The Naked Pint

by Christina Perozzi

  We know this because people are hiring us to help them host these parties. We’re not here to write ourselves out of a job, but we are here to tell you that you can do it on your own! Have no fear, we’ll show you how to do it from start to finish. Instead of having to hire us, you can cut out the middleman and have a truly unique party for your friends. Just follow a few simple steps.

  Research, Research, Research: Start with the Beer

  Entertaining with craft beer can be challenging because of its lack of availability. So we suggest that before you decide on a theme for your tasting or food to cook or pairings to make, you actually see what beers are available to you. Although there is a smattering of specialty beer shops popping up here and there, the best place to find rare artisanal and craft beer is at boutique wine shops. These shop owners have been on the cutting edge of craft beer since the revolution began and often know as much about the beer as they do wine. Some are even employing beer experts and buyers (love that). As a matter of fact, our local Whole Foods Market has created a beer specialist position and has an amazing selection of craft and artisanal beers.

  Craft beer bars are also a great resource. Not only are the beers available at local craft beer bars a good representation of what you’ll be able to get in the area but, we hope, the bartenders and managers are knowledgeable enough and friendly enough to give you good information about what beers are coming soon, what beers are going away, what beers are rare in the area, what beers were a once off (a one-time sale), what beers are seasonal, and so on. If for some bizarre reason the staff isn’t in the know or isn’t friendly (they bloody well should be, but if they aren’t), craft beer bars are also a Mecca for beer-geeks who love to talk about the latest and greatest secrets in craft beer (and from whom we’ve received many great tips). So sit down at the bar, see what’s in stock, have some beers, and talk to the people there. Sounds like some grueling research, no?

  Practice, Practice, Practice: Picking the Beers

  Now that you’ve researched and evaluated the available beers, you can start thinking about a tasting. Use the criteria you now know and start thinking about how the beers could work in a lineup. Think about which beers are very different from each other and which beers are similar. Think about which ones are true to style and which ones taste much different from what you had expected based on the name, style, or color. Sometimes we pick beers based on a theme of a special event or the time of year, but we always try to pick a wide variety of different beer flavors. You won’t be able to please everybody all the time. But if you have a nice selection that covers many different flavor profiles, you will be able to suit many different palates.

  Here are some examples of themes that we’ve done for beer tastings:

  GEOGRAPHIC REGIONS: Travel around the world through your taste buds. Concentrate on different beer styles or different labels from one country. Do a north meets south tasting of Germany, or taste the beers of northern France.

  A TRAPPIST TASTING: Always a crowd pleaser; to be able to compare and contrast some of the rarest, greatest, and most definitive beers in the world is truly a treat.

  AN EXTREME BEER TASTING: Taste a super-hoppy beer, a mega ABV beer, the funniest name, the rarest, the most expensive—whatever you decide—just make sure the beer pushes the limit.

  ALL LONE STYLE: This tasting is really a great way to understand and experience the diversity that exists even in just one style of beer. Buy only Wheat Beers, Stouts, Belgian Doubles, or Lambics.

  A SINGLE BREWERY TASTING: Taste many beers from only one brewery. It’s a fun way to explore a brewery’s entire repertoire, and it’s also an interesting study to see how the brewer works with ingredients—how the beers are similar and how they are different when they all come from the same room.

  ON-DRAUGHT-ONLY TASTING: If you are feeling super-motivated, this is a fun tasting to do. Go around to your local breweries and see if they’ll sell you growlers of their draft beer. It’s great to do a tasting of beers you can only get at craft bars or on tap at your house.

  When we do beer tastings, we usually pick 8 to 10 different kinds that will challenge our guests’ perceptions of beer. The order in which these beers are tasted is of the utmost importance. It’s essential that the beers be tasted from least intense to most intense. The last thing you want to do to your guests when you want them to experience every nuance of the beer is to kill their delicate palates. When you taste a subtle beer after a super-hoppy beer, you can barely taste it. For instance, if you were to taste the Anderson Valley Hop Ottin’ IPA and then a light-bodied Reissdorf Kölsch directly afterward, the Kölsch would taste like Pellegrino (The Horror!).

  Once you’ve made a list of the beers that you want for the tasting, it’s time to go and get them. Even though we’ve gone through this process many times, there has never been a single time that we’ve been able to get every beer on our researched list. It’s frustrating to be sure, but that’s where the surprises and the fun come in. Say there was an article written in USA Today about Unibroue’s Blanche de Chambly Witbier, and now you can’t find it anywhere. Try picking out a different label of the same style; no big whoop. Remember that this is craft beer. It’s coveted and it’s rare, and sometimes it’s a “you snooze, you lose” world. Just stay fluid and you’ll be okay. Your beer-tasting party won’t suffer one iota.

  You also might be wondering how much beer to buy. Really it all depends on what you’re trying to achieve. A beer-drinking party and a beer-tasting party are two different animals. Obviously, if you are planning a beer-drinking blowout, get as much as you think you need (be careful with the ABV). But if you are hosting a beer-tasting party, conservatively you will need to buy no more than four ounces per person, per beer. Actually, we will pour only two to three ounces of each beer, but we buy enough to accommodate four ounces to mitigate any agitation, carbonation, or foaming issues.

