“But we’ve known that this is what has been expected of us. Our whole lives it’s always been known that you and I would marry. Think of what you’re doing. There’s more to this union than just us two, the companies. What will become of all those plans if we don’t go through with it?”
“We only believed that this was necessary because we were raised to believe that it is what’s best. I didn’t care one way or the other when we were younger. Life didn’t hold that much meaning for me I’ll admit. Why do you think I volunteered for all those dangerous missions? When the chance of my coming out alive was slim to none? Because I didn’t care.”
I had her full attention now but as much as she was listening, she didn’t seem convinced. How could we have all been so blind? How can I get her to hear me now? I’d tried to spare her, but there was no way that was possible now. If I didn’t do this, the woman I love will suffer, I can’t allow that. So I’ll have to hurt someone who’d done me no harm. It wasn’t my finest moment.
“I didn’t care about you or my inheritance, or any of the rest of it, I’m sorry, nothing personal. But now my life has new meaning, she has given it new meaning. It’s for her that I’m willing to go against everything I know everything I’ve been taught.” There, I’d finally crossed the point of no return. No way could any self respecting woman wish to be married to a man who felt that way about her.
“How romantic, you’ve given your heart to the little tart. But tell me, what’s your mother going to say about all this?” It’s like talking to two different people. I kept looking for glimpses of the girl I thought she was, the one I’d grown up with that had always seemed so reserved, so soft-spoken and genteel. I didn’t know this person standing before me.
Her smirk told me she thought she’d won. Heaven knows my mother has always gotten her way in the past. But that was before I gave a damn. “Your mother will never stand for having a classless slut for a daughter in law.
“I’ll thank you not to call my future wife such vile names. She’s an innocent young girl who I happen to be in love with. None of this is her fault. If you want to blame anyone then blame me, but leave her out of it, she’s off fucking limits.” Her body stiffened but she held her tongue. It was the first time she’d ever seen my displeasure aimed at her.
“As for my mother, she’ll accept my decision or not that’s up to her. But either way it will change nothing. I am going to marry her.”
“She’ll never be accepted, never be one of us. You’ve really scraped the bottom of the barrel there.” I have to say her attitude towards Lucia was making this a whole lot easier. I no longer felt that discomfort in the pit of my gut.
I didn’t expect her to readily accept the woman that would in essence be taking her place, but she had no right to speak about her like that.
The truth is that my ‘intended’ as well as some of the ‘us’ she mentioned, weren’t as innocent as they’d have everyone else believe. Something else I hadn’t cared enough about in the past. But if she or anyone else were going to throw stones, I’d just have to remind them of a few things.
“Those are the very reasons I love her. The fact that she’s not ‘one of us’. She’s sweet and smart with a heart as big as the ocean. She’s not cold and distant, with no more compassion than it takes to write a check. For her, charity is actually getting out there and doing something, and not for the cameras.”
That last one was a low blow but she was grating on my nerves with her assessment of someone she knew nothing about. The girl whose character she was so blatantly disparaging had more honor and decency in her little finger than many of my acquaintances.
“As I said, I never meant to hurt you, but you and I both know that I owe you nothing. I can tell the others if you’d like, or we can just let things die. There was never a formal engagement, no plans have been made. So it should be easy enough to move on from this. If you need to give an excuse, feel free to tell anyone who’d ask that the fault is mine.”
“You mean I should sit back and say nothing as the whole world watches you shame me by marrying that… that.... She’s the maid’s daughter. Do you realize how that will make me look? That you’d prefer her to me? Is she to be the lady of your house? And what about her parents, will you be moving them from the caretaker’s cottage into the mansion?”
I’m sure she thought her insults would somehow get me to see the error of my ways, but little does she know that I care nothing about any of that. All I care about is Lucia and how soon I can get her into my damn bed.
“What I do has nothing to do with you. I’m only here as a courtesy but I see I’m wasting my time. Remember, save your venom for me, because if you do anything to hurt her I will forget our past friendship.” I’m sure she understood the threat as I got to my feet and left.
That had not gone at all as I’d expected but at least it was done. I actually felt better now that that was over, and with very little drama or hysterics. I’d expected tears and accusations and was very pleased that they’d been absent, but I have to say I was more than a little bit surprised at her nastiness. I never knew she had it in her.
I didn’t even know she knew Lucia existed since she never mentioned her. I’d heard plenty about her from Lucia though, who always seemed to notice every time Helen was a guest for dinner or whatever purpose she had for visiting.
I’m glad that I had seen this side of her now rather than later. There would be no need for us to continue in friendship now, something I was sure my little hellcat would’ve been against anyway. I’m also glad my little princess had saved me from myself, from going through with a loveless marriage that would’ve been worse than doing a stint in hell.
Having seen this side of Helen, I know now that I would’ve never been able to find an ounce of happiness with her. It would’ve been like marrying my mother. Both women had the same inbred prejudices and hang-ups that I could no longer stomach. And I’d had enough of that cold detachment from my mother to last me a lifetime.
