Delphi Collected Works of W. Somerset Maugham (Illustrated)

by William Somerset Maugham

  Amah. Sh, take care. Harry hear.

  Daisy. What have you done?

  Amah. I do nothing. Buddha, he makee mistake.

  Daisy. You fiend!

  Amah. How do I know, Daisy? I no can tell George coming here to-night. [The words come gurgling out, for Daisy has sprung upon her and seized her by the throat.] Oh, let me go.

  Daisy. You fiend.

  [Harry comes in. He is astounded at what he sees.

  Harry. Daisy, Daisy. What in God’s name are you doing?

  [Restrained by his voice, Daisy releases her hold of the Amah, but violently, pushing her so that she falls to the ground. She lies there, putting her hand to her throat. Daisy turns to HARRY.

  Daisy. It’s George.

  Harry. [Going up to the sofa and putting his hand on George’s heart.] Confound it, I know it’s George.

  Daisy. Is he dead?

  Harry. No, he’s only had a bang on the head. He’s stunned. I’ve sent for the doctor. Luckily he was dining at the Carmichaels’ and I sent George’s rickshaw to bring him along as quick as he could come.

  Daisy. Supposing he’s gone?

  Harry. He won’t have gone. They were going to play poker. By God, what’s this? [He takes away his hand and sees blood upon it.] He’s been wounded. He’s bleeding.

  [Daisy goes up to the body and kneeling down, feels the pulse.

  Daisy. Are you sure he’s alive?

  Harry. Yes, his heart’s beating all right. I wish the doctor would make haste. I don’t know what one ought to do.

  Daisy. How do you know he’s at the Carmichaels’?

  Harry. George told me yesterday he was going to be there. George said he did not want to play poker and he’d come along here after dinner.

  Daisy. [Springing to her feet.] Did you know George was coming?

  Harry. Of course I did. When I heard someone shouting in English the first thing I thought of was George.

  [Daisy bursts into a scream of hysterical laughter. The Amah suddenly looks up and becomes attentive.

  Harry. Daisy, what’s the matter?

  Amah. [Sliding to her feet and going up to Daisy, trying to stop her.] Maskee. She only laughy laughy. You no trouble.

  Harry. Get some water or something.

  Amah. [Frightened.] Now, my pletty, my pletty.

  Daisy. [Recovering herself, violently.] Let me be.

  Harry. By George, I believe he’s coming to. Bring the water here.

  [Daisy takes the glass and leaning over the sofa, moistens George’s lips. He slowly opens his eyes.

  George. Funny stuff. What is it?

  Harry. [With a chuckle that is half a sob.] Don’t be a fool. Oh, George, you have given me a nasty turn.

  George. There’s something the matter with the water.

  Daisy. [Looking at it quickly.] What?

  George. Damn it all, there’s no brandy in it.

  Daisy. If you make a joke I shall cry.

  [He tries to move, but suddenly gives a groan.

  George. Oh Lord. I’ve got such a pain in my side.

  Harry. Keep quiet. The doctor will be here in a minute.

  George. What is it?

  Harry. I don’t know. There’s a lot of blood.

  George. I hope I haven’t made a mess on your nice new sofa.

  Harry. Damn the sofa. It’s lucky I heard you shout.

  George. I never shouted.

  Harry. Oh, nonsense, I heard you. I thought it was you at once.

  George. I heard a cry for help too. I was just coming along. I nipped out of my rickshaw and sprinted like hell. I saw some fellows struggling. I think someone hit me on the head. I don’t remember much.

  Harry. Who did cry for help?

  George. [After a pause.] Nobody.

  Harry. But I heard it. Daisy heard it too. It sounded like someone being murdered. [As George gives a little chuckle.] What’s the joke?

  George. Someone’s got his knife into you, old man, and the silly ass stuck it into me instead.

  [The Amah pricks up her ears.

  Daisy. I’m sure you oughtn’t to talk so much.

  George. It’s a very old Chinese trick. They just got the wrong man, that’s all.

  Harry. By George, that explains why I tripped.

  George. Did you trip? A piece of string across the street.

  Harry. I wasn’t expecting it. I went down like a ninepin. I was up again in a flash and just threw myself at the blighters. You should have seen ’em scatter. Luckily I got one of them.

