Hope

by A. American

  “Leave us alone, go, go!” Charlotte demanded.

  “Let me talk to the boss again, see what I can do,” Drew said, again trying to make them feel at ease.

  “Go!”

  Nervously Drew exited but not before he said, “I’ll have dinner dropped off with an extra set of blankets for Hope. She can stay with you.”

  The door closed and locked.

  “What’s going to happen to us?” Hope asked.

  Charlotte hugged Hope tightly and repeated the exact words her father would say when she was scared. “It will be fine. I’ll keep you safe.”

  Hope looked up at Charlotte and cried, “It won’t be fine.”

  El Centro, CA

  Neal stormed into the house and slammed the door. “God, he frustrates me sometimes!”

  Karen rushed into the living room and asked, “What, what’s going on?”

  “Carlos, he can be a stubborn fool.”

  “What happened?”

  Neal shrugged, looked at Karen, and remembered that it was his job to remain calm, cool and collected.

  Karen cleared the few feet separating them and asked, “Tell me what happened?”

  Beth ran in with her arms open wide. “Daddy!” She jumped in his open embrace.

  “Hi, sweetie,” Neal said to Beth as he gave her several kisses on her cheeks and forehead. Her presence alone calmed him.

  “I missed you,” Beth said, her arms draped around his neck.

  Karen wrapped her arms around both of them and said, “I missed you too, Daddy.” She and Neal had agreed to keep disagreements and anything that could disrupt the house to a minimum. “We’ll talk later.”

  “Good plan, it’s been a big day. I have a lot to share with you,” Neal said.

  “Come on in, get undressed, and relax a bit,” Karen said, removing his vest. “I’ll have dinner ready soon.”

  “I can’t. I have first shift,” Neal said, referring to the watch shifts he and Carlos rotated every eight hours when they were back at home.

  “Then we’ll join you, and you can tell me all the news,” Karen said.

  Neal rubbed his sore neck before proceeding to the spare bedroom. There he had a chair positioned next to a large window with a good vantage point of the street and houses beyond.

  Minutes passed before Karen came in with a plate of warm pasta.

  Neal looked at the food, smiled and said, “Yum, Chef Boyardee raviolis.”

  “Bethie wanted it, but I can make you something else.”

  “No, it’s fine,” Neal said, stabbing his fork into one of the plump raviolis.

  “You ready to talk?” Karen asked.

  Neal looked past her and asked, “Where’s Beth?”

  “In her room, coloring.”

  He set the plate down and relaxed into the chair. “Carlos and I have made initial plans on relocating.”

  The news gave Karen pause. “Relocating?”

  “We can’t live here forever. Eventually we’ll run out of food, but water is the main issue, and we have to come to grips with living in a desert. The water will soon run dry.”

  “But you found a large supply, enough to last—”

  Neal cut her off. “Enough to last months maybe; that’s if someone else doesn’t find it.”

  “But you said—”

  “I know this might be hard to fathom because we’ve been surviving so well for a long time, but it can’t last, it won’t. We have to make a run for it; we have to go to a safe zone.”

  “I’m not going to a FEMA camp.”

  “Oh God, Karen, I’d never do that. No, no, no, you’re misunderstanding me. We’re going to make a push for Alaska. We feel confident it’s safe there.”

  “You don’t know if it is or not,” Karen said, her voice cracking.

  Neal sighed, he hated having these conversations with Karen. “Karen, we have to take a chance, we have to.”

  “But maybe you’ll find more water. Maybe all we need to do is keep making do here and things will go back to normal.”

  He took her hand and rubbed it. “Sweetheart, nothing is going back to normal.”

  “You don’t know that, just like you don’t know if Alaska is safe. For all you know, it could be just like this.”

  “That’s true, I don’t know for sure. I could be wrong, but what I do know is we’ll run out of water, it’s only a matter of time, then what? We have all the food and water we need right now to make a push north. I can’t risk using up our resources then going. We don’t know how long we’ll be on the road.”

