Lone Star Baby Bombshell

by Lauren Canan

  Jace wanted to punch something other than a punching bag. Bret better be glad he was a thousand miles away. Jace had zero doubt his manager had lied to keep Jace from coming back to her. That he’d ever bought into that crap about Kelly having a criminal record caused a giant ball of rage to churn in his gut. His instincts had told him not to believe Bret at the time. Why the hell hadn’t he listened to them? Bret probably saw her as a threat to his future income. If Jace quit the films, his manager’s gravy-train run would be over.

  But while it was easy enough to blame his manager, ultimately, in this, there was no one to blame but himself.

  His mind returned to Kelly. A thousand questions hit him with pinpoint accuracy and he couldn’t answer even one of them. Did he have a child? A son? Despite using precautionary measures, it was more than possible. When he’d held Kelly in his arms, the passion was intense beyond anything he’d ever experienced. He’d never wanted to let her go. His desire for her was insatiable. Their nights together had turned into days, and then back into nights. It began as hot sexual need. But by the time he had to leave, that white-hot passion had expanded into the blending of two souls. Even now, just thinking about her, those blue-green eyes crazy with need for him, the scent of her shampoo, the feel of her silky skin and the soft cries as her desire crested at the pinnacle of their lovemaking, had parts of him hard and throbbing. Kelly had a way of making him crazy. Apparently some things didn’t change.

  * * *

  Kelly sighed with relief knowing she’d skirted one confrontation, but was equally aware there would be more to come. Jace wouldn’t give up and just go away. She knew him that well. He went at everything he did with dogged determination. Whether it was training a filly at the ranch where he’d stayed a year ago or hiding his identity from the world. From her. While it had been a shock to learn his real name and profession, it didn’t come as a surprise how easily he’d duped her. Jace Compton was proficient at anything he set out to do. It was small wonder he was highly acclaimed as an actor. And according to Matt, Jace had received the same admiration when he played pro football. It was all or nothing. Defeat wasn’t a word in his vocabulary.

  But she qualified the thought: it was possible he hadn’t as yet come up against a mother protecting her child. Whatever rules governed his life would fly out the window. There were no offsides or penalties. No interceptions. No retakes. Kelly might not be a match for him on a football field or a movie set, but Jace would encounter significant resistance if he tried to push into her life with intentions of taking her child. Figuratively, he’d be lucky if he came out with only minor scratches and a limp.

  She’d just turned off the kitchen light and was headed to her bedroom when a hard knock on the front door stopped her in her tracks. Surely not. Surely Jace wouldn’t come back here tonight. But intuition told her he was standing on the porch. Squaring her shoulders, she returned to the front room and opened the door.

  “We need to talk.”

  It was neither a demand nor a question, but somewhere in between. She wasn’t about to act as though she didn’t know what he wanted to discuss. With a glance back at Matt’s closed door, she stepped outside, closing the front door behind her. She absently noticed the rain had stopped. A cooling breeze touched her skin. Somewhere in the distance crickets chirped. But her focus was on the big man who stood in front of her, almost a silhouette in the night.

  “Is the baby mine?”

  Kelly wanted to be anywhere but here. She had often envisioned this moment, but at the same time kidded herself into believing it would never happen. She drew in a deep breath. She couldn’t lie to a man about his own child. Regardless of what he’d done to her, he had the right to know the truth. It was what he might try to do with that truth that had her on the brink of panic.

  “Yes.”

  “Kelly, why didn’t you tell me? The cell number I gave you should have worked.”

  He didn’t question whether she was telling the truth, a fact that surprised her. But his voice held frustration mixed with anger. She knew only too well what those feelings felt like.

  As many times and in as many ways as she’d tried and failed to reach him, his question sounded ridiculous. Part of her wanted to go back inside the house and close the door behind her, refusing to give him a second more of her time. The other part of her wanted to share the wonder of their beautiful son. The little things that made him laugh. The way he mouthed what would someday be words. The overall amazement of him.