  Set It Up

  Make sure that your guests have everything they need. Each person should have a good, clean glass so he or she can swirl and aerate the beer and enhance the aromatics. If you don’t have specific beer glassware, that’s fine. Burgundy or Pinot Noir wineglasses work great for beer tastings (see Chapter 7). Make sure that you have a water pitcher set out. This water isn’t just for staying hydrated. When a beer is particularly strong or unique, you will need to rinse out the glassware to avoid corrupting the next beer.

  It’s vital that you have something to nosh on during the tasting. The last thing you want is to have your guests tasting beer on an empty stomach. You will also need a dump bucket. This is usually a Champagne chiller or something equivalent that your guests can dump their beer into after they’ve tasted it if they have anything left, are being formal and spitting, or simply don’t like the beer.

  Before you start your tasting, make sure you’ve given yourself enough time to chill the beer. If you are using bottles, most styles need about two hours in the refrigerator or about an hour on ice. Make sure you take the beer out of the refrigerator or off the ice for a couple of minutes before you serve it, so the beer flavors are not inhibited by the cold. Again, most beers should be consumed at around 51°F. Also, make sure that you have an opener with you that has a corkscrew as well as a bottle cap opener. You will be embarrassed if you pry off that bottle cap on a highly anticipated Lambic only to see a cork in the neck of the bottle with no way of getting it out, and 20 people are staring at you, salivating. No bueno.

  Go Time: Hosting the Party

  Now is where you get to show off a bit. The first beer that we like to pour at the beginning of any beer tasting is a bit of the mass-produced industrialized fizzy yellow water that has been passing for beer in our country for almost 100 years. Have your guests go through the whole tasting process with it. Show them how to evaluate beer. Teach them to look at the beer and see what the color might say (or not say) about that beer. Tell them how to appreciate the aromatics of their beer and to get their noses way down in the glass and take a b
ig whiff, exploring primary and secondary impressions. Let them swirl the glass and inhale the aromas (or lack of aromas). This is a great frame of reference for any tasting, and a good way to teach them how to taste properly.

  As you move along with tasting each beer (from least intense to most intense), make sure to give a little explanation of each beer. Let your guests know the style of the beer, the brewer, where it’s from, and the ABV. During wine tastings, it’s considered bad form to say aloud what flavors you are picking up because flavor and aroma perception is so susceptible to suggestion. But we’ve found that most people are unaccustomed to evaluating beer in the way they evaluate wine, so it’s actually good to go ahead and help novices overcome their shyness by getting the ball rolling, using terms like smoky, buttery, asphalt, leather, and tobacco. Your guests will start chiming in, and eventually you won’t have to lead them at all. Of course, let more advanced tasters come up with their own flavors. Encourage questions. If you can’t answer them all, that’s fine. Have this book at your side for a quick reference; this will be a chance for you to learn as well.

  At the end of a successful tasting, guests are happy and astounded. We hope you’ve given them something they’ve never had before and shown them how to appreciate beer. If you want to go that extra mile, you can send your guests home with a little gift. We like to get a couple extra six-packs (or as many bottles as are needed) of one of the beers from our tasting and give one to each guest as a party favor. We also like sending our guests away with a little knowledge. We will type up and print out the beers listed in order of the tasting, with a couple of tasting notes and information on where they can buy the beer. This, of course, is going above and beyond, but once you’ve turned people on to beer, they have a tendency to become pretty enthusiastic about it. So if you don’t feel like getting 13 phone calls the next day asking you the name of “that fantastic beer” from the party, you might consider a handout.

  Here’s a checklist for everything you’ll need:

  Beer—duh

  Glassware—duh (see Chapter 7)

  Bottle opener with corkscrew

  Dump bucket

  Ice for chilling

  Pitcher for water

  Lots of water

  Something to nosh on

  Tasting sheets for note taking (see page 299)

  List of beer descriptions and a buying guide

  Use Protection: The Safety of Your Guests

  When hosting a beer tasting or beer dinner, you should take on some responsibility for your guests’ safety. They are your friends, and you don’t want to send them home destined for a DUI. We’re used to cutting people off from working at bars and restaurants where this is no joke. The law puts responsibility of inebriation on the establishment and imposes huge fines. This becomes even more important when it involves people you know, though it’s sometimes harder because you don’t want to offend them. You won’t be fined, but you will be horribly worried if you let a guest drive home drunk as a skunk. This can happen at beer dinners and tastings, where people are unfamiliar with the variety of ABVs. People may know when to say when if the drink is wine or a cocktail, but when it comes to beer, they may not realize that the American Wild Ale they’ve been drinking is 10% alcohol. You have to help them along the way.

