Unconventional Husband

by Riley Knight

  “I never get to go,” Mary Anne said. There was just the faintest hint of a whine in her voice, but mostly, she just sounded sad, and that made Mark’s heart break a little bit.

  “I’ll take you,” Scott said, and Mark looked at him, startled. And not entirely sure that he was thrilled with the offer, either. Scott didn’t even look to Mark to see if it was okay, he just said it, and then Mary Anne was grinning and practically bouncing with her excitement, and it wasn’t like Mark could say no to that.

  “Go get your shoes on. Do you know her address? I’ll give her parents a call and make sure it’s okay,” Scott said. Just like that, he took control, and Mark stared at him, hardly able to believe that he was doing so.

  For Mary Anne’s whole life, really, Mark had been the one to take care of her. It was strange, and slightly unwelcome, to have someone else step into that role.

  Soon enough, it was all arranged, and Mark was left alone with his art to stew in his thoughts.

  * * *

  First, there was anger. Anger that Scott would just take over. Then, fear. What if Mary Anne didn’t need him anymore? She was growing up so fast already, and he didn’t know what he would do without her.

  Mark closed his eyes, letting his inking pen fall to the table. He took deep, deep breaths, accepting the thoughts that he had, accepting his emotions as valid, and then he tried to push them away.

  It was surprisingly easy to do. Once, he’d had quite the temper. Honestly, he still did, but he’d learned how to control it through a fair bit of counseling. He’d needed to get better, for his daughter’s sake, and those lessons came in handy now.

  What did he want? For Scott not to take on a parental role with Mary Anne? For Scott to feel like he’d always be an outsider, never be empowered to make the decisions?

  Scott was Mary Anne’s stepfather, and he was better at that job than Mark could have dreamed. Was Mark really going to let his fear get in the way of that?

  When Scott came in about an hour later, Mark was calm. It had been quite the hour, and a lot of struggling with himself, but he’d done it. He wasn’t upset.

  “She needed to go,” Scott said quietly, but he was clearly ready to defend himself. “You couldn’t take her. So I did.”

  “I know,” Mark said. He got up and went to his husband, kissing him softly and then, when that wasn’t enough, kissing him much more firmly. He could feel how tight Scott’s muscles were, and that honestly only made him love Scott more.

  Scott was, like Mark, ready to fight for Mary Anne. To do what was best for her. In the end, how could Mark be mad about that?

  “I thought you’d be pissed. You looked pissed when I left,” Scott said, and Mark sighed softly. He should have known that his husband was too perceptive to let that one slide.

  “Yeah. I’ve been the one to make choices for Mary Anne for a long time now,” Mark admitted. “I didn’t really like it when you did it for me, when you took over. I got over it.”

  There was a moment of silence between them, and then Scott relaxed into the embrace and wrapped his own arms around Mark, hugging him back in a way which was very welcome.

  “I guess we’re going to have a lot of this sort of thing,” Scott whispered, while Mark stroked over his back and enjoyed his warm body against him. “I’m not really used to even living with someone else, and neither are you.”

  Mark couldn’t even deny that. When was the last time he had even introduced someone he was interested in to his daughter? Had he ever? Come to think of it, he wasn’t sure he had.

  “Sometimes I’m still scared. Even though this whole adoption thing is going, it’s all happening, even though we’re married … Are we doing the right thing?” Scott looked at Mark plaintively, and he felt his heart lurch in his chest.

  It wasn’t always that Scott was so honest with him, but the things he was saying, they were a little bit terrifying. Scott was still having doubts? Mark was committed to this now, and if Scott decided he couldn’t handle this, where would that leave Mark?

  “Seriously?” Mark pulled away from him, and some of the fear which he felt turned to something very much like anger. “You’re having second thoughts? Isn’t it a little bit late for that?”

  Scott lowered his head, hiding his eyes from Mark, lidding them and concealing himself. Mark knew Scott well enough to recognize it for what it was. Hiding. He didn’t speak, he wouldn’t even look at Mark.

