Colby's Child

by Patricia Watters

  “Come meet the rest of our guests,” he said, then moved to the foot of the stairs.

  Jenny pressed her lips into a smile and said, while descending the stairs, “Welcome to our home. We’re happy you made the trip safely.” When she reached the bottom step, Jason took her elbow, but she jerked her arm away, saying in a clipped, dry tone, “I’ll take Lily now.”

  Jason pinned her with a dark look, handed Lily to her and stormed out of the room.

  Jenny caught the knowing glances passing between the women and realized her folly. Feigning a smile, she said, “Please excuse my husband. He’s under a lot of strain.”

  Jason didn’t return to the house that night. When Jenny intercepted him in the hallway the following evening, she said, “Because of the nature of our marriage it's not my place to ask where you spent the night, but the least you could have done was join us for dinner. It was humiliating sitting alone with eleven strangers—women you invited—with no explanation as to where my husband was.”

  Jason's eyes narrowed. “I wasn’t sure I was welcome at my own table.”

  “You would have been, at least by eleven women," Jenny said, with irony. "They seem completely taken by you.” She planted her mouth in a tight, flat line.

  “They were more taken by what they saw. A man with a wife in name only." He went into his bedroom and shut the door.

  During the next few days, Jason left the house before breakfast and returned shortly before dinner. He sat at the opposite end of the table from Jenny, with the brides on either side. Because the table was fully extended to accommodate all of the brides, he and Jenny didn’t speak to each other while they ate, and what conversation did pass between them was stilted and perfunctory. They smiled cordially at each other, but never touched.

  It was becoming evident to all that something was amiss.

  Which was confirmed when Jenny overheard the women talking in hushed tones...

  And he never touches her... But why should he, she’s as cold as ice... And did you see how she reacted when he tried to take her arm that first day? What a stupid fool of a woman... With a man like him in my bed I’d never leave... She made a baby with him so she must have let him bed her at least once...

  Mortified, Jenny went to her bedroom unnoticed and shut the door, the women's words replaying in her head. Clearly, something had to be done. But could she go to Jason and tell him what she’d heard, ask him to play the role of husband more actively, assure him that she’d play her part as well? Pride fought against doing it. But pride also compelled her to go to him.

  Seeing light under the door between their bedrooms, she knew he was awake. Wrapping her shawl around her shoulders, she raised her hand and tapped on the door, then tipped her head toward it and listened for Jason’s response. Hearing nothing, she tapped a second time, and he said in a low, husky voice, “Come in, Jenny.”

  She opened the door and found him sitting in bed, stripped to the waist. Her eyes scanned his muscular chest. For a brash moment she was tempted to crawl into his bed and be a wife to him. Better reason reminded her exactly why she was his wife, and it wasn’t to lust after a husband who had no desire to be one to her. Trying to focus on her reason for being there, she nervously toyed with her shawl and said, “I overheard the women talking, saying that we’re not... that I’m not... satisfying you like a wife should, or else you would be more affectionate towards me. I think we need to at least put on a show of fondness... small gestures... a little touching.”

  Jason fixed her with a steely gaze. “I tried that once. It didn’t work.”

  “Yes, well, I should not have done what I did. I don’t know what got into me.”

  Jason's eyes darkened. “These women have come to find husbands, and it would make my life a hell of a lot less complicated if they believed I was happily married to my wife.”

  “I know,” Jenny conceded. “And I’ll try to make it seem that way.”

  Her eyes met the smoldering depths of his and a long tense moment passed between them. “Fine… you do that...” his words drifted off as his gaze slowly moved down the length of her, though Jenny didn’t think he was aware of doing so, or how intense his eyes were as they passed over her. But he left her feeling as is fingers had touched her everywhere, leaving her body burning with need. She licked her lips, wishing he would throw open his arms to her so she could crawl into them and curl up against him and let him love her. Instead, she drew the shawl tighter around herself, and said, “Then, I’ll see you at dinner tomorrow?”

  “Yes, I suppose so."

  When she made no move to leave, he said, “Is there something else?”

