Delphi Collected Works of W. Somerset Maugham (Illustrated)

by William Somerset Maugham

  Doctor.

  Poor chap, we could ill spare him. The fates never choose the right man.

  Dick.

  What do you mean by that?

  Doctor.

  If we had to lose some one, it would have been a damned sight better if that young cub had got the bullet which killed poor Richardson.

  Dick.

  George Allerton?

  Doctor.

  He wouldn’t have been much loss, would he?

  Dick.

  No, I’m afraid he wouldn’t.

  Doctor.

  Mackenzie has been very patient with him. I wonder he didn’t send him back to the coast months ago, when he sacked Macinnery.

  Dick.

  Poor George, everything has been against him.

  Doctor.

  Some men have got natures so crooked that with every chance in the world to go straight they can’t manage it. The only thing is to let them go to the devil as best they may.

  Dick.

  Alec was bound to give him another chance. [Alec Mackenzie comes in.] Hulloa, Alec! Where have you been?

  Alec.

  I’ve been going the round of the outlying sentries.

  Dick.

  All serene?

  Alec.

  Yes. I’ve just seen a native messenger that Mindabi sent to me.

  Doctor.

  Anything important?

  Alec.

  [Curtly.] Yes. How’s the arm, Dick?

  Dick.

  Oh, that’s nothing. It’s only a scratch.

  Alec.

  You’d better not make too light of it. The smallest wound has a way of being troublesome in this country.

  Doctor.

  He’ll be all right in a day or two.

  Alec.

  How are the others?

  Doctor.

  They’re going on pretty well on the whole. Perkins, of course, will be down for some days longer. And some of the natives are rather badly hurt. Those devils have got explosive bullets.

  Alec.

  Any one in great danger?

  Doctor.

  No, I don’t think so. There are two men who are in rather a bad way, but all they want is rest.

  Alec.

  I see.

  Dick.

  I say, have you had anything to eat lately?

  Alec.

  [With a laugh.] Good Lord! I quite forgot. I wonder when the dickens I had some food last.

  Dick.

  [Smiling.] You’ve had nothing to-day, have you?

  Alec.

  No, I don’t think so. Those Arabs kept us so confoundedly busy.

  Dick.

  You must be devilish hungry.

  Alec.

  Now you mention it, I think I am. And thirsty, by Jove! I wouldn’t give my thirst for an elephant tusk.

  Dick.

  And to think there’s nothing but tepid water to drink!

  Doctor.

  I’ll go and tell the boy to bring you some food. It’s a rotten game to play tricks with your digestion like that.

  Alec.

  [Gaily.] Stern man, the doctor, isn’t he? It won’t hurt me once in a way. And I shall enjoy it all the more now.

  Doctor.

  [Calling.] Selim!

  Alec.

  No, don’t trouble. The poor chap’s just turned in, dropping with sleep. I told him he might till I called him. I don’t want much, and I can easily get it myself. [He goes to a case and takes out a tin of meat and some ship’s biscuits.] It’s rather a nuisance that we’ve not been able to get any game lately.

  [He sets the food down before him, sits down,

  and begins to eat.

  Dick.

  [Ironically.] Appetising, isn’t it?

  Alec.

  Splendid!

  Dick.

  You have all the instincts of the primeval savage, Alec. It enrages and disgusts me.

  Alec.

  [With a laugh.] Why?

  Dick.

  You take food for the gross and bestial purpose of appeasing your hunger. You have no appreciation for the delicacies of eating as a fine art.

  Alec.

  The meat’s getting rather mouldy, isn’t it?

  Dick.

  Damnable! It’s been a source of great anxiety to me in England.

  Alec.

  What is he talking about now?

  Dick.

  I was going on with the thread of my observations, which you interrupted with the entirely obvious remark that the tinned meat was getting mouldy.

  Alec.

  I apologise profusely. Pray go on!

  Dick.

  I was about to observe that even in England you will eat the most carefully ordered meal with an indifference which is an outrage to decency. Indeed, you pay less attention to it than here, because at all events you do notice that the meat is mouldy. But if any one gives you a good dinner, you notice nothing. I’ve given him priceless port, Doctor, and he drank it as though it were cooking sherry.

  Doctor.

  I confess it is lamentable. But why is it a source of anxiety to you?

  Dick.

  What on earth is to happen to him in his old age?

  Alec.

  Explain yourself, my friend. Clearly but with as much brevity as possible.

  Dick.

  The pleasure of eating is the only pleasure that remains to the old. Love — what is love when you lose your figure, and your hair grows thin? Knowledge — one can never know everything, and the desire passes with the fire of youth. Even ambition fails you in the end. But to those who have lived wisely and well, there remain three pleasures every day of their lives: their breakfast, their luncheon, and their dinner.

  Alec.

  [With a laugh.] I wouldn’t worry about my old age if I were you, Dick.

  Dick.

  Why?

  Alec.

  Because I think it’s ten to one that we shall all be dead to-morrow morning.

  Doctor.

  What?

  [There is a slight pause while both men stare

  at him.

