The Baby Emergency

by Carol Marinelli

  It would have been so easy to stay.

  So frighteningly easy.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  ‘HOW’S the hired help?’ Smirking slightly, Melissa sat down and dived into the box of chicken savouries Shelly had bought. ‘Behaving himself?’

  ‘Impeccably.’ Shelly met her colleague’s eyes, reddening as she crossed the line she had sworn Ross to and elaborated. ‘Unfortunately.’

  ‘I thought that was what you wanted,’ Melissa was tucking into the savouries with gusto now, as Shelly concentrated on the feed she was giving.

  ‘It is,’ Shelly insisted, leaning back in the chair as the baby attacked the bottle. ‘Or it was. I don’t know, Melissa, I’ve set the boundaries, insisted he doesn’t cross them, and now I’m annoyed that he’s keeping to the deal that I set in the first place.’ If she hadn’t been holding a baby, so exasperated was Shelly she would have got up and paced the floor right then and there.

  It was her fourth night on duty. Her fourth night of leaving Ross in her home and heading off to work. And no doubt in just a few short hours it would be the fourth time she would arrive home in the morning to two grinning faces and a house so untidy it was unrecognisable.

  A house that felt completely like home.

  ‘I was the one who insisted we didn’t discuss things with anyone at work, and just look at me!’

  ‘I’m not just anyone, though.’

  Shelly let out the breath she’d inadvertently been holding. ‘I know you’re not. You must be just about sick of all my dramas by now.’

  ‘On the contrary.’ Melissa grinned. ‘I love them, just so long as you keep on feeding me. When do your parents get back?’

  ‘Sunday morning.’

  ‘And you’re off now until when?’ Melissa asked with thinly disguised interest.

  ‘I’m back at work on Saturday night.’

  ‘So is Ross staying at yours for the next few nights, or going back to the doctors’ mess in between baby-sitting shifts?’

  Thankfully the baby started to fret and Shelly avoided answering for a moment as she placed the bottle on the workbench and leant the baby forward, massaging his back to bring up his wind.

  ‘Shelly,’ Melissa pushed. ‘You can wind a baby and talk better than anyone I’ve ever known.’

  ‘OK,’ Shelly snapped, more annoyed with herself than Melissa. It was a question that had been plaguing her for the last couple of days and now as the clock crept toward four a.m. it was make-your-mind-up time. ‘It would seem that the ball’s in my court.’

  ‘I’ve never held a tennis racket in my life.’ Melissa grinned as she took another handful of savouries. ‘You’ll have to be more specific.’

  ‘Ross has made it very clear the next move’s up to me. If I ask him to stay the next few days…’

  ‘He’ll want sex?’ Melissa asked eagerly, and Shelly shook her head and started to laugh.

  ‘Melissa!’ Shelly said indignantly. ‘If I ask him to stay it will mean I’m moving things forward, that I like spending time with him, that I want to spend more time with him.’

  ‘Which you do,’ Melissa said with annoying simplicity. ‘And you can rub that back all you like but that baby’s not going to burp for you again.’

  ‘Look, what if I ask him to stay and by nine o’clock tonight I realise I’ve made a mistake? I can’t just dash off to work…’

  ‘You mean there’ll be no safety net.’

  ‘I suppose. What if I realise the mistake I’m making, what then?’

  Melissa stood up and took the dozing baby out of Shelly’s arms. Cuddling him in for a moment, she smiled down at the sleeping infant. ‘You gave me a scare, little man, and just look at you now, all ready to go home tomorrow!’ Her kind, shrewd eyes turned back to Shelly. ‘Seems to me you’re more worried what you’ll do if you realise you haven’t made a mistake.’ As Shelly opened her mouth to protest, Melissa carried right on. ‘That you, young lady, are more worried that waking up next to Ross might just be the best thing that’s ever happened to you.’ Shelly’s mouth opened again but Melissa hadn’t quite finished. ‘What then, Shelly? That’s what’s really troubling you, isn’t it?’

  Waddling off, she left a troubled Shelly sitting at the desk and for something to do Shelly picked up the box of savouries, but a salty early morning snack wasn’t going to solve her problems tonight. Even the slab of chocolate in her bag wouldn’t bring answers.

