Nothing But a Star

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Nothing But a Star Page 4

by Jeremy Reed


  see the planet as cyan yolk,

  an opalescent cone, the first

  to enter into lunar time. Our hits

  were random on a rainy day,

  a raindrop like a tadpole on your chin

  fanned into liquid tails, the tiny bead

  flashing up like a starburst on your skin.

  Pink Roses

  These shaped up like shocking pink ice cream scoops

  in steamy June, cerise bra cups

  expansive under hissy thunder rain.

  I wrote to you out of the gunning shower

  The postcard a black and white

  Button To Secret Passage Press

  Helen Levitt

  New York 1939,

  a squattish atmospheric down-there light

  no-colour dead-end alley grey

  leaked out the photo’s accidental find

  for Helen on a fogged-up oppressive

  late summer on the East Side NY day.

  I wrote to you of full on pink roses

  to take you out of your pain a bit,

  or so I hoped, your fear you’d crack

  again, and keep on going down

  to where you couldn’t make it back.

  Pink roses seemed appropriate

  a subject to share, while the rain came on

  abruptly in my thoughts of you

  and how we’d both been places you don’t go,

  the bad end of breakdowns and seen it through,

  and got out some, and lived to share this thought

  of roses piling on in rainy June

  their optimal crazy stupendous scent.

  Bank Holiday

  Our neighbourhood goes flat, its Range Rovers

  jeeped out of town by urban desert rats,

  sunglassed paramilitary bankers

  perma-tanned and vaccinated with Tamiflu

  driving blacked-out into a hazy sun

  like an orange interplanetary traffic light.

  Indoors, I’ve got

  six shocking pink hyacinths in a pot

  throwing striptease angles, that pink

  they’re sexy like a Cadillac.

  Mostly I think the light forgets the time

  like I do, travelling that fast,

  186,000 mph

  accelerating away from its past

  like my billions of neurons burning out.

  I forget everything I write

  as though licked by a bathroom wipe,

  and link only to the present,

  like there’s no yesterday involving me.

  Ruth Ellis shot her lover where I drink,

  a Smith & Wesson .38 handgun

  ripping blood torrents over South Hill Park

  outside the Magdala, April 1955,

  cherry blossom mixed in like cake filler.

  The killing’s always there as legacy

  to a nightclub hostess’ red lippy:

  the blonde and a gun as her dialect:

  a shattering six-bullet inflected cockney.

  I stay a while; April bleeds into May,

  Sunday to Monday worked up by bright showers,

  And do my thing like tricky Sudoku

  sitting out back under tusked lilac flowers.

  Just a Shot Away

  He scratches at the blister pack

  Ace inhibitors for the autocrat

  with his blood pressure volume up

  in loud arterial corridors.

  Low thunder rumbles in the air

  over Whitehall, dense blue and black

  cloud patterns, just a shot away

  in thumping feedback decibels.

  His blobby makeup’s too orange,

  his testosterone level’s flat,

  the storm moves in like a Boeing’s

  lowering whack of engine roar.

  Time’s like a movie: nothing’s real.

  The moment documents the speed

  it’s overtaking. Westminster

  fries in its bloody ecosphere

  of unremitting and unsanctioned wars

  blowing the Middle East into toxic Lego.

  The man’s squashed suit’s like separates

  forked off a greasy breakfast plate.

  His cold refrigerated brain

  hums like a mortuary.

  His body’s square, shaped like a van.

  He doesn’t hear the detonating rain.

  The storm’s localised as a hit,

  the inky daylight’s shot through by

  a squirt of livid orange sky.

  He’s got his customised bunker underground,

  the planet that he burns resists

  as the one green space in the universe

  with atmosphere. The rain again:

  it’s dazzle throwing a rainbow

  right over Vauxhall, as his pill

  metabolises and a truck

  waved down by police has as signage

  www.WhatTheFuck

  Geranium and Orange Chocolate

  Bought upriver at Bermondsey—

  the tide mixed there like a Persian carpet,

  blues, greens, a maroon undertow,

  the city’s toxic arteries

  ducked by a yellow river bus.

  Downriver, I told you I’d missed out on it

  despite the fit, 38”/40”,

  the black retro Agnes b jacket

  tagged at a snippet

  I’d left back there like a blind date.

  Later, you nibbled the chocolate in bed,

  searching to separate the mix

  unable to find the geranium,

  the orange too upfront a note,

  and jabbed your tongue into my mouth

  opening an orange flower in my throat.

