Yours To Keep

by Shannon Stacey

  “You’re not upset?” She looked into the older woman’s eyes and reluctantly recognized the truth. “You already knew.”

  “Of course I knew. Couples who’ve lived together for a year are comfortable with each other. There’s familiarity. I could tell as soon as I got off the plane you and Sean didn’t have that.”

  She’d known the entire time? “Why didn’t you say anything?”

  “Because I wanted to figure out what you were up to. And then, later, Mary and I decided you two needed a little more time to get to know each other, so we played along.”

  “Oh my God.” Emma covered her face with her hands. “Mrs. Kowalski knew you knew?”

  “I had to practically drag the truth out of her but, once she realized I already knew you two were lying, she gave up. I must confess, though, I was a little put out that you thought I’d fall for this.”

  “By the time I realized how really crazy it was, I was in too deep to back out. I know it sounds dumb, but I did it because I love you, Gram. I wanted you to let me go so you could enjoy being in Florida.”

  “I’ll never let you go. But maybe I did give you the impression I was worrying more about you than enjoying myself. But you also wanted the house.”

  Emma’s cheeks burned. “Of course I wanted the house. It’s my home. But I wanted you to sell it to me. I never expected you to just give it to me. You have to believe that.”

  Gram reached across the table and squeezed her hand. “I knew you wouldn’t take it. I told Mary and Russell both you wouldn’t accept it as a wedding gift without telling me the truth and I was right.”

  “If you’d said something, we wouldn’t have wasted the entire month playing games.”

  “Oh, I don’t think it was a waste,” Gram said, smiling. “I see Sean’s sleeping in this morning. Did you keep him up too late last night?”

  When the implication behind her grandmother’s words sunk in, Emma shook her head. “It’s not like that. We’re not…it’s not real.”

  “Well, it’s certainly not pretend.”

  “No.” Emma really didn’t want to have this conversation. “It’s like friends with benefits, Gram. Once he knows I told you the truth, he’s going to pack up his stuff and go.”

  “Maybe he won’t if you ask him to stay.”

  “Who says I want him to stay?” she asked, forcing a little attitude into her voice. Maybe if she could convince somebody else she didn’t care, she’d believe it herself.

  “I think we’ve had enough lies, Emma.”

  “We had a deal, Gram. Love wasn’t part of it.”

  “I’ve spent the last month living with you two and I’ve watched your relationship change. Don’t sell him short, honey.”

  She got up and rinsed her empty teacup, then walked over to kiss the top of Emma’s head. “I’m going to go have a nice bath and get dressed. I’m still going in to town and I’m still giving you the house.”

  “Gram, I—”

  “My mind is made up, Emma,” she said as she left the kitchen.

  Sean was whistling when he hit the kitchen, hunting for coffee, but he stopped when he saw Emma sitting at the table. Her nose was a little blotchy and her eyes still damp from a cry.

  “I told Gram the truth,” she said. “It’s over.”

  His lungs deflated in a rush, leaving behind an ache he hoped was a lack of oxygen and not the beginning of a heartache. That would be stupid, since it wasn’t like what they had was real. It was all pretend and he’d known the day would come he’d walk away from her without looking back.

  But he thought he had three and a half more days before he had to face that.

  “Are you okay?” he asked. She nodded, even though she didn’t look it. “How did she take it?”

  “You were right, that day we were working and you said you thought she was on to us. She knew all along.”

  That set him back a bit. “She knew?”

  “She said she suspected as soon as she saw us together in the airport because we didn’t look like a couple who’d…been intimate. And she and Mrs. Kowalski have been in cahoots since the first barbeque.”

  “I don’t understand. Why didn’t she say anything? And in cahoots with Aunt Mary to what?”

  “She didn’t say anything because she wanted to know what we were up to.” Her cheeks flushed and she looked down at the table. “And they were in cahoots to make us a real couple.”

