Stripping Her Defenses

by Jessie Lane

  “God, I missed you, babe. It feels like I’ve been living without something vital since you left.”

  I pushed against his arm so he would let me go; yet, instead of releasing me, he tightened his hold again until it was almost painful. The funny thing was, it wasn’t the too tight grip that hurt me the most. No, it was the grief I could feel rolling off him because I wanted him to let me go when he didn’t want to.

  Finally, he loosened his grip, although he didn’t drop his arm, and I read the silent message there. He’d let me walk out of his arms, but he was really hoping I wouldn’t want to. My heart clenched in my chest, and I felt tears prick at my eyes as I did what was best for both of us—walked away.

  Moving out of his embrace felt wrong, as if I were cutting off a piece of myself and trying to leave it behind. However, no matter what my heart was trying to tell me, my mind reminded me there was too much between us to make it right again.

  Turning to face the man who once knew every little thing about me, I wondered what he thought when he looked at me now. I was a completely different person than the one he’d been married to. A healthier person. I dare say a happier person, but I knew that would be pushing the truth.

  His stare was penetrating and begging, pleading with me not to walk away. Imploring with me not to shut him out. Challenging me to stay and fight for a love I could see shining for me in his eyes. A love I still held for him yet refused to let him see anymore.

  Sometimes the ones who loved us the most hurt us.

  There was a time when I thought Riley had broken me beyond all repair. Years of retrospect and some counseling had taught me I had wounded Riley far worse than he had ever hurt me when I walked away from our marriage without a word to him after the death of our son. I just didn’t know how to go about making it right. And with only moments until I had to be on the main stage, now wasn’t the time to figure it out.

  I brought my trembling hands together in front of me, hoping that, if I could stop their shaking, I could make myself feel a bit stronger. Forcing myself to look him in the eye, I took in a deep, fortifying breath and did my best to express the remorse I couldn’t make myself admit to him yet.

  “I know this must be a shock to you… finding me here.” I waved my hand at the room in general. “And I know you deserve some answers, Riley, but I can’t give them to you right now. As unfair as it is for me to ask this, I’m going to ask it anyways. I need time.”

  He opened his mouth to protest, but I cut him off. “Please. I’m begging you, Riley. Please, just give me a little time. I can’t talk to you right at this moment for two reasons: you deserve a thorough explanation, and I can’t give it to you right now. Plus, I have to be on the stage in a couple of minutes for my show.”

  “You’re not going out on that fucking stage, Kara,” he ground out.

  His fervent anger caught me off guard. Would I have expected this behavior from him eight years ago while we were still married? Yes. Now? No.

  I’d grown into my independence. My meaning for living and breathing no longer centered on having a man in my life. I was perfectly happy being on my own and doing whatever the hell I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it.

  I guess he was going to have to learn that lesson the hard way.

  “Sucks for you that you don’t have a right to tell me what I can or can’t do anymore, doesn’t it?”

  And as Riley stood there with his jaw hanging open in surprise at my answer, I turned on my stiletto heels and stomped away from him, leaving him behind for the second time in my life.

  Chapter

  9

  Riley

  I don’t know how long I’d been standing there, completely lost in my thoughts, when I realized someone was calling my name.

  “Riley? Bro. Snap to it already, man.” I looked over to see Dec in the doorway, looking exasperated, though a little worried, too. “You okay?” he asked warily.

  Nodding my head, the words I spoke directly contradicted the action. “No. I mean, yes.”

  “Well, make your mind up already! Is it yes or no?”

  Shrugging, I shoved my hands in my pockets and looked down to study my boots. There was too much rolling around in my mind to answer that question. Was I all right? The answer was yes and no. Yes, because after eight years of not knowing where my wife had ended up, now I knew. No, because I finally knew where my wife was, and I didn’t like it one fucking bit. Not to mention I couldn’t get her to talk to me. What’s more, she had walked away from me. Again.

  A new voice cut through my thoughts. Lucas.

  “I don’t know what you two pansy asses are doing in here, and I get that you’ve got some serious personal shit going on, man, but we’ve still got shit to do. Get your ass in gear and come on. Let’s go talk to Ice and Hammer before they get pissed off and change their minds about putting holes in your ass, Sullivan.” I looked back up to see Lucas watching me with something akin to pity on his face.

  Well, fuck that.

  I didn’t need his pity.

  Shutting off my emotions, I walked out of that room with my head held high and a look that dared anyone to say something to me. I wasn’t going to take shit from anybody.

  I was a man on a mission.

  I wasn’t talking about work, either.

  Following Lucas down the hall, we stepped into the next room on the left, which happened to be the last room. There we found Ice sitting at the head of a large rectangular table with four chairs down each side. Hammer, who had been waiting for us by the doorway, shut the door behind Dec and then walked around the table so he could sit next to his President. Ice waved for us to sit in the other chairs on the opposite side of the table from Hammer.

  Once we were settled, Ice reached behind him, and I couldn’t help tensing, wondering if he was reaching for his gun since I didn’t know where he had it holstered. Instead of a gun, he pulled some papers he had folded length wise and threw them on the table in front of Lucas.

