I didn’t argue the point.
“I will not help you.” Renee stated so softly I could barely hear her, despite the strange acoustics of the room. “You should go.”
“And what of our son?” I replied darkly, feeling like a bastard for using our child as an argument against her. I knew it was wrong and I knew it was unfair, but I did it anyway. “What will happen when Victor comes for him? And you know he will.”
“Victor will not come for Ethan,” Renee snapped, her eyes flaring in rage. I flinched as I heard my son’s name for the first time. “Ethan is not a mage.”
“Not yet,” I interjected, but I was cut off.
“Not ever!” Renee snarled.
“You can’t control that,” I replied firmly. “You know it will happen. It is simply a matter of time, given his parentage.”
“Then I will take him and I will run!” Renee hissed. “I will run as far and for as long as I have to. No one is going to take my son.”
“So that’s your answer,” I muttered with distaste. “You will raise him to live in fear, scared of who he is.”
“Better that than to become like his father,” Renee hissed.
“I don’t want that either.” I sighed. “I never wanted that.”
“I wish you had never come back,” Renee snarled with tears in her eyes. “I wish you had stayed dead.”
She fled the room. I let her go.
* * * * * *
“Well, that didn’t go very well,” I murmured softly as I walked back out into the courtyard.
“What did you expect?” May snapped. She hadn’t made a point of it, but I knew that she had been listening. “Did you just think you could waltz in here like nothing had happened?”
“No.” I sighed. “I don’t think I knew what I was expecting.”
May looked at me for a long time as she pondered her next words. I could see it in her eyes, the recrimination, and the accusation. She had spent a lifetime hating me, and for the first time ever she was struggling with sympathy for me. I didn’t care for her sympathy either, but at least, unlike Renee, May was better at hiding it.
“Come on.” May exhaled. “I’ll get you some food.”
May led me around the side of the building and in through what was obviously a kitchen door. Like the lounge room, the kitchen was modern and fully stocked.
“We do our own farming here mostly,” May informed me. “Although we do trade for goods with the town from time to time. The war hasn’t reached here yet.”
“I doubt that it will,” I murmured. “Both sides seem pretty devastated.”
“Since when has that ever mattered?” May said. “An American counter-attack is coming, you know it, I know it. They will spread back through Europe in an attempt to end the war. New alliances will be formed and the war will continue.”
I couldn’t argue with her, it was inevitable. “At least the involvement of our kind is over.”
May almost scoffed. “The damage is already done.”
“So what are you saying? That it’s game over? Human race done for?”
“No,” May replied. “It’ll take more than that to wipe out the human race, but I think maybe we’re looking at another dark age.”
“Maybe that’s a good thing.” I chuckled. “A fresh start.”
May looked at me with a strange expression. “You might be right.”
May offered me a soup, made from vegetables from their garden. I hadn’t eaten anything in days and it smelled delicious. She directed me towards a small table on the far side of the kitchen that overlooked the same view I had seen from the lounge room.
“Are you safe here?” I asked between mouthfuls. “I mean, from our kind.”
“There are five mages here,” May replied. “We’re as safe as we can be.”
“Does Victor know of this place?”
“Yes.” May sighed softly. “He leaves us alone.”
“He’s waiting.”
“I know.”
“When the child’s power awakens…”
“I know,” May repeated angrily. “Renee knows it too.”
“Then what?” Again May cut me off. “What would you have us do? I’ve fought Victor, I almost died fighting Victor. I know what he’s like, he’s simply too powerful. He knows I’m here and leaves me alone. He won’t kill me, he had the opportunity and didn’t take it. What would you have me do? What can we do? If I were to try something, I’d get us all killed.”
I didn’t have an answer to that. In their shoes I didn’t blame them. They must assumed that while they remained hidden and not participate in the war they were safe from Victor, and they were probably right. Victor was only actively hunting down combatants, but that wasn’t the only danger here.
Once my son became a mage, Victor would return for him. He wouldn’t be able to help himself. My son had the potential to be amongst the most powerful mages alive today, and Victor wouldn’t allow a threat like that to survive. He would either twist him and subvert him or he would kill him if he couldn’t control him. If my son was anything like Renee or myself, I doubted that he would be easily controlled. That thought sent chills down my spine.
“I’ve arranged a room for you,” May stated when we had finished eating.
“Why?”
“Renee asked me to.”
“You said you didn’t tell her I was alive after we met in Scotland?”
“I didn’t have to,” May replied softly. “She already knew. She’s had a room prepared for you for years.”
It was similar the rest of the house, modern and functional. I didn’t know where Renee was within the house, but I could feel her presence and with that feeling came a warning to leave her alone.
I glanced around the room; for all its nicety it had the feeling of a jail cell. Functional bed, side table, no furnishings, no artwork or pictures – this wasn’t someone’s room. It was a room used for strangers. It was perfectly pleasant, but after my living conditions for the past six years it was simply unpleasant. Fortunately there was a doorway on the far side of the room that led out onto a shared balcony. There was a table and chairs set up on the balcony that looked over the savannah. The stars were particularly bright tonight. A polite cough brought my attention away from the stars and back down to earth.