  “Oh my God,” Mark whispered. “Damn it, Scott, you need to figure shit out pretty damn quickly. What’s going on?”

  Reeling a little, Mark went to sit down, to look at his husband. Scott had seemed so sure. Why the sudden change? If Mark had known Scott would end up not being sure, he never would have married him.

  Only that wasn’t true. He would have married Scott for pretty much any reason, as long as Scott wanted to. Now, he wasn’t so sure Scott did. There was definitely something going on.

  “I don’t know. I feel like I don’t belong in this world,” Scott admitted, finding his own seat and falling down into it. “I don’t know anything about this process. I still want to do it, but it’s kind of …”

  His voice trailed off, and Mark let out a sigh of relief. He’d been pretty genuinely worried there for a second. Was this all because of him, he’d wondered? He knew he could be intense.

  It seemed that wasn’t it at all. Scott was just not used to the process, and Mark could understand that. After all, he’d been in the same position. He could remember. It had been much easier to adopt Mary Anne, but it had definitely changed his lifestyle.

  Scott was rich and famous, not to mention an incredibly handsome playboy. Or he had been a playboy until recently. This whole thing had to feel strange to him. Mark was just being impatient.

  Smiling a little, he went over and perched in Scott’s lap. He kissed his husband briefly on the lips and then hugged him tightly.

  “Do you want a kid, Scott?” he asked, and waited for the nod, gratified when it was so emphatic. “Do you want to be Mary Anne’s stepfather?” Mark continued, and there was another nod as Scott’s arms went around Mark’s waist and hugged him tightly.

  “More than anything,” Scott whispered, and Mark could hear the genuine fear, as well as the longing, in his voice. It occurred to Mark that he had literally never met anyone who needed love as much as this man did.

  And do you want to be married to me? Mark wanted to ask the words but didn’t. He knew he loved Scott. He knew that however, this had started off, it wasn’t just about the adoption for him anymore.

  What he didn’t know was if Scott felt the same way. And he wasn’t at all sure he was ready to know the answer to that question, either. How could he handle it if this still wasn’t a real marriage to Scott?

  It was so damn real to Mark at this point. He didn’t think he could take it if Scott didn’t feel the same way. Better not to know. Better not to try to change this thing between them, especially when Scott was obviously feeling a little fragile to start with.

  “Okay.” Mark snuggled up to him, breathing in his scent deeply, pulling Scott even deeper inside of him. It was a bad idea. Every breath he took seemed to anchor him more firmly with his husband, and Scott was having doubts.

  Mark should be trying to keep his distance, but he found he couldn’t do it. So he held Scott close and rested his head on his husband’s shoulder and tried to comfort them both.

  “The home study will help,” Mark murmured, and he hoped, more than anything, that it would.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Scott

  So far, Scott had to admit he had been nervous for no reason. The social worker who was doing their home study seemed very nice, friendly and personable, and while the questions were a little bit intense, Scott could understand why she was asking them.

  “What is your relationship like with the rest of your family?” she asked, and Scott’s heart froze solid in his chest. He could swear it wasn’t even beating, at least for a second or
two, and he felt like he couldn’t breathe.

  “I’m close to my brother,” Mark said, mercifully giving Scott time to think by answering first. “And, of course, Mary Anne is really excited to have a new sibling.”

  The woman, who had introduced herself as Wendy, nodded and smiled at Mark.

  “Your parents?” she probed, and even in his panic, Scott had to admire the way she worked to get more information. She was subtle enough about it to not feel super invasive, but also firm and direct.

  “My dad isn’t around,” Mark said, and Scott smiled a little. Mark was so at peace with that fact, and it sort of blew him away. “And my mom and I aren’t on good terms.”

  Scott let out the shaky breath he’d been holding. The social worker made a note, but she didn’t immediately tell them they couldn’t adopt, so that was something.

  “And you, Scott?” she asked, seemingly without judgment.