  “Oh.” He really didn’t know what to say to that. “They thought we’d make a good couple?”

  “Crazy, huh?”

  That’s not the direction he’d been heading, but it was probably best she’d said it. It was crazy. They were so different. They were in different places in their lives and wanted different things.

  “Where’s Cat now?”

  “Taking a bath. Then she’s going to go into town and…” She had to stop because she was tearing up again, and then she took a deep, shuddering breath. “She’s going to talk to a lawyer about giving me the house.”

  “That’s good, then.”

  “That’s why I told her the truth. She was insisting on giving me the house as a wedding gift, so I had to tell her.”

  “But she already knew.”

  “And she knew I wouldn’t accept it based on a lie. She wanted me to tell her the truth.”

  Sean went and poured himself a cup of coffee, hoping the caffeine would help restore some of his equilibrium. Even though he’d been blindsided, this turn of events was a good thing for Emma. She could stop lying to her grandmother. Cat wouldn’t be selling the house out from under her. And, while Emma would still be single, maybe the shenanigans would be a wake-up call to Cat that she didn’t need to worry quite so much.

  “I’m happy for you,” he said, and he meant it. What he wasn’t sure was how he felt on his own behalf.

  She nodded, but she didn’t look as happy as he expected her to. With the house soon to be in her name and him soon to be out from under her feet, he was surprised she wasn’t dancing across the kitchen.

  He took a bracing sip of the coffee, not bothering with cream or sugar. “So…I guess that’s it, then.”

  She nodded again, her hands folded so tightly on the table her knuckles were pale. “I guess it is.”

  He started for the door, but then stopped and looked back at her. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  “I’m sure.” She even managed a wobbly smile. “Emotional shock, I guess. So much drama for…no reason. Telling her was terrifying and such a relief at the same time, so it’s probably just the letdown.”

  “Okay, then.” He took his coffee into her office and closed the door.

  It was over. He was free to go be his own man again, his life revolving around steak, football, beer and women. He could go back to his wild pluralizing ways, as she’d put it during their first dinner together.

  Before it could all settle in, he pulled out his phone and hit Kevin’s number on the speed dial. He answered on the second ring, sounding groggy, and Sean belatedly remembered that, due to owning a sports bar, Kevin and his family stayed up late and slept late in the morning.

  “Shit. I didn’t mean to wake you.” Sean scrubbed a hand over his face, realizing it was too early to be calling anybody. “Quick question and then you can go back to sleep. Can I still mooch that apartment?”

  “Uh-oh.”

  “Long story short, she told Cat the truth so my services are no longer needed.”

  “You okay?”

  He wasn’t sure yet. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

  “Okay. You still got the key?”

  “Yup.”

  “It’s yours, then. Head on down for a beer later, on the house. You know, when it’s not dark o’clock.”

  “The sun’s up, dude. But thanks.”

  It took him a depressingly short time to pack his stuff. A few minutes to empty his drawer. Less than two to grab his stuff out of the closet. It took him a little longer in the bathroom sorting his toiletr
ies from hers. He’d just retrieved the stash of condoms from the bedside drawer and tossed them in the duffel, because he’d be damned if he’d facilitate her sleeping with some other guy in the future, when Emma walked in.

  “I’ll be out of your way in a few minutes,” he told her. “Just have to gather up a few things downstairs.”

  “You don’t have to run out of here, Sean.”

  “No sense in hanging around,” he said, maybe a little more gruffly than he’d intended.

  “Oh. Okay, then. Gram wants me to go into town with her and she’s ready to go.”

  “I’ll leave the key in the mailbox when I leave. Don’t forget to grab it later.”

  “Sean.” He shoved a pile of socks into the bag. It was like ripping off a Band-Aid. A clean and fast exit was best for everybody. “Goddammit, Sean, it’s obvious you can’t wait to get out of here, but she wants to say goodbye to you before you go.”