  George. Good. Where is he?

  Harry. He’s here. I’ve tied him up pretty tight.

  George. Well, we shall find out who’s at the bottom of this. The methods of the Chinese police may be uncivilized, but they are ... Oh, Lord, I do feel rotten.

  Harry. Oh, George.

  [Daisy gives Harry the glass and he helps George to drink.

  George. That’s better.

  Harry. We’d better get you to bed, old man.

  George. All right.

  Harry. Wu and I will carry you. Wu, come along here.

  [The boy approaches. The Amah realizes that for a moment the prisoner is to be left unguarded. There is a table knife on one of the occasional tables with which Daisy has been cutting a book. The Amah’s hand closes over it.

  George. Oh, no, that’s all right. I can walk.

  [He gets up from the sofa. Harry gives him an arm. He staggers.

  Harry. Wu, you fool. [Daisy springs forward.] No, let me take him, Daisy. You’re not strong enough.

  George. [Gasping.] Sorry to make such an ass of myself.

  [Harry and Wu, holding him one on each side, help him out of the room.

  Daisy. Shall I come?

  Harry. Oh, I’ll call you if you’re wanted.

  [Daisy sinks into a chair, shuddering, and covers her face with her hands. The Amah seizes her opportunity. She cuts the rope which binds the prisoner. As soon as he is free he steps out into the darkness. The Amah watches for a moment and then cries out.

  Amah. Help, help!

  [Daisy springs up and Harry hurries in.

  Harry. What’s the matter?

  Amah. Coolie. Him run away.

  Harry. [Looking at the place where he had been tied up.] By God!

  Amah. Missy feel velly ill. No can stand blood. Feel faint. I run fetch smelly salts and when I come back him gone. Him bad man.

  [Harry goes to the door and looks at the rope.

  Harry. This rope’s been cut.

  Amah. Perhaps he have knife. Why you no look see before you tie him.

  Harry. [Looking at her sternly.] How do you think he could get at a knife with his hands tied behind his back?

  Amah. I no sabe. Maybe he have friend.

  Harry. Didn’t you hear anything, Daisy?

  Daisy. No. I wasn’t thinking about him. Oh, Harry, George isn’t going to die, is he?

  Harry. I hope not. I don’t know what sort of a wound he’s got. [The Amah, thinking attention is withdrawn from her, is slipping away.] No, you don’t. You stop here.

  Amah. What thing you wantchee?

  Harry. You let that man go.

  Amah. You velly silly man. What for I want let him go?

  Harry. [Pointing.] What’s that knife doing there? That’s one of our knives.

  Amah. Missy takey knife cutty book.

  Harry. When I got into the street I wanted to fire my revolver to frighten them. There wasn’t a cartridge in it. I always keep it loaded and locked up.

  Amah. Revolver. I don’t know him. I never have see revolver. Never. Never.

  [She makes a movement as though to go away. He seizes her wrist.

  Harry. Stop.

  Amah. My go chow. My belong velly hungly. You talk by and by.

  Harry. If I hadn’t come in just now, Daisy would have strangled you.

  Amah. Daisy velly excited. She no sabe what she do. She never hurt old amah.

  Harry. Why were you angry with her, Daisy?


  Daisy. [Frightened.] I was beside myself. I don’t know what I was doing.

  Harry. [With sudden suspicion.] Are you trying to shield her?

  Daisy. Of course not. Why on earth should I do that?

  Harry. I suppose you look on it as a matter of no importance that she tried to kill me.

  Daisy. Oh, Harry, how can you say anything so cruel? Why should she try and kill you?

  Harry. I don’t know. How do you expect me to guess what is at the back of a Chinese brain? She’s hated me always.

  Amah. You no love me velly much.

  Harry. I’ve put up with her just because she was attached to you. I knew she was a liar and a thief. It was a trap and I escaped by a miracle. Only, George has got to suffer for it.

  Daisy. Harry, you’re nervous and excited.

  Harry. What are you defending her for?

  Daisy. I’m not defending her.

  Harry. One would almost think she had some hold on you. I’ve never seen anyone let an amah behave as you let her behave.

  Daisy. She’s been with me since I was a child. She — she can’t get it into her head that I’m grown up.