  “Do you mind if I ask why you’re asking?” Scott looked at her, trying to figure out a way to get out of answering the question.

  The truth was, he didn’t want to talk about his parents. He didn’t even want to think about his parents, who hadn’t even been at his wedding. He hadn’t even bothered to invite them.

  It wasn’t like they would come.

  “We like to know what sort of support system adoptive parents will have,” Wendy said, her voice gentle and routine. “Being a father is a lot of work, and everyone needs someone around them to help them with it.”

  Scott winced a little. It was true. Mark had been doing the best he could with Mary Anne, and he’d even been doing a hell of a job, but Scott had been able to tell it was a lot.

  Was he basically dooming his future child to a life without grandparents? Could he, in good conscience, do that?

  “I see,” Scott said, and then he shook his head. This was pointless. He wasn’t going to be able to hide this forever, and maybe it was best if Wendy knew.

  “My parents don’t know I’m married,” he admitted, his voice bleak. “Hell, they don’t even know that I’m …” he took a deep breath. It wasn’t easy to admit to this, and he found himself shying away from the word he’d intended to say. “They don’t know about my sexuality,” he said instead.

  He had been hiding it, even from himself, for so long. Hopping from bed to bed, never satisfied with any woman he’d ever been with. He was only now coming to terms with it.

  He’d never fallen in love before. Had never expected he ever would. But without ever meaning to, he had fallen in love with a man. With Mark.

  “I see. So what is your support system, then?” Wendy asked, making another note. She seemed totally unfazed, but somehow, Scott didn’t buy it.

  With just a few words, he was pretty sure he’d just destroyed all of their chances at adoption. Why hadn’t be foreseen this question? He really should have, it wasn’t that difficult to figure out they would want to ask something like that.

  “Each other,” Mark said firmly. “My brother. Our friends.”

  “All right,” Wendy commented as she scribbled down more things on her pad. Scott wanted to see what she was writing, but at the same time, he didn’t. He had a feeling he wouldn’t like what he read. “I’ll get this all typed up. Thank you for having me.”

  She rose to her feet, and just like that, the interview was over. Scott fought back a groan as he shook the hand of the woman who had the power to give them a child, and knew he had screwed it all up.

  “I’ll be in touch,” she said, and then she was gone, leaving Scott alone with his husband. How was he going to face him, after what he’d done?

  God, Mark was going to hate him.

  * * *

  After the meeting with the social worker, Scott found he was utterly unable to meet Mark’s eyes. So he left, he went up to work on the scripts for the show. And when he was called into work, he went.

  Maybe his work was the only child he would ever have.

  Well, there was always work which needed to be done, even if they weren’t filming that day, and Scott worked himself until he was exhausted. Finally, long after dinner time, he dragged himself home.

  It was the sort of thing he had done all the time before. For some reason, he felt guilty about it, though, as he approached the house. He’d missed Mary Anne’s bedtime, he’d missed dinner with his family, and for what?

  Yes, he’d been needed at work, but they could have made do without him.

  The house was silent when he stepped inside, and Scott winced a little. Had he missed Mark’s going to bed, too? It was late, after all, approaching midnight. Though Mark wasn’t normally the sort of guy who went to bed early …

  Very quietly, he snuck into the house and headed for the kitchen. The least he could do, coming in so late, was be quiet and try not to wake anyone up.

  On the table, there was a note, and Scott took a deep breath. It was from Mark, he recognized his husband’s handwriting, and he wondered if he was about to get complained at for coming in late.

  It wasn’t like he’d done anything wrong, he tried to defend himself. He’d told Mark where he was going, and that he didn’t know when he’d be home. What more did the guy want?

  All of his defensiveness melted away when he read the note.

  Hey, babe, dinner’s in the fridge. Hope you had a good day and are doing all right.

  -M

  It was a lot harder to get up on his high horse when Mark had been so sweet about it. Guilt took over, and Scott quietly got his dinner, ate it, and then went up to the bedroom.