  “Those are the strippers that have gone missing from the south Florida area in the last year.” I grabbed the papers from in front of Lucas and started flipping through them while I listened to Ice continue to speak. “Couldn’t find any missing strippers that seemed to tie to those before that, which got me thinking… Either they moved into the south Florida area at the beginning of that year and started with the strippers, or they started with a different profile of women before that.”

  I’d seen at least four blondes and three brunettes before I found Laura Moore, the first red head in the pile. The overall profile of what the kidnappers had been looking for were apparently the same: young, pretty, and more than likely a wild child.

  Flashing the page to Declan, I then slid it over for Lucas to see while I continued to flip through the other fifteen or so profiles as Ice kept yapping info.

  “Hammer and I did some digging and found that the rate of missing persons fitting the profile of young and pretty dried up before that year, but I didn’t believe for a second that whoever it was taking those girls just started this game a year ago. We expanded our search and found a pattern of sorts across the south. No definitive pattern on what states they hit, but whoever it is, I think they came from below the border,” Ice finished up.

  “What makes you think they came from Mexico?” Lucas asked.

  Holding up his hand, Ice started naming states as he counted them off his fingers. “California, Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, and even Alabama. Just not in that order. Including us, that’s every single southernmost state in the country. They hit in a random pattern from California to Texas first, and I bet that’s because they were smuggling the girls via motor vehicle transportation of some sort over the roads. Two to three girls a month from the southern most cities in different areas for years.

  “After that, though, that’s where it gets weird. I’m thinking they came too close to getting caught. All of a sudden, the kidnappings seemed to dry up. Nothing for almost a year
from what we can find. Then they started up again, only on the states farthest away with no direct roads into Mexico attached to them. So either they’re driving that much farther—which I doubt—or they found a new means of transportation.”

  “You thinking planes?” I asked.

  Ice pursed his lips. “Perhaps. It would seem the most likely. Look, I don’t like these assholes because I don’t believe in selling flesh that isn’t willing to be sold. And this shit hits close to home since it’s in my backyard. I gotta keep my girls protected, and I don’t like the idea that they might not be safe because of this.” Ice looked at the three of us in a considering manner, as if weighing what to say for a second before he spoke again. “Heard you boys had a party down in Mexico not too long ago. Think it could be connected?”

  The back of my neck tingled in warning. How the hell did these two jokers know we’d been across the border? Only individuals with the highest classified rankings in the US should know that information. Therefore, that either meant the boys were more than just the outlaw bikers they played at, or they had somebody in their pocket. Lucas, being an informant, didn’t even register, because although he’d served with these men and told us he trusted them implicitly, he would never divulge information about a mission to someone outside our team. The man was loyal to a fault. I couldn’t bark any questions at Ice and Hammer about their knowledge, though; it would only cause them to clam up on us.

  Grabbing the picture of Laura Moore back from Declan, I slid it across the table towards Ice. “Possibly. We found that one when we were down in Mexico.”

  Ice looked at the picture before sliding it over to Hammer. “She give you any information on who took her?”

  I shook my head. “Died before we could talk to her.”

  “Shame,” Hammer murmured. Looking back to us, he asked, “She the reason you lookin’ into this?”

  It was a harmless enough question, and if they thought we were out for justice because of Laura alone, then they wouldn’t know about Baker’s woman’s involvement.

  “Yes,” I responded.

  I watched Ice’s face go blank. The man was damn good at putting on a mask to cover up his emotions. “Now that I’ve shown you my hand, show me yours. What are you planning to do?”

  Declan and I stayed silent. I knew my brother well enough to know the comment about us being in Mexico had tipped him off that something more might be going on here with the Regulators. It was better for the team member who actually knew these men to dish out the information for the rest of this meeting.

  Lucas leaned forward, resting his arms on the table. “Track them down, obtain some intel about who they’re trafficking to, and then they disappear permanently.”

  Hammer smirked. “Doesn’t sound like the government is interested in turning them over to the Alphabets.”

  Lucas slowly rubbed his hands together on top of the table. “The FBI, CIA, and all those other pencil pushers have no idea we were even in Mexico. That means we can’t pop up with detainees involved in human slavery without questions being asked. It’s better to handle this in house and then bury the problem.”

  “You need help burying that problem?” Hammer asked.

  “Beyond the undercover gig you’re letting us pull within your area, I don’t think so. But, if that changes, I’ll let you know, man.”

  Hammer nodded and then looked to Ice. “We done, Prez?”

  Ice leaned back in his chair while staring at me. “I’m done with everybody but him.” Ice pointed in my direction. “He stays so we can have words.”

  Dec tensed beside me; however, I waved him off. Ice wanted to talk? Fine by me. It gave me the perfect chance to tell him to stay the fuck away from my wife. “It’s fine, bro. Go out into the club and get a drink. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

  My brother shot me an uncertain look, but Lucas just clapped me on the back before getting up, murmuring, “Don’t do anything stupid, Sullivan,” before walking out.

  When the room was empty, leaving only Ice and myself, the silence wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable; it was charged with an angry intensity. With one wrong move, both of us knew the other would retaliate in the blink of an eye. Over one woman. But God that woman was worth it.