  “What about her goodbye barbecue? Or am I uninvited?”

  “There’s no sense in dragging your family over here now. She’ll probably have lunch with your aunt or something.”

  She tossed something onto the bed and then turned and walked away before he could apologize. He was being a jerk and he couldn’t help it. If he showed any weakness and she gave him some indication she didn’t want him to go, he might stay and this isn’t where he’d wanted to end up.

  Sean shifted his bag so he could see what she’d tossed onto the bed. It was the small diamond ring he’d put on her finger a month ago when he asked her to marry him and, as the sun hit the stone, it winked at him. Feeling nothing but hollow, he closed his fingers around it, squeezing it in his fist. Then he tucked it into the front pocket of his jeans and took a deep breath.

  It was best for both of them if he shut Emma out and walked away. But first he had to get through a moment he’d been dreading.

  Cat was waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs. Emma was next to her, but she wouldn’t even look at him. He could tell by the way her jaw was set he’d pissed her off.

  “I’ll wait in the truck,” she said, and then she seemed to collect herself. She turned to face him and stuck out her hand. “Thanks, Sean.”

  A handshake? After all that, he was getting brushed off with a handshake? But he was the one who’d made it very clear to her none of what they had was real.

  He gripped her hand in his, running his thumb over hers. “I’ll see you around, Emma.”

  She nodded and pulled her hand back. Sean squeezed her fingers for a second, but he couldn’t hold on to her. Before he could say anything else, she walked out of the house.

  “You two are going to be stubborn about this, aren’t you?”

  Sean turned to Cat and chose to ignore her words. “I’m going to miss you. And I mean that.”

  “Even though Emma thinks a party isn’t a good idea now because it would be awkward, I’m sure I’ll see you again.”

  “Don’t know where I’m going from here. But you never know. Maybe I’ll drive down to Florida and crash one of your wild and crazy beach parties some day.”

  She opened her arms and he enveloped her in a hug. “You’re welcome to hang out under my beach umbrella anytime.”

  After extricating himself from her arms, he kissed her cheek. “Take care of yourself, Cat.”

  “And you…don’t be too stubborn.”

  She went out the door before he could ask her what that was supposed to mean. He heard the truck door close and then it was heading down the driveway.

  He stood there for a few minutes and then went into the kitchen. Over the last few months, he’d actually accumulated a few things and his belongings didn’t fit in the duffel anymore. He grabbed a trash bag because what the hell did he care, then scoured the downstairs, tossing in anything that belonged to him.

  Then he finished upstairs and there was nothing left but to get in his truck and drive away. But first he went into the bathroom and pulled the pad of sticky notes out of his pocket. He stuck a pink one to the mirror and pulled the cap off his Sharpie.

  And…nothing. What could he say? Something flip, like thanks for the good times, didn’t feel right. Maybe goodbye. Or why does it feel so shitty to be leaving right now?

  He stared at it a long time, then put the cap back on the marker and shoved it in his pocket. There was nothing left to say, so he grabbed his bags and walked out of Emma’s house.

  Cat and Mary met at their usual café, the mood pessimistic. The month certainly hadn’t ended like either of them had thought—and hoped—it would.

  “She was so cold to him before we left,” Cat said, “but about a half hour after we got home, I heard her crying. I peeked into her room and she was sitting on the floor with a sticky note in her hand, sobbing her heart out.”

  “Could you read what it said?”

  “That’s the thing—it was blank. Just a blank sticky note.”

  Mary frowned. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

  “I don’t know what the deal is with the sticky note, but I know she cares about him a whole lot more than she wanted him to know.”

  “Sean’s not answering his phone. I made Kevin go up and knock on his door. He said Sean wasn’t in a really sociable mood and we should just leave him alone for a few days.”

  Cat shook her head and put another sugar cube in her tea just to get the kick. “They’re both hard-headed. I’m afraid if they’re left alone for a few days, they won’t come around at all.”

