Magic and Mayhem: A Collection of 21 Fantasy Novels

by Jasmine Walt

  “She’s so...cold,” I shuddered. “Why is she such a bitch?”

  He laughed somberly. “It’s because she’s a misunderstood bitch.”

  I nodded. I was familiar with the story now, and I made a mental note to remind myself that his father was a creep. “And Hades kidnapped and raped her. She ate a pomegranate, which is why she has to come back six months out of the year. I’d be bitter too, actually.”

  Surprisingly, he shook his head. “That first part isn’t true. Mother fell in love with Dad too, and when they consummated it, my grandmother found out. The only good excuse she came up with was that Dad had kidnapped her and raped her. True, she ate a pomegranate so she has to stay here for a bit each year. But Dad isn’t a misogynist and Mother isn’t oppressed. Dad lets her use that story because it makes her happy.”

  I hid my shock at that. “So Persephone really is just a bitch.”

  He gave me a bitter smile. “My grandmother is an even bigger one. I can see why Mom let the lie spread. It doesn’t give her any right to do it, but I can see why.”

  I went back to the palace after that. My cheeks were still red when I returned to my room. Tisiphone was out front, and she grinned wickedly.

  “Are you sure you’re not crushing, hun?” she taunted.

  “Shut up, Tisiphone,” I barked.

  She laughed.

  I planned to go to my room to lie down, but I decided against it, and it wasn’t just because she was in the way. I needed to blow off some steam before I tried to relax. This helpless feeling was pissing me off and I had to banish it.

  I looked at Tisiphone for a second, debating whether I could trust her. I decided I had no choice. She had backed me up with Daedalus and cooperated with me, even if she was a bit snarky. She lived in the Underworld, and she would know the best places to go. I needed her guidance. And, I kind of liked her attitude.

  Besides, I felt like I owed her something for causing her pain in the dining hall.

  I was going to trust here.

  “Is there a shooting range here?”

  Tisiphone smirked. “Want to shoot something?”

  “No,” I said, not rising to the bait. I took out my new gun and inspected it. “But if I’m supposed to be protecting someone, I need to be used to this gun, and I haven’t fired it yet.”

  “Oh!” she cried, surprising me with her sudden reverence. Her eyes glittered enviously. “Hades gave you a God Gun,” she said softly. She reached out to touch it, tenderly, like she was touching a baby. “I’ve never seen one in person before.”

  “You don’t have one? I thought you were a cop.”

  Tisiphone nodded. “There’s only two of these guns in existence,” she said. “Hades carries one. And now you have the other. He thinks they’re too dangerous to be entrusted to just anyone. And now you have it.” The longing in her voice made it sound like she was talking about a long lost lover. “I don’t carry anything because I have supposed goddess powers.” She rolled her eyes. True, I hadn't seen her use any powers yet, but surely they were better than a gun like this.

  An idea popped in my mind.

  “Do you want to try it?” I asked, hoping that this might lessen the rift between us.

  Her eyes shined as she looked over at me. “Are you serious?”

  “Yep.”

  She couldn’t get me to the shooting range fast enough. She squealed with excitement, grabbed my hand, and—to my utter surprise and horror—winked us out of existence. Luckily, we came back into existence the instant we left. My reflexes were so slow that I had only just started screaming as we teleported back to reality. It was so quick and sudden, and I had no idea she was capable of doing something like that.

  People in the Underworld obviously weren’t big on warnings.

  I shrieked again when I realized we weren’t in front of my bedroom any more. We were standing in a fluorescent indoor stadium, and the unexpected sound of gunfire blasted me out of my stupor. Immediately, my cheeks burned as everyone in the warehouse stopped firing to look at me.

  “Ugh, you’re such a girl,” Tisiphone said, her usual persona back.

  “Am not,” I muttered, trying to fight my grin. This was progress, at least. I suspected that despite what she said about us never being friends, she’d come around. At least I hoped so. I could really use a friend.

