Shaxoa's Gift

by Gladden, DelSheree

  My hands closed around the thermos. Its cool metal pressed up against my chest made promises I knew it couldn’t keep. Uriah told me I was stronger than I thought I was all the time. He told me I could do anything I wanted, that not my dad or anyone else could stop me from making my life everything I wanted it to be. It was time to find out whether or not he was right.

  “Answer the door,” I whispered.

  The sound of her feet shuffling across the floor became the only sound in the world. I didn’t breathe or move. I just waited. The door knob creaked as Quaile turned it. The quiet pop of the door seal breaking as she pulled it open was louder than a thunderclap. Aching, furious, deceptive desire rushed in like a sandstorm, beating and blinding me in an instant. I could hear words being exchanged distantly, but pain and desire lashing me shut out everything else.

  “Claire?”

  His voice snapped my eyes open. The tortured agony seeping out of him drew another gasping sob from my body. He looked as terrible as I felt. I clutched the thermos even tighter, refusing to let my hands reach out to him.

  “Claire, I couldn’t stay away. I had to see you again. I tried to tell you I was coming, but you hung up on me.”

  Every word was like a drug, breaking down my defenses against the bond. He moved a step closer to me and my eyes flew around wildly for some escape or help. They landed on Quaile standing quietly in the corner. Her presence was a pillar of strength. She radiated that arrogant pride that also made people want to slap her, but for once I latched onto it. I trusted her when she said this was the only way to have Uriah. She believed I could do this. I had to believe it too.

  “Daniel,” I said, quietly, testing my strength. He stepped forward eagerly. I held the thermos out in front of me like a shield. He paused, uncertain. I forced myself to meet his eyes squarely. “Do you have any idea what is in this?”

  He shook his head slowly. His finger twitched. I could tell he was barely holding back the urge to grab me.

  “Uriah brought me this, Daniel. It’s a potion that will sever the bond between us,” I said.

  His eyes flared wide. “Claire, no! Please don’t drink it. I’m begging you, Claire.”

  Fire burst through my veins at his pleas. My strength wavered. The desire to let him take me in his arms and prove his love rippled through me like poison. “I’m not going to drink it,” I gasped.

  The attack lessened as Daniel’s eye lit up. Mistaking my reasons for not drinking it, he rushed forward. I scrambled out of the chair and banged into the kitchen counter behind me. My reaction was enough to slow him, though he kept stepping toward me slowly.

  “I’m not going to drink it because this potion will take more than the bond away from me, Daniel. It will make it so I could never love anyone again. It will keep me from caring about Uriah, and I can’t let that happen,” I said. “Do you know why?”

  “No,” he said, his eyes locked with mine. Each step he took doubled the bond’s pull. I edged to the side in an effort to get away from him.

  “I can’t stop caring about Uriah, because if I do, I won’t want to help him anymore. And if I don’t help him, he’ll die.”

  I counted on what he said about liking and respecting Uriah being true. It was a good bet. Daniel stopped and frowned at me. “What do you mean he’ll die?”

  “The creature that attacked you when Uriah was bringing you to me, Uriah is on his way to kill it, but he can’t do it without my help. If I don’t follow him, he’ll try to kill the Matwau and fail. He’ll die and it will be my fault, Daniel.”

  His face wrinkled in confusion. “But you said you weren’t going to drink it.”

  Reaching the kitchen sink, I unscrewed the lid of the thermos. “I’m not.”

  For a moment, I couldn’t make myself tip it. The scents and magic within spilled out and wrapped around me. The whispered promises of forgetting Daniel and spending the rest of my life with Uriah tempted me to press the thermos to my lips. My head swam under the onslaught. It was with trembling fingers I finally tilted the thermos enough to watch its contents spill out, down the drain, gone forever. The empty thermos clattered into the sink after the last remnants of the potion.