  Jenny nibbled her bottom lip for a moment, then replied, “Well, yes. That is... You can see Lily whenever you want. She’s been fretful these past few nights and I know she misses you.”

  “I miss her too," Jason said. "This whole arrangement has been hell."

  “Yes, well, I’ll try to make it better." Jenny gave him a token smile and left.

  ***

  When Jenny went to dinner the next night Jason wasn’t there. The thought of facing the women without his presence, after having heard their comments the night before, added to her humiliation. She put Lily in the cradle Jason bought when they were in Central City, then smiled at the women and took her place at the table. Jason’s absence was underscored by the knowing glances that passed between the women and darted between Jenny and Jason’s empty chair.

  Jenny was in the process of pushing her food around her plate when Jason strolled into the room. All eyes focused on him as he walked up behind her, placed his hands on her shoulders and kissed the side of her neck. “Sorry I’m late, sweetheart,” he said, smiling at her. “I had some business to attend to.” He brushed the back of his fingers along her cheek and went to take his place at the head of the table.

  Jenny sat in stunned silence, too flabbergasted to do anything but stare at the man at the far end of the table, while the kiss he’d planted on her neck burned into her flesh like a hot iron. Trying to cover her shock, she turned to the woman sitting to her right and said, “I hope you slept well.”

  The woman blinked several times and replied, “I’m sorry... you said?”

  “I hope you slept well.”

  “Oh, yes... ” The woman smiled politely, and added, “Thank you for opening your home to us. It mustn’t be easy having a house full of women, with a new baby and all.”

  “Yes, Lily’s a Godsend,” Jenny said. “But she also keeps us up at night.” She looked down the length of the table at Jason, who tipped his coffee cup toward her in a silent toast. His slow smile that followed took Jenny completely off guard, and she had to fight the urge to rush over to him, throw her arms around his neck and kiss him senseless until she had no breath left…

  “Mrs. Colby? Are you alright?”

  The words seemed to come from far away. Jenny blinked several times and turned to the young woman, who appeared to have asked her a question. Collecting her disjointed thoughts, she said, “Uh… yes, I’m fine. Maybe a little tired. Mr. Colby and I are slowly adjusting, like all new parents have to do.”

  “You’re a lucky woman. Most new fathers don’t know what to do with an infant.” The young woman looked at Jason, and the admiration Jenny saw on her face made Jenny just a little bit proud. And when Jason smiled at Jenny again, she couldn’t help but smile back. The warmth in his eyes almost melted her heart. It also chiseled a chunk out of the wall she had been trying to maintain between them, a wall that was beginning to teeter.

  “My name is Sarah. Sarah Jensen,” the young woman said. “We’d heard there was nothing in Colby but saloons and dance halls, but we never expected to find butchers and grocers, and drugstores, and a mercantile, and even a fine new church. We’re anxious to look around. We hear there’ll soon be a haberdashery, two dry goods stores, a candy shop, and another theater.”

  Jenny was aware that several new businesses had opened, but she’d not been curious en
ough to visit them. To her, Colby would never be more than a stopover for miners, rowdies and fortune hunters coming to rape the land, gamble away their money and mingle with dance hall girls. What these eager young husband-hunters saw that could hold them to this place, she couldn’t fathom. But Sarah Jensen was clearly taken by it.

  Sarah took a bite of pork, chewed thoughtfully, and said, “When I saw Mr. Colby’s notice about wanting brides, I never expected to be among them. Then I learned he’d give each couple a new house, so it seemed worth considering.”

  Jenny looked at Sarah, surprised. It was the first she’d heard that Jason intended to furnish houses for the young folks, and it put a new light on him. “Mr. Colby is very caring in that way,” she said to Sarah. “I am a lucky woman." Her words were meant to underpin their make-believe marriage, but a tiny seed of pride in her husband began to sprout inside her.

  After a few moments, Sarah’s face became thoughtful, and she said, “Does Mr. Colby happen to have an unmarried brother?”

  Jenny pictured Seth sprawled in the dirt, chin trickling with blood from the punch Mr. Colby gave him because of an offensive remark. “Well... yes.”

  “Is he as handsome as Mr. Colby?” Sarah asked.

