Rite of Revelation (Acceptance Book 2)

by Sarah Negovetich

  “Are you okay?”

  Thomas stares down at me when I open my eyes. He must think I’ve completely lost what was left of my mind.

  “Most likely not, but there’s nothing I can do about it.” I shift the Noteboard in my hand. Thomas and I aren’t exactly close, but Constance thinks he hung the moon. “Can I ask you a question?”

  “You can, but I can’t promise an answer.”

  Always so straightforward. Thomas wasn’t the answer I was looking for, but he might be exactly the help I need.

  “What would you do if Constance was really sick, and you had a way to help her, but if you did it, it could mean a lot of trouble for everyone else?”

  “It could mean trouble?” Thomas wipes his forehead with a handkerchief. “‘Cause the way I figure, if Constance dies it definitely would mean trouble and pain for me. So you’ve got the choice between something that could make trouble and something that would definitely make trouble. I’d say that ‘could’ is looking pretty favorable.”

  “Thanks, Thomas.” I reach up on tiptoes to kiss his spoiled cheek. “Constance is lucky to have such a wise husband.”

  “Do me a favor,” he says, walking away, “and remind her of that next time you see her.”

  I run off for the Pony Express office, reinvigorated by the decision to do something.

  I’m almost to the PE office before I hear Eric calling my name. He runs up to my side, but I don’t stop. “Don’t say a word. Not out in the open where others can hear.”

  We both practically sprint through the bakery, only giving Carol a cursory hello before taking the steps two at a time and locking the door behind us.

  Eric grabs my arm. “We both know the Doc can’t do anything for Ana without this medicine. We also know she might not last until the riders can get back from traveling all the way to the southern villages. That’s why I need to get what we need from the Territory.”

  “I know.”

  Eric opens his mouth and then shuts it again, tilting his head as if he’s seeing me for the first time. “What did you say?”

  “We don’t have time for theatrics if we’re going to save Ana.” I march to the desk and shove papers out of the way. “Come take a look at this map if you still want to go.”

  “Yes.”

  “I need to know one thing first.” I wait until I’m sure he’s completely listening. “This is the most dangerous stunt we’ve ever pulled. Bigger by far than escaping from the PIT. The likelihood you end up dead or leading the Cardinal right to us is higher than I’d like to admit. I want to know why you’re doing this.”

  “I need this.”

  I shove my finger into his chest. “What do you mean you need this? You need this to save Ana or you need to be the hero so Elizabeth and Daniel will stop looking at you like the village leper?”

  “Both.”

  I nod. Good enough for me. “I’m going to send Ethan with you. He’s our best rider and the most likely to keep you alive. But he has to wait outside the Territory border. Two of you will be too suspicious, so once you’re inside the city, you’ll be on your own. Ethan will get you there safely and make sure you aren’t followed in or out.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Don’t thank me yet. You might want to wait until you come back in one piece.” I grab a scrap of paper and scribble a quick note. “Do me a favor. Find Ethan, give him this, and tell him to rally all the riders for a meeting in the stables in thirty minutes.”

  Eric grabs my hand and squeezes tightly. It’s not a romantic gesture, but it feels more intimate than any of his gentle touches back in the PIT. For the first time, we are working in sync. “Ana is going to be fine. Ethan and I can get this medicine.”

  I squeeze his hand back. “You’d better. When you’re done talking to Ethan, go get some rest. You’ll leave at sunrise.”

  Eric takes off down the stairs. I stare at the door for a minute, my brain whirling with a nervous buzz in my head. If something happens to him, I’ll be the one responsible. I’m willing to risk his life to save Ana’s and I don’t even feel guilty about it.

  Two minutes later, the door to the office bangs open without so much as a cursory knock. Liam rushes in, his bloodshot eyes scanning the office as if danger lurks in every corner. Satisfied we’re alone, he collapses into Ana’s empty chair.