No, I want only the joy and infectious laughter I’d found these last few months with the little dark haired sprite with the sparking grey eyes that pulled at me without even trying. I felt lighter than I had in years, not since I was a kid in fact.
As I drove through the busy afternoon streets, passing places I’d frequented as a child, I found a new excitement in the town I’d stopped even noticing since I became an adult and went off to university, before joining up. Now as I passed old landmarks I couldn’t wait to take her to some of them with me. To share that side of my life with her. Things I hadn’t given a thought to in years suddenly had new meaning.
The old movie theatre I used to take girls to in high school so that I could spend the whole length of the show trying to get into their pants. I wanted to take her there. Or the nice Italian restaurant that had always been one of my favorites.
I had the radio on blast, and hummed along, something I hadn’t done in damn near ten years. She was so good for me, and it was only now that the other bullshit had been cleared away that I could truly see it. I do believe I can be a better man with her at my side.
She makes me hope for things that I never cared much about, but now wanted them all for her, with her. I want to walk down by the old promenade, eating an ice cream cone, while holding her hand in mine. Dammit, I hadn’t planned on becoming a complete sap, but here I am planning our first date as man and woman.
8
I went straight home from Helen’s place. I had no doubt she’d already called my mother before I cleared the door and was probably even now relaying the events that transpired during my visit. It didn’t matter though, as long as my mother stayed away from the cottage I really didn’t care at this point.
I was just in time it looked like as I saw her personal assistant slipping through the hedges that separated the two properties as I drove up the long driveway. I stomped on the brakes and jumped out of the car. “Hold it.” She stopped in her tracks and turned back to me wi
th a look of astonishment on her face as I made my way towards her.
I don’t know much about her, other than that her name is Jill or something like that I think. The daughter of a fallen family or so I’ve heard. That means her family had once amassed great wealth but had lost it sometime in the last century. Very clannish the wealthy. I imagine mom was bemoaning the fact that she’d gone outside and hired Lucia’s family as opposed to going with a recommendation from one of her cohorts.
“Where are you going?” As if I didn’t know. She searched for an excuse but wasn’t quick enough. “I hear you like to make house calls. You can go back inside and get your things, you’re fired.” I think that’s the first time I’d fired anyone. It beats wringing her fucking neck for what she’d done, what she’d almost cost me.
She seemed to be struck dumb for a few seconds but found her voice soon enough. “You can’t fire me, I work for Mrs. Sullivan.”
“Don’t kid yourself sweetheart. I’m sure my mother has given you the impression that she runs everything around her including me, but nothing can be farther from the truth. Now get your shit and get the hell off my property. And if you ever go near Lucia again, I’ll have you arrested.”
I didn’t realize I was this angry until she was standing before me, in the process of doing that shit again. Anyone who found such ease in threatening a young girl, using threats against her family to get their way, wasn’t deserving of my leniency.
True she’d only been carrying out my mother’s orders, but I have no doubt she’d enjoyed her little task. The fact that Lucia had been about to bolt after that one meeting with her told me all I needed to know about how that shit went down.
She didn’t bother arguing, just turned on her heel and ran back to the house. No doubt she was another one who believed that my mother would save her. After what she’d done mom should be looking out for her own neck.
It’s true I’ve let her have her way in most things for the past decade or so, or more to the point, my whole damn life. But she’d gone too far this time. I’m not a child for her to control. How dare she try to run my life?
In all fairness had I given more of a shit, had I shown even the slightest interest in life outside of the marines, none of this would be happening. Whatever, none of that mattered now. I’m going to put a stop to her reign. It’s the only way to protect Lucia.
I took my time walking into the house but instead of going to mom’s rooms as I’d intended, I swung by the kitchen first to see her mother. She was busy directing one of the servants in the correct way to clean the silver.
“Mrs. Clifton, if I may have a minute.” She looked startled at my interruption. I’m not accustomed to being in this part of the house and here I was twice in one day engaging her in conversation.
She followed me into the study down the hall where I led her before closing the door behind us. “I need you to find a new housekeeper and caretaker.”
“I’m sorry, why, what happened, have I done something?” Damn this habit I have of saying shit the wrong way was becoming annoying.
“No, nothing like that, but I can’t have my wife’s parents working for me, not in that capacity anyway.”
“Your…what are you talking about?” The poor woman looked like she was about to faint. “Please sit down before you fall.” I helped her into a chair. She was so much like her only daughter. That soft, quiet, unassuming manner. Lucia was that way with everyone but me. I get her sharp tongue and snippy comebacks, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
“Now I don’t expect you to go without wages, but there must be something else you can do. I have a few ideas about that but one thing at a time. We’ll discuss all that later. I just wanted to give you a heads-up and to tell you in a roundabout way that I’m going to marry your daughter. I haven’t told her any of this yet so I’ll appreciate it if you didn’t say anything to her until I’ve had a chance to later.”
“Told her? We are talking about my daughter Lucia right? Five foot two, about one hundred pounds of hell on wheels?” She seems to have regained her composure quite well. And she was spot on about her brat of a daughter.
