Unforgiving

by Patricia Haley

  Joel hadn’t expected her to agree so easily. Actually, the quick respond made him doubtful that she was fully aware of what was being proposed. He couldn’t help but to think that she would agree to just about any terms that kept them together even if it wasn’t sustainable. Did she get that her gods would have to be abandoned in order for her to follow his God? He wanted her to know for sure what was being asked of her, because the marriage depended on both of them entering into the union for a second time with full knowledge and a desire to be together. He wasn’t convinced that she understood.

  “Do you understand that you can’t make this life-changing decision for me? Accepting Christ is a forever decision.”

  “I do understand, and I’m willing to learn about your God.”

  “Are you sure?” he asked, still not confident.

  “Yes, with all my heart. If you follow Him, I shall follow Him.”

  “It might not be that simple, with you coming from a culture that believes in something else.”

  “I believe in you and this marriage. As a wife, I must follow my husband. My parents are gone, and they cannot help me now. They lived with their gods. My journey has taken me on a different path and I am me here, with you. This is where I want to be. This is where I must be.” She squeezed his hand this time. “I want to live with you in a true marriage, and I willingly accept your God.”

  “Okay,” he uttered. “But God has to come first in your heart, and not me, because honestly, I might fail you again and again. Not intentionally, but I’m not perfect. I will try my best to work at the marriage, but your trust must be in God and not in me. He is our only hope.”

  Zarah assured Joel that she wanted to know his God.

  He wasn’t sure how realistic their plan was, but Joel was willing to go forward by faith. He’d have to trust that she was committed to the religious change, and that six months or a year down the road he wouldn’t find candles or figurines of gods or shrines hidden around the house. She seemed sincere, and so was he. Therefore, Joel let his doubt subside. He’d give the marriage a real shot. Exactly what that meant was to be determined, but he was thinking along the lines of dating and ultimately renewing their vows in a few months if everything worked out. He was cautious but open.

  They embraced, and Zarah was filled with hope.

  Chapter 38

  Tamara burst into the hospital room, carrying a duffel bag. She entered so abruptly that Joel didn’t have a chance to become defensive. Tamara darted to Zarah’s bedside and hugged her.

  “I came to say goodbye,” she said, juggling the duffel bag, which was partially hanging off her shoulder. “Take care of yourself and don’t worry. I’m sure you’ll have many babies someday.”

  To Joel, it seemed that she was talking fast and acting very odd, much more than usual.

  “I’ll see you later,” Tamara said and gave Zarah another hug. She turned to leave.

  “Where are you going in such a rush?” Zarah asked.

  “I’m going to the airport.” Tamara cleared her throat and let her gaze drop.

  “I didn’t know you were traveling?”

  “I—I have s-somewhere to be,” she told Zarah, stumbling over her words and her feet.

  She was frantic, and Joel was curious. “What’s up with you? You seem hyped up today,” he said.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I have to catch my flight. I’m out of here,” Tamara responded, like a person in major distress. Her eyes blinked repeatedly, and she jumped every time somebody walked past the door.

  Since Joel didn’t believe she was involved with drugs, his curiosity was piqued, which made him very inquisitive. What if she was suicidal? It might be a stretch for some, but tragedy lived in his family. Although he hoped he was wrong, the real possibility that this was the case forced him to take action. He asked again, “What’s up with you?”

  “Nothing. I’m out of here. I have to go,” Tamara shouted, and this seemed to startle Zarah.

  “You are too upset to go. Stay with us until you are better,” Zarah said.

  Tamara seemed to calm down slightly when speaking to her friend. “I’m sorry, but I have to go. There’s someone coming to see me that I don’t want to see. So, I have to get out of here.” She bolted toward the door with her duffel bag in tow.

  Without considering the ramifications, Joel grabbed her arm as she tried to get past him.

  She stopped. “Let me go.”

  “Who’s coming to see you?” he asked.

  “Nobody. Forget I said that. Something has come up, and I have to get away.”