  “We’re going to lose her.” His head falls onto the desk and silent sobs wrack his torso. “She gets weaker by the hour. It’s going to take weeks for riders to get down to the southwest villages and back, and there’s no guarantee they’ll find the medicine she needs.”

  But less than half that time for Eric to get it. I just can’t tell Liam that I defied his order. Better to ask for forgiveness after we have the medicine and Ana is on the mend. “I’ve already got our plan in motion. These riders aren’t going to rest until we have what we need.”

  “It’ll be too little, too late.”

  “We don’t know that.”

  “I know it.” He sits up, pulls my hands together, and grips them so tight I almost fall over on top of him. “You have to send Eric to the Territories.”

  “But you said it’s too dangerous.”

  “I don’t care anymore.” The haunted expression on his face will haunt me until the day I die. “Going to the city is the only chance we have to save her.”

  “Then it’s a good thing I lied when I promised not to let him go.”

  Liam stands, his hands squeezing even tighter. He opens his mouth, but only more sobs escape.

  “Eric is delivering a message to Ethan right now that the two of them will go on a secret run to the Territory to our south first thing in the morning.”

  Liam pulls me into a hug so tight my ribs dig into my skin. “Thank you, Rebecca. I just…thank you.”

  I squeeze him back, the full reality of the situation smacking me in the face. I may have only known her for a month, but Ana is already a huge part of my life. She’s everything I’m trying to be, and I still need her here to help me be better, stronger. For Liam, she’s so much more.

  I pull back and nod, the lump in my throat making conversation impossible. Liam rushes out of the office, probably to sit at Ana’s bedside until someone forces him to eat or sleep. I’ll have to let someone else worry about him for now. There’s so much to do and it needs to happen before the riders can leave in the morning.

  Twenty-One

  I drop my plate on the table and slump onto the bench across from Daniel. I’m not the least bit hungry. I take a bite of baked potato anyway because I need to keep up my energy if I’m going to figure out a way to save Ana.

  “Where have you been all day?” Daniel asks between bites of his potato.

  How is it possible so much has changed since lunch and everything else just goes on? “It’s Ana. She sick, really sick.”

  “But Doc is taking care of her, right?” Constance leans across the table so she can hear better over the joyful noises of dinner. “Yesterday Eric told me she probably has a really bad flu.”

  I shake my head and set my fork down. “It isn’t the flu, and Doc is pretty much helpless right now.”

  Thomas wraps an arm around Constance while Patrice and Elizabeth stare off in their own worlds.

  “So now what?”

  “I’m coordinating every rider in town, along with a few volunteers. They leave tomorrow morning to hunt down some medicine that might save her. But it’s really rare. There’s a chance…”

  “Is Eric with Doc at Ana’s house? Neither of them were in the office all afternoon.” For all her insistence that she doesn’t care about any of us, Patrice actually looks concerned.

  “Doc is there now. Eric is at the stables.” I squeeze Daniel’s hand. “He’s one of the volunteer riders.”

  Patrice jumps up, leaving half a potato behind, and doesn’t say a word before dashing out of the room.

  “With that many riders out, they have to find the medicine, right?” Constance has tears in her eyes.


  “There are so many villages and we have no idea who might have the medicine or know where we can find some.” I push my plate away. “I’m basically guessing at where to send the riders.”

  “I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

  “And what if I don’t?” Daniel meant to be encouraging, but his words are empty. Everyone has so much faith in me, but can’t they see that I have no idea what I’m doing?

  “Hey.” Daniel waits until I look him in the eyes. “You have to stop being so hard on yourself. You can do this.”

  “No, seriously. When have any of my plans ever worked out?” The room is suddenly way too hot and loud. I have to get out of here before I lose my mind. I push away Daniel’s offered hug and follow Patrice’s path into the night air. Carol told me I’m allowed to be happy here. How in the world am I supposed to find happiness when I can’t help the people I care about the most?

  Strong Daniel arms wrap around me, but I push out of them. I don’t need comfort right now; I need someone to give me the answer.

