Dark Side of the Moon

by Les Wood

  McLean smiled. ‘Will do.’ He leaned across the front seat and pulled the door closed.

  Boddice turned and headed down a small flight of steps leading to the beach. ‘This way lads,’ he called back to the rest of them. They followed him onto the sand, gritting their teeth against the icy wind whipping up from the sea. ‘Keep up,’ Boddice said. ‘Keep moving, get the old blood circulating and all that. It’s not too bad once you get used to it.’

  ‘Aye, right,’ Prentice mumbled. ‘Not too bad if you’ve got on a stinkin great overcoat like that, instead of this crappy, paper-thin shite Ah’ve got.’

  Boddice marched down the shore towards the waves which thundered onto the beach. He stopped at the edge, where the water swept and foamed towards his feet. The others came up behind him, stumbling on the ridges and hollows of the frozen sand.

  Boddice turned to them, barely able to pick out their faces in the darkness. ‘Right,’ he said. ‘I know this is cold and uncomfortable, but it’s one of the few places we can discuss this matter with absolute certainty no-one will be listening in. It’s important there is complete security on this.’

  ‘What about the car?’ John asked. ‘Surely that’s pretty secure? And warmer.’

  Boddice stared him down. ‘This,’ he said, ‘is where I want to have our discussion. Here and nowhere else.’ He paused, taking the time to make sure he had their full attention. ‘Understood?’ They nodded, hugging themselves for warmth. ‘Okay,’ he said. ‘This is the deal. I have a proposal... a plan, if you want.’ There. He had said it: The Plan. ‘I must warn you it’s not without risk. I know you’re not unfamiliar with violence and mayhem, the strong-arm stuff when dealing with the more unsavoury members of our society.’ He looked at Kyle and Prentice. ‘Well, some of you anyway.’ The twins and Boag shuffled and stamped their feet against the cold. Boddice went on. ‘This thing is different. There should be no need for any of that unpleasantness. But, if matters don’t pan out as intended, one or more of us could wind up in the pokey. For a very long time.’

  Kyle raised an eyebrow. ‘So why don’t you just tell us what’s on your mind?’ he asked. ‘What’s so risky about this plan?’

  Boddice smiled. ‘All in good time, Gordon. I need to know if you’re all in first. If it all comes off, if we’re successful, there will be handsome rewards for everyone.Very handsome. In fact,’ he glanced at Prentice who was looking out to the churning sea, seemingly not paying attention, ‘the rewards may be so great that we can all retire, go and do other things with our lives.’ He brought a handkerchief from his pocket, dabbed a wind-blown tear from his eye. ‘But I’m giving you the chance to refuse. Now, at the start, before things get too... involved. Before you know any of the details. You can walk away from it right now, and nothing will—’

  ‘Ah’ll do it.’ Boddice turned. It was Prentice. He was still staring at the waves, face screwed up against the wind. ‘Put my name down.’

  Boddice grinned and tapped his nose. ‘Ha! I knew you’d be first on board Davie. I can always count on you!’

  Prentice drew back from the edge of the water, started kicking some seaweed. Boddice studied the others. Kyle shook his head wearily, raised his hand and walked over to join Prentice.

  John cleared his throat. ‘Ah don’t mean to be awkward Mr Boddice, but Ah’m not so sure that...’

  Campbell clutched John’s elbow, began leading him away. ‘Mr Boddice,’ he said. ‘Do you mind if I have a quick word with my brother before we commit to anything?’

  Boddice blew on his hands. ‘Be my guest,’ he said. ‘But be quick.’

  Campbell pulled John a few yards back up the beach towards the promenade. ‘What?’ said John, seeing Campbell glaring at him. ‘Ah only wanted to...’

  ‘Shut up!’ said Campbell. ‘Do ye not see what’s happening here?’

  ‘Eh? What do ye mean?’

  ‘Why do ye think we’re down here, standing on this fucking beach? Do ye think we’re here to build sandcastles?’

  ‘Boddice said he wanted privacy, no eavesdroppers. You heard him yourself.’

  Campbell snorted. ‘Aye, he did say that, and it’s probably true to a certain extent.’ He put his arm around John’s shoulder. ‘But think on this. He said he’s giving us a chance to get out if we want. True. But if we say anything, give any indication that we’re not gonnae take part, ye can stake anything ye want, but we’ll not be leaving this beach alive.’

  ‘Aw wait a minute, ye can’t—’

  ‘Take a look about ye, John,’ Campbell interrupted. ‘Apart from us five, do ye see any witnesses?’