  I glanced around me, taking stock of where we were. There were about twenty people scattered about, although many weren’t quite what I’d call human. A few looked exactly like Tisiphone, red hair, green skin, blue eyes, and everything. I guess they were other Furies. Some of the others were taller, too skinny to really be considered human. And then there were those that were part animal, like centaurs and satyrs. There were also what I'd call entities, beings that were merely an imprint on the environment and constantly changing their shape.

  I was definitely not in San Francisco any more. I mean, San Francisco was weird, but this brought eccentric to a whole new level.

  They watched me with a sort of wary curiosity. I realized that I was the only one who was mortal. I was the strange one here.

  “Everyone,” Tisiphone called, “this is Callie. She’s Hades' watchdog for the next few months. And,” she added with a smirk, “she has a God Gun.”

  I winced at the stunned, reverent silence that hung in the air. As if I wasn’t different enough, here was another reason to treat me differently. I was mortal, I wasn’t dead, and I was so out of my league. I also didn’t like being referred to as a watchdog.

  One of the beings there said as much. “Why? She’s nothing special.”

  Tisiphone eyed the guy, a satyr that was even shorter than she was. “You dare question Lord Hades’ authority?” The satyr shrank from her gaze. “Callie’s here to protect Lord Plutus,” she said, in her commanding voice. “Let’s see how well she does.”

  I quirked an eyebrow at her cryptic meaning. I didn’t have time to ask because all of the people in the training facility descended upon me like a flock of vultures. They didn’t surge into me or shove their way towards me, unlike the newly dead had done when I first arrived in the Underworld. They were touching me with what felt like religious fanaticism. I guess, if you were looking at someone who was charged with saving a god and they had what was probably a legendary weapon, you’d do the same too.

  I didn’t feel threatened or anything, even though a man with a bull’s head moved a little close to me for comfort. These were all just citizens of the Underworld. Still, it made me uneasy.

  The whole thing died down after a bit, and while everyone kept an interested eye on me, they went back to what they were doing. Some were firing at targets from guns, others from bows and arrows. A few were spouting off magic spells. Some creatures wrestled.

  “Where are we?” I asked Tisiphone under my breath.

  “We’re at a training facility for all of the enforcement in the Underworld, just outside the Asphodel Meadows.” At my blank look, she sighed. “We’re a ways away from the palace.” She nodded, cocking her head towards the center of the warehouse. “This’ll be the best place to learn how to use that gun.” Her eyes hungrily raked over the pistol tucked into my jeans.

  “Well, let’s find a target then,” I said with an awkward grin.

  She pushed me over to my own section. I put on a pair of goggles and ear muffs, feeling oddly like I was back in San Francisco, training for work. For being an Ancient Greek Underworld, this whole setup certainly felt pretty modern. I even had a mechanical hook to move my target back. A few of the creatures nearby stopped what they were doing so they could turn an eye and watch me.

  I pulled out the gun, noting that it fit my hand like a glove. If I didn’t know any better, I would say that it had been made for me. But that was impossible, right? Hades had only known that I was dead since yesterday, yet I inferred from Tisiphone that my God Gun had been around for a long while. Maybe it molded itself to whoever owned it.

  God Gun. Such a stupid name.
<
br />   My target, a simple silhouette of a human’s head, watched me from twenty-five yards away. I held my gun with both hands, stood with my feet shoulder-width apart, aimed with both eyes open, and fired.

  One instant the target was there and gone the next. For a .45 caliber bullet, my shot literally disintegrated the target. That wasn’t the worst thing: The recoil whipped my arms upward, nearly over my head and I took a few steps back to regain my balance.

  “Whoa.”

  I had muscles. I worked out to be able to hold my own in a fight. I’ve shot quite a few guns, mostly handguns, and a few rifles. I’ve dealt with loads of kickback. I have never felt anything like that. It was like I was firing a handheld bazooka, souped up with even more power.

  “That’s why we’re here to train,” Tisiphone said with a smirk. “Otherwise, you’d be pretty worthless. A dangerous gun, yes, but we only want to make it dangerous for the bad guys.”

  I gave her a grim smile, excited at what this thing could do. “Let’s take turns,” I said.

