Forever Love

by Chelsea Landon

  Three seconds. He’s at the ten yard line.

  Two seconds. He’s at the five, jumps over a lineman.

  One. He’s mid-air hurdling over players, the ball tucked in tightly in his arm.

  Zero. He lands with three guys on top of him. In the end zone.

  We won. 47-34.

  Canby High School is state champions for the first time in twenty-two years.

  History played. History made.

  Maybe we’ll play together again. Maybe even after college but right now, it’s never going to feel like this again. The field is swarmed but the three of us remain on the field, alone, for about ten seconds. Ten long seconds when we wonder if this is what forever might feel like.

  After being interviewed a few times, the team takes the bus back to the high school. It’s important that we go as a team and return as one. It’s loud, really fucking loud and everyone is all smiles and joking without a care in the world. They’re making plans, living it up because they know too, this high, this amazing feeling of being superior, won’t last forever, even if we want to believe it will. We all know that in a few months we will all be going our own ways, so we have to make the most out of every moment that we can.

  “I can’t believe you’re going to be on the cover of Sports Illustrated!” Landon says over the seat.

  I laugh. It’s hard to get too amped about it as I don’t know if it’s for sure. They took my picture and did the interview but you just never know about those things.

  I watch Landon. He can’t sit still. He’s jumping around, laughing at jokes that aren’t funny but you can’t stop us. We’re on that high. Steven’s beside me, he keeps elbowing me as he turns around to say something else to Landon about a play, or touchdown he made. They’re replaying the game but only one moment in that game really stands out for me.

  Those ten seconds when I was on the field with them alone.

  I glance at coach again, he’s smiling and laughing right along with Landon and Steven who are teasing him now and dumping Gatorade on him. On the bus.

  Yeah, he’s going to remember us.

  When we’re back at the school, we shuffle into the locker room long enough to unload our equipment and then we’re outside being greeted by most of Canby. The rain hasn’t let up but that’s not stopping anyone. I throw on a hoodie as I’m stepping outside. The cold rain slaps at my face only it’s colder now than it was on the field as the adrenaline starts to wear off slightly.

  Madison jumps into my arms when she spots me, her legs wrapping around my waist. I bury my face in her neck, her moist skin wetting my lips. She tastes like winter, cool and crisp, fresh, like she’s been standing in the rain for hours cheering her boy on.

  “I can’t believe it!” she squeals in my ear.

  Maybe it’s the adrenaline, the high from the game and what tonight’s win means for this school, but my mind is no longer on those details. It’s on this girl and tonight, right now.

  I set Madison down and kiss her forehead. I can’t stop there so my mouth goes lower, her nose, her cheek, and then her lips. She whimpers, just slightly when my tongue finds hers. It’s not a tender kiss. It’s one of desire and need.

  It’s insight into what the night holds for us.

  I’m showing her what I’ll be doing later.

  Steven bumps me from behind with Alexa on his back. “Come on, let’s party when we get there!” He’s anxious to celebrate and I don’t blame him. I am too.

  Madison lets go of me and starts to walk away putting her hoodie over her head. Lowering my hat a little, I watch her walking away and pat the pocket of my jacket to make sure the ring is in there.

  “Can you fucking believe we won?” Landon shakes me whirling around in my face, his palms framing my face in excitement, the movement causing him to drop the celebration in his hand. A joint. He leans down and picks it up from the wet pavement. “Ah, damn it,” he looks over his shoulder. “Hey Madison, you got another?”

  Madison is walking ahead of us towards Steven’s car, Macy beside her now. She doesn’t turn around but she holds it up in the air for him to see, her hoodie up over her head.

  Smiling at Landon, we start walking towards the car too. We’re all heading out to Steven’s parent’s house on Cannon Beach. It’s the same house we’ve spent nearly every summer at for the last five years. It’s where I first kissed Madison and where I took her virginity in the car outside the house. It holds a lot of memories for us and it’s about to hold one more.

