Edward sat down next to her on the bed, took her face in his hands, and kissed her gently on the lips. Now that Edward had finally admitted his love, Eden wanted to sink into that kiss, to taste every morsel of its sweetness, to make it last forever. Edward loved her and wanted to be with her always.
Edward had other ideas. Though he, too, seemed to want the kiss to go on forever, his hands moved restlessly over Eden’s back and shoulders, pulling her closer to him until her breasts were pushed hard up against his chest. She didn’t immediately realize he’d been unbuttoning the back of her dress until she felt it begin to slide off her shoulders. The feel of his hands through the thin fabric of her shift sent chills racing to every part of her body, sent the blood rushing through her veins until she felt heat suffuse her skin. She wondered if she had the same effect on Edward.
She stopped wondering when Edward slipped her dress off her shoulders and let it fall around her waist. He eased her down on the bed and covered her shoulders with kisses as his hands roamed over her sides, her stomach, and her breasts. No man had ever touched her that way before. Her sensitivity to his fingertips as they moved across her body was so acute, her shift seemed like no barrier at all. Tremors shook her from head to foot and a pleasurable ache settled between her legs.
Anxious to explore Edward’s body as thoroughly as he Anxious to explore Edward’s body as thoroughly as he was exploring hers, she fumbled with the buttons on his shirt until he undid the last of them for her. Without breaking the kiss that seemed to have welded their bodies together, she pushed his shirt off his shoulders and got her first look at the chest she’d only seen in her dreams. Over the course of her twenty-one years, she’d seen many men without their shirts, but she didn’t think she’d ever seen anyone except Sean with a chest to equal Edward’s. Thick muscles divided his upper chest into halves that joined with powerful shoulders to create the impression of unlimited power. The whole was covered by smooth skin that felt like rich satin as she moved her hand from side to side, luxuriating in the feeling of intimacy it gave her. Ridges of muscle crossed his abdomen down to his waist.
Breaking the kiss at last, she leaned her head against Edward’s chest and moved her hands to his back. She loved the play of muscles under his skin when he raised his arms or changed the position of his body. On a few occasions she had noticed that when one of her sisters-in-law let her hands roam over her husband’s torso, she’d get a faraway look in her eye. Now Eden understood. Having complete freedom to explore Edward’s body was enough to make her surroundings fade into insignificance.
She was brought hurtling back when Edward slipped her shift over her shoulders and exposed her breasts to his touch. She would never have believed her breasts could be so sensitive, but she flinched when he touched her.
Edward froze. “Did I hurt you?”
“No. I’m just more sensitive than I expected.”
Edward’s touch was feathery, but she still felt like she was about to jump out of her skin. All the nerve endings in her body had come together in one place to amplify every feeling, every sensation, until the pleasure grew so powerful it impacted her whole body. When he massaged her nipple with his fingertips, her body went rigid. When he took her nipple into his mouth, she nearly rose off the bed. She felt unable to breathe, the air locked inside her lungs. He tongued, nipped, and sucked her nipples until she was certain she couldn’t stand any more. How could anything feel so agonizingly wonderful?
She was dimly aware of his hands moving gently over her body, touching, probing, caressing. She wanted to do the same to him, but she felt helpless, all the energy drained from her body, all the strength sapped from her muscles, leaving her defenseless before his onslaught. But it was an onslaught her body liked and wanted more of. With no guidance from her near-paralyzed brain, she rose to meet Edward’s touch, pressed hard against him, yearned for more, the more that some part of her brain told her was yet to come.
When Edward’s hand moved down her side, slid her shift down over her hips, and glided up her thigh, her whole being was suspended. She had known this moment would come, but she still wasn’t prepared for the overpowering force of it. Her muscles quivered and her nerve endings were so sensitive, she felt as if her body had become a pincushion. Her heart raced but her breathing nearly stopped. She felt disconnected from her surroundings even though the entire room seemed burned into her brain. Everything was either a contradiction or an exaggeration, and she was incapable of telling the difference.