  Harry. Well, I’ve had about enough of her. [To the

  Amah.] The police will be here in ten minutes and I shall give you in charge instead of the man you allowed to escape.

  Amah. You give me policeman? I no have do wrong. What for you send me to prison?

  Harry. I daresay you know what a Chinese prison is like better than I do. I don’t think it’ll be long before you find it worth while to tell the truth.

  Daisy. [With increasing nervousness.] Oh, Harry, I don’t think you ought to do anything before you’ve had time to think. After all, there’s absolutely no proof.

  Harry. [Looking at her with perplexity.] I don’t understand. What is the mystery?

  Daisy. There is no mystery. Only I can’t bear the idea that my old amah should go to prison. She’s been almost a mother to me for so many years.

  [There is a pause. Harry looks from Daisy to the Amah.

  Harry. [To the Amah.] Then get out of here before the police come.

  Amah. You talkee so quick. No can understand.

  Harry. Yes, you can. Unless you’re out of here in ten minutes I shall give you in charge ... Go while the going’s good.

  Amah. I think I go smoke pipe.

  Harry. No, you don’t, you get out quick or I’ll throw you out myself.

  Amah. You no throw me out and I no go to prison.

  Harry. We’ll soon see about that.

  [He seizes her roughly and is about to run her out into the courtyard.

  Daisy. No, don’t, Harry. She’s my mother.

  Harry. That!

  [He is aghast. He releases the Amah. He looks at her with horror. Daisy covers her face with her hands. The Amah gives a little snigger.

  Amah. Yes, Daisy, my daughter. She no wanchee tell. I think she a little ashamed of her mother.

  Harry. My God!

  Amah. I velly pletty girl long time ago. Daisy’s father, he call me his little lotus flower, he call me his little peach-blossom. By and by I no velly pletty girl any more and Daisy’s father he call me you old witch. Witch, that’s what he call me. Witch. He call me, you old hag. You velly bad man, I say to him. You no Christian. You go to hell, he say. All right, I say, you baptize me.

  [Harry turns away, with dismay, and repulsion. The Amah takes her pipe and lights it.

  END OF SCENE IV

  SCENE V

  The courtyard in the Andersons’ part of the temple.

  At the back is the outer wall raised by two or three steps from the ground. From the top of the wall, projects a shallow roof of yellow tiles supported by wooden pillars painted red, shabby and rather weather-worn, and this roof is raised in the middle of the wall, where there is a huge wooden gateway. When this is opened the street is seen and on the other side of it a high, blank, white wall. The courtyard is paved with great flags. On each side of it are living rooms.

  There is a long rattan chair; a round table and a couple of armchairs. George is lying on the long chair, looking at an illustrated paper, and the Amah is seated on the ground, smoking her water-pipe.

  George. [With a smile, putting down the paper.] You’re not as chatty as usual this afternoon, amah.

  Amah. Suppose I got nothing to talk about I no talk.

  George. You are an example to your sex, amah. Your price is above rubies.

  Amah. No likee rubies velly much. No can sell velly much money.

  George. In point of fact I wasn’t thinking of giving you rubies, even reconstructed, but if I did I can’t think you’d be so indelicate as to sell them.

  Amah. I no think you velly funny man.

  George. I was afraid you didn’t. Would you think it funny if I sat on my hat?

  Amah. Yes, I laugh then. Hi, hi.

  George. The inscrutable heart of China expands to the self-same joke that convulses a duchess in London and a financier in New York.

  Amah. You more better read the paper.

  George. Where’s Missy?

  Amah. I think she in her room. You wanchee?

  George. No.

  Amah. I think she come by and by.

  George. [Looking at his watch.] Mr. Anderson ought to be back from the office soon. [There is a loud knocking at the door.] Hulloa, who’s that?

  [A Servant comes out of the house and going to the gateway withdraws the bolt.

  Amah. I think doctor come see you, maybe.

  George. Oh no, he’s not coming to-day. He said he’d look in to-morrow before I started.

  [The Amah gets up and looks at the doorway of which now the Servant has opened one side. Harold Knox and his sister Sylvia are seen.

  Knox. May we come in?

  George. Good man. Of course.

  [They come towards George. Sylvia is a very pretty, simple, healthy, and attractive girl. She is dressed in a light summer frock. There is in her gait and manner something so spring-like and fresh that it is a pleasure to look at her.

