Magic and Mayhem: A Collection of 21 Fantasy Novels

by Jasmine Walt

  “Dionysus didn't...” I stopped, nearly choking on my disbelief as I said the name. “Wait...Dion?” I gasped. “You're saying Dion is actually Dionysus?” Granted, Dion always had that gruff look about him, he was always working on beat up old cars, he had that thick Chicago accent...

  “Oh my God.” I felt even worse now. Holy shit. A thousand possibilities flew through my mind, about what that meant. My partner and one of my best friends was a god. I couldn't exactly comprehend what that meant at the moment.

  Had I been set up? Was I meant to get hit by a bus so I could be here?

  It was too overwhelming to consider.

  Tisiphone nodded somberly, taking my horror for shock. “They're being reprimanded by Zeus at the moment.”

  My stomach lurched. I had never met Tyche, and yet she helped me find Plutus so quickly. And I didn't want her to be in trouble because of us. Dion…I didn't know what to think about him. I did know that Zeus could be terribly severe in his punishments. He was a tyrant who was intent on making sure he maintained control.

  “Oh my God,” I said again, rubbing my eyes. The enormity of this revelation was too much. I was going to have to process it later. Right now...I couldn't handle it.

  “They're fine,” Tisiphone said with a wave of her hand, although her expression was a bit distracted. “The point is this: you're not getting any more help from the gods.”

  “And you're okay to give me help?” I asked.

  She grinned wickedly. “I'm okay to give you updates from down under,” she said. “Consider me your confidant here. Which, there's another thing I want to tell you.” She looked at me, her eyes boring into me. “You two have a price on your heads.”

  “A hit?” I asked. “You mean Stephen can't come after us himself?”

  “Oh, he's after you alright, and he's using some other nasty creatures, too.”

  “Shadow Assassins?” I asked weakly, feeling my blood go cold at the thought. If they were after us, we were pretty much as good as dead right now. Both times I had run into them, they had nearly fully killed me. And now that I was alive, I didn't want to take any chances.

  She gravely shook her head. “No, not Shadow Assassins. Word is on the street that Stephen is trying a new tactic. He's hiring special hitmen to take care of you. And I don't mean of the mortal variety either. Vicious monsters. Stuff you don't see every day. You'd better watch it and get to wherever you're going to. These guys are nasty.” She shuddered involuntarily.

  “How do you know about these hitmen on our tail?”

  She grinned enigmatically. “I've been around for thousands of years, Callie,” she said. “I have quite a few friends on the Surface who give me information. They're not the sorts you want to trust with your life, but they are the sorts who give out accurate information.”

  I nodded, my mouth feeling dry. “I'm driving us to—”

  She covered her ears and made a loud Annnnh noise. “I don't want to hear it in case we're being watched by someone who's on Stephen Cross' side.”

  “You really think that?” I asked, incredulous. “That someone's watching us?”

  “I don't want to risk it.”

  “Yet it's all right to warn us about a hitman on our tail?”

  She laughed bitterly, her entire easy demeanor gone. “I didn't tell you anything they don't already know, Callie. Yes, it is dangerous. What I am going to do, though, is wish you luck.” She wrapped her arms around me unexpectedly, not exactly touching, since we weren't able to, but I felt the hug nonetheless.

  “Best of luck, Callie,” she said. I felt something heavy at my back get tucked into the top of my jeans, which was quickly covered up by my shirt. She held me at arm's length. “Don't get too comfortable wherever you go, promise me. Trust no one. Including me.” And then she laughed in spite of herself. “Just kidding on that last part.”

  “You had me going there,” I answered with a grin. This whole thing was happening too fast.

  “Tell old grumpy that I say hi. And take care of yourself, Callie. Unlike the rest of us, you're not a superhuman. Don't pretend you are.”

  Thanks for reminding me. “I won't.”

  The next heartbeat, I opened my eyes and immediately grimaced at the pressure of a cold metal cylinder on my back. I writhed on the bed, away from it, and looked around to see my God Gun gleaming up at me. Tisiphone must have given it to me while I was dreaming in the Underworld. And I somehow brought it back with me when I woke up.