  Just as I take a step toward the car, my dad finds me, his hand clasped over my shoulder. “Come on, son, let’s head home.” He means it by the look on his face.

  It pisses me off that he tries to control me now.

  “I’m going with my friends.” I say moving away from him.

  My dad looks at me, and then my friends. “You need to come home.”

  No way he’s fucking with my plans tonight. He knows what I’m doing tonight. He saw the ring a few days ago.

  “Not tonight, Cash.”

  I walk away.

  He doesn’t stop me.

  Fuck him and the life he thinks I should have.

  I never look back.

  Inside the car, Madison and I sit in the back. Steven’s in the car already, it’s running and he’s searching his playlist for something to listen to, talking about as fast as he usually drives.

  At first Madison and I don’t bother with seatbelts. No, my hands are way too busy and I need the room. I’m practically on top of her like the horny teenager I am right then. I’ll be amazed if we make it there before we have sex. It wouldn’t be the first time we had sex in a car with other people in it. I want it now and I know she does. I’m on the floorboards, she’s on the seat when we hit the freeway. Her legs are spread and I’m between them tugging her to the edge of the seat so she can feel just how badly I want her. She comes forward letting out a whimper sliding down my dick through my jeans. It feels so fucking good I almost forget there’s a car full of people. Her breath is hot and heavy scorching my skin. It’s taking all my willpower not to unzip my pants. I start to pant, looking over my shoulder to see if anyone is watching.

  Would they really know?

  No.

  I’m thinking about it.

  The music’s blaring, Landon’s making out with Macy, yeah, they’d never know.

  My dick throbs for some sort of relief as Madison wiggles against me again. The friction she creates sends a jolt through my body and I’m weak.

  I throw my head back slightly, my hat pulled down low enough that no one can see my face, even Madison. It’s only shadows in this car, the only illumination coming from the oncoming vehicles and the dashboard.

  Landon laughs, noticing what’s happening and hangs over the middle seat to smack the back of my head. His shirt is gone now, no surprise, his pants unbuttoned. “You two gonna start fuckin’, or what?”

  I shove him back over the seat when Madison straightens up in the seat reaching for the six pack beside her. There’s laughter all around us as Steven tells us all to get our seatbelts on. We do.

  We’re on the road all of twenty minutes when Landon opens his third beer, Madison’s on her fourth. I’ve had one but I’m waiting. I don’t want to be drunk when I propose but I also don’t want her to be either. I take the beer from her and set it in the cup holder. “Slow down, baby.” I say in her ear because the music is too loud. It’s thumping in my chest, feeding the adrenaline still coursing through me.

  She smiles and lets me take it from her.

  My plan is to drag her out to the beach when we get there and propose under the stars. Well not under the stars because of the rain but she’ll appreciate the gesture despite that.

  Madison reaches in her purse and pulls out a joint, lighting it. She smokes. Has for a while. I don’t mind and during the off season, I do too.

  Sometimes. It can be relaxing.

  Landon looks back when the smoke drifts around him, peeling his fa
ce from Macy’s long enough to reach for the joint Madison hands him.

  “Put your clothes back on!” Macy tells him, shoving his shoulder.

  Landon laughs and grabs his flannel but doesn’t button it. “I’ll be takin’ yours off soon.”

  December 5, 2010

  It’s just after two in the morning, and we’re on Sunset Highway just outside Buxton, Oregon. Madison didn’t listen when I asked her to slow down. She slowed down for a while but there’s no stopping her. She’s so drunk she can barely keep her eyes open but she’s laughing at Landon who’s standing on the console to hang out the sunroof. The same place I just got her down from. I don’t know why these two are so crazy at times but I know it has to do with them not being able to wait until we get to the beach house.

  Madison falls against my chest, her seatbelt’s off, but she’s telling me she’s putting it back on. I make her swear and I whisper what I’m going to do to make her put it on. My hand is between her legs, I’m showing her alright. When she’s still laughing, I push my hand down the front of her jeans to find the wetness I’m craving.