  Breaking the bond was up to me now. There was no turning back, no easy way out. I faced Daniel again, who wore a very confused expression. “I’m not coming with you, either,” I told him. “I’d be doing the same thing to Uriah by giving into the bond, Daniel. If I let myself love you, I’ll be giving up on Uriah. I’ll be letting him die.”

  “No,” Daniel argued, “we could help him together, Claire. I wouldn’t ask you to abandon Uriah if he really needed you.”

  I shook my head harshly at him and the bond that was trying to tell me together was better than alone. “I can only help him if I let you go, Daniel. It’s the only way to save his life.”

  “But…but, I love you, Claire.”

  “No you don’t, and I don’t love you. Not really.” His mouth opened to argue some more, but I interrupted him. “You’ve never been in love before, Daniel. I know, because if you had, you would realize how fake the bond felt.”

  “It doesn’t feel fake to me, Claire.”

  “The first time Uriah and I really spoke, I was in trouble and I needed help. I trusted him to save me more than anyone else. I knew he would never let me down because I had grown up watching him and getting to know what a kind and genuine person he was. When we started dating, he changed me for the better. He took all my weaknesses and turned them into strengths. Any time I was scared, he was there to comfort me. No matter how bad things got for me, Uriah could make everything better just by being near me. I have never doubted, not even once, that Uriah loves me,” I said. “Have you ever felt that way about another person?”

  His shoulders slumped, but the words seemed to be a struggle for him to get out. “No, I haven’t,” he finally managed to say.

  “Do you feel that way about me?” I asked.

  At first he looked eager to assure me that he did, but his brow creased.

  “Think about it, Daniel. What have I done that deserves your love? Is there anything I’ve done that makes you want to give up everything for me? You can’t even say that you don’t doubt my love, because I’m telling you right now that I don’t love you like you think I do. I love Uriah, and I always will.”

  He didn’t say anything. I could feel the bond pulsating around him, pushing him not to listen to me. It was doing the same to me, but I was surer than ever that I could defeat this.

  “One day, Daniel, you’ll meet someone who does for you what Uriah has done for me. She’ll make you excited just to wake up in the morning. Every choice you make will be for her happiness. She’ll change you in wonderful ways you can’t even imagine right now. This girl will be the reason for your existence. You will crave to be near her, not because something is telling you that you should, but because you’ll know you could never be truly happy without her by your side. You’ll kiss her and your world will stop just so you can make the moment last a little longer. You’ll never doubt she loves you, and she’ll never walk away from you. That’s the kind of love you want, Daniel. Not this. You shouldn’t have to try to convince me to love you. You deserve better than that.”

  “You really believe that?” Daniel asked with tears in his eyes.

  “Yes, I do.”

  “How can you be so sure I’ll find someone like that?” he asked.

  “Because I’ve already found that in Uriah. I know you will too, Daniel, but you have to let go of me first,” I said.

  Closing the distance between us, Daniel stopped just short of touching me. The bond battered against me, trying to find a way in, but there was doubt in Daniel’s heart now, too. It was losing its hold on us. Daniel’s doubt, though, was a tenuous thing. He looked up at me through tortured eyes. “I don’t know if I can let you go, Claire.”

  The whispered urge to touch him fluttered through my heart, but it didn’t come from the bond. It came from a d
ifferent source entirely, one I listened to. My fingers closed around his and I stopped looking at Daniel. Images popped in and out of my mind. A dozen, a hundred, a lifetime full of memories yet to be made. When they left me, I saw Daniel again, watching me with a pensive expression.

  Tears ran down my cheeks as I said, “Let me go, Daniel. She’s waiting for you. She’s waiting to make you happier than you could ever be with me.”

  “Who’s waiting?” he asked eagerly.

  “Go home.”

  “But…”

  I smiled at him warmly. “You’re going to have to trust me, Daniel.”