  Melissa, as usual, was spot on with her diagnosis. What then?

  Ross was five years younger than her and though their age difference would barely raise an eyebrow, those five years might just as well stretch to fifty.

  Five years had seen Shelly marry, have a baby, divorce. Five years had led her to single motherhood, the only parent of a very special little boy, with all the joy that entailed on the upside but all the responsibility the permanent angst on the downside.

  Whereas Ross…

  Ross lived his life out of his backpack.

  His five years had been spent studying, working, but most importantly living. Dancing, romancing, travelling, hot southern nights and all the promise a body like his would surely attract.

  How could she hold him?

  And if she did for a while, how could she possibly bear to lose him?

  ‘You know Dr Khan?’ Melissa was back. The baby had obviously settled easily and Shelly struggled to concentrate as the conversation turned back to work and the aging consultant that ruled the ward.

  ‘We had an affair.’

  Thank goodness she wasn’t feeding a baby now! Shelly’s jaw literally dropped open as her head swung around, positive she must have misheard!

  ‘Thirty years ago, mind.’ Melissa gave a shrug and took the box of snacks from Shelly’s limp hand. ‘I was in my twenties, a lot prettier and definitely a lot thinner.’

  ‘Dr Khan!’

  ‘Mushat. Mushi I used to call him.’ She wasn’t really talking to Shelly any more, her usual gruff voice was softer now. ‘I knew from the start it wasn’t going anywhere, we both did. Once his internship finished he was expected to go back to Pakistan and marry.’ A thin, wry smile replaced the needs for words for a moment. ‘Mushi wasn’t going to rewrite the rulebook. He loved his family, loved his culture and more to the point he loved his wife-to-be. He had a wonderful marriage.’

  ‘Did it carry on after…?’ Shelly’s voice trailed off as Melissa shook her head vehemently. ‘He’s a decent man, he’d never have cheated on his wife, it’s simply not in his character. He loved her, Shelly, right up until she died last year. But for a while there he loved me, too.’ Her eyes found Shelly’s then. ‘Like it or not, you’ve got a complicated life and men like Ross don’t come by every day. Take your moments in the sun, Shelly, you don’t know when then they’re going to come around again.’

  ‘Just because I’m a single mum with responsibilities, it doesn’t mean I’m going to take any crumbs of comfort…’

  ‘I’m not talking about Matthew.’ Melissa ignored Shelly’s snappish response. ‘I’m talking about you. When Mushi and I broke up I cried like every other woman getting over a broken heart, and though I swore I’d never get over him, deep down I thought there’d be someone else, that one day what Mushi and I had would be just a warm distant memory.

  ‘But that was it,’ she rasped. ‘That was it for me, Shelly. But as painful as it’s been, I’m glad for the two years we had. For the two years I felt as beautiful and loved as every woman deserves to feel at least once in her lifetime.’

  Pulling a couple of tissues from the workbench in front of her, Melissa blew her nose loudly and Shelly found herself doing the same.

  ‘Is there any chance for you two?’ Shelly ventured. ‘Now his wife’s…?’

  Melissa shook her head sadly. ‘There’s too much water under the bridge now,’ she said sadly. ‘Since his wife died he’s so brusque, and it’s not just me that’s noticed, even Ross was moaning about how much he’s changed. Sometimes when I talk
to him about the patients, or the budget, or whatever the latest drama on the ward is, he’s so far removed from the man I used to know I wonder if he even remembers how close we once were.’

  ‘I’m sure he does,’ Shelly said gently as Melissa blew her nose again and stood up. ‘Perhaps you should try talking to him.’ But her suggestion fell on deaf ears. Melissa looked up at the clock and started to pull out the drug trolley.

  ‘And perhaps we should get on with our work.’ Work felt just like that for the rest of the morning. Like work.

  Melissa, embarrassed at revealing so much, turned into the ogre sister from hell and every baby in the place woke at six demanding to be fed, unmindful of the fact that Shelly needed to do some obs and write her nursing notes. In fact, by the time she turned the key in her front door any chance of preparing a speech for Ross was but a distant dream—not that it mattered.

  Ross had obviously only awoken as her car had turned into the drive.