  Jenny looked at her husband and wondered if there was any man alive as handsome as he. Certainly none she’d met in her lifetime. “I’m sure you’d find Seth attractive.”

  Sarah’s eyes brightened. “How would I go about meeting him?”

  Jenny saw the zeal on the young woman's face and wondered how it would be to feel that way, to be so eager and impatient to be bound to another human being for life. But clearly, for Sarah Jensen, that was the case. “I’ll talk to Mr. Colby about arranging for you to meet his brother, Seth.”

  "Oh, goodness," Sarah said. "If he's anything like Mr. Colby I'll probably be too nervous to utter a coherent sentence."

  Jenny patted her hand, and said, "I'm sure you'll do fine."

  After dinner, when Jason put his arm around Jenny's shoulders and kissed her on the cheek, Jenny wasn’t sure how to respond. A part of her wanted to keep him at arm’s length, but another part wanted to pretend it was not an act, that Jason was her loving husband and Lily’s doting father. How easily he’d slipped into the role of family man. And how wrong he’d been when he’d said, men like me don’t make good husbands and fathers. She had no idea why he’d made that claim, but she was caring less about knowing the reason. Reflecting on her vow to respond to his displays of affection, she tilted her head until it rested against his shoulder. When he tightened his arm around her, she could barely breathe. She patted her chest, though she hadn’t realized she’d done so until he looked at her, and said, “You alright?”

  She closed her eyes and took in a long deep breath to steady the erratic beating of her heart and allow her lungs to fill with air. Lordy, lordy. If this kept up, she'd need smelling salts every time the man touched her. “I’m fine,” she said, when she could speak.

  Brows gathered in worry, Jason said, “You look flushed.”

  Jenny fanned her face. “It’s warm in here.”

  “It’s not really,” Jason said, his voice concerned. “You’d better take an early night, sweetheart. I’ll bring Lily up when she starts fussing to be fed.”

  Jenny felt a nagging uneasiness about leaving Jason alone with eleven eager young women. But the tension she’d felt of late had all but vanished, and she didn’t want to upset the fragile balance between them. She also liked the warm cushy feeling his husbandly endearment and misconstrued concern brought, even knowing he was playing a part. “Yes, I suppose I should,” she said, a bit hesitant. “Are you sure you’ll be okay here with Lily… and everyone?”

  Taking her face between his hands, Jason kissed her on the mouth in front of eleven stunned women, moved his lips close to her ear as if whispering something intimate to her, and said in a hushed voice, “I’m a happily married man, remember. I’ll be fine.”

  Feeling heat rush down the full length of her, Jenny looked at the women staring at them and said, “I’m a little tired, but please make yourselves at home. Mr. Colby will be here if you need anything.” She turned to Jason, gave him a sultry smile, and said in a voice intended to carry beyond him, “Good night, my love. I’ll wait up for you.”

  Her message could not have been more blatant. And the desire that smoldered in Jason’s eyes was unmistakable. She realized at once that perhaps their play acting had crossed over into reality, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to stop what was happening. But the reality was, Jason, like any hot-blooded male animal, had responded to the basic instinct of procreation, and she’d be fooling herself to believe it was anything more.

  A half hour later, Jason walked into her bedroom, Lily fussing and squirming in his arms. He closed the door and approached the bed, where Jenny sat in her night dress. “Somebody’s hungry,” he said. He waited for Jenny to open her night dress for Lily to nurse, and when she hesitated, he said, “I won’t see anything I haven’t seen already. Besides, I want to talk to you about the Dusty.”

  Jenny realized how impractical it was to fuss with privacy cloths and pretend modesty at this point. Jason was in fact her husband, even if in name only, and she did like the warm feeling his presence brought to Lily’s feeding time. Opening her night dress, she took Lily to her breast. Although she tried to dismiss his presence, the yearning she’d been trying to suppress began to stir, until she was filled with a need she wasn’t sure she wanted to curb. “What about the Dusty?” she asked in as casual a tone as she could muster.

  Jason’s gaze hovered on the breast Lily had latched onto, lingered there for a few moments, then moved up to rest on Jenny’s face. “I checked the report that was filed when your husband bought the mine, and it was clear then that the Dusty was played out. The men I have working there verified it.”

