Barbarian's Heart: A SciFi Alien Romance (Ice Planet Barbarians Book 10)

by Ruby Dixon

  The creature clutches at its side, and for a moment I think it’s wounded. But then the fur wiggles and moves —

  —And I realize this starving creature has a baby. It’s a she and it’s a mom, like me. I’m suddenly flooded with sympathy. The metlak is clearly scared of the fire, and probably scared of me, too, but she’s desperate to eat. I’m guessing her milk is close to running dry if she’s starving, and it’s fear for her baby that’s making her be so bold as to come into an occupied cave after food.

  “Here,” I say softly. I offer her the bulbous root and make the miming gesture for eating again. “Eat.”

  She snatches it from me and begins to sniff it. The furry bundle on her chest makes a peeping noise, not unlike a baby chick. With another wary look at me, she takes a bite directly out of the not-potato. Her eyes widen, and she begins to devour it with frantic, enormous bites.

  And I notice for the first time that despite the fact that she’s a vegetarian, she’s got some impressive fangs…

  PASHOV

  Maybe we will spend the brutal season alone, Stay-see and I.

  I muse this as I head back to our cave, a freshly slain dvisti slung over one shoulder. One of the many herds happened to be passing through the nearby valley, and so I followed the trails over and picked off a shaggy elder. There are many kits with the herd, and I watch them run past as the herd races away, frightened.

  I do not think I can kill the young anymore. Not with my own son so helpless and small.

  But now I have even more meat and a new hide for Stay-see to fuss over. We will have much smoked meat, and the cache is still half-full. If the weather holds for a few more hands of days like Rokan said, that will give me plenty of time to fill the cache and to dig up several of the not-potato that Stay-see makes delicious things out of. With only two mouths to feed, it would be no problem for Stay-see and me to ride out the brutal season alone, even if the snows last longer than usual.

  And it will give us more time to bond.

  I know my chief wants us to return sooner, but I worry it will not be enough time. I do not have my memories back yet. The ones that return are fleeting and disappear as quickly as they flicker through my mind, leaving me only with the knowledge that I did remember something. Each time it happens, it fills me with a sense of loss and frustration, like I am failing both myself and my mate.

  She worries, too, I think. There are questions in Stay-see’s eyes when she looks at me. She has concerns, and I think they are not just over my health. She has not yet invited me to sleep in her furs again. I am trying to be patient, but it is difficult.

  I think of Rukh, the newcomer, and his mate Har-loh. Out of all of the tribe, they seem the most tightly bonded. He hovers over her obsessively, and she seems to need him as much. Harrec told me they spent the last brutal season in a cave down by the great salt lake. It makes sense that they are so close. After moons and moons of time alone together, of course they are intertwined like roots.

  I am jealous, though. Did I have that with Stay-see before? I want it back. And if it takes spending the brutal season alone with her, I am willing to do so. It will be lonely without my family and tribe nearby, but I crave closeness with my mate more than I crave my mother’s herbal teas or the company of other hunters.

  I have not told Stay-see of my plans yet. She will not like them, I suspect. She will want to return to the tribe for fear that I am still too injured to hunt. I feel fine, though. I am fit and capable. There is nothing wrong with my body, and I can only hope my memories will return in time. Until then, I must be patient.

  The only problem with this plan that I can see is that my chief will not be happy. Vektal said he would send a hunter out to bring us back if we did not show up at the scheduled time. I can talk a hunter into seeing the reason behind my decision, though. He will have to go back empty-handed, and by the time that happens, the brutal season will be upon us and the weather will be too bad for others to venture after us.

  Stay-see will be mine and mine alone throughout the cold months. I like that thought. I can hold her in my arms by the fire, and she can tell me of more memories until my mind is so full that I cannot help but be the male I once was.

  Even though I am occupied by these thoughts, I am so attuned to my mate that when I hear her voice drift outside of the cave, I stiffen.

  “Are you done eating?” I hear her murmur. “Leaving soon, I hope?”

  A bolt of jealous anger surges through me. Is one of the hunters here? Did Vektal lie to me and send someone after us sooner than he said? Is it Harrec? Is he flirting with my mate even now?