  “So you and Carlos make up your minds, and we’re just supposed to go along?” Karen asked mockingly.

  Neal’s eyes widened upon hearing that. Karen wasn’t one to aggressively challenge him when it pertained to these matters. He knew that it stemmed from her fear and not a confidence in his ability to make clear and sound decisions. “Karen, what’s wrong?”

  “This is wrong, this idea of yours. It’s risky, too risky. Neal, you’ve been telling me almost daily how bad it is out there, and now you want to put us, your family, right in the middle of it for days, maybe weeks?” She pulled her hand away and folded her arms.

  “We can’t stay here forever, we just can’t. You know how the summers are.”

  Flustered, she began pacing the room.

  “Karen, we will plan a route that keeps us away from all major cities. We’ll travel during the day and camp at night, off road. I won’t do anything without ensuring it's well thought out.”

  “What about the boat? What about getting us all to the boat in San Diego and sailing somewhere like Hawaii or Costa Rica? We loved Costa Rica.”

  “We’ve talked about this; the big cities are no-go zones. I’ve heard the gangs have taken over; plus we don’t even know if the boat’s there anymore.”

  Her pacing stopped.

  He turned around to see her looking out a side window. He then heard her crying. He jumped up and raced to her. “Why are you crying?”

  Wiping away the tears, she explained, “I’m just thinking about my sister.”

  He didn’t know what to say; it had been a topic since day one. Karen’s sister, Kate, lived just outside of New York City, and they hadn’t heard from her since before the day it all went dark.

  “I’ve said it before; I’ll go looking for her if you want?”

  Karen reached for his hand and grasped it. Looking down at his open hand, she ran her thumb over the thick calluses. “You’re a hard worker, always have been.”

  He was speechless watching her.

  “You’d do anything if I asked, I know that. If I asked you to go look for her, you’d do it in a second. I know you. But it’s not worth losing you. Is that wrong? Am I being selfish? I don’t want to lose you, we need you, but I also would like to know if she’s fine. But New York is so far away. It would be an impossible trip, too risky. I have to come to grips with probably not seeing my sister again.”

  “I hate that you have to feel that way.”

  Several tears fell from her chin and landed in his open palm. “It’s just the way things are. It is what it is.”

  “She’s family,” Neal said.

  “She is, but you and Beth are really my family. When we married, I left that family and joined with you. Together we created this, we created Beth.”

  He lifted her head up gently and asked, “I’ve asked before and I’ll ask again, do you want me to go find your sister?”

  “I feel awful, but no, and don’t ask me again. My tears are for the world that’s gone; the possibilities of that world are lost to us now. I just wonder what happened to her. I pray she’s fine, but I just don’t know. I feel deep down she’s still alive.”

  “You do?”

  “Yeah, I think I’d know if she had left this world.”

  “I just want us to be safe; I want nothing else more than that.”

  “Oh, honey, I know that. I trust you, I’m…I’m just scared. You know me, I like certainty a
nd going on the road, going out there is so uncertain. If it were just you and me, I’d say let’s go, but it’s not just us. I fear for little Bethie.”

  “That’s totally understandable, and if I thought us staying here was better in the long run, I’d stay, but it’s not. We can’t stay here forever, we just can’t.”

  She spun around, wrapped her arms around his muscular build, and rested her head on his shoulder.

  “I love you,” he said.

  “I know you do.”

  “Gross!” Beth squealed loudly from the doorway.

  “Come here, sweetie,” Karen said.

  Beth rushed in and sandwiched herself in between them. “What’s going on?”

  “We were just talking,” Neal replied.

  “Adult stuff?” Beth asked.

  Karen knelt down, looked Beth in the, eyes and asked, “How would you like to go on a road trip?”

  “We’re leaving?” Beth asked.

  Neal cracked a slight smile. This was Karen’s way of giving her answer.

  “Alaska, we’re going to Alaska.”

  “Aren’t there polar bears up there?” Beth asked.

  “Not the part we’re going to, but yes, I guess you could find some in the most northern regions,” Neal answered.