When Edward’s finger slipped inside her, it ceased to matter. She was aware of nothing but her own body, the powerful rings of sensation that began to spread from her center like ripples in a lake. Each successive ripple thrilled her a little more until she floated helplessly on the rising tide of ecstasy Edward was creating inside her. She tried to speak, but only moans of pleasure escaped her lips. She tried to lift her arms, to reach out and touch him, but she could only lie there and ride the waves that rose higher and higher with each movement of Edward’s hand inside her. She had expected making love would be wonderful—she’d seen her sisters-in-law whispering to each other while casting amorous glances at their husbands—but she hadn’t anticipated anything like this.
She was gradually losing the ability to think, to remember. She could only react to the powerful surges that gripped her body. The greater her need to do something to escape, the more incapable she was of movement. She rose from the bed, a cry of protest lodged in her throat, as the coils tightened around her body until her breaths came in noisy gasps. Her fingers gripped the bedspread beneath her and closed like the talons of a bird of prey. Then just as she thought she must cry out in agony, the moment she’d been waiting for came and she seemed to soar right out of her body.
She was not even aware that Edward was removing the rest of her clothes. Keeping her eyes closed, she thought only of her racing heart, her labored breath, her knotted muscles. She was drained of energy, could think only of her complete satisfaction. She didn’t realize Edward had removed his own clothes until she felt the bed sink under his weight and she opened her eyes to see him poised above her.
“This may be a little uncomfortable at first. Just tell me and I’ll pull back.”
The sight of his engorged manhood sent a quiver of apprehension through her, but she wanted so badly to feel Edward inside her, to feel they were joined, that she refused to let his size worry her. He loved her. He wouldn’t do anything to hurt her.
She felt herself stretch as he slowly entered her. When she was certain she couldn’t stretch any more, he paused before penetrating deeper. Only when he began to move inside her did she realize there would be no pain, only the wonderful feeling that she had finally become joined to the man she loved.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down into a kiss that was filled with a kind of passion she’d never dreamed possible. They had been born to be together. No one else could have stirred such depths of passion, have traveled so deep into her soul. No one else could have made being in his arms, making love to him, feel like a sacred experience.
When the waves came the second time, she rose to meet them eagerly. She let herself be tossed by the sea of love that surrounded her, braved the storm as it broke across her body, latched onto the lightning that illuminated her soul and turned their love into a white-hot flame.
In the same way she rejoiced when the storm broke, the waves receded, and calm settled around her. She now knew the full meaning of love, and that knowledge filled her heart with a joy no words could describe.
On top of everything else he had to live with, now Edward had to deal with the guilt of having made love to a woman he wasn’t in a position to ask to be his wife. It didn’t matter that he was certain she loved him as much as he loved her. A man of character had a responsibility not to raise a woman’s hopes if he couldn’t fulfill them. He didn’t know a lot about Jake Maxwell, but he’d be surprised if such a successful rancher would allow his only daugh
ter to marry a man without the means to support a wife. Added to that, he was illegitimate, an outcast, and his financial future depended on the fragile legs of one horse: it was a hopeless situation.
He never should have come to Texas. And having done that, he should never have explained to Hawk and Zeke that he’d fallen in love with Eden and needed a job so he could be near her while he learned how to be a cowboy and trained his horse for a race on which he was gambling his entire future. Zeke had laughed, Hawk had looked at him like he was crazy, but they’d given him the job. Yet what had he accomplished besides compromising Eden and putting her life in danger?
He turned his head so he was facing her on the pillow. She looked so peaceful, so beautiful, so utterly desirable. How had he ever thought he’d be able to keep his hands to himself? He should have refused to stay alone with her in the ranch house after Zeke and Hawk took their wives to San Antonio. He should have kept looking until he found someone else to ride Crusader. He should have told Eden he had to keep his distance until he could honorably ask her to be his wife.
