave me out,” he says through gritted teeth, punishing me with his cock as he slams into me.

  Fuck, I love it.

  My body falling, every nerve zinging, I scream as he circles himself against me. What the fuck?

  “Never again.” He slumps down, pressing his chest to mine, sucking my swollen bottom lip into his mouth and tasting me before his teeth let go of it. “I mean it.”

  “I’m sorry,” I whisper against his mouth, his hot breath dancing across my lips.

  Grinding his hips into me, he lifts my waist up off the bed and starts to pound. I fucking lose it, right then. Every depth of me floods with tingling pleasure as heat runs to my core, fiery chills scattering across my body. Losing my breath, I come apart. Tristan wraps his arms around my back, pulling my weak body into his.

  Gripping my ass firmly with one hand, he wraps his other around my back, now pounding into me even harder, holding me locked to him. Tristan loses all control, his cock slamming into me at a punishing rate. My head falls back as he starts sucking below my ear, his groans sending shivers to spread over my skin. Best fucking sound in the world, I swear.

  “Tristan…” I moan, which sets him off even more.

  “Ah, shit! Sophia!”

  His head falls back on my arms that are wrapped around his neck. Then, heat starts spilling out of me, running down my thigh. Tristan is cumming, so I clench myself around his cock as tight as I can. He gently grips my hips and grinds me against himself.

  Damn, he feels so good. Holding onto his shoulders, I try to stand, but Tristan’s arms scoop behind my knees and lift me up, making me giggle. When he lays me down, his eyes are on mine.

  “I’ll be right back,” he mumbles, pushing himself off the bed.

  Oh, my God.

  Tristan cups himself and walks out. Holy shit... walks out! I forgot Tristan didn’t even slide the door closed when he came in. Shit, thank God all the boys are still out partying.

  Tristan comes back into the room and I haven’t moved from the position he laid me in. I’m dead right now. His face is completely relaxed, but I wish he would scowl, smirk... something. I don’t know what’s going on in his head.

  “Here.”

  He hands me another bottle of water. After taking a quick drink, I hand it back to him. With his other hand he passes me a wet hand towel. Peeking up at him, I give a shy smile as I take it out of his hands.

  “You know, I could’ve just taken my ass in the bathroom and done this,” I joke.

  Tristan ignores me and climbs over to get comfortable. I don’t know how he can; he’s so tall he has to sleep sitting up.

  After I’m done cleaning up, I toss the towel over in the corner, trying to get it into my laundry basket. I pull the covers up over my breasts; Tristan stays on top of the blanket, naked. Turning over on my side, I use my bent arm to prop my head up.

  Tristan is still looking forward, but now
he has his fingers laced together, his arms crossed behind his head. With my free hand, I draw on the blanket with my finger. Looking up, I catch a glimpse of Tristan’s face, and it stops me.

  “When were you going to tell me?”

  His deep voice sounds pained once again. Shit. I wince on the inside at just how bad of a piece of shit I am for not coming out to him as soon as I laid eyes on the stick.

  I shrug my shoulders.

  “Soon. I was going to say something soon.”

  I stop my finger from its trail, noticing his clenched jaw.

  “I can’t believe you fucking hid this from me.”

  Anger boils in the tone of his voice, but he still manages to keep his cool. Thank God.

  “Tristan, I was scared, all right?”

  “That’s not an excuse,” he bites back sharply.

  Pinching my eyebrows together, irritation floods me.

  “Fuck you, dude. I say that’s a damn good excuse.”

  Tristan pushes himself up abruptly, sitting up straight, then turns toward me, despair hardened on his chiseled face.

  “What if some shit happened, like the time in Minneapolis, huh?” he seethes.

  That was so long ago, and nothing like that ever happened again. Why dwell on stupid, negative shit in life? Pushing my lips out to the side, I roll my eyes at him. He hates that because his eyes fall into slits, his voice low and threatening.

  “Let me tell you what would fucking happen. I would lose everything.”