  She was worth everything.

  And I had a feeling this cocksucker knew that, which only pissed me off more than I already was.

  Not moving his eyes off my own in some sort of twisted game of chicken, Ice spoke in a low tone. “I’ve known Kara for quite some time now. About six years, in fact. The first year, she spent working as a waitress here. She caught my eye her first night on the job, but I don’t touch the girls that work for me. My boys may mingle with the hired help, but I’ve learned the hard way it causes problems, so I turned a blind eye to the beautiful woman who looked sad half the time she was here, and I did my best to forget about her.

  “That all changed when she asked me if she could take the stage. I may not have spent much time talking to Kara, but I’d learned a lot about her just from observation, and it would’ve been hard to miss that she wasn’t the type to go up on a stage to flash her tits and ass for men. But she’s a beautiful woman, and I’d be dumb as shit not to throw her kind of beauty up on that stage and not make money off it. So I told her she could get up on that stage if she told me why she wanted to do it.”

  Suddenly, there was a lump in my throat. I wasn’t certain if I wanted to hear why my wife had gotten the urge to start baring a body that had only been seen by me. I had to hear this, though, if I was going to figure out what was going on with her. Besides, it was obvious she had some sort of connection with the man in front of me.

  Ice started tapping his fingers on his leg. “The beautiful woman with the sad eyes told me she had to find herself and that meant being brave in ways she’d never had the guts to do before. It wasn’t a complete answer or anything I’d been expecting, but I sort of admired her conviction when she told me she had to have the courage to find herself.

  “At first, that woman was a fucking wreck. Candy tried to show her moves, and she did all right, but you could tell she was stiff and out of her element. However, she insisted on doing the stage anyways. Her first night on the stage, though? She totally froze, scared out of her goddamn mind.

  “I thought that was it. I thought, after going on that stage and being booed off by drunken assholes who got pissed because she stood there as still as a fucking statue, shakin’ out of fear, that she’d be done, totally over the stage. Only she wasn’t. Three days later, she came in, apologized, and asked me for one more chance.

  “Everyone thought I was out of my mind when I gave her that chance, but they didn’t see what I saw. I looked into her eyes and saw determination. Fierce kind of shit. The type of drive that told me, without saying the words, she thought this was one of the most important things she’d ever do. I didn’t get why a chick would be so damn hung up on getting naked on the stage, but my gut told me she needed this, so I gave it to her.”

  Ice smirked at me, although it wasn’t a cocky smirk. It was more of a small smile filled with a fondness I wished he didn’t have for my wife. “Damn, was I ever glad I gave her a second chance. Was she perfect? Fuck no. But she got up on that stage, and after a minute or so of getting comfortable dancing to the music, I saw something I’m not sure I’ll ever see again in my lifetime. I saw a woman coming into her own, out of a debilitating shell. It was more than having an epiphany. You could tell when she came off that stage, all warm, genuine smiles and sparkling eyes, that she had found something most people spend their entire lives looking for and never truly achieve. Freedom. Down to the bottom of her soul, fucking freedom, man.

  “Whatever ghosts she had walking into my club, whatever emotional chains that had held her down, were finally gone. She was free from whatever inner torture she’d been going through and ready to move on with her life. And move on she did.”

  I balled my fists on top of my thighs. I wasn’t ready to
hear about Kara moving on. I didn’t want her to move on; I wanted her back by my side. Hopefully, he wasn’t about to wax poetic about having a relationship with my wife, because if he tried, I couldn’t guarantee I wouldn’t reach over and snap his fucking neck.

  “Calm your shit down, man. Hear me out. I like having this conversation with you about as much as you want to have it with me. Anyways, she started moving on with her life, laughing more, making friends, going out with some of the girls on her time off. She worked my stage for four years. And in that time, she became an essential piece to this club. Not because the customers loved her, but because she became a sort of den mother, helping the girls, helping the boys running the club, and helping me in this office.

  “She also spent her spare time going back to school for photography classes to pursue her dreams. Now, I told you all of that shit so I could tell you this next shit. I don’t know what happened between the two of you, and after what I’ve had with Kara, I don’t want to fuckin’ know. What you need to know is, if you do anything to dim that light shining from her eyes, to fuckin’ break her into the fragile little doll that walked through my doors lookin’ for a waitressing job, I will end you. They’ll never find your body, but most importantly, they’ll never know it was me who made you disappear. You understand what I’m saying?”

  Damn. Getting lectured about the woman who meant more to me than my own breath—yeah, it burned. It took everything I had not to reach over and punch him in the face for trying to put me in my place and insinuating about his intimacy with Kara. I restrained myself for one reason, though. He’d been here for her when I couldn’t. He’d been there for her in ways she needed. He’d done for six years what I hadn’t been able to do in the last couple years of our marriage.

  Damn, didn’t that realization suck?

  No matter how much it burned my ass, I had to walk out of this room, leaving this man intact, because he’d taken care of Kara when I’d only contributed to her breakdown. As a result, I was going to take his shit. I was going to accept it and swallow it like that giant goddamn emotional horse pill it felt like, practically choking me, hoping I walked away a better man because I’d done so.