  ‘No, but—’

  ‘And did ye not notice that they two bastards Prentice and Kyle didn’t even think about it? They didn’t even wait to let Boddice finish. They’re not stupid John. They know the score. If we turn this down, Boddice won’t hesitate to slit our throats. There’s too much—’

  ‘Slit our throats? Ah don’t think so somehow. Why would he do that?’

  ‘Why? Why? Do ye even need to ask? For Christ’s sake, think for once.’ Campbell grabbed John by the shoulders. ‘He’s just told us something big is coming up. He wants us to be part of it. Now, we can turn him down, there’s no problem with that, he’s just offered us the chance hasn’t he?’

  John nodded.

  ‘Sure, we can say no,’ Campbell went on. ‘But just work it out. Do ye suppose Boddice will just let us walk away from here, with us knowing that a really big job is just about to happen? He’ll just let us go back to Two’s Tattoos and forget everything? That it’ll never cross our minds again, that we’ll never let it slip to somebody that Boddice has some grand plan?’

  John looked unsure. ‘Well... it’s a possibility that we...’

  Campbell let go of John’s shoulders. ‘Forget possibilities John, it’s a certainty. And you know what Ah’m talking about. Boddice is a psycho. More than that, he’s a bloody paranoid psycho.’ Campbell wondered if he’d said that a bit too loudly, and nervously glanced in Boddice’s direction. He didn’t seem to have heard – Boddice was deep in conversation with Boag. Campbell turned back to John. ‘Even McLean isn’t involved in this. You heard what Boddice said to him – what you don’t know can’t hurt you. Well John, we fucking well know don’t we?’

  ‘Aye, but not the details. He hasn’t told us anything yet.’

  ‘That’s beside the point. We still know he’s gonnae be up to something. Whatever it is, details or not.’

  ‘Ah suppose.’

  ‘Too right ye suppose.’ The wind was making Campbell’s nose run. He sniffed back a watery snotter. ‘So, if Boddice has let us know he’s got something planned, and let’s not forget he wants us to be involved in this, then Ah think it would be madness to turn him down. Not just because of the rewards, whatever the fuck they might be, but because Ah honestly think he’ll bump us off if we don’t go along with it.’ He gestured to Kyle and Prentice who were standing off to one side smoking. ‘They two would do it right here and now without hesitation, believe me. All it would take would be a wee nod from Boddice. Who’s to know, who’s to see out here in the dark? Ye saw what happened with Leggett back there at the bingo hall.’

  John shrugged and blew out a long sigh. ‘Alright, alright, if ye really think that might happen then we’ll go for it. But Ah think ye’re imagining half of this.’

  Campbell smiled. ‘Thank Christ for that. Ye had me worried there, brother. And ye never know, we might come out of this pretty well if what he says is true.’

  ‘Aye, well, Ah’m not so sure, but Ah’ll go with your gut feeling this time.’

  ‘Good man,’ said Campbell, guiding John back to where Boddice was talking to Boag. ‘If nothing else, it’ll get us out of this bloody freezing wind quicker.’

  ‘Well?’ Boddice asked as they came up. ‘Made up your mind?’

  ‘Aye,’ Campbell said. ‘Count us in.’

  ‘Excellent news!’ said Boddice. ‘Young Boag here has also said ‘yes
’. Not much persuasion required there, eh son?’ He gave Boag a hearty slap on the back, sending him staggering forward a few paces. Boddice looked at each of them in turn. ‘Good stuff,’ he said. ‘Strange as it might sound, I need all three of you. If even one had called off, the ball would be on the slates, and your teas would be out, as they say.’

  Campbell elbowed John in the ribs, muttering through gritted teeth, ‘Told ye.’ John kicked him on the shin.

  ‘Davie, Gordon!’ Boddice beckoned to Prentice and Kyle who made their way back to join the group. ‘We have a team, gentlemen. We appear to be in business.’

  ‘Maybe,’ Prentice mumbled, scowling. ‘But you haven’t said anything about what sort of business we’re supposed to be in. We’re freezing our nuts off out here, volunteering for stuff, and we don’t know what for. Some night this is turning out to be.’

  Boddice’s grin faded.

  Prentice faltered. ‘It’s just, Ah mean, what kind of job needs the five of us? What’s with all the extra secrecy?’

  Boddice said nothing, simply held Prentice’s gaze. The waves crashed in the background, plunging relentlessly onto the shore.

  Prentice blinked and dropped his gaze.

  He knew what was required. ‘Sorry,’ he said.