  “Are we going to talk about what happened earlier today?”

  “What’s the point?” I grab the wooden railing and squeeze until my knuckles turn white. “The people we left in the PIT are dead and there’s nothing else I can do about it.”

  “Okay.” Daniel drags the word out like he’s trying to talk down an irrational toddler. “So tell me what it is that you want here, Rebecca?”

  “I don’t know what I want, okay? Here I am, free, something I never thought would really happen. And we have an amazing community that accepts us for who we are. And what could I possibly have to complain about? But those people died in there, alone and afraid. No one came rushing in to save them. We agreed to thirty days.” I pace across the porch of the dining hall, too much energy pulsing through my exhausted body. “Thirty days and we’d come up with a plan for how to get them out. But there was never a plan. There wasn’t even part of a plan. Instead I let myself get sucked into this life here with Ana and the others. And now Ana needs me and I’m just as useless to her as I was to all those people stuck back at the PIT. So what am I doing? What am I doing with my second chance?”

  “Living, Rebecca. That’s what you’re doing.” Daniel rubs his hands over his face in a move that’s become all too common lately. “You have to let go of this idea that you are responsible for saving the world. You already put your neck on the line to try to save everyone and almost got yourself killed. Isn’t that enough?”

  “Yes…no…how am I supposed to know? I mean, is it? Is it enough that I tried? Do I get a gold star on my citizenship chart because I gave a lot of thought to helping people?”

  “There’s nothing you could have done for those people.”

  “Are you sure about that? What if we had waited five more minutes?” I put my head in my hands and try to block out the sickening feeling in my stomach.

  “And then we all might be dead.”

  “Even if you’re right. Even if we couldn’t save them, I’m just supposed to forget about them? I used them, Daniel. I used them to make my stupid point and then just left them. I’m just like my mother, willing to walk over whoever I need in order to get my way.”

  “Rebecca.” Daniel takes my hands and folds them in his, halting my frantic pacing. “You didn’t use them. Those people came willingly, because they believed in the same things you do. I’d be willing to bet some of them felt more relief that day than they had in years. You gave them a voice and a chance to tell their own truth.”

  “And that’s enough?”

  “We got out, and I’m grateful every day. But that’s not what we thought would happen. I was ready to die that day.” He holds up a hand to stop my interruption. “And not because you asked me to, though I would do anything for you. I was willing to forfeit my life because it was the right thing to do. Because I believed in you, too.”

  “Doing the right thing doesn’t always make things right.”

  “No, but sometimes it does.” He wraps me up in his strong arms. “There are no guarantees in life, and imagine how boring it would be if there were.”

  “I just wish I didn’t feel so helpless.”

  “We all do, Rebecca.” He loosens his hold to look me in the eye. “Don’t you think I want to ride out tomorrow and get that medicine? Of course, I do. But we can’t save everyone.”

  “Do you really mean that? Would you really go on a ride?”

  “Of course.”

  A million ideas run through my head, but I need time to sort through them. “I need to get back to the office. There are still a few routes to plan.”

  “Rebecca, are you okay?”

  “Not really, but I will be.” I reach around for another hug. “Thank you.”

  “For what?”

  “For being here.” I squeeze my arms tighter and draw him as close to me as I can. “Sometimes it feels like I have the weight of everything on my head. But then there you are, reminding me with your presence that I’m not alone and I never have to be again.”

  “Never.” Daniel kisses the top of my head. “I promise.”

  “That’s good enough for me.”

  Twenty-Two

  The village is quiet this early in the morning, but it won’t be long before it’s filled with the sounds of a new day. Carol will get the ovens ready to bake a new batch of bread while breakfast is set out for the earliest risers. It’ll be just like any other day except every rider we have is out looking for the medicine that can save Ana’s life. They left over an hour ago, and now it’s our turn.

  “Are you sure you want to do this?” Daniel stands at the ready next to his horse at the edge of the village.