  Joel wasn’t convinced. “Here.” He nodded in the direction of the door. “Can you step into the hallway for a minute?” he asked, maintaining a gentle grip on her arm.

  “I—I have to go right now. Seriously,” she said as they stepped into the hallway. Joel felt the tremor in her body, which gave him even more incentive to figure out who had her acting so frightened.

  “I know. I get that you have to go, but just give me a minute. I need to ask you something.”

  “No, I have to go,” she insisted, wiggling from his grip.

  He didn’t know what her problem was, but it was serious and he was concerned. Regardless of their strained relationship, he could tell she was troubled, and Joel wanted to help if he could. He had to act quickly.

  “Fine. But can I get your help? I need to take care of something. Can you stay with Zarah for a few minutes? I’ll be quick.”

  Tamara appeared uncertain. Joel had to keep her in sight. He had to take a delicate approach and capitalize on Tamara’s affection for Zarah. It was the last resort. He poked his head into the room and called out to Zarah, “Wouldn’t you feel better if Tamara stayed a bit longer?”

  “Oh, yes. I would,” Zarah agreed.

  Joel could tell Tamara was caving. “Hurry up, because I can’t stay long. I mean it,” she said and reentered the room.

  “Thanks,” Joel said and bolted down the hallway. There wasn’t much time. He went five doors down the hallway, which allowed him to see the entrance to Zarah’s room clearly. He dialed Don’s phone. It rang and rang before the call bounced to his voice mail. He didn’t waste a second dialing Madeline. He should have called her first. The phone rang as his anxiety escalated. A few rings and Madeline was on the line.

  “Thank goodness you answered. It’s Joel.”

  “Yep, I caught your voice. What can I do for you?”

  “Thought you might want to know that Tamara is here at the hospital and is acting strange.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “She said that someone is coming to see her, and whoever it is has her scared and in a huge hurry to get out of town.”

  “Oh my goodness! It can’t be!”

  “What?”

  “Earlier this year her crazy boyfriend chased her from Europe to Detroit. He had her worked up in a similar way. I paid Frank to take care of him, and I assumed he was gone for good.”

  “You think this is about him?”

  “I don’t know, but I pray it’s not.”

  “Let me go back to the room and talk to her. I’ll see if I can get anything out of her. I better go. She is very antsy and isn’t going to hang around for long.”

  “Where are you?”

  “We’re at Henry Ford Hospital, the main one on West Grand Boulevard.”

  “I’m on my way. I’ll call Don too since he’s closer to the hospital than I am. Joel, please don’t let her out of your sight.”

  Joel hustled back to the room. Tamara was there but was ready to bolt. “Can I talk to you outside?” he asked.

  She followed him as he gently pulled her arm toward the door and then stepped into the hallway. Her shaking continued to unnerve him. Tamara had never shown signs of weakness or fear. Seeing her so vulnerable drew out his protective nature. First, he had to get her to talk.

  “What’s going on? And don’t tell me, ‘Nothing.’ I know you well enough to see you�
��re scared to death. As tough as you are with me every single day, I know this isn’t you. What’s going on? Let me help you.”

  “You can’t help me. It’s best for me to get out of town and go back to the life I had before moving to Detroit.”

  “You don’t mean that.”

  “How can you tell me that? I need to go. I’m not safe here.”

  “Oh, yes you are. You’re here with me. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

  “Yeah, right. Like you care about me.”

  “Believe it or not, I do. I haven’t always shown you the best of me, but then, you never gave me the chance.”

  She looked away but didn’t interrupt.

  “Let’s face it. We’re family. That’s not going to change. Plus, we share a common interest, and that’s Zarah. She wants both of us in her life. So, we might as well figure out how to respect one another. Who knows? Maybe one day we’ll grow to like each other,” he said and laughed. “Seriously, what’s going on? Does this have anything to do with that Remo guy?”

  She jerked her arm from his grip. “How do you know his name?”

  “Madeline told me.”

  Tamara looked confused.

  “I called and told her you were leaving town.”

