Shotgun Groom

by Ruth Ann Nordin

  Before he made it to the door, she blocked his exit. “Wait. I need to tell you something.”

  Sep called out, “They’re here, April!”

  “Who’s here?” Joel asked her.

  “Look, I know this isn’t something you want, but Lou’s a bad man and I can’t have him coming back here to hurt us.”

  “Lou?” Was that the name of the man whose bloody handprint was on the railing outside? “Is Lou down there?”

  “No.”

  He made a move to get by her, but she put her hands on his chest. Surprised, he stopped. She wasn’t strong enough to detain him, of course, but he hadn’t expected her to touch him. “Well, who’s down there?”

  “Come on down, Joel,” Tom yelled. “Rick came all the way in from the courthouse to oversee this blessed event.”

  Glaring at April, Joel pushed her aside and ran down the stairs where his brother Tom was standing next to their brother-in-law who held a book with a piece of paper sticking partly out of it. Sep stood at the closed door with his rifle in hand, ready to use it if he had to. Tom had an annoyingly huge smile on his face. Rick, at least, had the sense to look serious.

  “What are you doing?” Joel demanded as he headed for Tom.

  “Making things easier for you,” Tom replied, still grinning like a fool. “Why go through the trouble of finding a preacher when Rick here can perform the ceremony? There’s no need to thank me.”

  “Thank you?” Joel shouted. “You want me to thank you?”

  Tom shrugged. “Once is enough.”

  “I don’t believe this!” Joel turned to Rick. “My idiot brother I understand. Ma dropped him on his head when he was young.”

  “Hey!” Tom protested. “That’s not true. I was only one and lost my balance while climbing out of Ma’s lap. Besides, she caught me before anything got hurt.”

  “Fine. Maybe if you bumped your head, you would’ve gotten some common sense in there.” Joel poked Tom’s forehead before he looked at Rick. “You’re here to get me out of this house, right? I mean, you can see that the foolish kid over there keeps pointing that gun at me. He’s been shoving that thing in my face ever since I got here Tuesday morning to check on Nora.”

  With a sympathetic expression on his face, Rick shook his head. “I’m sorry, Joel. I can’t do it.”

  “What? Why?” Joel glanced over his shoulder as April stepped into the parlor, her face pale while her eyes darted from one person to another. Eyes wide, he turned back to Rick and put his hands up in the air. “It’s not what it looks like. I was upstairs fixing her headboard. She set Nora in the crib to take a nap. I wasn’t doing anything up there that I shouldn’t.”

  “I believe you, Joel,” Rick said.

  Relieved, Joel put his hands back down at his sides. “Good. Then there isn’t a problem.”

  Wincing, Rick shook his head again. “It’s not as simple as that. This is the Edwards residence.”

  “So?”

  “So Harvey Edwards killed a man right before he got what was coming to him. There’s suspicion that his brother was an accomplice to the murder.”

  April rushed forward and shoved Joel aside so she could stand in front of Rick. “I never heard this.”

  “There’s nothing we can do to Harvey now that he’s dead. The man he killed was a wealthy merchant. Lou got away, but Harvey was shot in a saloon not too long after the murder. The sheriff is on the lookout for Lou, but no one’s seen him.”

  Tom snapped his suspenders and grinned. “I thought I recognized the name Lou from somewhere. Owen was talking about him the other day. I just couldn’t remember the last name or what he’s suspected of doing.”

  “Thanks for the details, Tom,” Joel said, rolling his eyes.

  “There’s no need to be sarcastic,” Tom replied.

  “That has nothing to do with this horrible mistake,” Joel said, motioning to April who crossed her arms and glared at him. “I mean the wedding is a mistake,” he told April. “Not you. Though, come to think of it, women are trouble.”

  “You’ll be lucky if she doesn’t swat you for that one,” Tom said. “I could do it for you, if you’d like, April.”

  Rick cleared his throat and stood between Tom and Joel. “Both of you are downplaying how serious this is. Lou might be younger than Harvey, but word is, he’s nastier. I agree with Tom. April and Sep need someone who is skilled with a gun and quick on his feet.”