  Her smile was genuine. “Let’s!”

  Despite her eagerness to try out the gun, after a few shots, she insisted I spend more time firing at the target than her. Because she was so petite, I she was having real trouble dealing with the recoil. It wasn’t easy for me either but I refused to look weak, especially when all these other people, creatures, were watching.

  The crowd of creatures watched every shot. My biceps and shoulders were killing me and I knew that I was going to suffer for it tomorrow. When it felt like I wouldn’t be able to bring my arms above my head, I decided to call it quits.

  Tisiphone winked us back to the palace in front of my room.

  “I should really learn how to do that,” I muttered sleepily.

  “You’re mortal, you can’t.”

  “Yeah, yeah.” Another reminder that I was absolutely powerless here. I couldn't really do anything, being mortal. In a flash, I remembered the question that was bothering me from earlier.

  “Earlier today, Plutus said that the previous Cerberus was killed,” I said.

  Tisiphone stilled. “Yeah,” she answered. “He was poisoned.”

  “Like Barnabas?” I asked. Tisiphone's wince was answer enough. “Did you investigate that?” I asked. It seemed like it would have been, yet I figured I'd ask.

  “Yes,” she said. “He died a horrible death. It was...awful. I can send you the report.”

  “I'd appreciate that,” I said. “Who trains and takes care of the dogs? I'd like to ask them a few questions about the former Cerberus.”

  Tisiphone was shaking her head, and several tears fell. “You can't. Barnabas took care of them. He was the dog handler.”

  I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I'm sorry.”

  She numbly nodded. “As I said, I'll send you the information and I'll take you to see Barnabas' replacement, but he won't know much about what happened. Pretty useless if you ask me.”

  I thanked her and awkwardly gave her a hug. She hugged me back, nodded at me, and turned away. I nearly stumbled into my room, and even though I was disgustingly sweaty, I was too exhausted to really care. I collapsed on my bed and passed out within a few seconds.

  Sleep was the only place where I felt at home.

  8

  It was unnaturally dark when I woke up hours later. I was still on my stomach, still fully clothed. I supposed the Underworld had a day and night cycle. It was definitely darker than what I was used to in San Francisco, but I couldn’t be sure if it was because I was away from city lights, or because I was nearly dead.

  I grimaced and rolled on my side. I hated sleeping in clothes, and I was so tired, I hadn’t even thought to take the God Gun out from where it was tucked in. Someone had snuck in and thoughtfully laid a blanket over me, which was a nice gesture, since my room seemed to be without heating.

  I smiled at the irony. I was in Hell without a furnace.

  I sighed and closed my eyes, coming to terms with what waking up in the Underworld meant. It wasn’t just some crazy dream. This was really happening.

  A rustle caught my attention, and my body immediately went on alert. Too late, I realized that I hadn’t woken up of my own accord. I’d heard something, and it had torn me from whatever dreams I was having.

  A low growl issued from an especially dark corner. I held my breath, trying to get my focus on whatever was in my room. Slowly, so as not to alarm it, I reached my hand to grab my handgun.

  I wasn’t slow enough.

  Faster than I could follow, a dark blur streaked across the room. I screamed and brought my hands up to block whatever it was. I managed—just barely—to catch it before it locked its mouth around my throat.

  At first, I thought I was dealing with a bona fide zombie. If there was an Underworld, then why not have zombies? As my mind adjusted to what I was seeing, I realized that I was dealing with something totally different. My assailant, while a solid mass, was entirely encased in a film of smoke. There weren’t any sort of defined facial features, only two burning pieces of coal where eyes should be. A gaping maw kept changing shape as it snapped at my throat. It growled, a low rumbling noise that shook me to my core. And the bastard was strong. After burning my arms out at the firing range, I was having a lot of trouble trying to keep it off me.

  A Shadow Assassin. It was the only thing that made sense.

  No one had described what they looked like, but I knew deep in my gut I was dealing with one of the things that had attempted to kill Plutus. Even then, it succeeded at sticking a sword through his chest.