  I tighten the strap on my saddle and give the horse a soft pat on the neck. After staying up half the night to put together a strategy for our riders to hit the most villages, I would much rather be back in bed. But that doesn’t get us the medicine for Ana. “It makes sense. Arbor Glen is the only Freemen village to our east so another rider team would have to backtrack to Allmore before going to check the next village on their run.”

  Daniel steps away from his horse and wraps me in a hug. “That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

  “Of course I don’t want to do this. Alan treated us like hardened criminals the last time we were there.” I pull back so I can look Daniel in the eyes. “But I can’t just sit around here and wait for the riders to get back. I need this to keep my mind off Ana getting sicker and Eric and Ethan walking into disaster in the Territories.”

  “Then we go.” Daniel kisses my forehead and helps me onto my horse. “Ready?”

  I give my pack a final check, then turn back to Daniel and nod.

  “Wait. Wait for me.”

  From down the street, Patrice comes racing to where we sit outside of the stables. One of the packs we brought with us from Eric’s apartment is strapped to her back and her brows are furrowed.

  “Son of a…” Daniel dismounts, but doesn’t take any steps toward Patrice.

  She gets to us a half minute later, out of breath, but smiling.

  “What are you doing here, Patrice?”

  “Don’t fight me on this.” She holds up a finger so she can suck in another breath. “I’ve done everything you asked of me and I haven’t complained.”

  Daniel shoots her a doubtful look.

  “Okay, I haven’t complained much. I promise I won’t slow you down and I won’t say a word in Arbor Glen. It’ll be like I’m not even there.”

  “It’ll be exactly like you aren’t even there, because you aren’t going.”

  “Please, Daniel.” Patrice tosses her pack on the ground and reaches out for Daniel’s hands. “I’m going to go crazy just sitting here. I can’t stare at the Noteboard feed all day worrying I’m going to hear a report that you guys or Eric have been captured.”

  “Patrice, you can’t—”

  “She can come.”

  Patrice and Daniel whip their heads toward me.<
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  “Rebecca…”

  I hold a hand up to stop Daniel’s protest. How can I possibly tell Patrice she has to stay here when her reasons for going are exactly the same as mine?

  “We have the last two horses.” Daniel crosses his arms and stares me down.

  I stare back at him. “She can ride double with me.”

  “This isn’t a day trip.” Daniel rubs his hands over his face. It’s going to take us two days to get there, who knows how long to negotiate a possible trade, and two more days to get back.”

  “I have food and extra clothes packed and ready to go. We can leave right now.” Patrice glances back and forth between me and Daniel.

  Daniel can be mad at me all he wants. I’m not going to leave Patrice here. I can’t force her to stay, knowing what waiting for all of us to get back safely will do to her. I hold my hand down and help her mount up behind me. We’re snug in the saddle, but it will work.

  Patrice lets out a slow breath and puts a hand on the back of my elbow. “Thank you.” Her words whisper against my ear and hold a tiny hint of the desperation she must have been feeling.

  “Don’t I get a say in this?”

  “No, but you can have a vote.” I shield my hands against the first rays of sun filtering through the trees. “All in favor of Patrice going with us?”

  Patrice and I raise our hands in unison.

  “All opposed?”

  Daniel throws both of his hands up in defeat. “This is ridiculous.”

  “It’s just a quick supply run. We should be there and back in four days. She’s just as safe with us as she would be waiting back here.”

  Daniel doesn’t say a word and refuses to look me in the eye as he mounts back up. He’s mad, and that’s fine. He still sees Patrice as the little sister he left at home all those years ago. But she’s no more a helpless flower than I am.

  I use the reins to turn our horse east.

  * * *

  It’s mid-afternoon when we stop at the top of a tree-covered hill. Below us, Arbor Glen is stretched out like a long serpent. It looks smaller. That first time we marched into the village everything seemed so much larger than life. Funny how a little time can change my perspective so much. The main street is a bustle of activity with most everyone heading toward one central building. Probably the dining hall.