  Boddice beamed. ‘Apology accepted Davie, I appreciate how uncertainty can make you forget yourself. No harm done.’ Boddice hugged himself, bounced on his toes. ‘But you’re right of course, it is bloody cold out here. Not sure my balls are gonnae drop off, but it’s chilly sure enough.’ He spread his arms. ‘Come on lads, let’s walk, warm ourselves up a bit. And while we walk, I’ll explain.’

  He set off along the beach, the others huddled in behind him, walking carefully to avoid unseen seaweed, tree branches, jellyfish that might be lurking on the beach in the dark.

  ‘What do you know about the Dark Side of the Moon?’ asked Boddice.

  No-one said anything, unsure of what he was getting at. Prentice squinted out to sea, ignoring the question. ‘Come on,’ said Boddice. ‘The Dark Side of the Moon, what does it mean to you?’

  ‘A Pink Floyd album?’ suggested Campbell.

  ‘Who’s Pink Floyd?’ whispered John. Campbell increased his pace, pulling away from him.

  ‘Aye,’ said Boddice, ‘it is a record by them. Never heard it myself. Meant to be not bad from what I understand. But that’s not what I’m getting at.’ He stopped and turned to them. ‘It’s something else.’ He scanned their faces. ‘Nobody?’

  Boag cleared his throat. Boddice nodded to him. ‘On you go son, spit it out.’

  ‘It’s a diamond, isn’t it?’ Boag said.

  ‘How’d you know that?’ Kyle asked.

  Boag shrugged. ‘Dunno. Seen it on some posters in the town centre maybe.’

  Boddice laughed. ‘It’s not just any diamond. The Dark Side of the Moon is one of the rarest and most expensive in the world. It’s a purple diamond. Deep, deep purple, and expensive not only because of its size, but because it’s perfect. Absolutely flawless.’

  John nudged Campbell, mumbled under his breath. ‘Purple? Ah thought diamonds were white, see-through... ye know... clear.’ Campbell took no notice of him.

  Boddice carried on. ‘It’s a beautiful object, discovered in South Africa on the first day of the millennium. No-one could believe such a fantastic stone would—’

  ‘Ye want to steal it don’t ye?’ It was Prentice.

  ‘Steal it?’ said Kyle. ‘What the hell are you talking about?’

  Prentice looked up. ‘That’s what he wants. Steal it. And he wants us to do it for him. That’s his big plan.’ He stared at Boddice. ‘Isn’t it?’

  Boddice ran his tongue over his teeth and blinked a few times before breaking into a smile. ‘Correct Davie! Absolutely spot on. You’ve hit the nail on the—’

  ‘Wait a minute,’ said Kyle. ‘This fancy diamond, the Dark Side of the Moon, how are we gonnae steal that? Is it not kept in a big vault in New York or something?’ The twins nodded. This didn’t seem quite right.

  ‘Geneva, actually,’ said Boddice.

  ‘But not next year,’ Prentice interrupted. ‘Next year, it’s coming to Glasgow. For a whole month.’

  ‘That’s it!’ said Boag, snapping his fingers. ‘That’s what the posters were about. Ah knew Ah’d seen it somewhere. Glasgow – City of Jewellery, that big exhibition.’

  Boddice grinned. ‘Once again, you’re right. I knew I had picked the right boys for this job. You’re all so quick on the uptake.’

  ‘Ah’m not so sure about that,’ Campbell muttered, casting John a hurried sideways glance.

  Boddice heard him. ‘Don’t be so down on yourself, you two are key to the whole thing.’

  ‘We are?’ said John.

  ‘Oh yes,’ said Boddice. ‘But more of that later. It’s true, the Dark Side of the Moon will indeed be in Glasgow next summer. The prize exhibit for the coveted City of Jewellery festival. It’ll be on display for five weeks in Trusdale and Needham. It’s a major coup for the store.’

  ‘A coo?’ John whispered, covering his mouth with his hand. ‘What the hell is he going on about?’

  ‘Shhh!’ hissed Campbell.

  ‘While it’s there,’ said Boddice, ‘we’re going to take it.’

  ‘Just like that?’ asked Kyle.

  ‘Of course, we’re not going to waltz in on a busy Saturday and swipe it from under the noses of the security guards. But there is a way. I have a plan worked out. You all have your parts to play.’

  ‘Maybe so,’ said Prentice. ‘But what’s the point? This isn’t exactly our usual stuff, is it? We’ve never done anything like this before, have we? It’s always been drugs and extortion. Is this not a wee bit out of our league?’