  “Owen can do it,” Joel said.

  “No, he can’t. They need someone who is going to live here,” Rick replied.

  Tom looked at Joel. “April said Lou came into this house without knocking and he threatened her and Sep. In all good conscience, you can’t back down from this, Joel. You have to do the right thing.”

  “The right thing is having the law taking care of this mess. They’ve dealt with riffraff many times,” Joel snapped.

  “They can only do so much, Joel,” Rick calmly stated. “A man who is head of the house is going to be a bigger deterrent than a sheriff or deputy who comes by to check on things. You’re the logical choice. Everyone else we know is already married.”

  Realizing he was losing the argument, Joel decided to change tactics. “Well, the bride’s made it clear that she doesn’t want to marry me.”

  “I can’t blame her on that one,” Tom quipped. “But even if she’s getting the bad end of the deal, she’s willing to make the sacrifice.”

  Joel glared at Tom. “Rick, will you please step outside for a moment?”

  “Why?” Rick asked.

  “Because I don’t need a judge to witness what I’m about to do to my brother,” Joel replied, not taking his eyes off of Tom who didn’t seem the least bit bothered by the threat.

  Rick opened the book, and Joel realized the piece of paper he inserted into it was a marriage certificate which hadn’t been signed yet. Rick tucked the paper between two other pages in the book and motioned for April to join them. “We’ll get this ceremony started.”

  Though April appeared hesitant, she joined them and clasped her hands in front of her, so Rick began performing the ceremony.

  “I can’t believe this,” Joel muttered as Sep raised the rifle.

  Exactly where did Sep think Joel was going to go? He might be able to get away from Tom or Rick, but he wasn’t stupid enough to believe he could tackle both of them, especially since they were older than him. Letting out a loud groan, he lifted his eyes to heaven and wondered what awful thing he did to deserve this fate. Rick went on and on about something that had to do with this disaster, but Joel refused to pay attention. Why would he care to listen to the words that sealed his doom?

  Beside him, April said “I do” in a tone that indicated she’d rather not but had no choice.

  Joel rolled his eyes. That was just great. His bride showed as much enthusiasm for this marriage as she did for the dust she wiped up when she cleaned. Oh yes. This marriage was going to be just the thing he needed to complete his life. When it was his turn to say “I do,” Tom nudged him in the side and pointed to Rick.

  Narrowing his eyes at Tom, he refused to speak the dreaded words.

  “Come on, Joel,” Rick said in a gentle voice. “It’s not as bad as you’re making it out to be.”

  “How would you know?” Joel snapped.

  “Because I’ve been there. Well, not with a gun and a judge like this, but I didn’t think I’d fall in love with your sister when we first met. And look at us now. I can’t imagine my life without Sally. Sometimes love takes a while to develop.”

  Joel shook his head, but Tom nudged him again. “Say it, Joel. Let’s complete this wonderful event.”

  A gun clicked from across the room where Sep stood, and Joel made sure to groan before he muttered the words that sealed his future for the worst. “I do.” He winced and blinked back tears. He used to be a happy man, and now…

  Rick let out an exasperated breath and asked, “I don’t suppose you’d like to kiss the bride?”r />
  “No!” Both Joel and April shrieked at the same time.

  “But that’s the best part,” Tom said.

  Joel scowled at him, but Tom’s lips curled up into an amused smirk. “You need a heart, Tom.”

  Sep lowered the gun and relaxed. “It’s done, right Judge Johnson?”

  Rick nodded and placed the marriage certificate on the table. “All I need are your signatures, but it’s a done deal.”

  “Oh good!” Tom rubbed his hands together and hurried over to the table where Rick handed him the fountain pen that was tucked inside his suit jacket. “I’ve been waiting for this day for years! I can’t wait to tell everyone Joel’s a married man.”

  “You live to torture me, don’t you?” Joel called out, unable to believe Tom went so far as to give a little leap before he signed the certificate.