  “Can I bring my toys?”

  Her question brought tears to his eyes. Even after all that had happened, she had maintained an innocence that only children could have. He loved her for that and wanted her to remain that way for as long as possible.

  Neal shot up from a dead sleep and looked around. The intense black of night made it impossible to see. He reached for the flashlight on his nightstand, but hesitated to turn it on for fear of giving himself away. With his right hand he picked up the pistol and held it firmly.

  “Neal?” Karen asked.

  “Ssh.”

  His response jolted her from blissful slumber to concern. She too tried to see in the dark but to no avail.

  Under her breath she whispered, “Turn on the flashlight.”

  “Ssh,” he again said but more forcefully this time. He exited the bedroom and stood in the hallway, allowing his ears to try to hear anything.

  A loud knock at the front door jolted him.

  He cruised stealthily through the house until his back was against the wall next to the front door.

  More loud knocking followed by a familiar voice. “Neal, Neal, open up.”

  It was Natalie and she sounded scared.

  Neal unlocked the two deadbolts and removed the custom-made door jam. When he opened the door fully, he found Natalie standing alone.

  She rushed past him into the house. “Neal, you need to stop him.”

  “Stop who?” Neal asked. He clicked on the flashlight so he could see her more clearly.

  “He was talking crazy, saying he needed to go, go by himself. Neal, you need to stop him. He just left; he can’t be far.”

  “Natalie, calm down. What are you talking about?” Neal said.

  The glow of the flashlight lit the room and cast long shadows on the wall.

  “I told him not to go, but he waited until we were all asleep. He snuck out.”

  “Do you know where Ricky would have gone?” Neal asked, assuming the person she was talking about was her son.

  “Ricky? No, Carlos, it’s Carlos. He kept talking about this truck and that he needed to go get it by himself because you wouldn’t go.”

  “Oh no.”

  Karen rushed into the room and darted for Natalie. She put her arm around her and said, “Neal will find him.”

  “I, um,” Neal mumbled.

  Karen glared and said, “You’ll go out and bring him back.”

  “I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” Neal countered.

  “He was acting weird, manic in some way. I guess you two got in an argument about it,” Natalie said.

  “You have to go,” Karen insisted.

  “It’s not safe,” Neal countered.

  “I’m scared. I’m really worried about him. Why would he leave in the middle of the night, just go. What’s he thinking?” Natalie asked.

  Karen left Natalie’s side and stepped up to Neal. “What truck?”

  “I never got a chance to talk to you about it. It was why I was upset when I came home.”

  “What truck?” Karen again asked.

  Neal explained to them both what happened but from his perspective that attempting to steal the truck was foolhardy.

  “Neal, you have to go stop him,” Karen pressed.

  Neal stood, his arms folded, contemplating what he should do but fully knowing Carlos was miles ahead of him, and without knowing just how he planned on stealing the truck, any approach by him could jeopardize both of them. He expressed these concerns.

  “So what do we do? Just wait and pray?” Natalie asked.

  “I can go right now, but there’s no chance I’ll beat him there, and if I show up, I can screw up whatever plan he had. I think we need to let this play out,” Neal said.

  “Maybe you can go talk to these men,” Karen said.

  “Not a good idea.”

  “You have to do something,” Natalie said.

  “Yes, you have to do something,” Karen echoed.

  Neal’s temper was flaring because he knew he wasn’t going to be able to reason with the women. Frustrated, he walked off and headed towards the spare room.

  “Where are you going?” Karen asked.

  Neal didn’t stop or turn to reply. He kept walking and said, “I am going to do something, I’m gonna take watch, and while I’m waiting, I’ll pray Carlos comes home safely.”