  Knox. I’ve brought my young sister along with me. [As George rises to his feet.] Don’t get up. You needn’t put on any frills for a chit like that.

  George. Nonsense. I’m perfectly well. [Shaking hands with Sylvia.] How d’you do? My name is Conway.

  Knox. I only omitted to inform her of that fact because she already knew it.

  Sylvia. Strangely enough that happens to be true. But I wish you’d lie down again.

  George. I’m sick of lying down. The doctor says I’m perfectly all right. I’m going home to-morrow.

  Knox. [Catching sight of the Amah.] Hulloa, sweetheart, I didn’t see you. Sylvia, I want you to know the only woman I’ve ever loved.

  George. [Smiling.] This is Mrs. Anderson’s amah.

  Sylvia. [With a little friendly nod.] How do you do?

  Amah. [All in a breath.] Velly well, thank you. How do you do? Velly well, thank you ... You Mr. Knox sister?

  Sylvia. Yes.

  Amah. You missionary lady?

  Sylvia. No.

  Amah. What for you come China then?

  Sylvia. I came to see my brother.

  Amah. How old are you?

  Knox. Be truthful, Sylvia.

  Sylvia. I’m twenty-two.

  Amah. How many children you got?

  Sylvia. I’m not married.

  Amah. What for you no married if you twenty-two?

  Sylvia. It does need an explanation, doesn’t it? The truth is that nobody’s asked me.

  Knox. What a lie!

  Amah. You come China catchee husband?

  Sylvia. Certainly not.

  Amah. You Christian?

  Sylvia. Not a very good one, I’m afraid.

  Amah. Who baptized you?

  Sylvia. Well, you know, it’s an awfully long time ago. I forget.

  Knox. She’s like me, amah, she’s a Presbyterian.

  Amah. You go to hell then. Only Seventh Day Adventists
no go to hell.

  Sylvia. It’ll be rather crowded then, I’m afraid.

  Amah. You only baptized once?

  Sylvia. So far as I know.

  Amah. I baptized one, two, three, four, five times. I velly Christian woman.

  Knox. I say, old man, I don’t want to dash your fond hopes, but in point of fact we didn’t come here to see you.

  George. Why not? Surely Miss Knox must want to see the principal sights of Peking.

  Knox. The man is not a raving lunatic, Sylvia. His only delusion is that he’s a humourist ... Sylvia thought she’d like to call on Mrs. Harry.

  George. I’m sure Daisy will be very glad. Amah, go and tell Missy that there’s a lady.

  Amah. Can do.

  [Exit.

  Knox. I say, have they caught any of those blighters who tried to kill you?

  George. No, not a chance. They weren’t after me, you know; they were after Harry.

  Knox. Is there anyone who has a grudge against him?

  George. I don’t think so. He doesn’t seem very keen on discussing the incident.

  [Daisy comes in.

  Knox. Here she is. I’ve brought my sister to see you, Mrs. Harry.

  Daisy. [Shaking hands.] How do you do?

  Sylvia. What a wonderful place you live in!

  Daisy. It’s rather attractive, isn’t it? You must see the temple before you go.

  Sylvia. I’d love to.

  Daisy. Do sit down. [To Knox.] What do you think of my patient?

  Knox. I think he’s a fraud. I never saw anyone look so robust.

  Daisy. [Delighted.] He’s made a wonderful recovery.

  George. Thanks to you, Daisy. You can’t think how she nursed me.

  Knox. It was rather a narrow escape, wasn’t it?

  Daisy. For two days we thought he might die at any minute. It was — it was rather dreadful.

  George. And do you know, all that time she never left me a minute. [To Daisy.] I don’t know how I can ever thank you.

  Daisy. Oh, well, Harry had his work. I didn’t think he ought to be robbed of his night’s rest for a worthless creature like you, and I hated the idea of a paid nurse looking after you.

  Sylvia. You must have been worn out at the end of it.

  Daisy. No, I’m as strong as a horse. And it was such a relief to me when the doctor said he was out of danger, I forgot I was tired.

  Knox. I don’t know why you bothered about him. There are such a lot of fellows who want his job and they all know they could do it much better than he can.