Jingle All the Mitchell Way: A Holiday Novella

by Jennifer Foor

  “As insane as I think it is, it might be the only way. Go see what you can do. I won’t say anything until we know it can happen. Please don’t take forever, and don’t you dare come back with the title to one of them. I know you, and how much of a compulsive shopper you can be. You’re easy to influence.”

  I kissed my beautiful woman on her puffy lips. “I love you. I’ll be back as soon as possible. Keep it a secret until then, and don’t worry. I’m not buying an RV.”

  As I was walking out the door, Reese stopped me. “Where do I tell them you went?”

  “I don’t know. You’ll think of something.”

  Halfway down the road I considered turning around. This idea of mine was insane, but if it could work for my families advantage I had to make it happen. I’d do anything for my brother. Thirty days in a motorhome would be fine. We’d shared a room since birth. What could go wrong?

  Chapter 3

  Jax

  It was evident Amber wasn’t going to be able to fulfill a dream of hers since she’d gotten into the business of modeling. Everyone wants to crossover at different times in their career. It was much like getting a raise, I suppose in hindsight it’s exactly what it was. She’d be earning a huge payday, which in turned fueled her to want to take the job. It was financial security, not that we needed it. Our house was paid for, and since I owned a share of the ranch, we’d never hurt for anything.

  Still, my wife was determined to give our daughters the best life possible. She wanted them to be able to travel the world and experience everything firsthand instead of through web searches and class assignments. I admired her ability to multi-task, but could also appreciate how she knew what would be best for our family as a whole. Amber had been right. There was no way I could spend a full month alone in a hotel room while she was filming. It wasn’t like it would be a nine to five job either. Some scenes would require them to work until they got it right. Now, on most days I could manage my girls, in my home, with all their necessities. That wasn’t the issue. Being trapped in a small area with little things to occupy them would be torturous. That doesn’t even count our inability to prepare for the holidays, on what would be the first real Christmas the girls could open their own gifts. They knew Santa was coming, and neither of us were about to take that away.

  With my wife in my arms, clinging to me for reassurance that her decision wouldn’t bite us in the ass later, I kissed her head and let my lips linger there. “I know it’s hard, baby, but I think you’re a fantastic mother for thinking with your gut.”

  “There’s always going to be more movies, Jax. I refuse to miss our girls on account of it right now.”

  I patted her on the back before separating us. “We better get our asses in gear. If I’m going to fry up this turkey I need to get to the local store before everything closes.”

  “Doesn’t your dad have a turkey fryer?”

  “Probably somewhere. Do you really want me to mention our failures to them this early on? I mean, we need to pretend we pulled this off without a hitch.”

  Amber laughed at my comment. “Jax, everyone knows we’ve never accomplished anything without a problem. I think we both knew something like this would happen.”

  I kissed her quickly before preparing to leave the room. “Leave the turkey to me. I’ll get it done, and it will be the best fucking thing your mouth has ever tasted.” When I realized what I’d implied I reiterated. “The second best thing.” I winked before exiting the room to fetch my brother and hunt down a turkey fryer with little time to spare.

  Unbeknownst to me, Jake was gone. I found Reese entertaining the girls in the living room. “Where the hell is my brother? Did he forget more pies?”

  “No. He’ll be back shortly. Something came up.”

  “What’s more important than Thanksgiving dinner?”

  “I don’t know. You’ll have to ask him when he gets back.” She was being mysterious, and since I knew Reese, I could already tell they were both up to something. Since I had too much on my plate already, I decided to ignore it and go on about my hunt.

  After kissing my twins, I headed out to the ranch to enlist the help of my youngest cousin Josh. He was always getting into something; like smoking pot and screwing any girl that would spread her legs. I’d like to say he got his skills from me, but I was more selective.

  I found Josh in his room playing a video game. He had a set of huge headphones on, never noticing I’d come in. Since it wouldn’t be cool to screw with his game progress, I decided on another approach to grab his attention.

