Never Say Goodbye

by T. Renee Fike

  “Knock it off Chad, she’s here to set your idiot best friend straight. Where is he?” She demands.

  “And what could you possibly set me straight on?” Nathan says appearing out of thin air, looking unamused.

  “On why you hate me,” I say with less confidence than I’d hoped.

  It doesn’t matter how many times I see him, I can’t get over how breathtaking he is. He’s pure perfection minus his hatred towards me.

  “So enlighten me, why do I hate you?” he says in a mock tone. He’s leaning against the wall with his feet crossed at the ankles and his arms crossed at his chest showing his defined arms.

  I must say he looks even hotter when he’s pissed.

  “Can we discuss this in private?” I ask nervously.

  “No.” Nathan and Chad say simultaneously.

  “Seriously?” Brynn says, looking pissed at Chad.

  “Whatever you need to say you can say in front of these two. You’re just wasting your time anyway,” he says bitterly.

  “Why am I wasting my time? Can’t you see that your issue with me is ruining your best friend’s relationship?” I say angrily.

  “Their relationship has nothing to do with my disliking you.”

  “Are you kidding me? They fight because he defends you against me,” I yell.

  “He wouldn’t have to if you kept your sorry ass away,” he complains.

  “Excuse me?” I say with an evil glare.

  “Just leave. You’re nothing, but a stupid slut and I’m wasting my time even talking to you. I got better things to do, leave and don’t come back,” he says and then he’s gone.

  I just stand there with my mouth wide open, not believing the words he just said to me. I can feel my eyes fill up with tears, but I won’t shed them here.

  I look at Brynn whose mouth is hanging ajar too.

  “Brynn, you need to get her the fuck out of here now,” Chad says angrily.

  Brynn walks me out and I get halfway down the lane before the tears come out. How could he treat me so poorly, he doesn’t even know me anymore. He wouldn’t even let me explain how wrong he is.

  “Liv, I am so sorry, I never thought he would be so ignorant. I should have kicked him in his balls, but he just shocked the shit out of me, I was speechless,” she says solemnly.

  “I’m sorry B, I don’t want this to ruin your relationship. Maybe you should stop hanging out with me,” I say with wet eyes.

  “Absolutely not, you are my best friend. If he can’t get over this shit then fuck him, fuck both of them. Who needs them anyway?” she says harshly.

  “B, you do, you love him,” I remind her.

  “Not if he’s going to be so rude to you. He can fuck off, if that’s how he’s going to be,” she says with a smile.

  “I love you B, thank you,” I say with a half-smile.

  “No worries bestie. We are in this together…how’s that saying go…ho’s before bro’s? Wait...we aren’t ho’s, never mind you get the point. Girl code, we stick together,” she says making me laugh; we hug and continue on our short walk back to the sorority house.

  We get back to the house and I can’t help but want to curl up in my bed and cry, so that’s what I do. How dare he?!

  “No, get the fuck up, you aren’t crying over his stupid sorry ass. You aren’t a fucking slut, are you kidding me. I’m seriously going to rip his balls off and shove them down his throat. You do not let him cause you tears, he’s made you cry more than any guy I’ve known,” she yells ready to fight something, rather someone.

  “I know sorry. I’m just having a weak moment,” I say wiping my eyes.

  “Liv, you didn’t do anything wrong, he fucking moved states for Christ sake. You lost contact when you called, it happens, you were kids. He needs to get over his shit,” she continues on her bitch fest.

  “I know it just sucks because he won’t even hear me out,” I say dejectedly.

  “He has it in his mind of what happened. If he isn’t willing to listen, then this is going to be his regret, not yours. You tried. Now get the hell up, we are going out just you and me,” she says pulling on my arm.

  I start to laugh, “Okay, give me a few minutes to get cleaned up,” I tell her heading to the bathroom.

  I get out of the bathroom freshened up and walk in on Brynn lying things on the bed.

  “What are you doing?” I ask confused.