  I’m so occupied by this that I don’t notice the smell emanating from the cave. I fling the dvisti down on the ground outside the cave and stalk inside. It barely registers in my mind that the privacy screen is pushed aside until I enter.

  And then I see the creature.

  It crouches near Stay-see, my mate strategically blocking the entrance to the next chamber of the cave with her body. The cave is a mess, baskets of food strewn about, and as I watch, the metlak shoves a mouthful of not-potato into its maw. Crumbs and filth litter the thing’s coat, and it turns to look at me, hissing its anger as I enter.

  All I can see is that it is too close to my mate. My precious, fragile mate.

  I growl at the sight. I am both shocked and full of fear that a metlak would dare to enter my cave and approach my mate. It is bigger than Stay-see, for all that it is thin with hunger. The look in its eyes is dangerous, and I pull out my knife.

  “No,” Stay-see calls to me, raising her hands. “Don’t! Pashov, it has a baby.”

  The metlak hoots angrily, slapping Stay-see’s arms aside. I surge forward at that, determined to protect my mate. I will kill it for touching her.

  It scrambles over her, a sharp cry of surprise escaping Stay-see as the thing climbs over her lap and then scurries past me and the fire, rushing out the door of the cave. The smell of singed fur chokes the cave, and I realize it must have burned itself as it ran.

  I turn and chase after it, just long enough to make sure it does not come back. My heart is pounding in my breast, and all I can see in my mind is the creature hissing at Stay-see. Clawing at Stay-see.

  My mate was in danger and I was not here.

  What if I had stayed out longer? The image of the metlak striking Stay-see goes through my mind again, and my body goes cold with fear. What if it had harmed her? Or my son?

  The creature races through the snow frantically, darting away from the cave. I watch it go, my knife held in my sweaty hand. I want to chase it down and ensure it does not return…but I do not want to leave Stay-see unprotected again.

  I turn and head back to the cave, my stomach churning with unease.

  Inside, I do not see my mate, just the destruction of the cave. Baskets are torn apart, their contents spilled. They will have to be discarded, the meat thrown away because metlak are filthy creatures. It is a waste, but I do not care. All I care about is my mate.

  I enter the second chamber of the cave, and Stay-see is there, clutching Pacy tightly to her chest. My son hiccups and begins to cry, and Stay-see’s cheeks are wet with tears, her eyes closed.

  “My mate,” I say, voice hoarse as I stalk toward her.

  “I’m okay,” she chokes out. “Really. I just need a moment to recover.” Her fingers smooth over the kit’s mane, and I see her hand is trembling.

  I wrap my arms around her, the kit squeezed between us. “It did not hurt you?”

  “Just a few scratches,” Stay-see tells me, shaky. “Nothing big. I think it was just hungry. It had a baby, Pashov.” She hugs Pacy to her, even tighter. “Oh god. I kept feeling sorry for it, and yet I was terrified it would see Pacy in his basket and hurt him.”

  I smooth a hand down her hair. “I am here. You are safe.”

  She nods jerkily, pressing another kiss to Pacy’s cheek as he wails in her ear. “We’re lucky,” she says after a moment. “Lucky all it wanted was fo
od.”

  I continue to stroke her hair, though I feel helpless and frustrated. “They fear fire. I do not understand why this one approached—”

  “She had a baby,” Stay-see says with a shake of her head. “She was scared of the fire, but she still came inside looking for something to eat. Maybe her tribe or her mate didn’t survive the earthquake? She was starving.” She focuses on me, eyes wide. “You don’t think it’ll be back, do you?”

  I want to reassure her, but the truth is, I do not know if it will be back. If a metlak is brave enough to storm inside a cave with both fire and sa-khui scent, I cannot predict if it will stay away. Metlak are cowardly creatures for all their viciousness, and usually the sight of fire or the scent of a hunter will keep them at bay. They rarely disturb hunter caves.

  But this one was hungry enough to confront my mate. I hold her close against me again, feeling her soft, trembling warmth.

  So fragile. Her and my son both.

  “I will make a big fire tonight,” I tell her. “And we leave in the morning to rejoin the tribe.”