“Master Wills,” a male voice interjected. “Someone wanted to say hello.”
With my heart in my throat, I turned around to face the newcomers. There were two of them: a tall man and a small boy. At first a shot of terror overtook me until I realised I recognised the boy. Justin.
“Won’t you join me?” I offered as I gestured towards the other end of the table. Justin immediately leapt forward and pulled up a seat, but his companion remained standing. I smiled grimly as I recognised a defensive pattern in the man’s shoulders. The Mana was warning him to be careful, sensing a threat. His Mana was wise to consider me a threat.
“Master Devon!” Justin interjected. “May said you wouldn’t be coming back, but I knew she was wrong!”
Great, it seemed that everyone could predict my actions, even a twelve-year-old boy. That wasn’t going to bode well for my ability to outwit my enemies.
“Aren’t you clever?” I smirked back at the boy with a smile. The guard immediately relaxed as the boy beamed back at me. There was no threat here, no matter what the Mana was telling him.
“How are your studies going?” I enquired as the boy’s guard finally took a seat.
“They’re going very well, sir!” Justin said. “Master Lehrer is a very good teacher.”
Really? He could hardly be a worse teacher than me. Justin continued on about his studies and how his new master was teaching him to read properly. The boy was talking so much that Lehrer and I had to talk in between his breaths.
“How did you come to take on his training?” I interjected between the boy’s sentences.
“Mistress Chen asked me to. She felt she would be distracted from security in case any others
of our kind should happen upon us.”
“Has that ever happened?”
“Once or twice,” Lehrer said non-committedly. “Mistress Chen is quite formidable.”
I nodded. Justin was still talking, heatedly describing basic Mana principles that I had mastered years ago.
“The boy is actually quite talented,” Lehrer stated, changing the topic. “Naturally adept. He will be quite powerful one day.”
“Well, that’s just great.” I smiled dryly. “If there’s one thing this world needs, it’s more master mages.”
“I must say, it is a pleasure to finally meet you again,” Lehrer continued, ignoring my sarcasm.
“I’m sorry, I don’t believe we’ve met,” I murmured as my mind went into overdrive, attempting to remember where I had met this man. He didn’t seem familiar. He was young, looked to be in his early twenties or so.
“It was a long time ago,” Lehrer continued. “I don’t blame you for forgetting, it was from before the war. We were presented together at the Occursus in Singapore. I was Master Morrigan’s apprentice.”
The Occursus in Singapore - that seemed like a life time ago, but it was only about eight or so years ago. It seemed like much more, it seemed like a lifetime, someone else’s life. I had thought I had understood everything there was to know about being damaged and death and destruction, but I was just a boy. I had no idea of the horrors yet to come. I remembered that day well, I often dwelt upon it. I had taken vows that bound myself to the order of mages. I’d broken those vows. I’d cast them aside and blatantly ignored them. I thought I had known better. I was wrong. If I could do it all again, hell, I’d probably have done the same thing. I remember that night well: I was preoccupied at the time, but I did vaguely remember a small boy, about the same age as Justin was now, being presented to the Primea at the same time. This man could have been that boy.
“My apologies,” I waved him off. “I should have remembered.”
“That’s quite all right.” Lehrer smiled. “My master said he was quite impressed with you at the time.”
“Impressed with me? How?” I prompted, curious.
“To be chosen by Master Whittlesea as an apprentice was quite the honour, and then to stand up against him in public even more so. He thought you a rare breed.”
I smirked. “Looks can be deceiving.”
“Indeed,” Lehrer continued. “I doubt my master would have said such things if he had have known what was coming.”
“No,” I agreed readily. Where the hell was he going with this? Was he trying to stir up trouble? If so I wasn’t going to bite.
“My master never much cared for Master Whittlesea,” Lehrer continued, unaware of my internal concerns.
“Then he must have followed Master Devereaux.”
“Actually, no.” Lehrer smiled. “He cared for neither. He chose to exile himself when Devereaux took the Primeaship. An action that probably resulted in my survival.”
“And your master?”
Lehrir shook his head. “Sadly not with us. He chose to exile us to Oslo.”
I nodded sympathetically. Oslo wasn’t far enough from the fighting in central Europe. It would have been consumed in the fighting, or at least a mage would have attracted the attentions of enemy mages early in the war when it was a free for all.
“He died saving me. I escaped from the fighting and fled further south. I was still running when Master Tychus found me. He brought me here.”
“Then you have been fortunate,” I grunted.
“Really? I don’t feel fortunate,” Lehrer stated.
“More fortunate than some,” I muttered, unwilling to discuss this further and turning to face the boy, “So tell me, Justin, how powerful have you become?”
Justin smiled beatifically as if he had been waiting for just such a question. With a slight flex of his fingers he summoned a Mana thread and held it before him. He had improved noticeably. His construction was a little off, but I recognised enough of my own style in his work to see my influence. It was a well-constructed thread, but it wasn’t a masterfully built one. He still had much more to learn. However he had something that the rest of us probably didn’t. He had time.