  ‘Call it diversification,’ Boddice replied. ‘A one-off move into something new and untried. It’s perfect, because no-one is going to suspect us are they? Why should they? As you say, we’re strictly drugs. We’re not going to attract any attention from the law, cos, let’s face it, big-time stuff like this isn’t our game.’

  ‘But Mr Boddice,’ said Boag. ‘How are we gonnae pull something like this off? We’ve not got any expertise in this kinda thing.’

  ‘Ah, but you have,’ said Boddice. ‘You just haven’t realised it yet.’ He held his arm out, ushering them back to the car. ‘Look, I’m not saying this is going to be easy. There’ll have to be training and preparation. Lots of it. And, as I said, you’ll all have your own specific function to perform. This job requires all of you.’

  ‘So, for example,’ said Kyle. ‘What would ye be wanting me to do?’

  ‘Not now,’ said Boddice. ‘I’ll meet each of you in turn. In private. Spell out what I need from you.’ He turned to the twins. ‘Starting with you two. Your role is pivotal. I want to make sure that you’re up to it before we commit to anything else.’

  Campbell and John looked at each other. ‘Us?’ said Campbell. ‘Pivotal?’

  ‘Oh yes. You’re right at the heart of this. I’ll be wanting to see both of you tomorrow morning.’

  ‘Hang on,’ Prentice said. ‘Listen, don’t take this the wrong way. Ah’m not trying to be cheeky or anything.’ He swallowed. ‘Honestly. Ah’ve just got a question about all this robbery shite.’

  ‘Shite?’ said Boddice. ‘Don’t misunderstand me Davie. This isn’t shite. I’m deadly serious about this.’

  ‘Sorry,’ said Prentice, holding up a hand. ‘Figure of speech, that’s all.’

  ‘Fair enough,’ said Boddice. ‘What’s your question then?’

  ‘This diamond, the Dark Side of the Moon. It’s really famous, it’s worth millions...’

  ‘Thirty at least,’ said Boddice.

  They all stopped walking.

  ‘Thirty?’ said Kyle, his voice breaking into a higher octave in astonishment.

  ‘Holy fuck,’ said John. ‘That’s... that’s...’

  ‘A lot of fucking dosh,’ Campbell finished for him.


  ‘My point exactly,’ said Prentice. ‘What are we gonnae do with it once we’ve got it? Assuming we do get it, that is.’

  ‘What are we going to do?’ said Boddice. ‘I think I can take that particular burden from you, Davie. It’ll be me who sorts that one out.’

  ‘Well, whatever,’ said Prentice. ‘Ma point is, a famous diamond, worth thirty...’ he shook his head, amazed, ‘...thirty million pounds, how do we get rid of it? We can’t sell it – who could afford that kind of money? We can’t cut it into wee bits – who would handle it, knowing where it came from? We’d never get anything for it. How would we—’

  ‘Ransom it,’ said Boddice.

  ‘What?’ Prentice looked incredulous.

  ‘We’ll ransom it back to the owners, or to Trusdale and Needham, whoever comes up with the best offer.’

  Prentice burst out laughing. ‘Ransom it? Oh for fuck’s sake, that’s just great. A ransom. Ransoms never fucking work. The crims always get caught. Always. There’s never a—’

  Boddice spun round and punched him in the face. The others backed away. Prentice dropped to one knee, holding his jaw. He glared up at Boddice.

  ‘What the fuck is wrong with you tonight Davie?’ said Boddice. ‘You’ve been a growly bastard since the fucking Palace. Who spilled your pint?’

  Prentice got back to his feet. He glowered at the others. ‘It’s nothing,’ he said. ‘It’s just a mood, that’s all.’

  ‘I don’t need moods, Davie,’ said Boddice. ‘I need you on board with this two hundred percent, no half measures.’ He rubbed his knuckles. ‘Now, I don’t care what’s bothering you... I need to know, are you in or out?’

  Prentice could feel his rage rising, but was powerless to vent it. Not with Boddice. He slowed his breathing, closed his eyes. He felt all of this was a big fucking mistake. Boddice had been watching too many movies. Ransoms. Secret meetings. ‘Are you in or out?” Fuck’s sake. Prentice bent and scooped up sea water from a puddle in the sand, massaged the coolness onto his jaw. He looked at Boddice, vaguely aware of the others gathered in the background. He flicked his gaze to Kyle, saw him mouth a silent, exaggerated, wide-eyed Yes as he fumbled a cigarette from a crumpled packet. Prentice looked up at the sky, feeling the soft flutter of the snowflakes landing on his face. ‘Of course Ah’m in,’ he said at last. ‘You know fine well Ah wouldn’t let you down.’