  Dick.

  Is this one of your little jokes, Alec?

  Alec.

  You have often observed that I joke with difficulty.

  Doctor.

  But what’s wrong now?

  Alec.

  You’ll neither of you sleep in your beds to-night. Another sell for the mosquitoes, isn’t it? I propose to break up the camp and start marching as soon as the moon goes down.

  Dick.

  I say, it’s a bit thick after a day like this. We’re all so done up that we shan’t be able to go a mile.

  Alec.

  Nonsense, you will have had two hours’ rest.

  Doctor.

  But some of those fellows who are wounded can’t possibly be moved.

  Alec.

  They must!

  Doctor.

  I won’t answer for their lives.

  Alec.

  We must take the risk. Our only chance is to make a bold dash for it, and we can’t leave the wounded here.

  Dick.

  I suppose there’s going to be a deuce of a row?

  Alec.

  [Grimly.] There is.

  Dick.

  Your companions seldom have a chance to complain of the monotony of their existence, Alec. What are you going to do now?

  Alec.

  At this moment, I’m going to fill my pipe.

  [There is a pause while Alec fills and lights

  his pipe.

  Dick.

  I gather from the general amiability of your demeanour that we’re in a rather tight place?

  Alec.

  Tighter than any of your patent-leather boots, my friend.

  Dick.

  [Gravely.] Have we any chance of getting through, old man?

  Alec.

  [Lightly.] Oh, I don’t know. There’s always a chance.

  Dick.

  Don�
�t grin at me in that irritating fashion.

  Alec.

  You must wish you were treading the light fantastic toe in a London ball-room, Dick.

  Dick.

  Frankly I do.... I suppose we’re going to fight again?

  Alec.

  Like Kilkenny cats.

  Dick.

  [Briskly.] Well, at all events that’s some comfort. If I am going to be done out of my night’s rest, I should like to take it out of some one.

  Alec.

  If things turn out all right, we shall have come near finishing the job, and there won’t be much more slave-raiding in this part of Africa.

  Dick.

  And if things don’t turn out all right?

  Alec.

  Why, then I’m afraid the tea-tables of Mayfair will be deprived of your scintillating repartee forever.

  Dick.

  Well, I’ve had a very good time in my life. I’ve loved a little, I’ve looked at some good pictures, read some thundering fine books, and I’ve worked and played. If I can only account for a few more of those damned scoundrels before I die, I shouldn’t think I had much to complain of.

  Alec.

  [Smiling.] You’re a philosopher, Dick.

  Dick.

  Doesn’t the possibility of an extremely unpleasant demise tempt you to a few appropriate reflections?

  Alec.

  I don’t know that it does. I’m a bit of a fatalist, and my theory is that when my time comes nothing can help me, but at the bottom of my heart I can’t resist the conviction that I shan’t die till I let myself.

  Doctor.

  Well, I must go and put things in order. I’ll bandage those fellows up, and I hope they’ll stand the jolting.

  Alec.

  What about Perkins?

  Doctor.

  Lord knows! I’ll try and keep him quiet with chloral.

  Alec.

  You needn’t say anything about striking camp. I don’t propose that any one should know till a quarter of an hour before we start.

  Doctor.

  But that won’t give them time.

  Alec.

  It must. I’ve trained them often enough to get on the march quickly.

  Doctor.

  Very well.

  [George Allerton comes in as the Doctor is

  on the point of going.

  George.

  Can I come in?

  Alec.

  Yes ... Doctor!

  Doctor.

  Hulloa!

  Alec.

  You might stay a minute, will you?

  Doctor.

  [Coming back.] Certainly.

  Alec.

  Didn’t Selim tell you that I wanted to speak to you?

  George.

  That’s why I’ve come.

  Alec.

  You’ve taken your time about it.

  George.

  I say, could you give me a drink of brandy? I’m awfully done up.

  Alec.

  [Shortly.] There’s no brandy left.

  George.

  Hasn’t the doctor got some?

  Alec.

  No!

  [There is a pause. Alec looks at him slowly.

  George.

  Why are you all looking at me like that? You look as if you were going to try me for something.

  Dick.

  Nonsense! Don’t be so nervous.

  Alec.

  [Abruptly.] Do you know anything about the death of that Turkana woman?

  George.

  No! How should I?

  Alec.

  Come now, you must know something about it. Last Tuesday you came into camp and told me the Turkana were very excited.

  George.

  [Unwillingly.] Oh, yes! I remember something about it. It had slipped my memory.

  Alec.

  Well?

  George.

  I’m not very clear about it. The woman had been shot, hadn’t she? One of our station boys had been playing the fool with her, and he seems to have shot her.

  Alec.

  Have you made no inquiries as to who the man was?

  George.

  [In a surly way.] I haven’t had time. We’ve all been worked off our legs during these three days.

  Alec.

  Do you suspect no one?

  George.

  I don’t think so.

  Alec.

  Think a moment.

  George.

  The only man who might have done it is that big scoundrel whom we got on the coast, the Swahili.

  Alec.

  What makes you think that?