  “Are you awake over there?” Plutus' voice rang out from between the two dirty armchairs they had stocked in the motel.

  I squinted in the darkness. “What time is it?” I asked.

  “Like I would know,” he grunted. “It's been at least several hours since you laid down.”

  Plutus' sardonic remark was enough for me to laugh out loud. “You didn't have to sleep on the floor, you know.”

  He didn't answer me as I rolled onto my side to look at the digital alarm clock. It was 9:34pm. I turned on the light by the bed, casting the room in a sickly yellow light. The place was so disgusting, I immediately regretted bathing it in light. Since I had had a bit of rest, I cared a bit more about where I was sleeping.

  “Ugh.”

  Plutus smiled over in my direction. “Be glad you aren't dependent on your sense of smell,” he said. He wrinkled his nose. “Or hearing. We've had a few overly enthusiastic neighbors while you were asleep.”

  At that moment a loud manly groan and a louder female moan issued from the other side of the wall, followed by some loud thuds against the wall. At least someone was having a good time. I swallowed, trying hard not to imagine Plutus and I in that situation.

  It's never going to happen Callie, so drop it.

  “Shall we order pizza?” I asked weakly, offering up the least sexual food I could think of. Alone in a hotel room with Plutus, I definitely was going to need to take a cold shower too.

  “That sounds good,” he said.

  I flipped through the phone book and dialed a local delivery place. I ordered a large pepperoni, some garlic bread, and a three-liter bottle of Coke. The thought of big, greasy slices of pizza set my mouth to watering. I’d have to be conservative with them money Dion had given us but I needed a large dose of calories and a jolt of caffeine.

  I dug a twenty and a ten from my purse and placed it on top of the television. “Here’s the money for the pizza,” I told Plutus.

  I to tell Plutus about my talk with Tisiphone, , but another female voice joined the ruckus our neighbors were making on the other side of the wall.

  “I’ve got to go shower,” I said, slipping out of the bed and running to the bathroom to escape the sound.

  All I could think about was my memory of Plutus' naked body in the hospital and how long it had been since I'd been with someone. Even when Ben and I were still together, we had gone the two months before we split up without having sex. My body craved someone. I kept telling myself that my attraction to Plutus was just that: longing for something to make me feel human again. It wasn't his handsome face or his boyish smile or him trying to protect me while I was trying to protect him. It was only my body wanting that.

  I turned the water to extra cold, and it had a cathartic effect on me. I hadn't realized how grimy I felt until I started showering. It felt glorious, even though my teeth were chattering.

  ...his lips on my skin, making me gasp with anticipation and need as I arched into his arms...

  My hand on the wall turned into a fist and I clenched my teeth, tearing that thought away from my mind. No, I told myself firmly. It's not going to happen. He's a god. You're a mortal. God. Mortal. God. Mortal...

  But making love to a god…

  “Callista?” Plutus' voice rang out in the bathroom, followed by a knock.

  I nearly slipped in the tub in surprise. “Ye-yes?” It was stupid though, being embarrassed if he was in the bathroom—he couldn't see me, after all.

  “Pizza's here.”

&
nbsp; “Okay,” I called out. Had I really spent that long in the shower? “No problems with the pizza delivery guy or anything?”

  He chuckled. “Not that I know of. I might've given him a big tip though. I don't know which notes I handed to him.”

  “That's fine, I'll be right out,” I said. I nearly stumbled out of the shower, quickly toweled myself off, and got dressed. When I got out of the bathroom, he was already helping himself to a slice. The TV was on, showing a local news channel with the anchorwoman spouting off that day's news

  “It's quite a bit different than I thought,” Plutus admitted. “The pizza.”

  “Yeah,” I muttered, scarfing it down. “It's not the best, but it fills the void.” The Coke called out to me and I poured myself a glass.

  “I think it's pretty good.”