  Did Jace deserve to know such things? Did he even care? She’d wasted months of her life alternately wishing he would come back and hoping he never would. In her mind she’d practiced what she would say if she ever saw him again, all sorts of scenarios with a wide variety of outcomes. Now that the moment was here, she didn’t have a clue how to proceed or what to say. She crossed her arms over her chest and faced him.

  “I did try to reach you. It was a bit of a challenge since I didn’t even know your name.”

  “Kelly—” He raked his hand through his hair.

  “The cell number you gave me kicked over to a voice mail box that was full. You really should learn to delete your old messages. Some new ones might be important.”

  She’d swear he cringed.

  “I was able to contact your friend, Garret. The son of the rancher you stayed with last year? He gave me another number and a password, but apparently he had it wrong or it had been disconnected.

  “I did speak with your manager. Bret... Gold-something. Goldberg? Goldman? Is that right? It took me about a week to track him down. Another five weeks to get him on the phone. He didn’t think it was such a good idea that I talk with you.”

  She ignored the obscenities that fell from Jace’s mouth.

  “I tried a couple more times to reach you through your cell, but after a few months, I gave up. So. Now you know. You have a son. Belated congratulations.”

  Kelly could hear the sarcasm in her own voice but made no effort to conceal it.

  “Kelly... I screwed up, okay?”

  She shook her head. “No, you didn’t. Screwing up is when you do something accidentally. Not when it’s done on purpose. And so, no. In this case, it isn’t okay. You lied. You lied to me from the moment we met. Then you disappeared and never looked back.”

  How many nights had she lain in bed, consumed with the need to hold him, to touch him, to hear his voice again? At times the want had been almost unbearable, her mind elevating it to the level of death. Had he ever thought of her? Did he even remember any part of their time together?

  She could sense his aura now, feel the warmth from his body through the darkness, and that same need ran through her like liquid fire. What was it about this man that made her want to forget the past year? Just forget everything and step into his arms and feel his touch once again? The thought made her angry, and she held on to that emotion. She couldn’t be weak. She had to think of Henry and be strong.

  “I understand why you’re mad. You have every right to be.”

  “Yes. I do. And before you accuse me of getting pregnant on purpose, I didn’t. I had a career plan and had envisioned a vastly different future. I have no way to prove it and I don’t intend to try. Now, did you want anything else? Or are we finished?”

  “I...I don’t know. I’ve only known I had a son for two minutes.”

  “Give it about nine months. Maybe it will soak in.” She hesitated, looking absently at the worn paint on the porch where they stood. “He...he almost died, you know?” Her voice broke; tears burned her eyes. “When he was born? They thought I would lose him. For six days, it was hour to hour, minute to minute. But he’s a tough little guy. He may not have been expected or wanted but... Yeah. He’s strong. And he’s smart.” She quickly swiped the tears from her cheeks. “If he gets his strength from his father, I’m grateful to you for that.”

  “I want to take care of you. Both of you.”

  Logic demanded she consider if it was fair to Henry
to deny the financial assistance Jace was more than capable of providing. But they were doing okay. Henry wanted for nothing and she didn’t want to open Pandora’s Box. She shook her head. “We don’t need to be taken care of. I want nothing from you. And he doesn’t need anything from you. There are no shackles here. Contrary to popular belief, I’ve never tried to con anyone. Or entrap them. I’m not about to start now. So just...you know, carry on with your life. Throw your wild parties. Make your films. It’s a little late for regrets, so don’t give us a second thought. We’ll be fine.”

  * * *

  It took a long time before he could swallow the huge wedge of emotion caught in his throat. Jace couldn’t let it end this way. In light of this new overwhelming discovery that he had a son, he instantly thought of his own upbringing and the monster it had made of him. For now it lay dormant inside, but eventually it would awaken. He should distance himself from Kelly and the baby. But his heart throbbed with the idea they had a son. They’d created a child. He was a father. That, in itself, was enough to mess up any man’s mind. And regardless of how hard he fought to hold on, his common sense went down the tubes.