  “I’ll notify Doctor Adams of the marriage, and Sally and I will bring your things out tomorrow. Sally will want to meet you, April,” Rick said.

  Joel glowered at his brother-in-law. “Doesn’t Sally have anything better to do than to stick her nose in everyone’s business?”

  “She’ll want to welcome April into the family,” Rick clarified.

  “Which is another way of saying she’ll want to see April so she can tell everyone else what she’s like. She does it whenever anyone new comes into the family. Next thing I know, I’ll have to take everyone to a family get-together.”

  “Well, now that you mention it, Christmas is coming up.”

  Tom walked over to Joel and handed him the pen. “That’s right. April and Sep, you’ll love Christmas at the Larson household. Ma and Pa like to make it a special day.”

  April glanced at Sep, and Joel couldn’t decide if April was pleased or apprehensive about the idea of meeting the Larson family. Given that it would be just April, Sep, and Nora, he figured they might be overwhelmed with the size of the Larson family. Six siblings who were married and had children of their own to bring out to the house. It was going to be a hectic day. But maybe that was good. He could run off and hide for a while. With any luck, he’d find a hiding place so good that April wouldn’t be able to find him and drag him back to this prison.

  “It’s your turn to sign,” Tom said, giving Joel a harder pat on the back than necessary.

  Trudging to the table, Joel scrawled his name and then shoved the pen at Tom. “There. Your dirty work is done.”

  Tom held the pen to April and said, “You’ll have to forgive Joel. He wakes up on the wrong side of the bed every day. I assure you, the rest of us Larsons are much more amiable.”

  Joel crossed his arms and watched in dread as April and Sep signed the certificate. This was it. He was now a husband whether he liked it or not. After Rick recorded the marriage in his book, he wished them health and happiness, adding a “Be patient. Joel will come around,” to April who didn’t look convinced.

  Once Tom and Rick left, Nora woke up from her nap and cried. If there was one saving grace in this whole travesty, it was that Nora was a part of it. April seemed to be more than happy for an excuse to run upstairs to get away from him.

  Figures. Not that Joel cared. Maybe now that he was strapped to her for the rest of his life, she’d leave him alone. Ignoring Sep, Joel decided he might as well make the best of it and looked for something else to fix around the house.

  Chapter Ten

  April didn’t know if Joel would come downstairs to eat supper or not, but she set out his plate and cup, just in case. Sep had told her he was upstairs again and finding more furniture to fix in her room. Most likely, he was hiding from them and mourning the loss of his freedom as a carefree bachelor.

  She, on the other hand, didn’t know how to feel about the whole thing. Granted, the situation wasn’t ideal. Having Tom and Rick force the marriage while Sep stood there with a gun was hardly a woman’s dream wedding. And if she was Joel, she wouldn’t like the way the marriage came about either. So she couldn’t blame him for being upset.

  She didn’t relish the thought of living with someone who resented her. She’d gone from one miserable marriage right into another. But all of these thoughts conflicted with the relief she experienced at knowing Sep no longer had to follow Joel around with a gun if Joel so much as got near the front or back door.

  When it was time to eat, she went to the hallway and called for the men to come to the kitchen. From where Nora sat in the highchair, she impatiently motioned to the food and whimpered. “Patience, honey. It’s coming,” April said while she set the large dishes in the center of the table.

  Sep entered the kitchen and took his seat across from April. “It looks good, sis,” he said, motioning to the boiled potatoes, pemmican, and slices of bread.

  “Do you think Joel’s coming?” she asked.

  He shrugged. “Last time I saw him, he was standing in the hallway and staring at the wall. Maybe he’s not right in the head.”

  “No, he’s fine in the head. I think he’s in shock.”

  “Maybe.” He glanced at the hallway. “Do we start eating?”

  She sat next to Nora who was reaching for the food. Nora’s lower lip trembled, and April knew that in another minute, she’d start bellowing if she didn’t get something to eat. “We might as well dig in,” she told Sep and gathered food to put on her daughter’s plate. “If he wants to eat, he’ll come down.”