  “When I talked to Lisa earlier, she gave me the impression you weren’t going to have your goodbye party since we’re not all going to be one big, happy family. Maybe you should.”

  “I hadn’t even thought about it yet. Emma’s knee-jerk reaction was to cancel it but, to be honest, even if she and Sean boycott, I still want to say goodbye to everybody.”

  “Sean won’t boycott.” She said it with the certainty of a woman who’d brook no argument from the men in her life.

  “Emma won’t, either.”

  “Maybe a little more time together, without the lies, is just what they need.”

  Cat smiled and took a sip of her tea. The bad part of the plan was the fact she’d have to say goodbye to Sean all over again. She wouldn’t look forward to that, considering how sad doing it the first time had made her. But it would be worth it if there was a chance of bringing him and Emma together, especially if it happened before she flew back to Florida.

  They talked about the party for a few minutes, but then Mary finished her tea and dug a few dollars out of her purse. “I hate to run, but I promised I’d watch Brianna this afternoon. Joe has a writing deadline and Keri has an editing deadline and the baby doesn’t really care about either one.”

  Once she was gone, Cat asked for a tea to go and walked down to the patch of grass that passed for a public park and pulled out her phone.

  “Walker Hardware.”

  Just hearing his voice brightened her day. “Hi, Russell. Are you busy?”

  “Nope. Already had my customer for the day. What’s up?”

  She told him the whole story, starting with Emma’s confession and ending with their intention to have the party as planned. “I hope you’ll still come. And Dani and Roger, too.”

  “We’ll be there. It sounds like you’ve had a big day. Do you want me to close up early?”

  He was such a good man. “No, but thank you for offering. I’m going to go home and see how Emma’s holding up. If I know my girl, she’ll have her everything’s okay mask in place by the time I get there. And she’ll be scrubbing the crisper drawer runners or reorganizing the junk drawer.”

  “I’ll be thinking of you, Cat. And call me later if you need somebody to talk to.”

  “I will.” She closed her cell phone and took a deep breath.

  They had two days to keep the kids on an even keel, and then they’d see how things went at the party. She had her fingers crossed forty-eight hours would be long enough for Sean and Emma to realize h
ow much they missed each other.

  Chapter Twenty

  Sean was going to crack. Or his steering wheel was going to crack if he didn’t loosen his grip on it.

  He was fourth in the caravan of Kowalski vehicles heading to the house with those stupid daisies painted on the mailbox to eat cheeseburgers and say goodbye to Cat. And it was a damn good thing he was alone in the truck because he needed the time to steady himself so he didn’t totally lose his shit in front of his entire family.

  It would be a final goodbye to Emma, too. Now that they didn’t have to pretend anymore, it should have been easy. A fun barbeque with friends and family. No deception. No trying to remember who was getting which story.

  But Sean was still pretending. He was pretending it didn’t bother him his fake engagement had come to an end.

  The rest of his life stretched before him and the time had come to figure out what he wanted to do with it, but he couldn’t see it. Every time he tried, he pictured Emma.

  All too soon, they were all pulling into the driveway and parking down the sides so nobody got blocked in. He could still make a break for it, he thought. Drive out across the lawn and back out onto the street.

  But he wouldn’t. He’d man up and see this hellish day through.

  Everybody was out back and he made his way through the crowd to say hello to Cat, and then Russell, Dani and Roger. Emma wasn’t in the yard and, when he looked toward the house, he saw her in the kitchen window. She was watching him and, in the seconds before she moved away, he saw that she looked as tired as he felt.

  The kids immediately went off to explore Emma’s yard, but there wasn’t much to hold their interest. Bobby had his Nerf football with him, though, so an impromptu game broke out.

  He watched Cat say something to Russell, who went over and fired up the grill. It was a stupid thing, really, but Sean had to look away. That had been his job when he was the man of the house and seeing Russell do it just brought it home it had all been a fraud.