  “I want to be in his life.” The words fell from his lips as though he was determined to be heard regardless of the consequences.

  “Then what?” She shrugged. “Get your attorneys involved? Let them decide on a visitation schedule that meets with your own agenda? See him when you have time or when you happen to be in the country? Introduce him to all your lady friends vying to be his new mommy? Let him grow up seeing his dad’s face on TV or the big screen? I’m sure the other kids will someday envy him for that. Wow.” Her sarcasm was obvious. “Maybe have your secretary send an expensive gift on his birthday? That’s always a nice touch.”

  “Dammit, Kelly. I don’t know how to answer you. I haven’t had a chance to work anything out.” He held her gaze as though it was a lifeline while experiencing a rush of emotions he didn’t want to feel and had no clue how to deal with.

  “Then let me answer the questions for you. No. No to you seeing him once or twice a year. No to long-distance phone calls and the inevitable excuses when you miss his birthday. Or his first spelling bee. Or his first softball game. No to him being a media spectacle. He deserves more, and I won’t step aside and let you do that to him. Somehow I’ll stop you if you try.”

  He ran a hand over his face. Dammit. He couldn’t deny that a lot of what she said was true. She’d pretty much nailed what would happen if his life continued as it had for the past twelve years. He was more than ready for some normal in his crazy life. He wanted a home, a family. But he didn’t know how to change, and if he was honest with himself, he didn’t know if he wanted to. The work, the travel, the physical aspects of it, the concentration needed...it was the only thing keeping the monster inside at bay.

  It was a damned if you do, damned if you don’t situation. He should take the out she was offering, make sure Kelly had plenty of money in her bank account and leave them both alone before he caused them to be thrown into the media spotlight, which she would no doubt view as under the bus. Before he became abusive like his old man. It made Jace every kind of selfish for wanting to keep them in his life. But he did. And how convoluted was that?

  Despite her show of bravado, he wanted to pull her into his arms, hold her close and promise he would make everything okay. But he couldn’t. He didn’t know how to make her believe things would work out when he had doubts about it himself. He knew he had to do something. But the answer of how to make this right seemed worlds away.

  After all she’d been through Kelly had more internal fortitude than anyone he’d ever known, with the single exception of his mom. But while Kelly’s resilience and internal strength were admirable, he couldn’t leave things as they were regardless of what she said she wanted or, in fact, didn’t want.

  “He is my son.”

  “Yes.” She nodded. “He is.”

  “And you want me to just walk away?”

  She looked down, as though giving her answer serious thought. “I’m telling you that you have a choice. His life will not revolve around yours. I won’t stand by while you break his heart, then try and pick up the pieces after you again disappear.”

  “Kelly—”

  She raised her hand to silence him.

  “That said...” She hesitated as if making up her mind about a difficult decision. “I have plans for tomorrow, but if you want to see him while you’re here, come by Monday afternoon. I get home around five thirty. He’s still too young to form any attachment or be upset when you leave.” She again brushed at a spot just below her eye. He heard a soft sniff. “I’m not doing this to be mean, Jace. You have every right to see your son. He’s beautiful. You will be so proud. I...I wish you could be in his life always. Every day. But we both know that isn’t realistic. And I have to protect Henry, even if it’s from his own father.”

  “We can work this out, Kelly. I know we can.”

  Her eyes found his through the darkness. “Maybe,” she whispered.

  Maybe was better than no. Jace would take it for the time being. He understood what she was saying. Between the travel his career required and the fear that he might someday become as abusive as his father, he couldn’t argue—even though he wanted to.

  “I have to be up early in the morning. It’s late.”

  “Okay. Monday. Five thirty. I’ll see you then.”

  Kelly nodded, stepped inside and closed the door.

  * * *

  Jace blindly turned and walked to his truck. His emotions were all over the place. Even though he didn’t like it at all, he had to give merit to Kelly’s need to protect the baby. He wanted to be angry with her, his mind playing out the possibilities of what would have happened if he hadn’t come back. Would she have waited until the child was grown to introduce them? Or simply raised the boy to believe he had no father? Either way was unacceptable. Yet on the heels of that thought was the fact that she had tried to reach him. He had no doubt she’d tried. It was a vicious circle and it all came back to him. He’d screwed up. Royally.