  100 Years On or So

  The toast I pop crumbles like a bronze beach

  compacted by the tide; the smear

  of honey a flower synthesis,

  an ecology got by tunnelling—

  the bee in a black corset upending

  into a sticky corolla,

  and it’s a kitchen thing I do

  getting into the day’s anthology

  of bits, the sky filling in blue

  spaces between the grey—it’s my time

  like reading engineered ingredients

  on a Green & Black’s chocolate bar

  in London now and 100 years on

  70% cocoa

  on another industrial star

  sold off for mineral acreage.

  I use my bullet twin-tip promarker

  Letraset black to mark up a jiffy

  with poetry as a footnote

  to my address for winging to CA’s

  sapphire coastline cratered with meteor-

  sized boulders, raw planetary rocks

  dumped by the dusty sky

  from another turbulent galaxy

  into rumbling Pacific blue.

  The future’s a species patched by stem cells

  with transplant organs living on an Earth

  ripped into global psychosis

  by war and its cash-guzzling oligarchs

  locked into bomb-proof fortress Jaguars…

  I scrape my second toast of burnt granules,

  a powdery blackening before the lick

  of honey holds: I’m in the day

  like sunlight on pink chrome and place the jar

  back in cool storage and up higher still

  the ceiling’s painted with a ruby star.

  Workshop

  It’s the cardboard carton lettered OSPC

  black sans-serif stamp interests me

  more than the poetry.

  10 of us in a room with trial paint marks

  an aqua slash a violet rip,

  raw strip lighting, a conference-size table,

  all women coming on 40,

  marriage or big relationships stared down

  immobilised by a red traffic light.

  Poetry’s now the le
tting go

  of mess, constraint, ‘he hurt me bad

  and left me crying on the stairs

  but now I’m almost glad

  I’m free,’ Christine relates as a postscript

  to reading ‘Falling Down the Stairs,’

  the vertically absailing imagery

  scooped up by forward signposting

  like fizzing coke.

  No poem gets things right,

  it reinvents the story, puts in bits

  otherwise lost, you never know

  the things you do until you write them out.

  Christine, with the blonde bob and turquoise frames,

  and casual giveaway delivery

  like effortlessly pouring wine,

  you in the group lead by the pain

  you’ve converted into a state

  that’s matt indigo with a come up shine.

  Holly’s Moves

  Cornholme, Todmorden, always deeper out

  than urban stuff I correlate

  with fusion in our lives, Holly’s glammed up,

  lashings of black lash and so desperate

  she drank the bottle three quarters

  pretending that the bottom was the top

  like listening to a pop song in reverse,

  glittering my flat with red love hearts

  painted over the bare black boards

  as though her feet had turned heart-shaped

  and left vermilion signatures.

  We lost each other, her Whittington stay

  a chemical cosh, suicidal thoughts

  the propellant to interludes,

  she orbited a polarised black hole

  and disappeared. Today it’s geography

  keeps us apart, raw November outside,

  a grey 4 p.m. sky that’s coloured up

  crushed raspberry, her email clicking on

  to how I’m suddenly alert

  to all we left unfinished and the way

  she wrote her novel face down on the floor

  and left the pages there like mapping out

  a continent in rectangles,

  propped up on a left elbow, quizzical,

  with her red handbag hanging from the door.

  Chasing the Dragon

  Richmond as a leafy gentrified remove

  dragged out to on the twitchy District Line

  (a 40 miles sub-surface 60 stations

  peppermint-green colour-coding)

  Paula’s white powder’s in her bag

  for chasing Asia on a curve

  of dirty smoke into the China Sea

  each hit compounding a habit

  she couldn’t kick, junk in her cells

  for dopamine as credit.

  Piccadilly to Strawberry Hill

  our desperate track itinerary

  for white lady, I never touched.

  I was Paula’s dependable

  poet writing in notebooks on the floor.

  She made my face up like her own:

  red eye shadow, black eyeliner,

  and saw a pharaoh standing at the door.

  The dragon habituated all night,

  elusive molecular chemical

  standing out like a smoky contrail

  the single red eye winking at a drag

  diffused into blue foggy cumulus.

  Come Alive and Burn

  My chemistry kick-starts its neural surge

  at 10 a.m., a fired-up thrust

  like a rocket’s sub-orbital hop

  boosted from the Mojave Desert

  into dusty transparent sky windows

  to end up a burnt-out re-entry can.

  It’s glucose activates my busy cells

  for sex and riffy poetry

  as the sensational I do.

  The garden fries, a peach-coloured lily

  in a ruffle shirt comes explosively alive

  after the shower’s forward-thinking spill

  into warped fissures. I post-date my words

  because they’re dated from the start

  the way language breaks up

  like faulty DNA error.

  I’d like to design adventure products,

  things that go on into deep space.