  "That just does not make sense," Jenny insisted. “Myles might have lied about giving up being a lawman, but there was no reason for him to sell everything we owned to buy a mine without gold in it. But if the Dusty’s played out," she added, "there’s no reason for me to stay.”

  After a long stretch of silence, Jason said, somewhat illogically, “You’re my wife.”

  “In name only. You’re also Lily’s godfather, but that’s no reason for me to stay. You said a city-bred woman doesn’t belong in Colby, that it’s no place to raise Lily.”

  Jason sat silently, and Jenny wondered if the subject of the Dusty had been dropped. Then he straightened his broad shoulders, looked at her, and said, “Seth believes there's a rich vein of silver ore in the Dusty. He found it when he was clearing rock from a cave in. Next week we’ll send the ore to Black Hawk for grading.”

  Jenny propped lily against her shoulder and patted her back, producing a burp, then moved her to the other breast. Lily nuzzled around then clamped onto a nipple. “Myles must have bought the mine for the silver, not the gold,” she said, feeling the heat of Jason’s gaze.

  Jason shook his head. “The vein was only discovered three weeks ago.”

  “Three weeks?" She stared at him in silence as reality began to dawn. "Then you knew about the silver before we married?”

  Jason nodded vaguely.

  Jenny felt a twinge of uncertainty followed by the gradual realization that Jason’s reason for marrying her had nothing to do with protecting her and Lily, but to secure a silver mine. “So, as my husband, that makes you owner of the Dusty. I’m beginning to see the picture. Discover silver, marry the woman who owns the mine, send her east, and enjoy the fruits of her dead husband’s labor. If you don’t mind, I’d like you to leave.”

  Jason heaved a weary sigh. “Finding silver in the Dusty had nothing to do with my asking you to marry me. Having rats in your cabin did.”

  Jenny had almost forgotten about the rats. “But you still knew about the silver ore before you asked me to marry you. Why didn’t you tell me then?”

  “We weren't sure if it was high grade enough
to work. But nothing has changed. When our marriage is dissolved, the Dusty and all the ore in it will be yours.” Jason tucked a finger under Jenny's chin and lifted, forcing her to look at him. “Believe me Jenny, I don’t want your silver. I don't need it. All I want is for you and Lily to live comfortably when you return to Iowa. Yield from the silver ore—if it proves to be a rich vein—will give me that peace of mind.”

  As she contemplated his words and wondered why, if he cared so much, Jason didn’t try to convince her to stay and be his wife, Jason brushed his thumb along her bottom lip. Then his hand glided down her neck and across her chest and covered her breast. An involuntary shiver coursed through her. Jenny closed her eyes, immersed in the peril and pleasure of his touch, imagining how that strong gentle hand would feel exploring her body, awakening it, raising it to a fevered heat. Then he bent down and pressed his lips to her breast. But the contact was fleeting.

  He raised his head and looked at her. “I'm sorry," he said, "but it’s hard not to do that when I’m here with you like this.” Saying nothing more, he stroked Lily’s head, brushed a finger across Jenny’s cheek and left the room, shutting the door behind.

  Jenny spent a restless night pondering Jason’s intimate caress. The image of her baby on one breast and a grown man on the other was deeply erotic, and she struggled with the urge to walk through the doorway between their rooms, climb into her husband’s bed and be a wife to him. But he’d given her no reason to do so, other than to satisfy a basic need. She had needs too, but hers were tangled in a network of emotions, and babies, and living a life she’d once known with fine dresses and buggy rides, and being with other city-bred women while indulging herself with luxuries she barely remembered.

  She and Myles had begun to carve a life that gave her those things, until he’d sold it all to drag her to this godforsaken place that her new husband called home.

  It was ironic that one husband was dead because of the other, and that they were similar in so many ways, most of them not to her liking. Both men had pasts they refused to disclose. Both were confident, take-control males who knew precisely what they wanted and assertively went after it, whether it was laying claim to a woman or to a gold mine. And both claimed her as theirs, when she’d vowed early on to run from the likes of them.