  George.

  He’s been making an awful nuisance of himself, and I know he was running after her.

  Alec.

  I understand she complained about him to you?

  George.

  Yes.

  Alec.

  Do you think that would be enough evidence to punish him on?

  George.

  He’s a thorough blackguard, and after all, if one does make a mistake, he’s only a nigger.

  Alec.

  You’ll be surprised to hear that when the woman was found she wasn’t dead.

  [George gives a movement of consternation.

  Alec.

  She didn’t die for nearly an hour.

  George.

  [After a short pause.] Was she able to say anything?

  Alec.

  She accused you of having shot her.

  George.

  Me?

  Alec.

  It appears that you were playing the fool with her, and when she got angry you took out a revolver and fired point blank. Presumably that she should tell no tales.

  George.

  It’s a stupid lie. You know what they are. It’s just like them to tell an absurd lie like that. You wouldn’t believe a parcel of niggers rather than me, would you? After all, my word’s worth more than theirs.

  Alec.

  [Taking from his pocket an exploded cartridge.] This was found about two yards from the body. As you see, it’s a revolver cartridge. It was brought to me this evening.

  George.

  I don’t know what that proves.

  Alec.

  You know just as well as I do that none of our natives has a revolver. Besides ourselves only two or three of the servants have them.

  [George becomes white with fear, he takes out

  his handkerchief and wipes his face.

  Alec.

  [Quietly.] Will you give me your revolver?

  George.

  I haven’t got it. I lost it in the skirmish this afternoon. I didn’t tell you as I thought you’d be annoyed.

  Alec.

  I saw you cleaning it less than an hour ago.

  George.

  [With a shrug of the shoulders.] Perhaps it’s in my tent, I’ll go and see.

  Alec.

  [Sharply.] Stop here.

  George.

  [Angrily.] You’ve no right to talk to me like that. I’m sick to death of being ordered about. You seem to think I’m a dog. I came out here of my own free will, and I won’t let you treat me as if I were a servant.

  Alec.

  If you put your hand to your hip pocket, I think you’ll find your revolver there.

  George.

  I’m not going to give it to you.

  Alec.

  [Quietly.] D’you want me to come and take it from you myself?

  [The two men stare at one another for a moment.

  Then George slowly puts his hand to his

  pocket. He lakes out the revolver and

  suddenly aims at Alec. Dick beats up

  his arm as he fires, and the Doctor,

  springing forward, seizes him round the

  waist. Alec remains still.

  Dick.

  [During the struggle.] You young blackguard!

  George.

  Let me go, damn you!

  Alec.

  You need not hol
d him.

  [They leave go of George, who sinks cowering

  into a chair. Dick hands the revolver to

  Alec. He silently fits into a chamber the

  cartridge that had been brought to him.

  Alec.

  You see that it fits. Hadn’t you better make a clean breast of it?

  George.

  [Cowed.] Yes, I shot her. She made a row, and the devil got into me. I didn’t know I’d done anything till she screamed and I saw the blood.... What a fool I was to throw the cartridge away! I wanted to have all the chambers charged.

  Alec.

  Do you remember that two months ago I hanged a man to the nearest tree because he’d outraged a native woman?

  George.

  [Springing up in terror.] You wouldn’t do that to me, Alec. Oh, God, no, Alec, have mercy on me. You wouldn’t hang me. Oh, why did I ever come to this damned place?

  Alec.

  You need not be afraid. I’m not going to do that. In any case I must preserve the native respect for the white man.

  George.

  I was half drunk when I saw that woman. I wasn’t responsible for my actions.

  Alec.

  The result is that the whole tribe has turned against us. The chief is my friend, and he sent a message to tell me he couldn’t hold them in. It’s from him I got the cartridge. It wouldn’t be so serious, only the best fighting part of our forces are the Turkana, and we must expect treachery. They’ve stirred up the neighbouring tribes against us, and all the work we’ve been doing for a year is undone. That’s the explanation of the Arabs’ attack three days ago.

  George.

  [Sullenly.] I knew it was all my fault.

  Alec.

  The natives have made up their minds to join the slave-traders, and we shall be attacked on all sides to-morrow. We can’t hold out against God knows how many thousands.

  George.

  D’you mean you’ll all be killed?

  Alec.

  If we remain here there’s no escape.

  George.

  [In a whisper.] What are you going to do to me, Alec?

  [Alec walks up and down the tent.

  Alec.

  [Presently.] I think you might go and see your patients now, doctor.

  Doctor.

  Very well.

  Dick.

  Shall I go too, Alec?

  Alec.

  No, you can stay here. But don’t open your mouth till you’re spoken to.

  [The Doctor goes out.

  George.

  I’m sorry I did that silly thing just now. I’m glad I didn’t hit you.

  Alec.

  It doesn’t matter at all. I’d forgotten all about it.

  George.

  I lost my head, I didn’t know what I was doing.

  Alec.

  You need not trouble about that. In Africa even the strongest people are apt to get excited and lose their balance.

  [Alec re-lights his pipe, and there its a very short pause.