  Mark was there, and he was, in fact, asleep. Not very deeply asleep, though, and Scott stripped down and then slid into bed with him, wrapping his arms around this man who had come to mean far too much to him.

  Immediately, Mark quieted. He had been tossing restlessly in bed, but he turned toward Scott and rested his head on Scott’s chest like he trusted him. Damned if Scott knew why he would, though.

  He’d ruined everything. Not just by running away to work, but also by what he’d told the social worker. What else could he have said, though? He didn’t want to lie to the woman.

  “Scott?” Mark stirred in his arms, and those gorgeous, mysterious light gray eyes of his opened to focus on Scott. A smile touched those beautiful full lips, and Mark nestled closer to him.

  His husband was just so vulnerable right when he’d been sleeping, and Scott felt his heart fill even more with love for his amazing husband.

  “I didn’t mean to wake you,” Scott admitted, stroking over Mark’s cheek. “Go back to sleep, if you want.”

  Mark laughed softly, his voice low and deep and slightly hoarse and incredibly sexy with the sleep that lingered there.

  “No way. I tried to wait up for you. I guess I passed out.”

  Scott felt about two inches tall suddenly. Mark had waited up for him? Scott definitely didn’t deserve him, not as messed up as he was.

  “I’m sorry,” Scott whispered, and to his shame, tears were stinging his eyes. He blinked them back. He wasn’t going to make this worse by bawling about it, but he just felt so low, so small.

  “What about? Because you took off? I get it. You were scared by the home study,” Mark murmured soothingly. His hands worked over Scott’s back, stroking over the tense muscles, offering comfort.

  “Not just that,” Scott admitted, though it would be so easy just to let it go there. But he had something else he needed to say first.

  Only he couldn’t. He couldn’t make himself say the words. So instead, he launched himself at Mark and pressed a desperate, heated kiss to his lips. It was so much easier to show him, instead of telling him. Besides, Scott always wanted him. Always.

  “Mmm,” Mark commented, fully cooperating with the kiss. He pressed right up against Scott, moaning, still sleepy but Scott could feel the erection which Mark was getting very clearly against his hip, hard and thick.

  Scott was hard, too. It seemed like Mark could always make him hard, like no woman, like n
o one of any gender that Scott had been with. Just one kiss, that one little moan, and Scott felt his cock swell rapidly until he was fully ready to go.

  It took so little.

  Mark was hard, too. Scott could feel it when the other man pressed close to him, when he felt his aroused length against his hip. He shifted his own hips just a little, and his cock met Mark’s, slipping over it, lubricated by the precome they were both leaking.

  “Mark, baby,” Scott moaned, rocking against him. “I need you.”

  Smirking a little, Mark nodded. Scott could tell he was waking the other man up fully, there was no trace of sleep left in his voice or face, and his movements were energetic, not languorous at all.

  “How do you want me?” Mark asked, and Scott knew. He knew without having to think about it at all. Once, it had been something he never would have considered doing, but with Mark … well, Mark was special, no doubt about it.

  “Fuck me,” Scott said the words directly, gazing into his husband’s eyes. He had never trusted anyone else to do it, and he never would. Only Mark. With him, though, it felt perfect, and Scott wanted that connection. He wanted to feel his husband deep inside him, linking them together so perfectly.

  Mark was obviously stunned, so Scott grabbed the bottle of lube and handed it to the other man. He was serious. He knew he didn’t ask for it very often, but it was what would be right for him, for them both, this time.

  Scott groaned as Mark smirked at him, and then he was being pressed back. The cool touch of the slippery lube worked inside of him, as he was prepared quickly but thoroughly.

  “Now,” he whispered, his legs spread wide. “Mark, now, fuck me.”

  It was just as good as he’d known it would be. The weight of his husband’s body on him, the feel of that lube-slick cock as it rubbed against Scott’s aching erection. Scott closed his eyes to just focus on the sensations, and it was exquisite.