  First, make sure you have food readily available at a tasting. And have something substantial, not just fruit and veggies; some sort of bread, like a baguette, is good for soaking up alcohol. Second, be sure to have loads of water around, and put it out on the table, right next to the beer. People will get a bit parched when drinking alcohol, but if water isn’t in front of them, they may forget to drink it. Do some sparkling water if you want to keep it classy. If you are doing a beer dinner, have a separate glass for water and several bottles of sparkling on the table, or a pitcher of regular water. And if no one fills their water glasses, do it yourself after the first few courses. You don’t have to be a mom about it, just think of it as being a gracious host.

  When hosting a beer tasting, be sure to tell people to treat it as a wine tasting, spitting out or dumping beers after they’ve tasted. This is tough to enforce, but keep the dump buckets out there, and do it yourself to get the ball rolling. Usually people will find one or two beers that they will drink in their entirety, which is great—they’ve found their new favorite—but not every beer will be, so encourage the dump. The best way to make sure no one goes overboard is to pour the correct amount for a tasting or beer dinner: a three- to four-ounce pour. This may seem skimpy to some of your more lushy guests, but assure them that there is plenty of beer coming, and that you don’t want drunkenness to dull their senses. This should get them excited and encourage restraint.

  Some signs of drunkenness we’ve learned to look for from years in the restaurant biz are the following: slurred speech, red eyes, inability to focus, swaying, dropping drinks, and taking off one’s shirt and singing George Michael’s “Freedom! ’90” If you’ve done all you can, and everyone still hit the sauce a little too hard, take their keys, call them a cab, offer them the couch, or give them a ride if you are sober. As embarrassing as this may be for you and your guest, it’s actually brave, noble, and far better than the alternatives.

  Beyond the Kegger: Throw the Coolest Dinner Party on the Block

  So remember what a huge hit your beer-tasting party was? Well, your beer-pairing dinner is about to blow it out of the water. It’s true that beer dinners are significantly more work, but they are oh so worth it. As we mentioned in Chapter 8, pairing beer with food can be a truly rewarding experience. In the greatest pairings, not only does the beer enhance the food but the food enhances the beer. A beer dinner is the time for these pairings to shine. It’s a sort of seduction into craft beer, and if done well, your guests will be true beer lovers after the first course.

  Think outside the box. Many beer-pairing dinners get trapped in a category, like German beers paired with German food or Belgian beers paired with Belgian food. While that’s all fine and dandy, pairing beer, with all of its varieties and complexities, begs the act of rebellion. As we said, there are no real rules. Cook an Italian or French meal and instead of the wine, pair each course with a beer. Heresy! Experiment with Asian dishes and Belgian-style beers. Shocking! Go nuts and serve some courses that are cooked with beer as an ingredient (see Chapter 8), and then pair them with a different beer! What? That’s crazy! The beer-pairing world is yours to explore.

  Like the beer-tasting party, make sure that you have clean glassware, that you serve your beer at the right temperature, and that you have dump buckets readily available. Also, make sure not to “soak” your guests. It’s a good idea to stick to six or fewer food courses, serving your guests no more than four ounces of beer for each course, and again, keep water on the table. Different, though, from the beer-tasting party, the dinner is more of a sensory experience and less of a classroom. It’s good to be armed with knowledge about the beer pairings, and it’s still a great idea to print out the menu and information about the beers for guests to take home. But this is not teaching time; this is close your eyes and appreciate time. This is the time to step onto the starship Sensory Voyager.

  Here is a menu from a beer dinner we hosted. We encourage you to be inventive.

  National Beer Wholesalers Association’s “Real Women Drink Beer” Dinner

  CRAFT LOS ANGELES

  October 20, 2008

  Chef de cuisine Matthew Accarrino and pastry chef Catherine Schimenti developed this amazing menu, and Christina picked the beers used for cooking and pairing and led guests through the dinner held at Top Chef head judge Tom Colicchio’s renowned restaurant, Craft Los Angeles. The dinner was sponsored by the National Beer Wholesalers Association. Take note of the way the beers are paired with the food in sometimes contrasting, sometimes complementary, and sometimes surprising ways—but always tasty. In our experience, even seasoned foodies are usually blown away by a thoughtful beer pairing. Attendees at beer-pairing di
nners are almost always amazed at the variety that encompasses beer as well as how wonderfully beer pairs with more refined food.

  FIRST COURSE

  Chimay Cinq Cent and Guinea Hen Consommé with Hop Foam

  Paired with good old Sierra Nevada Pale Ale

  This lemony and herbaceous Trappist beer was a perfect accompaniment to the golden consommé, which, topped with the white hop foam, looked exactly like a mini pint of beer.

  SECOND COURSE

  Kampachi, Hitachino White Ale Gelée, Crispy Hen of the Woods Mushrooms, Heirloom Apple, and Sorrel

  Paired with Unibroue Blanche de Chambly

  Chef Accarrino made a gelée out of the Hitachino Witbier, creating a concentrated solid beer cube, which was somehow still effervescent. The concentrated flavors of apricot and other stone fruits married wonderfully with the raw kampachi and the heirloom apples in the sauce.