  Stay-see does not protest this. She nods and kisses Pacy’s cheek again.

  I cannot endanger my family. We cannot stay here alone through the brutal season, after all. I will need to hunt, and after today, I will live in fear of the thought of more metlak returning. What if that one has gone to get its tribe and they will return tonight to steal more of our food?

  I wish I had killed it. Mother or not, it has put my family in danger. This place is not safe, after all. We will rejoin the tribe because it will be safe for Stay-see and Pacy there.

  I will simply have to woo my mate while we are with the tribe. I want the closeness with her that we once had…but not at the risk of her life, or that of my son.

  Their safety comes first. I press my mouth to Stay-see’s hair and try to calm her trembling. “Tomorrow morning,” I promise her. “We will repack the sled and leave at dawn.”

  “What about tonight?”

  “I will not sleep tonight,” I vow grimly. “I will watch the fire.”

  10

  STACY

  Five days later

  “Are we there yet?” I tease from my spot on the sled.

  “We are close.” Pashov’s voice floats back to me. He glances over his shoulder, casting a smile in my direction. “Not too much farther.”

  I can’t say I’m sorry to hear that. While we haven’t had any issues with traveling, I’m more than ready to be done and settle in to our new home. It’s been a long week, and my face still feels windburnt and frozen, no matter how much cream I put on it. I’m cold, tired, hungry, and physically exhausted to my bones. I feel like I could sleep for a week…except that wouldn’t be fair to Pashov, who is probably just as tired and is doing all the work.

  My mate is tireless. Over ridge and valley, through waist-high snow or rocky plateaus, he moves forward with sure feet and endless, bountiful strength. I’m both incredibly grateful for his stamina and a little worried at how vulnerable Pacy and I are. If anything should happen to him, we’re screwed. It’s just another reason why I’m so glad we’re heading back to rejoin the tribe. There’s safety in numbers, and as much as I enjoyed our time at the little cave, I’m ready to rejoin the tribe.

  I just don’t know if Pashov agrees.

  He’s been distant while we’ve traveled. Not in an unpleasant way, but it’s clear he’s holding me at arm’s length. At night, we huddle together for warmth, but it never goes beyond him stroking my hair.

  Which, okay, I’m a little too tired to get wild with him, but at the same time, I wouldn’t turn it down. I’m hungry for the closeness we used to have, but it’s pretty apparent to me that I’m the only one. But I can’t blame him. He pulls the sled all day long, and I’m not sure that he’s sleeping at night. He’s obsessed with keeping the fire built high, if nothing else to protect us from wandering metlak.

  I worry that he’s going to collapse out of exhaustion, but he seems to be handling things well. Maybe it’s just me who’s tired and my head’s spinny with worry. Pacy’s fussy, too, but I can’t blame him. After a week of sitting around, he wants to stretch his legs. He’s been good so far, but he’s ready to play and get free from my arms.

  And after a week of holding him? I’m ready for him to be free from my arms, too. Maybe when we reunite with the tribe, Kemli can watch Pacy for a night or two, and that will give Pashov and me some time together. We’d have to work out feeding times, but it’s doable, and I could a steal a few hours alone with Pashov after we relax and recover a bit. I like the thought of that.

  Of course, we have to get there first. I gaze around the wide open canyon we’re traveling through. The rocky walls are high but distant. There’s snow on the ground, but it’s not as thick as it has been in other areas. In the distance, there are copses of the thin pink trees, and overhead I see a few scythe-beaks flying past, cawing at each other. At the far end of the valley there’s a large dark mass moving along the snow. Dvisti. This area has a little bit of everything. Too bad we can’t stay here.

  “You’re sure that we’re close?” I ask Pashov. I don’t see any signs of the tribe. Surely we’d see signs of them if we were close, wouldn’t we?

  “There was a mark on one of the trees at the entrance to the valley,” he tells me. “It was made by a knife. We are close.”

  “Mmm.” I’m ready to be done, but I don’t say that out loud. I don’t want to seem like I’m griping when he’s the one doing all the heavy work. I shift on the sled. “How are you holding up, Pashov? Do you need to rest?”