  There was no sound in the little mud brick house. Daniel’s fingers tightened around mine, loosened, retightened. His eyes stared at nothing as his mind tumbled through everything I had just said to him. The room was filled with the bond’s manipulative power, but my heart begged Daniel to listen to me. Daniel’s eyes closed and he leaned closer to me. My panic spiked as his mouth drew close to my ear.

  “The funny thing about this bond,” Daniel said, “is that even while it’s trying to push us together, it connects me to you in a way that lets me know you aren’t lying. No matter how much I want it right now, no matter how good it feels to be this close to you, you’re never going to love me like you love him.”

  He pulled back just far enough that I could see his face again. It obviously hurt him greatly to admit that, but his pain was tempered with hope that this wouldn’t be his only chance at love.

  “I’m sorry, Daniel,” I said quietly.

  “Me too.” His lips turned up at the corners. “Can I just do one thing? To be sure?”

  “What?” I asked.

  Rather than answer, he leaned in and pressed his lips against mine. The bond staggered us as its power coursed through our bodies. The intensity that should have brought on waves of lust and desire sickened me with its force. One last ditch effort to control our lives, it shoved its will into every pore. It was a relief when Daniel finally pulled back. His forehead rested against mine, his expression looking only slightly apologetic, and largely pleased with himself. I recognized the look. It usually accompanied Cole saying something like, “Well, I had to try.”

  “Are you sure?” Daniel asked quietly. “Are you sure she’s waiting for me?”

  “Yes,” I whispered in answer to both questions.

  Daniel’s arms wrapped around me tightly. I hugged him back. “Goodbye, Claire.”

  His arms slid from around my body and watched him silently as he walked to the door. He paused there, looking back one final time. The bond persisted right up until he closed the door and sealed his decision. My knee buckled and dropped me to the floor as the pull to abandon Uriah suddenly receded. It felt like I had just swallowed a secret addiction. It nestled somewhere deep inside of me, ready to be called back up if I ever wanted it, but silent until that time when weakness would make me give in again. I wasn’t free by any means, but I cried and laughed and watched my tears splash against the hardwood floor.

  The purest feeling of joy washed through me, cleansing me of the agony and torture of the last few days. Daniel was still a part of me, but rather than the terror and panic I held against him, there was also excitement for him to find someone new. I was free enough to walk away from him and find Uriah. My heart and soul were irreparably damaged. They bore the scars of a devastating battle just as my body did, but they would both heal. All I needed now was to find Uriah.

  Putting my hand on the counter to pull myself back up in case my trembling body refused to support me, I looked over at Quaile. I wanted to dance around the room in celebration. I wanted to relish in the conditional freedom I had been granted, but there wasn’t time for that.

  “Thank you, Quaile, for convincing me to do that,” I said. I walked over to her with tears streaming down my face.

  “The bond isn’t broken,” she reminded me. “If you falter even a little, if you let an angry word or hurt feelings make you doubt Uriah’s love for you, or yours for him, the bond will take hold of you again. It will bring you to your knees, Claire. Don’t forget. Never forget that.”

  “I won’t, Quaile.” Gripping her hands, I pushed away my elation and focused on what I still needed. I was sure I could hold out against the return of the bond for eternity, but Uriah was about to fall into the same trap. “Tell me where Uriah is,” I begged. “I know you know how to find him. He is going to need my help. I won’t let him face this alone.”

  Quaile watched me carefully. Her clear, bright eyes pierced me, searching for something. Whether she found it or not, she nodded and answered me. “I may know how to find him,” Quaile said. She took a small slip of paper out of her pocket. Hobbling over to her phone, she dialed the number slowly.

  Quaile turned her back to me, protecting whatever information she might gain, as usual. It should have been aggravating. I should have been wringing my hands in worry for Uriah, even for his Twin Soul, but suppressing the Twin Soul bond was too intoxicating to allow room for much else at the moment. I reveled in the freedom from constant agony while Quaile carried on with her hushed conversation in the kitchen.