“The very one. And yes I will tell her, asking her anything as you know is like pulling teeth.” We both smiled at that before I let her go. She stopped in the doorway and looked back at me. “Are you in love with my daughter? I won’t ask you about Ms. Helen, that’s none of my affair, but I don’t want my little girl hurt.”
“Neither do I. Ms. Helen already knows, I just came from seeing her.” She nodded and left without another word. That was easy. I wasn’t expecting this next phase to go as well.
The day was full of surprises. She didn’t seem at all astonished at my announcement, almost as if she’d known. I guess I hadn’t been as good at hiding my feelings as I’d thought. First my mother and now hers.
Hopefully her dad would be won over just as easily. I don’t see why not, we’d both taken each other’s measure long ago, what with us both being military men. And I believe we each have a mutual respect for the other.
I could’ve used a stiff drink before going to see my mother, but that shit wouldn’t help. She wasn’t going to be happy no matter what and there was no point in prolonging the inevitable.
I took out my phone and looked at the screen where I had a stolen picture of Lucia as my wallpaper. I’d taken it one night early on when she’d fallen asleep in the chair next to my bed. It was the first sappy thing I’d done since we met. To be followed by many more I’m sure.
She looked so young and innocent, so pure. Was she ready for this life? To have her every move under a microscope? To be constantly judged by people who would never take the time to get to know her? She’d better be, because the shit was gonna come at us hard and fast.
I plan to be beside her every step of the way, making sure no one gets to her. I’ll try my best to prepare her for when I have to leave, and with her dad being a serviceman that shouldn’t be too hard.
We’d talked about that before, but in more general terms. She had a pretty good hang of it, having spent most of her childhood waiting for her dad to come home. But she’s never lived in this house, never had to deal with all that being my wife would entail.
I couldn’t help remembering that other young girl who’d been so desperate, who’d been the subject of such hatred that she’d seen no other way but to end it. I ran my finger lovingly over my baby’s face as I made a silent promise to protect her, to keep her safe from the people I’d once called friends.
Who knows, maybe it won’t be as bad as all that. If I have my way, it won’t be. I will not allow it to be. Her parents love her, that’s obvious, so it’s not like she won’t have anyone.
And you’re making way too much of this Ethan. No one would dare fuck with what’s yours. Besides, she’s tough, I don’t see her taking shit from anyone, least of all any of the snobs in this town.
I should probably be more worried about what she’d do to them if they got in her damn face. That last thought made me grin and the remaining bit of worry evaporated as I went in search of my dear mother.
9
I found her in her dressing room sipping tea as if she hadn’t a care in the world. The woman I’d just fired was still lingering, so I knew which way the wind blew. Too bad for both of them I was the one directing the storm. “I thought I told you to get out.” I walked casually into the room and took a seat not even looking at her.
“Don’t be crass Ethan dear, of course Jill doesn’t have to leave. Now what’s all this about?” And that’s how she’s always done it. That smooth unaffected act while she ran over whoever or whatever was in her way. Too bad it wasn’t gonna work for her this time. I took a page from her book and played it cool; for now.
“Mom, I know you’re accustomed to having your way in everything, including my life, and I’m partly to blame for that. But trust me, you do not want to fight me on this.” I turned my attention back to the Jill person who was standing like a
sentinel at mom’s side. “You, leave, now.” There was no mistaking the intent in my voice.
She wasn’t brave enough to withstand the look of anger I gave her and mom was too shocked to say a word. “How dare you. Since when do you direct my staff?” I ignored her long enough to watch the other woman gather her things before turning my attention back to her.
“Since they work in my house. If you want to hold onto your little henchman, then you can move into the apartment in town, or any of the other residences we own in the four corners of the earth.” She took umbrage to that I saw, and opened her mouth to speak, but I was in no mood.
“You had no right, and only yourself to blame for her termination.” She didn’t need me to explain. She knew damn good and well what I was talking about. Now I let her see some of the anger that I was barely keeping in check. Had she not been my mother this would be much worse. But as bad as she is, I have to give her a chance.
“See here Ethan, I will not be spoken to in that manner…”
“And I will not have you meddling in my personal life, that ends here and now. Why did you send her to threaten Lucia and her family?” I guess my anger wasn’t in the mood to be brushed aside. Not when it comes to Lucia.
“Oh I see. Helen just called and informed me of this madness. Typical man, you’re just like your father. Only he had the good sense to keep his filth away from the family. If you want to have a fling with the little urchin, then by all means, do. Helen has agreed to look the other way. But if you think that I will let you sully the Sullivan name by marrying her, you’re sadly mistaken.” She could’ve been discussing paint for the fucking walls.
I think this was the first time I gave serious thought to my mother’s mental state. Had I really been this blind all my life not to see it? Had she always been this way? I knew the answer to that and my own guilt kept me silent. I’d let this go on. Even those times I knew she was wrong in so many ways I never stepped in and put a stop to her tyranny.
When Worlds Collide Page 5