  “I said we are going out, here’s your outfit,” she says as she hands me a short denim skirt with a strapless red top and cute sandals.

  “Where are we going?” I ask because it’s starting to slowly get chilly at night.

  “Out, those fuckers want to act like children, we’ll show them,” she says evilly. Oh shit, she’s up to something.

  “What are you planning?” I ask nervously.

  “Harmless flirting with their friends,” she says joyfully. Oh hell, I don’t think this is going to end well.

  Brynn throws on a green dress that she totally rocks with gold heels. Always the diva!

  We walk to the party a few houses down. The place is busy, but has room to walk around.

  We get a drink, I choose water for now, but put it in a red cup so it looks like I’m drinking alcohol. This way, no one can bitch at me, except for Brynn, who has bitched numerous times already.

  I just have a feeling something’s going to get ugly tonight.

  We are at the party for about an hour before Chad says anything to us, well Brynn.

  “What are you doing here?” he asks looking irritated.

  “Partying, why baby?” she says in a cutesy voice.

  “Brynn, we talked, you need to get her out of here. If Nathan sees her, shits going to hit the fan,” he says looking directly at me.

  “He doesn’t own her or this party, so he can fuck off,” she yells, causing a few people around us to stare.

  “What the hell is wrong with you? I can’t even believe you are friends with someone like her,” he says disgusted.

  Before I can register what’s happening, Brynn slaps Chad right across the face.

  “What the fuck Brynn?” he bitches.

  “Don’t you dare say shit about her. You were fine with her before your douchebag friend tells you shit, and now you feel you can treat her like shit. I don’t think so. She’s never done anything to you or Nate,” she yells at him.

  “Whoa Chad, what’s going on? Why the fuck are you here?” he says looking annoyed at me.

  “Fuck you,” I snap back.

  “Not a chance sweetheart. I don’t touch skanky sluts who put themselves out there for anyone and everyone,” he says with an evil smirk.

  I see Brynn out of the corner of my eye go to slap him before I can, but Chad grabs a hold of her. Unfortunately for him, he can’t hold me back. I slap Nathan so hard across the face my hand stings. Now we have a larger audience watching our fight like it’s a damn soap opera.

  “You son of a bitch, you know nothing about me. Next time you want to call me names you better get your fucking facts straight,” I yell.

  He stands there and stares at me rubbing his jawline where I hit him, never saying a word, just piercing me with his hateful blue eyes.

  “No wonder your parents never had another child. Look at how you turned out. God help us all if there were more of you,” he says laughing, allowing the rest of the party-goers to join in.

  How dare him, he knew my parents tried and couldn’t have any more kids. How dare he say such a thing.

  I feel my eyes get blurry, but I will not cry, I keep telling myself.

  I look at the cup in my hand and throw it on him pissed that he would say such a hurtful thing, knowing damn well that wasn’t how it went.

  “Wow, got anything else?” he asks annoyed.

  “Go to hell, Nathan,” I say and walk past him out the door.

  I hope I don’t ever have to see him again, unfortunately I know that’s not likely, considering he’s in my Com class.

  Bryn
n walks home with me apologizing for the night, but telling me over and over how proud she is that I slapped him. Speaking of slapping him, my hand still stings.

  “Do you want a drink?” Brynn asks cautiously.

  “Damn right I do. I can’t believe I let you drag me to that party. I should have known better,” I say frustrated.

  “I’m sorry, I never thought it would get out of hand like that,” she says apologetically.

  “I know B, but now do you get it? He hates me. I want as far away from him as possible. He’s not the same sweet boy I grew up with,” I say with a sigh.

  “Yeah, I can see that. We will avoid him at all costs,” she says with a smile.

  “I hope you and Chad can work your shit out, you two are great together,” I tell her honestly.

  “I hope so too, but I guess we will just have to wait and see,” she says with a sad shrug.

  We spend the rest of the evening drinking and relaxing at the house.

  The weekend goes by faster than my liking and before I know it, I’m heading into my Com class. I can’t help repeating what Nathan said to me over and over again, and it makes me want to punch him again.