Okay, so he’d told her about keeping his distance, but he hadn’t stuck to it and he couldn’t excuse himself by saying she didn’t want him to keep his distance. A man of character would have done it anyway.
He reached out to caress Eden’s cheek, then drew his hand back. She looked so achingly lovely, so very nearly irresistible, it took all his self-loathing to keep from waking her, kissing her, making love to her again. Remembering the sweetness of her kisses, the softness of her body was torture. The past several hours had been incredible. They had given meaning to a life that had always felt uncomfortable, often felt useless, sometimes felt like a failure. It seemed too cruel for Fate to snatch it away the moment he found it.
But Fate hadn’t given him this past evening. He’d stolen it. He had no right to it. He had to get out of the bed, out of the room. Eden’s body lying next to his, her softness only inches away, was too much temptation. Taking care to move slowly, he eased off the bed. Enough light came through the window to enable him to find his clothes. He gathered them up without bothering to put them on and left the room without a backward glance. He wasn’t sure he could have forced himself to leave if he’d done so.
Once outside the room, a measure of sanity returned. It was fortunate he’d awakened before morning. If Finn had come into the house and caught both of them leaving the same bedroom, all hell would have broken loose. Getting fired and ordered never to set foot on Maxwell land again would have been the mildest consequence. Members of Eden’s family would stand in line to spill his blood.
He reached his room and sank down on the bed, as exhausted from the disgust he felt for himself as by his inner turmoil. He ought to go someplace he wouldn’t be a danger to Eden and himself. It disgusted him even more to know he wouldn’t leave. He was too weak, too much in love with Eden to think of going anywhere or doing anything that would prevent him from seeing her every day. Her smile made his day worthwhile; her happiness became his. She was the reason learning the secret of his birth hadn’t destroyed him. She was the reason Crusader had to win the race.
He stood to dress. It wasn’t time to get up, but going back to sleep was out of the question. He could bring in some wood, start the fire, make coffee. Anything to occupy his mind, to keep him busy, to prevent him from going back into her bedroom.
Crusader thundered down the trail, his powerful stride carrying him faster and faster toward the imaginary finish line. Perched low over his neck, Eden urged him on with her hands and voice. Crusader responded with a burst of acceleration that caused his mane to whip across her face, nearly blurring her vision of Edward waiting at the end of the trail, stopwatch in hand, an intent expression on his face. He had been in a strange mood all week, but he had to be pleased with this workout, Crusader’s final before they left for San Antonio. Eden didn’t need a stopwatch to know the young stallion had never run so fast.
His gaze focused on the stopwatch, Edward didn’t look up as they raced by. Eden stood up in the stirrups and pulled gently on the reins to slow Crusader. He didn’t want to stop and tossed his head impatiently, but she applied gentle pressure until he began to slow. She was glad he wanted to keep running, but he needed to conserve his energy for the race just a few days away. This workout was just a tightener to keep up his speed and flexibility.
Crusader finally came to a stop. She turned him and headed back to where Edward waited.
Even though the sun had barely been up an hour, it was already hot. Birds that had chirped so noisily before dawn had mostly fallen silent as they looked for a shady spot to perch during the heat of the day. Eden would be inside, but Edward, Finn, and Brady would be in the saddle until dusk. They still hadn’t found the man who had shot at her—or Crusader—or the men who had committed the vandalism at the various ranches. Her father had been hopeful they’d be found before the family left for San Antonio, but that now seemed unlikely. As a result, everyone was going to San Antonio. The children were in a fever of excitement. Faced with spending several days in an unfamiliar city, their parents were busy considering various strategies for corralling the energies and curiosity of children used to roaming virtually at will.
Eden didn’t have to look at the smile wreathing Edward’s face to know he could hardly wait to get to San Antonio. He planned to place as many private bets on Crusader as possible. He was certain the long odds would enable him to win enough money to buy a ranch . . . or go back to England and buy the farm he’d always wanted. He said he’d never go back to England, but Eden knew what he really meant was he would never go back a failure.