  He climbed inside the truck, slamming the door quite a bit harder than was needed. All the regrets, all the shouldas and couldas, were tripping through his mind. But the big question was: what was he going to do now? It was so overwhelming he wished he had reason to doubt his paternity. But he knew, without any doubt, the baby was his. Kelly just wasn’t a person who would make up something like this. Some would. But not Kelly.

  Inasmuch as she intended her life to continue as it had so far, Jace knew it wouldn’t happen. Her world was about to change and, from her perspective, not necessarily for the better. Sooner or later the media would find out about the ranch. It was only a matter of time. And eventually there was a very good possibility they would discover Kelly and their son. Especially if she’d listed Jace’s name on the birth certificate. It would turn her life into a media circus, one she was not equipped to handle. He’d dealt with overzealous fans many times and knew what they were capable of. It wouldn’t be safe for Kelly or the baby, and he could not stand back and let that happen.

  He pulled away from the curb and headed for the ranch. He had a son. Even knowing all the obstacles in front of them, the idea of having a child was enthralling. The more the fact soaked in, the more incredible it became.

  How could he go forward and not include Kelly and the baby in his life? Her vulnerability, her innocence about the world and the people in it who would use her for a stepping-stone to further their career, concerned him. The overwhelming desire to take care of her and the baby fought the knowledge that it could never happen because someday he could hurt them. A surge of intense feelings for her made him ache inside. The war that raged was the most intense pain he’d ever experienced. Broken bones had nothing on the anguish tearing his insides to shreds.

  If he cared about Kelly, about his son, he needed to walk away. But where would he find the strength to do so?

  Fo
ur

  “Thanks so much for the ride, Gerri,” Kelly told her friend as together they walked through the outside glass doors and down the steps of Great West Insurance. “I really do appreciate it.”

  “Not a problem, ever. You know that.”

  Kelly still hadn’t found anyone to check out her car. With fall roundup in full swing, all the guys she knew had either signed on as ranch hands for the extra wages or had something else going on. The local garage had offered to send someone out, but wanted one hundred and fifty dollars just to make the trip to Jace’s ranch. She’d told the mechanic she’d have to get back with him, biting her tongue to keep from calling him a crook.

  The car had been on her mind constantly since she’d left Jace’s home two days ago. Knowing it still sat on his property was unsettling; it was a tie to him she didn’t want.

  But as they turned onto her street, Kelly had to blink twice. Her old car sat in the driveway, and parked next to the curb was Jace’s dark metallic-blue pickup.

  “Hey, Kelly,” Gerri said. “Looks like someone decided to help you out after all.”

  When Gerri pulled up behind the truck, Kelly saw Matt and Jace tossing a football across the expanse of three front yards.

  “Yeah. Maybe. I’ll see you tomorrow. Thanks again.”

  Kelly walked toward Mrs. Jenkins’s house, hoping Gerri would drive away. Thankfully, she did, sticking her hand out the open window to wave goodbye as the Toyota continued down the street.

  Mrs. Jenkins’s home was only two houses down and around the corner. She was lucky to have such a kind and loving woman to keep the baby while she worked. Mrs. Jenkins’s family had moved to another state the previous year and she longed for her own children and grandchildren. She’d assured Kelly that keeping Henry was a joy. It filled a void in her life. It was a great solution for all concerned.

  Returning to her house with Henry, Kelly had just set the baby bag on the sofa and still had Henry in her arms when she saw Jace walking toward the door. Her heart immediately began doing flip-flops. Even the warmth of the baby snuggled against her couldn’t make her relax. What she wouldn’t give for Jace to be a regular person with a normal job. Maybe then things would have turned out differently. But why waste her time wishing for something that wasn’t even in the realm of possibility? She didn’t want to keep Jace from his son. But at the same time, his father’s world was not a place the baby should be.