  As I’m sitting in class, I can’t help but glance in his direction. No matter how mad he makes me, he still looks hot as hell.

  Damn him.

  He must catch me staring because he looks right at me. He doesn’t look mad this time, though I’m sure that will change. He nods his head and then turns back to the professor.

  That was weird.

  The next week drags on. I feel like it’s never going to end. Brynn and Chad have been getting along, which I’m glad for. They truly are great for one another; as long as they stop fighting about Nathan and me.

  “Hey, do you want to come out with me tonight?” Brynn asks from the doorway.

  “Where are you going?”

  “I’m meeting Chad at The Cave,” she says with a smile.

  “Nah, that’s okay. I’m not in the mood to run into anyone there,” I say truthfully.

  “I pretty sure Nate’s not going to be there, I believe Chad said he’s on a date, thank God, that dumb bitch he was with before was annoying,” she says with a happy smile.

  “I’m just happy they broke up before we played that stupid truth or dare game, or I would have felt horrible,” I say, staring dagger’s at her.

  “I made sure they were broken up first so please, save it,” she says in a “shut the fuck up” tone.

  “Well you have fun tonight with lover boy,” I say with excitement.

  “Are you sure you don’t want to come along? It will be fun, I promise,” she says with pleading eyes.

  “I’m not in the mood, I’m just going to stay in tonight, sorry bestie,” I say, with a not a chance look.

  “You’re no fun,” she whines.

  I start to laugh, “Please, you are going to be all over your boyfriend and I’ll just be a third wheel. Sorry not interested.”

  “When have I ever made you feel like a third wheel?” she asks harshly.

  “I’m not saying you do, but that’s what it will feel like, plus Chad’s not a fan of me anymore. You don’t need to have a fight because I show up.”

  “He’s getting over it, trust me, it will be fine, now go get ready,” she demands.

  I start to laugh again, “I’m not going, not tonight. You have fun and if you need me I will be right here,” I say, as I prop my feet up on the edge of the couch and snuggle into the pillow behind my head.

  “Damn you, you suck, you know that right?”

  “I know but you love me anyway,” I say smiling.

  “Yes, I do. Well enjoy your boring Friday night. I’m off to have a blast!” she says as she whips her hair over her shoulder and heads towards the front door.

  “Have fun B, love you,” I say with a laugh.

  She laughs and then shuts the door on her way out.

  It’s going on a little after 1:00 a.m. when I’m awaken by my damn phone.

  “What?” I ask in a sleepy voice.

  “Liv, it’s mom, you need to get to the hospital now,” she says quickly.

  That wakes me up fast.

  “What?! Why?! What happened? What hospital?” I ask confused, because my parents aren’t even in the same state as me.

  “It’s Brynn honey, she was in an accident. Jill and Frank are with us, we are on our way now, they couldn’t get a flight out until morning, so we’re driving,” she says in a panicked voice.

  “Mom, is she okay?” I ask nervously.

  “Sweetie I’m not sure. The hospital called Jill and Frank and told them to get there ASAP, so that’s what we’re doing. She’s at UNC Memorial.”

  “Okay, mom I’m on my way, I’ll keep you posted once I find out something. Drive carefully, love you,” I say quickly as I throw on my sneakers.

  “Love you to Livie,” she says and hangs up.

  I race to grab my hoodie and keys and run out the door.

  It takes approximately ten minutes to get to the hospital. I park and race inside to find my best friend.

  I’m told to go to the admittance area and then told to head to the second floor and wait. I run as fast as I can, taking two steps at a time. My heart is racing, my mind is filled with worry.

  Please be okay Brynn, please.

  I get to the waiting area and see Chad with red, puffy eyes.

  “What happened? Where is she? Is she okay?” I ask frantically.

  “I don’t know, they haven’t told me anything. Liv, I’m sorry,” he says through watery eyes.

  “What happened?” I ask, trying to sound calmer than I am.

  “Shit. We got into a fight at the club,” he says sadly.