  Oh yeah, I’m fucking showing her.

  “Landon, get back in the car!” Macy grabs his flannel shirt tugging on it, begging and pleading with her wild boy. There’s no stopping him, he’s dancing around to the music and knocking into Steven. He leans down and grabs the joint from Madison. Headlights shine with an oncoming car, so bright reflecting off of the damp roads that it blinds us all. Madison kisses me and then jumps over the middle seat to hang out of the sunroof with Landon.

  I’m nervous. I don’t like what could happen with them up there. Neither one of them are thinking right now. Someone needs to be in control here because they most certainly are not.

  “Grab her.” I tell Macy. She shrugs and tries but I know it’s not easy when they’re like this.

  Steven glances up and bumps Madison’s leg. “Get down, Mad.”

  Unbuckling my seatbelt I lean over the center seat. “Madison!” I try to reach for her but my hand hits her foot.

  “Landon, get down!” Alexa yanks on his jeans. “You’re gonna get hurt up there.” He looks up and sees the car coming and tries to get down. I can’t see what’s happening in the front seat but I hear Steven yell when Madison falls into his shoulder.

  Madison moves back on Macy’s lap, laughing, her arms wrapped around her neck. Macy laughs too but I can tell she’s just as nervous as I am.

  “Landon, get it! It’s burning my back!” Steven yells, the car swerves into the oncoming lane when Landon falls down on Steven and then onto Macy’s lap in the second row seats.

  The blow happens so sudden, so loud that everything stops. Instantly.

  It’s loud, metal on metal and then glass and screams.

  Then nothing but heavy breathing.

  Dead silence.

  When I open my eyes, I blink and breathe trying to decide what hurts more, my head or my chest from my heart beating so fast.

  Shit. We were in an accident. I look up to see Madison against the back of Alexa’s seat, shattered glass sprayed all over her back. Swallowing, my chest constricting as I try to breathe, I look around. My lap is covered in shards of glass from the back windows. I dust a few pieces off only to see blood in the wake where I’ve ripped open the skin on my hands.

  I reach over the seat and touch the back of Macy’s head. She moans and it’s a relief. She’s fine.

  Madison isn’t.

  Please baby, move.

  I’m afraid to speak. My voice hasn’t been found. Clearing my throat, I try. “Mad…”

  She says nothing. She doesn’t move.

  I shake her. “Madison?”

  She starts crying as her body jolts. “Cash?” and then she moves, her arms bracing herself as she moves from the floorboards.

  Thank God.

  I breathe a slight sigh of relief when she can move and sits up straighter, wincing but she is mobile. Landon’s door opening brings my attention to him. It creaks, glass crunching under his feet as he moves around. He picks Macy up out of her seat and carries her to the side of the road. She’s sobbing and holding her hand gingerly to her chest. It’s clear it’s broken by the way it’s twisted and her nose hasn’t escaped damage either. She’ll have two black eyes with the way her nose has been broken as well. Her face must have hit the back of Madison’s head.

  When he has Macy on the ground, Landon takes his shirt off and wads it up handing it to her. She immediately places it over her face.

  I rub Madison’s back. “Baby, can you get out?”

  Madison moves, nodding, and then gets out of the open door. I do the same climbing over the second row seat through more glass, we get out and see that Steven can’t move. He’s trapped, his head is rested against the steering wheel, the airbag flattened out.

  “Fuck!” I curse shaking my head because the sight of him is almost too much, my shoes sliding in some liquid dripping out from under the engine as I slowly step around the vehicles.

  It’s a punch to the fucking gut knowing he can’t get out.

  If that’s not enough, the man on the hood of Steven’s SUV, the one who was inside the truck we hit, is clearly dead. His head is smashed against the windshield, blood seeping down the damaged hood and all I can think about as I stare is how slow the blood is moving and it reminds me of that saying “moving as slow as molasses in winter” and it’s with this realization that I know I must be in shock.