  “Why did you do that? Now she’s going to be rushing over here and try to save the day. I don’t need all this drama. I have to go.” She turned to leave.

  He reached for her arm again, but she pulled away. “Tamara, wait.”

  “I can’t.” And with that she took off down the hallway.

  Joel opened the door and yelled into Zarah’s room, “I’ll be right back.” Then he chased Tamara down the hallway, down the stairs, and into the lobby. Out of nowhere, Joel saw a guy approach Tamara. He was about five-ten with olive-colored skin and long black hair. The guy grabbed her arm. Joel ran up to them.

  Joel couldn’t understand everything the guy was saying to Tamara. His accent was quite heavy, and Joel couldn’t tell if it was French or Italian. “Are you Remo?”

  “Yes!” Tamara screamed before the guy could respond.

  Joel didn’t wait for any more questions and answers. He caught the eye of a guard standing nearby. “Call the police! This guy is assaulting my sister. Hurry!” he yelled to the guard and then pushed Tamara away. Joel wrestled with Remo, who had initially attempted to flee, but he wasn’t getting away without a fight. After a brief tussle, Joel and the guard successfully subdued Remo, and the guard held him until the police arrived.

  Joel was wired. His adrenaline was pumping fast. Tamara leapt at Joel and cried without speaking. Ten minutes or so passed before the police arrived. Joel did most of the talking, as Tamara was very withdrawn.

  Don ran into the hospital’s lobby ten minutes after the police arrived, which wasn’t surprising, since he lived downtown. “Tamara, are you okay?”

  She shook her head no.

  Don went to speak with the police officers, who had placed handcuffs on Remo. Another twenty minutes later, as the police were taking Remo away, Madeline ran into the lobby. She rushed toward Tamara and pulled her from Joel and Don’s circle of protection. “Are you all right?”

  Tamara nodded. “I’m okay.”

  “What happened?”

  “I don’t want to talk about this,” she said, pulling away from Madeline’s embrace. “I have a flight to catch.”

  “No, you don’t. You don’t have to run away. That nutcase will be locked up,” Madeline told her daughter.

  “For how long?”

  “Don’t you worry. I’ll take care of it,” Madeline stated.

  “No, Mother, you won’t. You can’t. You tried to take care of him before, and it didn’t work. Don’t you see? You can’t fix our lives or our problems. As much as you want, you just can’t.”

  Madeline was silent. Tamara was right. Her daughter’s words were hurtful, but she got it. “Okay. Then, what can I do? How can I help you? How can any of us help you?”

  “By giving me some space to figure this out myself.”

  “Fine, but can you at least wait forty-eight hours before flying off. We’ll all feel safer if you’re here with us.”

  “All right. I’ll stay a few days, but if Remo gets out before then, I’m gone, without a word to anyone.”

  “Agreed,” Madeline said.

  “You can stay with me,” Don offered.

  Tamara reluctantly accepted.

  “Do you want me to take you by your apartment to pick up a few things?” Don asked.

  “No need. I already have everything that I want,” she said, patting her duffel bag.

  “Get her out of here and take her to your place,” Madeline said. “Hire a legion of off-duty police officers with guns to guard your condo if you need to. I’ll cover the cost.”

  “Mother, I just told you to let me figure this out. Don’t crowd me with cops or guards or your rules. I won’t take it,” Tamara stated.

  “I got it,” Madeline said, throwing up her hands. “I’m zipping my lips.”

  “Let me know if there’s anything I can do for you,” Joel told Tamara.

  Tamara reached for his hand and squeezed it. “Thank you.”

  Don and Tamara left without further incident.

  Chapter 39

  The activity in the hospital lobby returned to normal. Madeline and Joel chatted for a bit after finding a quiet corner.

  “What a mess, huh?” she said with her arms folded.

  “I’m just glad this turned out the way it did,” Joel replied.

  “Thanks to you. I don’t know what would have happened if he’d caught her at the airport, alone.”

  “Well, we don’t have to worry about that.”