Much to her dismay, Edward had kept a distance between them since the night they’d made love. He’d told her he should never have touched her, that it was inexcusable to compromise a woman he wasn’t able to marry. She’d replied as she always did: that money didn’t matter when it was a question of true love, but she was gradually learning there was more of England in Edward than either of them had supposed. He wanted the freedom Texas offered, but his values, his code of behavior, had been instilled in him by the aristocratic society into which he’d been born and reared. Money, social rank, and personal honor were integral parts of his thought processes, the criterion by which he made his decisions.
As far as she was concerned, love leveled the playing field.
The feeling that the life she’d dreamed of was slipping away filled her with a growing sense of desperation. It seemed there was always something wrong with her. For some of the local boys it had been her independence and refusal to leave her family. For the men she met when she was in college, it was that she was from Texas. The hurt of being rejected for reasons that weren’t her fault wouldn’t go away. It wasn’t fair, it wasn’t right, yet she couldn’t do anything about it. Now she was being rejected because of Edward’s outmoded morality.
Somehow, some way, she wouldn’t let it happen. She loved her family, adored all of her nieces and nephews, but she wanted a husband, her own children. She’d finally found a man who appreciated her independence, who wanted the life she wanted. She didn’t need any burst of intuition to tell her she’d never find another man she could love the way she loved Edward. He was the one meant to share her life. All she had to do was find a way to convince him.
“You’re a genius.” Edward looked down at the stopwatch when she brought Crusader to a stop next to him. “I could never get that kind of run out of him.”
Excitement danced in his dark blue eyes. His smile made him look so handsome, Eden felt her stomach turn over. How could she face the possibility that he might return to England? He wouldn’t ask her to go with him. She would never fit in there, certainly not as well as he’d acclimated to Texas. In a short time, he’d become comfortable wearing boots, jeans, a shirt open at the throat, and a wide-brimmed hat to keep the sun out of his eyes. Until he spoke, you could almost think he’d been in Texas most of his life. So why wouldn’t he want to stay?
“H
e’s still young. You can race him for several more years if you want.” Why had she said that? If it was racing glory he wanted, England was the place to be. The English racing tradition went back to the reign of King Charles II.
“All I need is to win enough races to build a reputation. Then I’ll put him to stud and race and sell his offspring.”
Edward was looking at the stopwatch again, shaking his head in wonder. “That’s where the money is.”
In England. There wasn’t much call for Thoroughbreds in Texas. Even the derby they had started a few years ago in Kentucky was an obscure country race compared to the famous derby in England, which drew crowds of several hun dred thousand each year. If Edward dreamed of becoming rich breeding Thoroughbreds, he couldn’t stay in Texas.
“Your parents will meet us here tomorrow,” Edward told her. “Chet and Luke will be with them, but most of the family will follow a few days later.” They were going early because Isabelle couldn’t wait any longer to see how Suzette was doing.
“Finn and Brady will have their hands full taking care of the ranch, but it won’t be for long,” Edward said. “If all goes well, Hawk and Zeke will be back soon.”
Then it would be time for her to return home and start school. She had no hope of talking her mother into letting her stay to help with the babies. Someone had to teach school, and Eden was the only one qualified. She wouldn’t be able to see Edward every day. She wouldn’t be able to remind him of how much he loved her and she loved him. She had the terrible feeling that if she were separated from him, he would go back to England and she’d never see him again.
But if Crusader lost the race, he’d be forced to stay in Texas.
It filled her with disgust that she could even think of throwing the race. It would destroy her integrity. She couldn’t, she wouldn’t consider such a course of action. But even as Edward outlined what they needed to do to be ready to leave the next day, the thought wouldn’t leave her. She tried to close her mind, force herself to pay close attention to what Edward was saying, but not even her best efforts could drive out the thought.
Texas Loving (The Cowboys) Page 26