  What chance did I have against one all by myself?

  “Help!” I screamed. I was in a palace with tons of people, someone had to hear me. “Somebody help me!”

  My arms gave out momentarily, and that awful mouth snapped again, this time closer.

  “Someone!” I screamed. Why wasn’t anyone coming? Surely there’d been enough time for someone to hear me and come running to my aid.

  Movement from my doorway caught my eye and the overhead lights flicked on. In that split second of diverting my attention, the maw clamped down on the fleshy part between my thumb and forefinger on my right hand with a squelching noise. I screamed in pain.

  Another blur, this time a red-haired, green skinned one, moved past me and decked the Shadow Assassin, flinging it to the opposite end of the room.

  “Tisiphone?” I mumbled. I shook the sudden onset of static in my brain. There was something in that bite, something bad that was mixing with my blood. A poison, or something. It was getting hard to focus on a single thought. My vision was also going blurry.

  “Shoot it, Callie!” she was yelling. “Or are you that fucking useless?” She held her clenched fist out, holding it in a grip of psychic energy. It growled at her, struggling. And even in my delirium, I could see that she wouldn’t be able to hold it for much longer.

  I fumbled with my gun and raised it to point at the Shadow Assassin. My hands were shaking so badly that I was afraid of shooting Tisiphone.

  “Shoot it!” she yelled, as the Shadow Assassin roared and broke free.

  Strong arms embraced me from behind, and a hand clasped over my injured hand. A sense of warmth spread through me and I could see and hold my hand steady enough to fire.

  I pulled the trigger, fighting the recoil as much as my sluggish body would allow.

  The Shadow Assassin exploded in a firework of gore. I winced, hearing the bottom half of the assassin’s body thud to the floor. The entire top half was plastered to the walls and ceiling of my room. Tisiphone was covered in it and she was glaring at me as she wiped off smoking gobs of liquid flesh from her face.

  I didn’t think I’d be able to sleep in there another night.

  “She’s been bitten,” a familiar voice announced by my ear. Plutus. He held a hand over the bite, and I still felt that warm sensation between our hands.

  “What...what does that mean?” I struggled to ask. My tongue felt like it was too big in my
mouth.

  “It means you’re dying.” No sugar coating, no apologies, just the raw fact that instead of being almost dead, I was quickly heading to being fully dead and without an Afterlife. I felt sick to my stomach, and it wasn’t from the poison.

  “What the hell happened?” Hades stood in the doorway in a pair of silken pajamas you’d expect a billionaire to be wearing, flanked by Persephone and a few other faces that I didn’t recognize. I presumed they were servants.

  Plutus stiffened beside me. “Shadow Assassin,” he said simply. “They tried to kill Callista.”

  “Callie,” I grumbled drunkenly. He started lightly shaking me, and it took me a moment to realize that he was laughing at me.

  So glad that he was in a good mood.

  “Go get Asclepius,” Hades commanded with a gesture. One of the servants bowed curtly and teleported out of the room.

  “Asclepius?” I said.

  “God of the Art of Healing,” Tisiphone explained. She knelt next to me. “He’ll be able to help you.” I might have imagined it, but she looked concerned.

  Behind her, I saw Persephone glaring at me. I swallowed and looked down at Plutus’ hand clasped over mine. After her lukewarm reception of me, I guessed that she didn’t want her son being this close to me. I tried pulling away. Plutus held firm.

  “No. I’m what’s keeping you from dying at the moment, Callista.” I stilled, sitting there with wide-eyes, hearing my heartbeat in my ears, probably pumping the venom throughout my body even quicker.

  It didn’t stop Persephone from harrumphing at me and crossing her arms.

  “At least it didn’t try killing Plutus this time,” she announced. Her concern would have been more believable if I didn’t already know she was a bitch.

  “Can you speak to it?” Plutus asked his father, pointedly ignoring her.

  “Depends on how recently it died,” Hades said. “Although I doubt it would have any information.” He strode over to the mess and knelt down in the grime. “Good job restraining it, Tisiphone.”