  ‘Shelly,’ he gasped as she came in and rather disdainfully eyed the lounge. ‘I fell asleep. I was going to have it tidy for your last morning…’

  ‘What, and spoil the surprise?’ She started smiling as she watched him picking up blankets and toys. He was wearing navy boxers this morning, and if anything they made his tan look ever darker. ‘Did the late night movie go on too long?’

  ‘No.’ He stopped his flurry of activity then and faced her. ‘Matty got up a few times.’

  ‘Matthew?’ She wasn’t correcting him. Shelly’s forehead creased and for a second she felt the surge of panic familiar to mothers around the globe. ‘Why?’

  ‘I don’t know if he had a dream or was just miserable.’ Ross ran an exasperated hand through his hair. ‘I checked him over but there was nothing wrong, I read him his gingerbread book, changed his nappy, gave him a drink, but he just wouldn’t settle. I gave him some paracetamol just in case.’

  ‘I’ll go and check him, he’s usually up now.’

  ‘He’s probably exhausted. Could he be teething?’ His question went unanswered as Shelly fled towards Matthew’s bedroom.

  ‘He’s OK, Shelly, I checked him less than an hour ago,’ Ross tried to reassure her, following her rapid footsteps, and though Shelly believed him, knew deep down what Ross was saying was true, until she saw Matthew for herself nothing was going to convince Shelly that her son was OK.

  ‘Mum.’

  She didn’t even make it as far as the bedroom. A delightfully familiar bundle was running towards her smiling a very wide smile, little arms outstretched, dark hair sticking up at every angle—a tell-tale sign of the restless night he had spent.

  ‘Hey.’ For once Shelly ignored the fact she was still in her uniform and she scooped him into her arms, one hand instinctively sweeping his forehead, the nurse in Shelly checking for a fever as the mother in her rained kisses on his little pudgy cheeks. ‘What’s been the matter, little guy?’

  ‘Mum,’ Matthew said again, and it was all the answer Shelly was going to get, but all the answer she needed, and turning to Ross she gave him a relieved slightly embarrassed smile.

  ‘I’m sorry you’ve had such an awful night. Normally he sleeps right through.’

  ‘Don’t worry about me.’ Ross was standing right beside them, pushing his fingers into Matthew’s fat tummy as the little boy giggled and rubbed his face in Shelly’s neck pretending to be shy. ‘And it wasn’t awful. We had a bit of fun for while.’ He gestured through the bedroom door to the biscuit wrappers and piles of toys on the floor. ‘We had our own little party, didn’t we, buddy?’ His face turned to Shelly and he gave an apologetic shrug. ‘I tried everything I could think of—read him that story he liked, I even sang to him. He wasn’t upset or anything, he just didn’t seem to want to sleep.’ A large yawn ended Ross’s sentence and he barely managed to lift his hand to cover it. ‘I’d best head off to the shower.’

  One final ruffle of Matthew’s head and he turned to go.

  ‘Woth.’

  Turning slowly, suddenly Ross didn’t look tired any more, an incredulous delighted look lighting his face as Shelly nearly danced on the spot in excitement, holding her breath as she waited for Matthew to say it again.

  ‘Woth.’ A little index finger jabbed in Ross’s general direction and there was no mistaking the word that had spilled from his lips hadn’t been an accident.

  ‘Is that supposed to make up for keeping me awake all night?’ Even though his voice was loud, Ross was grinning as he walked back towards them, the feigned anger in his voice not fooling Matthew for a second as he squealed in delight at the anticipation of another tickle, which was soon forthcoming. Shelly joined in the laughter, the strangest feeling bubbling in the pit of her stomach as Ross’s face was suddenly serious, his voice low and soft. ‘Well, guess what little man…? It does.’

  Matthew’s arms were pointing in Ross’s direction now, and Shelly watched in wonder as the toddler slipped easily into his arms, resting his little head for a moment on the strong bare chest as Ross held him close for a moment, the expression on his face unreadable as Shelly stood silently watching this most precious moment. ‘Best have that shower,’ Ross said finally, reluctantly handing Matthew back. ‘I’m sorry to leave you with all my chaos.’

  ‘Don’t worry about the mess. I’m just so grateful to you for helping me out, helping us out.’