* * * * * *
I slept soundly that night for what seemed like the first time in over half a decade. My slumber wasn’t interrupted by nightmares or dreams and lasted a full eight hours. I awoke with a start in the morning. I hadn’t meant to fall asleep. Someone had placed a blanket over me in the night. Someone had been in my room and I hadn’t awoken.
The presence of someone in my room should have triggered a threat warning in the Mana and woken me up. That was disconcerting; for a moment I lay in readiness in case a trap had been planted. But it wasn’t a trap, it was only a blanket - a red tartan blanket of all things. I didn’t belong in this place.
I ran my hand through my hair and stood up. The door was slightly open, but I had left it that way when I arrived. I slid out into the hall feeling better than I had in months and made my way carefully over to the kitchen.
May was in the kitchen preparing breakfast. She glanced over at me, her nose wrinkling in distaste.
“You should shower,” May called out.
Lehrer and Justin were eating something from a bowl. I quickly glanced around the kitchen but couldn’t see anyone else. Even though the place didn’t remind me of my own childhood in anyway shape or form it felt familiar enough. This was a family eating breakfast. I hadn’t experienced anything like this in so long. It almost hurt.
“She and Ethan are eating in her quarters,” May answered my unspoken question. “Congee?” May offered me a bowl.
“Yes, please,” I replied as I gripped the bowl. The scent of the food washed over me and I was immediately drawn back into the world before the war. Victor’s housemaid had made congee during my apprenticeship. I had eaten this dish often. It was nothing more than a salty porridge, but it was everything I needed right now. It was delicious.
“You’ve had it before?” May queried, noting my obvious enjoyment.
“Oh yes.” I eagerly passed my bowl back for more.
“Great.” May grinned as she ladled a second portion into my bowl. “I was serious about that shower - you smell like death. You’re stinking up my kitchen.”
That wiped the smile from my face. “Do you have a change of clothes?” I asked. It would be good to get out of my military uniform and into some regular clothes.
“In your size, probably not,” May murmured.
“Never mind, I’ll make some.” I smiled as I headed back to the door. “By the way, thanks for the blanket.”
“It wasn’t me,” May replied softly.
I made my way back upstairs. There was a bathroom with a shower unit across from my bedroom. A shower sounded like good idea right about now. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had a hot shower, maybe the aircraft carrier.
My uniform had seen better days; the Mana Nova Victor had hit me with in Poland had pretty much shredded the right hand side of my shirt, and there was enough collective stains and grime on the fabric to make a new uniform. I peeled my clothes off and rested them on the clean porcelain bench by the taps. They left a grimy mark on the pristine surface. On the far wall next to the door was a full length mirror. I let my gaze pass across my war-torn body, across the numerous scars and burns that marked my journey. I looked wrong, like I didn’t belong here. I was a creature of this war and I had been shaped by it. I inspected each mark on my body as if they were something foreign, from the burns on my ankle from Vin the night I had killed him, to the multitude of scars and burns that crisscrossed my body. I had become a weapon of war. I didn’t belong in this normal looking bathroom, with these normal looking towels hanging from the wall. This wasn’t my world and I had no right to intrude. I gazed at myself for a long while before I could shake the feeling that I was somewhere that I didn’t belong. The shower didn’t bring me much pleasure.
When I finished I put m
y old uniform back on. I could have easily created new garments, forming them from the Mana, but that didn’t seem right. They would have covered me like a lie and I would have smothered in the deception. No matter what else I was, I was a soldier. I should act like it.
When I emerged from the bathroom, May was waiting for me.
“Renee would like to see you,” she murmured as she gestured back towards the main lounge room.
Renee was standing in much the same position as she had been the last time we had met, with her back to me staring out over the savannah.
“I’m sorry I reacted so strongly yesterday.”
“It’s all right, I don’t blame you.” I shrugged.
“You are just so different than I remember you,” Renee said.
“I have become the thing you always feared I would become,” I prompted - her unspoken words.
Renee nodded quickly and wiped her eyes.
“I feel that way too,” I whispered softly.
“It’s my fault,” Renee said. “I should have explained, been more patient, done more. Maybe things could have been different.”
“No,” I gasped. All these years I had struggled with the recrimination that Renee would cast at me. I had never in a million years occurred to me that she would blame herself. Why would she? It wasn’t her fault. It was mine. I had made my choices. I had to live with them. However, in all my years I had never considered that other people had to live with my decisions too.
“I don’t think this could have turned out any differently,” I muttered. “I think it was fate.”
For a moment she looked at me and I saw the old Renee in her face. Her mouth twisted into a mocking grin that usually indicated I had said or done something stupid. It was only there for a flash before she covered her emotions, but I saw it and she knew I had seen it.
“I don’t believe in fate,” Renee murmured.
“I have lived through too many things that should have killed me to believe otherwise.”
“Devon,” Renee began hesitantly, “don’t you want to see your son?”
Mage Emergence Page 27