  His voice breaks at the end. I don’t know why, but for some reason seeing Tristan so vulnerable is such a freaking turn on. Gawd, I can’t believe that thought crossed my mind at such a serious time. What in the hell is wrong with me?

  “You’re not going to lose anything.”

  Reaching out for him, I take his hand into mine, curling my fingers around his. Following my lead, Tristan lies on his side and wraps his muscular arm around me, keeping me close to him. After a while, his breathing evens out. Just as I’m about two seconds away from sleep myself, a throaty chuckle rumbles from Tristan’s chest.

  “You’re fucking killing me, Sophia.”

  A warm blanket of emotions covers me as Tristan’s lips press against the top of my head.

  Tristan

  I didn’t sleep at all last night. Sophia slept nuzzled against my side all night. It was fucking incredible. With my left arm wrapped around her shoulder, keeping her close to me, I stretch my other hand back, leaning my head against it and staring up at the ceiling. The room is black, but after a while, my pupils adjust to the darkness.

  Sophia’s pregnant. Holy fuck! If it were anyone else, I probably would’ve been scared shitless and pissed, but knowing that there’s a part of me growing inside her…Fuck. Blood shoots to my dick when I feel Sophia’s soft curves pressed against me.

  Closing my eyes, I blow out a breath. I can’t fuck her, yet. She needs fucking rest, especially now. She played a sick show today. Sophia’s probably going to be pissed, but I don’t really give a shit. She’s carrying our child now, so certain shit’s gotta change. I’m gonna have to call Lux and make sure he ups security more at shows and around her. I’m not fucking risking anything like the last tour. No doubt, if anyone were to hurt her… I would fucking go to prison for what I would to do them.

  I don’t really know a whole lot about babies and shit, but Sophia needs to see someone soon, I do know that. We’re supposed to play at Download this summer, but what if she’s having the baby then? See, shit like this I gotta know. A smile creeps onto my face. I can’t fucking believe my girl is knocked up and that I’m actually fucking excited about it.

  ************

  Well, she’s not pissed... more like getting ready to rip my face off. Since I didn’t really sleep, I ended up sending Lux a text. By the time Sophia got up around ten, I had already planned for this Sue chick to come over to the bus. The bus took off sometime during the night, so I’m not really sure where the fuck we’re at right now.

  Sophia didn’t say anything, probably embarrassed because she knows she has to let her boys know soon, or I will. I know they look after her, but now they really gotta up their big brother shit. I’m not taking any chances. When Reeve gets the message from Lux, he finds a truck stop and pulls off the highway. Everyone is still passed out except us, so I don’t know why she’s freaking so bad. They’re not gonna know shit yet.

  Sitting out on the couch, I rest my arms on the tops of it as I wait for Sue to arrive. Sophia went to the bathroom then right back to her room. Even though she heated me up yesterday by lying to me, I know fucking better than to try and start anything with her right now.

  A couple light knocks hit the door.

  “Can I come in?”

  Getting up, I step in and push the door open for a middle aged woman with graying blond hair and light eyes.

  “Good morning,” she chirps up at me.

  Susan smiles again as she stands in the doorway. “Oh shit, right,” I say, taking a step back and out of her way. I must’ve zoned out again. I nod at Sophia’s door with the side of my head.

  “She’s back there.”

  Susan walks past me, holding the strap to her brown messenger bag. I follow her down the aisle. She uses the back of her hand, strumming her knuckles against the door before sliding it open. Sophia is standing over by her little desk, sorting something. After she puts it down, she faces us.

  “Hello, Sophia. Lux already told me some things, but I want to hear from you, too. Now, I don’t have too much on me at this time, but we can at least go over your vitals and start you some vitamins. You can go see a gynecologist in a couple weeks when you get a break before next leg of the tour.”

  “Okay.” Sophia answers in a small voice.

  Turning around, I walk back out of the room. Let them talk about whatever they gotta talk about. Some weight is lifted from my chest for now.