  Halfway through the meal, she was beginning to believe Joel chose to go without supper when he trudged into the kitchen, his shoulders slumped and looking as if he lost his favorite horse. He collapsed next to Sep and languidly took one of the rolls and plopped it on his plate. He proceeded to take his portion of the potatoes and pemmican. With what could only be construed as a total lack of energy, he slowly lifted the cup of coffee to his lips and spent a good thirty seconds on sipping it before he placed the cup back on the table. He picked up his fork and poked one of the potatoes but spent a moment, still as a rock, before he finally lifted the potato to his mouth.

  April’s sympathy for Joel flew right out the window. She shot Sep an “I can’t believe this” look. Sep tapped his temple and crossed his eyes in a manner that told her he thought Joel wasn’t all mentally there. She shook her head to protest. That was just silly. Of course, Joel’s mental ability was fine. Joel was just putting on a show like a kid throwing a tantrum because he didn’t get his way.

  Figuring that paying attention to him would only encourage his behavior, she ignored him and focused on feeding Nora. The meal was as awkward and tense as every single meal had been ever since he showed up at their house, so that was nothing new. But toward the end of it when he let out a long and drawn-out sigh for what had to be the twentieth time during the meal, she lost her temper and slammed her fork on the table. Startled, Joel and Sep stared at her with wide eyes.

  Placing her hands on her hips, she set her irritated gaze on Joel and snapped, “If you sigh one more time, I’m going to dump what’s left on your plate into the sink. I’ve had enough of this. You are a grown man, not a little kid. Now act your age!”

  For a long moment, he stared at her. Then something in him sparked to life, and he threw his cloth napkin on the table. “Since I am now the head of the household, I demand to be treated with respect.”

  “When you act like a reasonable adult, I’ll treat you with respect.”

  “And I suppose throwing my food into the sink is an action that would prompt me to respect you?”

  “I don’t care if you treat me with respect or not. I just want my brother and daughter to be safe.”

  “Then you’d better start treating me with respect.”

  “Exactly how do you want me to do that? Sit at your feet and worship you?”

  He blinked and shook his head. “Don’t be absurd.”

  “Well, I’ve had all I can take of you moping around here. So we got married. It’s not the worst thing that can happen to you.”

  “How would you know?”

  “Because you’r
e a man. You now have a woman who’ll cook, clean, and do laundry for you. I’d say more to the list of benefits you’ll be getting from this arrangement, but in light of who else is in the room, I won’t.”

  “I did just fine on my own.”

  “As wonderful as I’m sure your single life was, you will do even better now. Just think of it. You can come home at the end of the day, kick your feet up and wait for bedtime. That is, unless you’re the type who enjoys the saloon.”

  His face turned red and he scowled. “What kind of man do you think I am? Going to a saloon? I’ve only been to a saloon once and that was to tend to a gunshot wound someone incurred while cheating at a poker game. As soon as I bandaged him, I was out of there. I don’t know what you take me for, sweetheart, but going to a saloon is not something I do with my free time.”

  “No?”

  “No! Believe it or not, in my spare time, I read the medical books Doctor Adams gives me. I plan to be a doctor someday, and I can’t be a doctor if I waste my time in a saloon. I started out with so little knowledge of healing people that the doctor almost didn’t take me under his wing. I had to show him I was serious. Why do you think I’d jeopardize that?”

  His passionate words surprised her. She’d never seen a man so dedicated to his job. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think of it like that. I assumed it was normal for a man your age to go to the saloon, regardless of what you did for a living.”

  “You shouldn’t assume all men do the same thing. None of my brothers go to the saloon either. Did your pa go there?”

  “In his younger days, before he married my mother.”

  “And then your husband?”

  “Yes, Harvey did.”

  This time when he sighed, there was a note of sympathy in it. “Now I understand why you assume what you do, but there are some men who don’t go to the saloon. Some of us find a better use for our time.”