  “We're headed to New York,” I said with a laugh. “I'll show you some proper pizza when we get there.” I remembered when I was younger and going to New York with my dad. We had some New York style pizza that would have made what we were eating now cower in shame. After growing up Chicago, Dion hated New York style pizza.

  Speaking of...

  “Hey,” I said, “Did you know that Dion was Dionysus?”

  Plutus considered this with his head cocked. He smirked and shook his head. “I thought he sounded familiar.” He was grinning. “So that's what happened to cousin Di, that scoundrel,” he said with a bitter chuckle. “I haven't seen him in quite a few years. I thought the nymphs had thrown him out for a few years and he was too ashamed to come home.”

  “Tisiphone told me that he's Dionysus. I...never knew. After so many years working with him, I never knew.”

  The silence between us passed for a few moments, and I could hear my heartbeat in my ears.

  “Don't,” he said quietly. “Don't think that Dionysus was a part of Dad's master plan. Even though he's a bit of a drunk, Dionysus is very loyal. He wouldn't set you up like that. Hell, all of this only started happening about six months ago. There are things in the future that even the big gods don't know about. Don't think that you were pegged.”

  I finally opened my mouth to say something, the tears stinging my eyes, when what the anchorwoman on the TV said broke through my thoughts.

  “...story, Billionaire Stephen Cross has been hospitalized after a horrific attack in his San Francisco home,” the anchorwoman announced. “Police are now on the hunt for his attackers, a police detective from the SFPD named Callista Saunders and her as yet unidentified male companion.” My police ID picture, which wasn’t one of my better photographs, was displayed on the screen, along with a police sketch of Plutus, which eerily looked too much like him. Of course Stephen would give an accurate description of Plutus. How did no one else see the likeness between the two brothers? How come I before I was told about it?

  “It is not yet known why or how Detective Saunders was able to get into Mr. Cross' home, but officials believe she experienced a psychotic episode after a coma that has had her hospitalized for three months. Inside sources say that Detective Saunders earlier displayed stalker-like tendencies towards Stephen Cross...”

  “...because he's a fucking liar!” I yelled at the screen, feeling the heat rise in my cheeks.

  “...is suspected to be traveling with a male, aged thirty, blind, and with a limp.” From the corner of my eye, I saw Plutus pale perceptibly. “Authorities don't yet know how her male companion is involved. Please report any information you may have about their whereabouts to the police. They are considered armed and dangerous, so if you do see them, proceed with extreme caution.” The anchorwoman nodded smugly, and I hated her guts.

  “So he's setting the entire world against us,” Plutus commented. He seemed amused.

  “Well, I hope the office manager didn't recognize me,” I groaned, turning off the TV. I combed my fingers through my hair, so angry I didn't know what to do with my hands.

  “It's not too late to turn back,” he said slowly. “You could go, say that I forced you into it and—”

  “Stop playing the martyr, Plutus,” I said bitingly, still very angry at the TV. “I'm not going anywhere, so shut it.” I felt flustered, unable to contain my anger and fear that we were going to get caught. Was this it? Was this what Tisiphone meant? No, she said some particular nasties were after us. And that they wouldn't be humans.

  I closed my eyes and leaned forward in my chair. “I'm so worried that we're going to get caught.”

  Plutus found my knee and give it a quick squeeze. “If you refuse to do the smart thing,” he said calmly, “we find Tiresias, we see what he says, and we go from there.”

  “What if it doesn't work?” I asked. “What if Tiresias doesn't know what to do?”

  “What do you think?” he asked gently.

  I looked at the dark TV. “I need to sleep again.” Everything will be better in the morning. “This time, you take the bed.”

  “I'm fine on the floor,” he said. “Besides, you're the one with the long drive tomorrow.”

  Something inside me said that he would continue to argue and waste time when I could have been sleeping. “Fine,” I said, not wanting to draw it out. I already felt exhausted thinking about it.

  Drive. And don't get pulled over. Tomorrow would be a new, different day.

  Until then I was going to sleep.

  “Good night, Plutus,” I called out to the darkness, a part of me wishing he'd come join me in the bed.

  There was a pause. “Good night, Callista,” he said.