  “Seriously, thank you,” she said, extending her hand to him. Instead of taking it, he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and held her tightly. Madeline didn’t resist. The hug wasn’t so bad, after all. “All right. Don’t get too mushy on me. We need a strong CEO.”

  “What do you mean?” Joel asked, giving her a little space.

  “With Tamara all messed up from this Remo thing, I can’t in good conscience remotely consider putting her in the top spot. I wasn’t comfortable from the beginning.” She gasped. “I’ll admit that I let my emotions cloud my judgment. One day, when you become a parent, you’ll understand.” Immediately after the words left her lips, Madeline was mortified. “I’m sorry. That was an insensitive comment, given what you and your wife have just experienced. Forgive me.”

  Joel shook his head. “Don’t worry about it.”

  Madeline wasn’t accustomed to apologizing. And the phrase “Forgive me” was especially foreign to her. Good or bad, she had always been willing to live with her successes and mistakes. To a fault, she held others to the same high standard. According to her, there wasn’t a reason to apologize and seek forgiveness if everyone owned up to their decisions and choices. When she was younger and the world seemed manageable, Madeline had routinely clung to that view of the world. Somehow it was changing. She reflected on the tragedy her daughter could have suffered at the hands of Remo. Regrettably, she had to face her limitations. She couldn’t stop bad things from happening to any of them, not really. Invincibility was not possible. Madeline felt small in a big world that she didn’t have the ability to control.

  It dawned on her that changes were required at the top of DMI, and in the Mitchell family, if there was to be a legacy worth protecting. Madeline courageously set her pride aside and opted to assess situations from that point on through the lens of an accomplished businesswoman instead of a wounded mother bent on protecting her children.

  “I have my head on straight now. You’re our best option for CEO.” Madeline peered directly into Joel’s eyes, refusing to let him look away. “Please say yes. I’ll even throw in another hug.”

  “Nah, the CEO position isn’t for me, Madeline, but thanks for the offer. I’ve done some soul-searching of my own, and it’s time for me to settle down and do
as you’ve done, get my head on straight. I’ve played this back-and-forth game far too long.”

  “So that’s it? You’re out of the corporate scene?”

  “Yep. I want to start fresh with Zarah—everything new and build from scratch.”

  “That’s a shock. I figured with the baby dying, your marriage was over. It’s an easy out. There’s nothing tying you to the arranged marriage now.”

  “Only her love for me and my commitment to her.”

  “Didn’t you hear that love is overrated?” Madeline said.

  “Maybe, but she loves me, and I care deeply for her.”

  “But you don’t love her. Why stay in a loveless marriage?”

  “Like you said, love is overrated. I’m staying with her out of respect, admiration, and a need to honor my commitment to her father.” Joel wasn’t going to tell Madeline about his budding physical attraction for Zarah. That would be sharing too much personal information outside the confines of his marriage. To tell the truth, he hadn’t made such a declaration to Zarah. He resolved that many things were better left unsaid.

  “Doesn’t sound good enough for me.”

  “Once we get God into this marriage, we will be fine. I’m sure of it.”

  “With divorce rates so high, how can you be so sure? Church folks do get divorced too.”

  “I can’t worry about what-if. As long as I hold on to God’s hand and she does too, we’ll be okay.”

  “Excuse me for being so direct, but I recall that Zarah has an entirely different belief system. You’re not getting her into a baptismal pool or a Bible study class anytime soon. When people are deeply rooted in a religion, they don’t just change overnight. You might be seeing through rose-colored glasses on this one.”

  “I can’t speak for Zarah and how much she’ll change.” Joel laid his hand across his chest. “I can only speak for myself. I know the life I lived when God was in charge. It’s a lot different than the drama I’ve dealt with when He was out of the picture. I’m like a kid who was told not to touch the hot stove and did it, anyway. Once you get burned, only a fool returns for more, and I’m not a fool.”

  Talk about changes, Madeline thought. There was a time not very long ago when Joel was deemed the biggest fool she knew. This Joel was much better to be around.