  ‘I haven’t finished yet. We’re still on for Saturday.’

  Shelly nodded, wanting to speak, wanting to break in and tell him he didn’t have to go, that he was more, so much more than just a babysitter, but the words simply wouldn’t come.

  ‘I’ll come back after my shift and collect all my stuff.’

  ‘You don’t have to…’ Her voice trailed off. The coming back she could certainly deal with, it was the thought of him leaving that hurt…

  Ross was staring at her, his eyes willing her to continue, and for the longest time a loaded silence hung in the air.

  ‘You’d better grab a shower. I’ll rustle up some breakfast.’

  It was such a paltry offer, such a pale offering compared to the words that were screaming from every taut nerve, but it was the best Shelly could come up with, and as Ross walked off she fought the urge to call him back, to somehow erase her last few words. To tell him she was feeling it too.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  WITH Ross hogging the hot water, Shelly had to make do with a quick wash in the basin as Matthew danced around the en suite, squeezing her expensive moisturiser onto the tiles the second Shelly’s back was turned.

  ‘My one luxury in life,’ Shelly admonished, picking up the empty tube and trying to scrape up the mess with toilet tissue. ‘It will be all your fault if I dissolve into a mass of wrinkles and crow’s feet now, and who’s going to love me then?’

  The innocent, bubbling smile that looked up swept away her vague annoyance.

  ‘Ask a silly question.’ Shelly smiled, placing Matthew on the bed as she slipped on some fresh undies and pulled on a skirt and top. ‘And I’ll love you too!’

  Despite the fact Ross looked like a walking zombie—and a gorgeous one at that—Matthew didn’t seem remotely tired after his night’s exploits, tucking into his breakfast with gusto, then performing his usual disappearing routine as Shelly attempted to dress him, giggling away as she forced two kicking legs into a pair of shorts and two wriggling arms into a T-shirt. ‘Now here comes the hard part,’ Shelly muttered as Ross collapsed onto the sofa, only a skimpy fluorescent pink towel draped around his hips, his body glistening with the morning dew of his shower. Trying to tie the laces on Matthew’s runners was a feat at the best of times, but trying to perform this task suddenly took on monumental proportions as Shelly saw Ross walk over.

  He probably thought his assistance would make the task easier.

  Flying solo to the moon without an oxygen tank would have been easier than attempting to tie Matthews’s laces into two neat bows with six feet three of freshly showered tanned flesh hovering
just millimetres away!

  One damp, blond-haired arm brushed against her bare thigh as he expertly trapped one little fat leg and Shelly performed the amazing feat of tying a double bow, as opposed to brushing the shimmering drops of water of his forearm, as opposed to looking up and catching Ross’s eye…

  ‘I don’t know how you do it.’

  ‘Practice.’ Shelly shrugged, planting a playful smack on Matthew’s rapidly departing bottom as he scuttled away fully clothed.

  They were still kneeling on the lounge floor and Ross rested back in his heels. ‘Now I know why all the nurses head for the coffee-room as soon as they come on duty. I know that’s where I’ll be going.’

  ‘Will you be all right—today at work, I mean?’ She was genuinely concerned. Ross, for all his hectic social life, was a most conscientious doctor. Having listened with slightly envious curiosity to his party ways over the years, Shelly knew that despite the late nights and frequent dates and parties they were always held well away from a shift on duty.

  ‘I’m wondering that myself. If I was heading off to a nice air-conditioned office and pushing a pen all day, I might try and bluff my way through.’

  He gave a small shrug as Shelly chewed her bottom lip nervously. ‘It’s a bit different to examining children and writing up prescription charts.’

  Ross nodded. ‘Not much room for error there.

  ‘Hey,’ he added, seeing the guilt-tinged concern flood her face. ‘I didn’t come here for a holiday, I knew what I was letting myself in for. I’m not just exhausted from last night, I haven’t really slept well since I’ve been here.’

  ‘I thought you only got nightmares when you were on call.’ It was meant as a small joke, a throw-away comment to fill the tiny space that was between them, but as she saw Ross shift uncomfortably, watched his cheeks darken, Shelly could have bitten her tongue off, realising with regret that she had embarrassed him. ‘Ross, I’m sorry,’ she said quickly as he stood up.