  “No resting here,” he tells me. “This is metlak territory. Best to keep moving until we find the tribe. We are close, I promise.”

  I’m not sure if he’s trying to convince me or himself. Still, if this is metlak territory, it’s wise to keep going. I pull the blankets close around my body and hug Pacy tight. It’s been days, but I still keep thinking about the metlak mother that invaded the cave. Did she survive? Did she come back? Or did she and her baby starve to death? I suppose I won’t ever know, but it makes me hold my own child a little tighter. I wish I could have done more for her, even though I was terrified of her. Maybe we should have stayed to try and help her out.

  Then again, what if she had come back with her entire tribe? They would have killed us without a flash of remorse, and stolen our food. If I have to choose between feeding them and feeding Pacy and Pashov, I’m going to choose my men, of course.

  The sled stops, interrupting my endless worrying thoughts. I immediately tense. “What is it?”

  “I see it,” he says in a low voice, and he sounds awed.

  I crane my neck, because I don’t see anything at all. Just snow and more snow. No cluster of houses, which is what I was led to expect. “Where?”

  Pashov points ahead, and I squint, wondering if I’m missing something. Then I see it a moment later. It’s a gaping dark line next to one of the cliffs. I thought it was a shadow, but I realize a moment later that the sun is facing in the wrong direction for there to be a shadow there. It’s a gorge…in the ground.

  Maddie had said that, hadn’t she? I guess I’d conveniently forgotten that we’re going to be living in a valley…in another valley. I shiver at the thought, holding Pacy tighter. “In the hole?”

  “Is it a hole?” Pashov chuckles. “I guess it is.” The look he casts in my direction is boyish with excitement. “Let us go see it, yes?”

  Like we have a choice. I smile, though I’m not sure I’m excited about this. That ‘hole’ looks ominous. And deep. And it’s triggering my fear of heights like crazy. But it’s not like there’s anywhere else to go, is there?

  It’ll be fine, Stace. Pashov is here.

  I take a deep breath and keep smiling until I relax a little. It can’t be as bad as it looks.

  Pashov begins to pull the sled again, his steps quicker, as if the sight of our destination has rejuvenated him. I settle back in my seat, tucking the blankets ba
ck around Pacy. It’s grown colder every day, even though the weather is clear, and that means we don’t have much longer until the brutal season rains down endless tons of snow on us. It’s good that we’re arriving now, because I don’t have the same trust in Rokan’s weather-sense that the others do. I’m worried about getting caught in a blizzard. If it’s this nasty when the weather’s ‘nice,’ it’s going to be truly awful when it turns. Before, it wasn’t so bad because we were tucked away in a safe, warm cave with a heated pool and enough room for everyone. This time…I shudder, looking at that dark shadow ahead.

  This time, the brutal season’s going to be very, very different.

  “Someone is coming,” Pashov calls out.

  I look ahead, trying to see around his big shoulders. It takes me a moment to focus in on the small, dark blue object that seems to emerge from the ground. It’s startling to see, and even more startling when I realize just how tiny that blue blob is compared to the gorge.

  It’s…huge.

  My stomach gives a queasy little flip.

  “Harrec,” my mate says in a curiously flat voice. “Of course.”

  We’re still a fair distance away, and I can barely squint to make out features. Maybe it’s Harrec, maybe not. Pashov’s vision is better than mine if he can tell at this distance. “You think he heard us coming?”

  “No. It is probably just luck.” He doesn’t sound pleased, either. A moment later, a second figure emerges, and Pashov adds, “Bek, too. They are probably leaving to hunt.” He raises a hand in the air. “Ho!”

  I wince as my mate’s loud voice booms over the valley. Pacy gives a startled cry and begins to whine, and I hug him close, tucking him under my tunic in case he wants to comfort-nurse.

  “Ho!” One of the distant figures calls back, raising a tiny hand in the air.

  A few minutes later, Bek and Harrec both jog up to our sled. Harrec’s grinning broadly, but Bek is as solemn as ever. He rarely smiles, and today doesn’t seem like it’s going to be one of those days, even though he gives Pashov a friendly clap on the shoulder. “It is good to see you again, my friend.”