  Neal lost count of how many times Karen and Natalie came in asking him to go find Carlos. At first they were righteous and almost indignant, but after a while their attitude shifted to pleas, but it wasn’t enough for him to move. He had a mixed range of emotions coursing through him. The shock quickly wore off and was replaced by anger; the anger eventually shifted to disappointment then to worry. Regardless of how many times they asked, Neal stuck to his guns and refused to go out. He knew doing so put him, Carlos and everyone there at risk. If something bad happened to Carlos, Neal was still alive to help, but if they both didn’t return, what would happen to Karen and Beth? Neal just couldn’t find it in him to go out. If Carlos made this haphazard decision, he’d have to complete it all alone.

  The women eventually quit asking and soon thereafter fell asleep on the couch.

  Neal fought the urge to close his eyes, but when the dim light of dawn came, the fatigue vanished along with the darkness. He stretched, rubbed his eyes, and vigorously paced the small room. He stopped when he heard a deep throttled rumble in the distance.

  Could that be? he asked himself as he leaned close to the open window and listened.

  Tires squealed and again a deep rumble echoed off the houses in the distance but now closer. The sound drew closer and closer until he was sure it was heading towards them. Excited, he grabbed his rifle, tore out of the room, and stepped outside on the front steps to listen.

  Whoever it was could be heard on his street now.

  Always a man who took precautions, Neal raised his rifle and placed it against his shoulder. Out of the corner of his eyes, he spotted a Suburban similar to the one he had seen yesterday.

  The Suburban drove into the cul-de-sac and stopped feet from Carlos’ driveway.

  Neal couldn’t make out the driver through the darkly tinted glass, but he guessed it was Carlos returning victoriously.

  Karen and Natalie had also heard the Suburban and came outside.

  “Is it Carlos?” Natalie asked.

  “Stay put. I don’t know for sure,” Neal said, stepping off the steps and slowly advancing towards the driver’s side of the vehicle.

  The driver’s door opened up.

  Neal looked through his sights and placed his index finger on the trigger.

  Carlos emerged, but something was wrong.

  Seeing Carlos,
Neal lowered the rifle and raced towards him.

  Carlos raised his hand, smiled and said, “I told you.” He lowered his arm then fell hard to his knees.

  Natalie screamed and bolted towards Carlos with Karen just behind her.

  Neal reached Carlos just before he fell over. “I got you, buddy.”

  “I told you, I fucking told you,” Carlos said proudly.

  Neal’s hand felt warm and wet. He looked down and saw it was red with blood. “You’re hurt.”

  Carlos coughed and replied, “Um, yeah, I got shot.”

  Natalie fell to her knees and began kissing Carlos on the forehead. “You stupid, stupid man, why, why?”

  “I’m good, baby,” Carlos said. By his temperament, he wasn’t feeling too much pain and was actually quite happy about his success.

  “Let’s take you inside and get you patched up,” Neal said, bringing Carlos to his feet. “Can you walk?”

  “Yeah, let me just hold on to you,” Carlos answered.

  With Carlos clinging to him, Neal slowly walked inside Carlos’ house and towards the spare bedroom in the back of the house.

  Natalie frantically cleared the spare bed. “Put him right here.”

  Neal put him in the bed and asked, “Where are you hurt?”

  “My left side, just above my hip,” Carlos replied, pulling at his shirt.

  The T-shirt Carlos was wearing was soaked with blood. Neal pulled it up and easily found the bullet wound. He examined it and said, “Clean shot, in and out, looks like it just went through some muscle. You’re one lucky son of a bitch.”

  Carlos chuckled and said, “I’ll tell you what, it didn’t hurt at first, but once my adrenaline wore off it hurt real bad. Thank God I had that syringe of morphine.”

  “You shot up morphine?” Neal asked as he cleaned the wound with a clean cloth.

  Karen suddenly appeared with the trauma kit. “Here, you’ll need this.”

  Carlos ignored Karen and answered Neal’s question, “Yeah, remember we found them months ago?”

  “I remember,” Neal said, his full attention on the wound.

  “Well, they came in handy. I only used a quarter of the syringe. That shit works great, I can see how people can get addicted.”

  With the wound completely clean, Neal got an even better look. His previous assessment proved accurate. The bullet had traveled from his lower back straight through and out the front; the damage was limited to tissue only.