  After creeping up behind him, I unzipped my pants and dropped them to the floor. Then, with steady precision, I lifted my balls and placed them on his head. Josh spun like a Nascar driver who’d just won the cup, fast and furious. “What the fuck, dude?”

  “You’ve been tea bagged, shithead. Hit save and come with me. I need your help.”

  “I ain’t doing shit. I was out late last night.”

  I yanked the paddle from his hand and tossed it on the bed. “I’m not asking. Get your ass dressed.”

  Being older, and definitely wiser, Josh knew I wasn’t going to let up until he did what I’d asked.

  I walked into the kitchen while waiting, only to find my Uncle Conner and Aunt Amy sitting at the table having coffee. My aunt spoke first. “I thought I heard your voice. Did Amber kick you out already?”

  “No. She knows how good she has it.”

  My uncle chuckled to himself. “It’s good you have such a God complex Jax, because when the shit hits the fan it won’t hurt as much.”

  “Whatever. My wife has nothing to complain about.” I pointed to my groin area.

  My aunt shook her head and looked away. “It’s too early, Jax. What are you doing here?”

  “I’ve enlisted the help of Josh for today’s preparation.”

  “That can’t be good. Are we going to have food to eat?” Uncle Conner almost seemed worried.

  “Apparently Jake and Reese brought pie. It’s something.”

  He cackled again. “How your mother could think this was a good idea is beyond me.”

  “Conner, stop it. I’m sure dinner will be fantastic like it always is. What time are you expecting the rest of the Kentucky crew?” My aunt asked.

  My relatives packed in vehicles like sardines so we could all be together for both Thanksgiving and Christmas. We always alternated the events, one being held in North Carolina, and the other back in Kentucky. My Uncle Colt and Aunt Savanna had arrived at my parents house two nights ago, while the rest of the clan had been trickling in since then. Addison and Cole, and Christian and Ethan were still unaccounted for. Noah and Shalan had arrived last week with their two kids, the new baby included. They were staying with my sister, Isabella and her husband Rusty. Our family was becoming way too large to keep track of. Just doing so was making my head hurt. “I don’t know. When they arrive, they arrive. The food will be ready at five.”

  “We’ll be there. I’m bringing the mashed potatoes and green beans. I know your grandparents are making their famous kielbasa and sauerkraut. Your mom said she could smell it this morning when she walked outside.”

  My mouth was watering as my aunt spoke. We only got to have it once a year, so I couldn’t wait to fill my plate and devour the hell out of it.

  Josh appeared in the kitchen with a hat on his nappy head, in a pair of jeans and a wrinkled T-shirt. “How you get laid is beyond my understanding.”

  “It’s an acquired taste,” he noted.

  I raised my brows and shook my head from side to side. “You’re telling me. Come on, we need to get a move on. My wife can’t do it all alone.”

  It wasn’t until we were outside that I explained why I needed Josh’s help. “So, most of the stores are closed, and I know for a fact there’s a turkey fryer somewhere in the attic of the old storage barn. I need you to help me dig it out.”

  “What for? Shouldn’t you have thought about this days ago?”

&
nbsp; I grinded my teeth together. “Look, I forgot to turn on the oven this morning. I’ve got a thawed twenty-five pound turkey that won’t cook in time. Shut up and help.”

  He threw up his hand while becoming amused at my situation. “Everyone said you were going to fuck this up.”

  “Suck my dick, Josh. I’ll make it work, even if I have to do it myself.”

  “Wouldn’t it be easier to ask your dad where he put it?”

  “That, my cousin, would imply I’ve failed, and it’s not an option. As far as my parents are concerned, everything is under control.”

  “You can’t have Thanksgiving without a turkey. It’s like sinning in church.”

  “You’d know all about that, wouldn’t you?” He’d recently been rumored to have taken the preacher’s daughter down in the basement. Apparently, according to my sister who loved to gossip, he’d been caught with two hands up her dress, while on his knees. Since then, she said his parents hadn’t been forcing him to go with them, on account of being completely embarrassed.