  Weird life organisms, galactic dust

  converts to double helixes in space

  with reproductive memory

  in zero gravity.

  I wear a biker’s jacket for the thrill;

  its skin’s alive with studded energy.

  Most of the time I know the alien

  wonky chemical industry in my brain,

  the side that selects imagery for show

  like cars in a showroom display—

  the Elvis type, red glossy fins,

  customised art-space gunning the highway.

  My arteries are lined with time

  as an instructive agent—go with it

  like the M1—the wear’s the poetry,

  the crazy pick-ups, break-ups on the way,

  for looks that kill, flashes of edge beauty

  and a hot vision streaming through the day.

  Maddox Street

  A year scrunched angularly on the top floor,

  a nosebleed-red crane’s arm outside

  working a reconstructed shattered site,

  I catalogued books like playing mah-jong,

  with rare editions, handled thumb-stained skins

  rubbed pig, deer, cow, human

  epidermis from the 18th century,

  the light collecting in scattered colours

  as atomised sunshine, blue, purple, red

  surges of photons immediate

  as consciousness, a drill blasting into

  a concrete regolith; the windows shook

  from the abrasive shattering

  like sitting on a fault line: linen, glue,

  full cloth and jackets with edge-wear

  part of my process playing book striptease

  to get descriptions right and books malleable

  to handling. I couldn’t sustain

  interest in data, my futures radar

  working a poem intermittently

  against typing in facts in quirky rafts

  that looked like strings of Beluga caviar.

  I collected Maddox Street in my blood,

  walked its quarter lunch times as my anthology

  of London street surprises caught its mood

  on rainy days best, and nurtured a plant,

  a left behind guzmania

  rewarding me with a triple raspberry star.

  Elegy for Paul Lightborn

  White Jamaican Plumstead Paul,

  hatted, prettified dodgy rent

  working the blowy circular concourse

  at full-on Piccadilly Circus Exit 1

  circa late seventies, degraded, hurt,

  grime on hot money like pigment,

  bacterial traces patterned like snakeskin,

  our lives crossed disruptive 2009,

  you shuffling, puffy with PCP,

  holding up on triple combination,

  your antiretrovirals doing bits

  to re-regulate toxic downward drift:

  April, and I’m lost in my Dilly book,

  you as my compromised interviewee,

  firsthand streetwise bashed-up smoke and mirrors

  residual outtake from an outlawed trade,

  remembering the lot, each punter’s face

  and more exactingly just what they paid

  and what you did, subverting public space

  into a systemised rent arena.

  It broke you, each new undercover raid

  hauling you off to Bow Street, nights in cells,

  later the Marlborough Street Magistrates Court,

  and always you went back to hanging out

  in people’s faces—damaged love for sale—

  the exhibitionistic effrontery

  a part of it, the rest the need to eat


  or party in a club. You’d kept alive

  the dead man who’d infected you, no trace

  of bitterness, drinking Jamaican coffees

  on Pembridge Road, telling me all of it

  with swipes of bitchy humour, and certain

  you’d do it all again, win and not lose

  if you could correct time, re-write the past,

  forking a syrup-drenched waffle, ‘You know

  the punter’s on you and you’ve got to choose.’

  Books

  They’re like decoding someone’s DNA.

  You get the genome signature

  buried in language: do they mean

  these woody awkward 8x5s in stacks

  nobody buys, glossy jackets

  like designer statements, a high-rise spill

  like pulp architecture

  replaced by e?

  They’re like copies without originals,

  neurology converted into print

  and kept precisionally rectangular.

  Dead books do disinformation like the dead.

  The one in the dictator’s car’s a paperback

  on longevity called Forget To Die.

  He flicks through surrounded by suited thugs

  under a radioactive blood-red sky.

  Wounded Kink

  Slim, facing out in black reflective shades,

  doorwayed for sunshine breaks in Cecil Court

  I can’t retrieve or let go bits

  or ten years on remix these lines

  as spooky altered physics.

  A poem’s like declassified papers

  or a deleted number plate.

  Two floors above me a guitar hero,

  Dave Davies, relearns chords after a stroke,

  a flameout in brain circuitry

  projecting him into missing time

  outside the BBC. Now his retrievals

  are slow like regaining the riffy stairs

  after a fall. He can’t get back to Kinks,

  but stays on as a futures legend

  like a re-entry astronaut.

  Are same-decade sharers in the same time

  directed somewhere by the similar

  that others aren’t, the cut off point

  contemporaneous, the check-in regular

  at the departure gate?

  November cools like a crystallised contrail,

  no questions answered, me inside the shop

 

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