  The soft click of the phone hanging up brought me to her side. “Did you find him?” I asked. Quaile shook her head.

  “Not exactly. The shaman he went to thought he was heading northeast, maybe to Colorado. They haven’t heard from him since he left, but he has a cell phone with him.” Quaile handed me a slip of paper with carefully scrawled numbers on it. “I am not sure whether he will answer it, but you can try.”

  I held the paper and smiled in relief. “Thank you, Quaile.”

  Stuffing the paper in my pocket, I wanted to run after him that second, but I had one more request. Quaile seemed to sense there was more and faced me with a cautious air.

  “What is it, Claire?” Quaile asked.

  “I need the book.”

  “What book?”

  “The one you already know isn’t meant for you,” I said.

  Her head shook slowly. Her hands trembled, but she tried to deny any knowledge of what I was referring to. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Claire.”

  “Yes you do. You already know you aren’t the one meant to help Uriah. If you were, you would have taught him what he needed to know a long time ago, you would have gone with him. You know the book doesn’t belong to you.”

  “How can you know that,” she whispered.

  “Bhawana wasn’t the only one to have a vision about Uriah, but you already know that. It’s time to pass the book on to someone else. It’s time to pass it on to the person who was meant to use it,” I said.

  “Who?” she asked. “Are you going to take it to the shaman in Hano?”

  The answer should have been plain to her. I shook my head. “No, I won’t take it to Hano.”

  “Then who?” she asked, her voice trailing off at the end as her eyes widened. Her lips moved soundlessly, whatever words she wanted to speak not making it past her lips until a hand came up to cover her mouth entirely. Finally, her body sagged in defeat. “I thought you were just saying what you said about a girl waiting for Daniel to persuade him to leave you. You meant it, didn’t you? You knew he would find someone else.”

  “Yes.”

  “How?”

  “The same way I hurt Uriah every time I touch him. Did you even know I did that to him?” I asked. All the wondering, the searching, and Quaile had the answer the whole time.

  “You…” Her eyes widened even further. “No, I didn’t know that. I had no idea. I waited and waited for some sign of who was going to help him if it wasn’t me.”

  “The answer was right under your nose the whole time, Quaile. You were just too busy ruining people’s lives to see it,” I said.

  She sank back into her chair, a withered woman. Quaile shook her head in defeat. “It’s too late, now. There’s no hope for him.”

  “Yes, there is, Quaile. There’s still time,” I said with certainty. “Give me the book. It
belongs to me. I’m the only one who can use it. I’m the only one who can help Uriah defeat the Matwau.”

  “It was you all along,” Quaile whispered. “I was wrong, Claire. I was wrong about the bond.”

  I stared at her, having no idea what she meant. For once, Quaile didn’t hold back. Her weathered face turned up to look at me, letting me see the tears spilling down her cheeks. Her trembling lips turned up in an expression completely foreign to her. Quaile smiled.

  “I know how to break the bond.”

  32: Hope

  Quaile’s fingers trembled as she took the battered, leather bound book from her bookshelf. She held it out for me. I had gotten sidetracked by the potion and by Daniel, but along with finding out where Uriah was, the book was the real reason I had come to confront her. My own hand shook as I took it from her. My dad told me everything. By taking the book, I was choosing my path. I was choosing the path my dad had worked so hard to make sure I would never take. There was no doubt in mind that it was the right one, though. Cradling the book in my arms, I said goodbye to Quaile and began my journey, knowing full well that its most likely outcome would be my death.

  The End of Book Two

  Also by DelSheree Gladden

  Escaping Fate

  Twin Souls: Book One of the Twin Souls Saga

  Qaletaqa: Book Three of the Twin Souls Saga

  Inquest: Book One of the Destroyer Trilogy

  (Coming 2012)

  Check out this Sneak Peek of

  Qaletaqa

  Book Three of the Twin Souls Saga