  “Hey, it’s not my fault she couldn’t keep her hands off me. I told you, I’ve got mad skills.”

  “Well,” I rolled my eyes. “Use your mad skills to help me find the damn turkey fryer.”

  After climbing the wobbly ladder to make it to the storage area of the old barn, Josh and I scrambled through years of junk to locate the missing turkey fryer. Nearly an hour of searching had taken place when we heard someone’s voice coming from the lower area. “What the hell are you two doing?” It was my father, Tyler. He was standing with his hands on his hips looking up into the loft area where we remained.

  “I’m looking for something.”

  “It’s Thanksgiving morning. What could you be looking for up there?”

  He wasn’t going to leave until I made something up. “Christmas decorations – the ones with the big balls.”

  My dad scratched his head, seeming to be considering my truthfulness. “Your mother seems to think you need help. Maybe she was speaking literally, like mental help. Get your asses down and go make sure your wife isn’t burning down your house. You’re not moving back into our place with that crew. I love my grandkids, but I like it more when their parents come to pick them up.”

  “The food will be perfect. Don’t get your panties in a bunch, Dad. Amber has it under control. Go on, now. Be on your way, so we can get back to work.”

  My dad put his hands in his pockets and jingled around some loose change. “Well, alright then.” He turned to leave, only to say something right before walking out. “If you’re looking for the turkey fryer it’s out back in the shed. I used it last night. Your mom wanted to make sure we had something edible, just in case. See you all a little later.”

  I turned to Josh, seeing him laughing to himself. “Come on, Jax. You know it’s a little funny. Everyone has tasted Amber’s cooking. She’s got other qualities that make up for it.”

  I pointed toward him. “Don’t be looking at wife inappropriately. I’ll have to kick your ass.”

  He motioned his hands as if it were in peace. “Hey, looking isn’t against the rules. Don’t worry, I don’t plan on stealing her away. Nobody wants your sloppy seconds.”

  This made me laugh loudly. “Unless your name is Jake. He seems to like them.”

  “True.”

  I started moving toward the ladder. “Come on. Let’s go get the fryer and get the hell out of here. Amber’s probably freaking out, and I don’t want her knowing my parents prepared a backup turkey. She’ll get bent out of shape. It’s important I make sure tonight’s dinner is amazing, even if I have to drive somewhere and buy the prepared food to make it happen.”

  We were coming out of the barn when Josh spoke again. “You know, you might want to go ahead and start making some calls.”

  “Shut your mouth. We’re going to have a nice family gathering. Nothing will be burnt, and everyone will be impressed, including my parents.”

  “When this blows up in your face don’t get pissed about it.”

  I shoved him lightly. “When it doesn’t, you’re going to be the first to tell my wife how amazing it was, and you better keep your damn eyes on hers as you speak. If I catch you checking out my wife, I’ll kick your ass until Sunday comes around.”

  He seemed to accept that I wasn’t messing around. It was bad enough how wherever we went men stared at her, even women. She was stunning, and all mine. No woman could compare to my wife, and the way she made me feel each and every day. Even if dinner turned out awful, I’d still be sitting next to her eating every single bite. That’s how much she meant to me.

  When I arrived back at the house Amber had the laptop on the kitchen counter. She was listening to a video on how to fry the turkey. I walked up behind her and reached my hands around her small framed waist. “How’s it going?”

  She didn’t move from our position. “Did you find it?”

  “Of course. I told you I would.”

  “I’ve managed to get all the casseroles in the oven with the timers set. The sausage stuffing balls will be the last to go in. Don’t forget to remind me to do that. I’ve got the cheesecake thawing, and the fresh cranberries are in the refrigerator. I tasted them already, and they turned out so sweet. Oh, and I also made sure the stewed tomatoes were ready to reheat for just before dinner is served.”

  “What about the rolls?”

  “We have two kinds, and a loaf of fresh bread from the market. The hors d'oeuvres will be out around three. We just need to pop them in the oven right before. Reese is going to take some stuff over to their house so everything will fit.”