  Alexa screams when Landon gets her out, she’s fighting him and runs around to the driver’s side of the car to where Steven is. Her arms flail, resisting, fighting and begging.

  I look at Madison, blood is pouring from a gash along her scalp, she’s vomiting in the ditch as Macy holds her up on the side of the road near a tree.

  Stumbling, I sit down on the pavement, trying to catch my breath. There’s blood everywhere, coming from everyone, my hands and face too but I can’t move for a moment.

  And another.

  The world stops.

  Do something.

  Move.

  Landon moves away from Macy, blood pouring from his arms and mouth where he has an obvious gash on his lips. He leans over, his hands on his knees as he vomits, the cell phone in his hand falls to the ground at his feet. Macy reaches for it and calls 911.

  Alexa’s screams draw my attention, crying hysterically, screaming at me and Landon. “Save him! Do something! Save him!”

  I stand and approach them but there’s nothing we can do. He’s dying. When I look closer, I see an open wound on his side where the door indented and punctured his ribs and who knows what else. His legs are trapped, blood pouring from them. It’s spilling from the edge of the doorframe and onto the road.

  I try though. I take my hoodie off, then my t-shirt and try to get them both against his side. When I lift his shirt I know there’s not a chance in hell this is going to work. The metal from the door has punctured his side, his kidneys, his spleen and more than likely his lungs too. It’s deep. I take my shirt and press it against the side, he winces in pain. “I’m sorry man, I’m so fucking sorry.”

  He says nothing, I don’t think he can actually speak. With a little effort, I get my sweatshirt in there too hanging inside the car trying to compress the wound. The skin on my arms and chest tears when the glass from the driver’s side window scratches against it. I feel nothing.

  Macy starts yelling out orders the 911 dispatcher is telling her, but I’m already doing everything they’re telling her to do.

  Steven gasps for a remnant of air, then another.

  Fighting for one more after that.

  It rocks me.

  Alexa’s eyes snap to mine and my chest tightens.

  Nothing happens.

  “I’m trying, Alexa, but I don’t think this is going to work. I’m trying!” I try to pull her to me and shield her but she wants no part of it and twists away from me grabbing at Steven’s left hand.

  “You lied to me, Steven Griffi
n.” She sobs into his hand she’s holding, kissing it and then holding it against her lips. “You lied to me! You said we’d always be together.”

  Landon looks up when he hears Steven moan, trying to speak. “No…I…didn’t.” It’s clear he can barely get the words out. His voice is strained and harsh quick breaths escape me knowing what’s happening. “I… be… with you… forever.” With a rattle to his voice, his shaking left hand moves from hers and rests over her heart.

  “Please, Steven! Don’t leave me!”

  It hurts to watch. We can hear the sirens in the background, they’re faint but on their way. It’s not going to be enough time.

  “I don’t have a choice, baby.” His eyes flutter closed, blood takes away the brown. “I know I was loved by you… Alexa Ann…” he chokes on a breath, blood pouring from his mouth now. “By you…” He coughs and blood spatters the steering wheel. It sends Alexa into another round of hysteria, clutching at me, almost as if she still needs me to try and save him.

  I want to save him.

  I need to.

  I look at him and squeeze my eyes shut still holding my shirts to his side.

  She’s begging me.

  He’s dying and she’s begging.

  A minute passes.

  And another.

  Hold on. Please just fucking hold on.

  Three.

  I look at the guy on the hood. It’s sickening. It makes my heart pound.

  Four.

  Five.

  “Where are the police? Where are the fucking police?!” Alexa screams looking to me and then Landon. They narrow on him, accusing, angry. “Landon, do something!” Landon’s head snaps up when Alexa screams at him.

  He doesn’t say anything but he nods to Macy who’s still on the phone with them. She has one arm around Madison, the other holding the phone pressed against her ear.

  I turn back to Steven and Alexa, my head turning slowly, my head pounding in my ears.

  You can see it then, his eyes lose their luster, light slowly ebbing from his eyes as he finally stops coughing and stops breathing.