  “What? Why?” I yell.

  “It was stupid, it was over you and Wolffe. It shouldn’t have happened. She stormed out and I thought she was just going to get some fresh air. I never thought she would try to walk back.”

  “What do you mean, try to walk back? To campus?” I ask angrily.

  “I guess so, I went outside and couldn’t find her. I tried to call, but she wouldn’t answer. I got in my car and drove towards campus and that’s when I saw the accident,” he says sadly.

  “What happened?” I say slowly this time, waiting for him to tell me what he saw.

  “The officer’s told me she must have been walking on the side of the road and whatever asshole was driving was drunk, he didn’t see her and hit her. Liv, I don’t know what I’m going to do if she doesn’t make it,” he says through tears.

  I give my best friend’s boyfriend a hug and wonder the same thing.

  “She’s gonna pull through this, she has to,” I whisper through tears of my own.

  It feels like forever, but it’s only been twenty minutes when Sophie, Megan, and the whole sorority house fill the waiting room, asking for information. Unfortunately, we haven’t been told anything yet.

  “Come on, they have to tell us something,” Sophie complains.

  “I’ve went up to the desk four times already, they said someone will update us shortly.”

  A few of Chad’s friends come in, including Nathan. I’m glad his friends are here for him. We need as many people praying for her as we can get.

  Eventually, a doctor comes in to inform us that she’s in surgery and it may be a few hours, but he will keep us updating on her progress.

  Before I could ask how severe it is, Chad jumps in and asks. The doctor tells us it’s serious. She has head trauma from the impact from the hit.

  That’s all he tells us.

  Hours…that’s how long we’ve been sitting here waiting for something, anything.

  Around hour six, my parents along with Brynn’s parents show up.

  “Mom, dad, they haven’t told us anything other than she’s still in surgery and it’s serious,” I say as I hug them tightly.

  “We know baby, we called for updates. Frank’s going to see if he can find anything else out,” my dad says.


  The waiting room is still packed with friends waiting for information.

  I see Jill and she has tears running down her cheeks. She comes up and hugs me, “She has to be alright, she just has to be,” she says through tears.

  I don’t say anything because what can I say; instead I just hug her back.

  After waiting another hour, the room is getting smaller. Some of the girls go back to the house and are waiting for calls from us; others go to get food and coffee. I can’t eat or sleep, I need to make sure Brynn’s okay first.

  Sophie and Megan never leave my side. Sawyer comes and sits with Megan, and even Caden shows up to be there for Soph. I’m not surprised when Levi doesn’t show up. I never expected him to; even though it would have been nice.

  Chad keeps pacing the room and Nathan keeps telling him to try to relax, we don’t know anything yet. I know he feels like it’s his fault, but it’s not.

  “Liv, who is that with Chad?” my mom asks curiously.

  “Nathan,” I tell her.

  “What?” she shrieks, making everyone turn to look at her. Wow, that was weird.

  I just stare at her in confusion.

  “Yeah, he goes to school here too.” I say like it’s not a big deal. The look on her face says otherwise, though I don’t know why.

  She looks at my dad and then back to Nathan then to me, then back to my dad.

  What the hell was that for?

  I don’t get to ask because the doctor walks in to give an update. Everyone in the waiting room stands to hear what he has to say.

  “I’m so sorry, we did everything we could but we couldn’t get the bleeding to stop in her brain. I’m sorry. She went into cardiac arrest several times but we weren’t able to revive her after the third time,” the doctor informs us.

  I watch in horror as Jill falls into Frank’s arms bawling. The rest of the room is filled with sounds of sadness.

  I’m not prepared, I didn’t prepare for her not to make it. She can’t be dead. I also don’t prepare for when my legs give out and I fall to the floor with tears pouring from my face.

  My best friend…gone.

  Chapter Twenty

  I leave the hospital with my parents. Brynn’s parents are staying there for a bit, they want to see her body first. I don’t say anything, just cry. I can’t seem to stop crying. We get to my sorority house and I can’t move.