  What a lying little thing, I laugh in my head. Fucking going around telling us some dumb infection bullshit!

  Stretching my arms over my head, I hang out here for about twenty minutes. Soft mumbles drift out of Sophia’s door.

  “Take care and if you need anything, just let me know.”

  “Thank you.”

  Sophia walks out first and heads over to the fridge as Sue leaves. When the bus door closes, my eyes find that tight ass of hers as she reaches inside. Fuck! Those little plaid shorts are fucking killing me right now.

  “Stop staring at my ass.”

  The corner of my mouth lifts up. Sophia stands and shuts the door, spinning on her heel. My gaze roams up to her chest in that tight tank top. Fucking beautiful. Making a disgusted sound, Sophia turns around and throws whatever she had in her hands into the sink. My eyes snap up to hers and when I raise my eyebrow at her, she puts out her hand.

  “Don’t ask.”

  She stomps her way over to the other side of the booth. Sliding into it, she runs her fingers through her hair.

  “You should eat something.”

  Twisting her face at me, she shakes her head.

  “No way,” she groans.

  I press my lips together. I don’t like that she’s not even trying. Glancing over to the sink, I see there’s fruit spilled out of a plastic container. How can fruit be making her sick? Tipping my head to the side, I scratch the back of my neck.

  “You need anything?” I ask her.

  She shakes her head no, staring out at the highway as the bus takes off again. She just sits there quietly with her arms crossed, pushing up those damn tits of hers. Not in a bad way at all, but fuck… I can’t get enough of her.

  Walking up to the booth, I rest my hands on the table, leaning into Sophia’s space. Those lush thighs of hers clench when I breathe over top of her, blowing pieces of her brown hair. Sophia shakes her body away from mine, pressing herself into the backrest.

  “Tristan, we need to talk.”

  What the fuck? Her blue eyes are flat, but her bottom lip starts t
rembling. Pushing myself off the table, I cross my arms over my chest, kicking my leg out a little. This shit is going to be dumb, I can already fucking tell. She stares back at me, and I just widen my eyes, indicating that she go on with whatever she wants to “talk” about.

  “What the fuck are we gonna do, Tristan?”

  Her voice only breaks for a second before she strengthens it again. Is this what really has her so fucking worked up right now? I can’t stop the cackle that comes out. Sophia’s eyes widen, like she’s just seen a lunatic.

  “Relax, babe-”

  “Tristan. This is some serious shit we have to talk about.”

  Shaking my head at her, I swipe my hand down my mouth, grinning wider.

  “You’re freaking, my girl.”

  “No, I’m not,” she pouts.

  “Yeah, you are.”

  A disbelieving chuckle slips out of Sophia’s lips.

  “How do you fucking know?”

  Running my tongue over my bottom lip, I tip my chin up at her.

  “Because you’re gonna marry me.”

  Sophia’s chest shakes as she laughs, putting a spark back into those sapphires of hers. Biting the corner of my lip, I roll my neck around my shoulders.

  “Fuck that,” she laughs, scooting her way out of the booth. Stepping in close, I block her body from getting out.

  “Marry me.”

  I drop my smile and stare down at her. Pulling her lips into her mouth, she shakes her head no. Reaching down, I tuck some of her soft hair behind her ear.

  Whatever. She said no. Doesn’t mean I’m done asking yet.

  Chapter Ten

  Sophia

  “What the fuck are you watching now?” Tristan groans next to me, trying to tug at my waist to lie back down.

  “Reality Bites,” I tease, grinning as I press play on the screen because I know damn well Tristan doesn’t really care for those kinds of movies.

  Well, it’s more like he would rather ‘dig his eyes out and bash his head against a cement wall’ as he put it when I made him watch Labyrinth a couple nights ago, after we had just fucked and I knew he wouldn’t be getting up for few hours. Oh my God, the look on his face was so funny when he saw David Bowie, I mean, Jareth, sing Dance, Magic, Dance in those ridiculous cup-bulging pants.