  Thankfully, I didn't dream of the Underworld this time. Just blissful, easy, dreamless sleep.

  Which was exactly what I needed at that moment.

  18

  I woke up before sunrise, which meant that I must’ve slept about fifteen hours the day before. I felt like a new woman. I was a bit groggy. However, compared to how I felt yesterday, it was definitely a welcome improvement.

  I took another shower, not because I needed it, but because I was delaying the inevitably long drive. Part of me wanted to get on the road while another part of me wanted to curl up, fall back asleep and pretend that none of this had ever happened.

  If I drove for sixteen hours or so, we would be in Oklahoma City. And then tomorrow, it would be a fourteen-hour drive to Columbus, Ohio. And then (finally), we would get to New York. Forty-six hours of driving in total, if we didn't run into any trouble.

  If the cops didn’t pull me over and throw me in jail for identity theft.

  My body felt numb at the thought.

  It was nearly seven when I got out of the bathroom. Plutus was ready, our small bag packed. He whipped his head up at the sound I made when I closed the door. I was struck by how tired he looked.

  “Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you.”

  “You didn't wake me,” he replied. “I couldn't sleep very well anyway. Being mortal kind of does that to you.”

  “I guess you could say that you're aware of your own mortality,” I said wryly.

  There was a long silence between us. I hadn't meant for that to be a conversation stopper. Finally, he broke it. “I'm highly aware of yours,” he said.

  “I'm fine,” I answered. I shrugged on my brand new, bargain bin hoodie from Wal-Mart, picked up the room key, and slung the bag across my shoulder. “Let's get going,” I said, anxious to get on the road.

  I helped him out of our room and helped him into the car. “I’ll be back as soon as I drop off the key.” I reached across him and buckled his seatbelt. “Need anything else?”

  “Stop doing everything for me, Callista,” he ordered, unhappy at the situation.

  “I have to check us out,” I explained. “And I don't want too many people seeing the two of us together. The fewer people who see us together, the less of a chance we have of being spotted.”

  He looked unhappy about it. I turned on my heel and went into the office. It was true, I was absolutely terrified that someone would recognize us. This whole thing would be stopped so quickly if t
he attendant at the office called the cops on us.

  I needed to dye my hair or change my appearance in some way. A mental image of Plutus and me in Groucho Marx glasses entered my mind and I fought the urge to laugh hysterically at it. I was losing my nerve. I did tuck the idea that I needed to dye my hair away in my mind. When we stopped in Oklahoma City, I'd find some dye.

  God, I felt like such a criminal.

  I walked into the office. Luckily, the middle-aged man behind the counter wasn't interested in doing his job so he barely even acknowledged me setting the keys down on the desk and waved me out of there.

  I passed by a stack of that day's newspapers, which were free to take. I picked one up, and sure enough, Plutus' sketch and the photo from my police department ID were on the front page. Ugh.

  “Thanks,” I muttered. I took the newspaper with me as I opened the door with a jingle and got in the car.

  “I'm going blond,” I declared. “We should decide what to do with you too.”

  “What do you mean?” he asked.

  I plopped the newspaper in his lap to illustrate my point, even if he couldn't see it. “We're in the newspaper. Everyone is going to be looking for us. We need to change our appearances.”

  “They don't care,” Plutus muttered, moving the newspaper aside.

  I snorted as I turned on the car. “I'm sure they don't, but we can't afford to take the risk.”

  I reversed out of the parking spot and drove away, trying not to think about all the miles in front of us.

  I stopped only when the car needed gas or we had to go to the bathroom. I picked up food through drive thrus. It made me feel better to be close to the car in case we needed to hightail it out of there.

  Plutus and I made small talk, although it felt strained the entire way. There were too many unspoken words and too many nameless fears that we didn't talk about.

  He told me some stories about his childhood, from millennia past. He could tell me what happened in some of the biggest events of the past two thousand years, how he had impacted those events, and he told me about how awful some of the things were. I listened to him, and I realized just how much he had been able to witness in his lifetime.