  I spun her around to face me. “We’re going to pull this off, baby. It’ll be great.”

  “Just promise me you’ll take care of the turkey.”

  “I promise.”

  She smiled, which caused me to do the same. “It was nice getting that call this morning about the movie. I know I can’t take the job, but it’s great knowing someone asked for me.”

  I stroked her cheek, moving a few loose hairs and tucking them behind her ear. “I wish there was some way we could make it work. You know I’d do whatever you wanted. I know how much it means to you.”

  “Jax, you and the girls are what’s important. If I’m never in a movie I’ll be fine. If I spent the holidays away from you three, I’d never forgive myself.”

  “That’s good to hear. It never hurts to get extra reassurance.”

  She kissed me gently on the lips. “If today turns out okay, I’ll give you an extra special dessert later.”

  I reached down and pinched her ass as I spoke. “I’ll make damn sure it’s perfect, because I know there’s a delicious pie waiting for me now.”

  “You’re terrible,” she teased while separating us.

  “You wouldn’t have it any other way.”

  Just then I saw the swinging door to the living room coming ajar. Two little girls ran while screaming, being chased by their aunt who was pretending to be a cat. They clung to both my legs once reaching me, acting as if she were really going to harm them. “Dude, leave my girls alone or I’ll sick a big dog on you.”

  Reese rolled her eyes. “Big dog? You’re more like a cute Pomeranian. You can bite ankles, but not do much damage.”

  There was a lot I could have said to come back at her, but one look at my wife told me I better behave. “Girls, pretend to be big dogs. Go get her!”

  They looked at me with their bright brown eyes and matching dimples for a brief moment, contemplating if my idea would work. Then, almost at the exact time, I watched them go after Reese, chasing her back into the other room.

  Amber had her hands on her hips, giving me a look of approval. “You really want that pie later, don’t you?”

  “You’re damn right, I do.” I smacked her lightly on the ass. “I’m going to clean out the fryer. If you need me I’ll be outside.”

  When I walked out of the house I finally felt as if we were going to pull Thanksgiving dinner
off without another major catastrophe. For once, things seemed to be looking up, instead of turning to complete shit.

  Chapter 4

  Jake

  I hadn’t thought this completely through. Was I really willing to trap myself in a small metal living space for an entire month? Would Amber even go for it?

  Since it seemed like Reese was on board, I decided in some ways I still owed Jax for betraying his trust so long ago. Sure, everything turned out better than either of us could have imagined, but the road to redemption had been rocky.

  At any rate, I’d already arrived at the motorhome business in hopes of being able to make Amber’s dreams of being in a movie a reality.

  An older man came walking out a side door of the house located next to the business. He was patting down his white hair as it blew in the wind. With a hand extended, he stopped in front of me. “Welcome to RV World. I’m big Joe.”

  “Hey, Joe. I used to attend school with your son, Joe Jr. We played football together.”

  “I remember. You and your brother were a force to be reckoned with. It’s a shame you didn’t go pro, son. You both had potential.”

  “Yeah, well life kind of happened instead. Speaking of which, that’s sort of the reason I’m here. I’m sorry to come on Thanksgiving, but we’ve run out of options. You see, my sister-in-law is a model.”

  “Yeah, I know the one.” He snickered. “Small town. Everyone knows everything.”

  “True. The thing is, she’s been offered a part in a movie, but she and my brother have twins girls, and the schedule would take her away from them for a month. I’m not real sure how this is going to play out, but my fiancée and I thought if we could rent an RV we’d be able to keep them together for the holidays.”

  He rubbed his chin as if he was considering my idea. “I don’t normally rent RVs.”

  Just when I was about to feel defeated, he reiterated. “But I know your daddy, and his for that matter. You come from good people, so I’m sure I’ve got something on this lot that will get you where you need to go. You sure you’re not interested in buying one of these? I’ve got a great one that’s been sitting here for a year.”