Finally Heaven (Room 103 Book 4)

by Sidebottom, D H

  Spirit has been fucking astounding. She hasn’t touched a drink or a speck of the bad stuff and I’m so proud of her. She says she needs to feel me all the time, and that I have filled the gap that only drink and drugs could fill. But she doesn’t realise that she’s the one that fills the hole in my own soul. I’ll never forget Shona or Dylan. They watch over me and Brandon, I know they do. I feel them, just as Spirit says she feels Amy watch over her. But now, I feel their smiles, their love and their happiness instead of the pain that I dragged around with me.

  So, we come to the end, huh? Been a bit of a rollercoaster ride hasn’t it. But we all made it. Even you. Kindle’s make it? I bet there’s quite a few that have been bounced around.

  But life is good, very good. I miss the guys but we skype constantly and we’re always to and froing to each other’s so all of us are still pretty much tight. We always will be. We’re each other’s family, each other’s support. One of hurts, then we all hurt. One of is hurt, then the rest of us hurt whoever hurt one of us. That make sense? I hope so.

  I hope our journey has given you a smile and a laugh… well we have Boss, of course you’ve laughed. He’s on his way over by the way. But I just wanted to pop in and say thank you. For taking me and my family and seeing us through to the end.

  Life is so unpredictable but it can also be full of the most amazing love. Spirit has taught me that, but so have the guys, I’d die for them, every one of them and I have no doubt they feel the same for me.

  So, anyway, you all take care, Boss has finally put down the mic. You’re honoured. I hope we leave you with a smile and a full heart. Because you all made sure that mine was full before you left.

  See ya’

  THE BOSS IS here. Sit down, you don’t need to stand for me. Hi. Let me introduce you to Tristan and Tillie, the latest addition to the family. Jen still wouldn’t back down and let me call them Batman and Robin but… get this, for Christmas I’ve bought them their very own little Batman and Catwoman costumes. Awesome huh. Don’t tell Jen though, I like my bollocks where they are, and not swinging off the washing line. Oh and we have a single, yes you heard that right, just a single one, coming in about six months. Told you my shooters were tough little buggers. No one listened. Super sperm you see.

  Anyway, life is good, actually it’s better than that, it’s great. Well it is for Jen, she has me as a husband.

  So how are you all? Been quite a while hasn’t it. I just wanted to pop my head in and say Hi before you all bugger off to bed.

  I miss the band but then I don’t, you know what I mean. We still all get together as much as possible. The girls still do their weekly facial shit and we still do beer and games.

  We’re off to the cottage for Christmas, all of us. Be a tight squeeze but the girls will be in the kitchen for the most time so there’ll be more than enough sofa space for me and the guys to watch TV and chill.

  Oh have you seen my latest scar. That one there. I’m proud of that one. I managed to catch Jen before she slipped in the shower. Yeah, get me, holding up my woman in the shower. We have come quite the way. Although she says she only slipped because I clung on to her when my foot shot forward. That’s not true. She dropped the damn soap. It wasn’t my fault I stood on it. Anyway now she understands my reluctance to dip my dick in a place that was made for cleaning my dick and not sex. But saying that, the sex was actually worth it.

  So… we come to the end of the road. Oh God. Jax is coming so I need to be quick. Then again, he might have all of three words for you, you lucky devils.

  I just wanna say, I love you all. Yeah, but you all know I’m a soppy shit by now. I’m gonna miss you all. Well not when you’re all watching me take a leak, that’s not a good thing… but I don’t mind you sharing everything else.

  Oh, I almost forgot. Jen has mastered that strip tease. I know, your smiles are as big as mine. She’s fucking awesome. Come here, lean closer, I don’t want anyone else to hear this bit.

  She’s learnt to pole dance. I know!!!! Fucking – hell!! My dick dances with her. Fucking brilliant. She did get me to try. That didn’t work out so well, but the plaster only had to stay on for six weeks then I was as good as new.

  Oooh God. Jax ‘the fuck babe’ Cooper is here. Time for me to go. But… well, cheers. Your love and … oh and I have to say thank you to Sav for the sausages… fucking hell, baby, they were fucking amazing. Can you get me some more? We can’t get that flavour over here. Let me know anyway, just leave a message with DH.

  Right, that’s me done. Smile… we had fun didn’t we? Of course we did. I’m gonna miss you all though. Oh god stop it, I’m filling up. Shit. I don’t wanna say goodbye. It’s sad. Bloody hell, I’m fucking off.

  Luv ya’ all

  HEY. YA’ HEAR me?

  For a change I have no words.

  Sad isn’t it. The end. Hate ends. But I smile, yeah, cos’ well, shit, we did it. We got here. And I know, without ya’ all…

  It doesn’t feel like long ago I saw a fresh faced E, her perky little tits covered in just a tiny little bra in Cam’s kitchen. Fuck. Fucking epic tits. She still has them by the way… her tits. Yeah, she’s okay. They removed the lump, she had chemo. Right as shit again. She daren’t leave me alone anyway. Fuck, poor Lily would never grow up right.

  Fuck, my heart hurts. Is goodbye supposed to hurt this much?

  We’ve all grown up with one another. The journey here has been one that I will never forget. The bumps in the road wouldn’t have given us the ride of our lives if they were flat. That make sense? You know how I struggle with words.

  But see this smile. This says it all.

  Look at them all, my family. When Mary Ann died, I thought I would never smile again. But those guys, they didn’t give me a choice. They made sure they dragged me through the storm until I saw the sun again. Just as you all have. You’ve taken all of us and nurtured us, made sure we got to where we needed to be.

  I think, throughout it all, for all we have lost on this journey, that Room 103 has its own set of angels that guards us. Mary Ann, Kara, E’s mum, Shona… Nick… they all watch over us and make sure our hearts keep beating.

  That’s my thoughts anyway.

  But now, now it’s time to turn the page and reach the end. But our stories, our lives will continue in every one of you.

  None of us will ever forget the first page, the start of our journeys here. And none of us will truly ever let go. Because whenever we want to remember, we can turn to that first page and live it all again. We can laugh, we can cry and we can fall in love all over again.

  So, the guys are all here to say goodbye. Queen’s, We Are The Champions is playing on full blast and our glasses are full.

  So, raise them in the air. Wipe those tears. And smile.

  And altogether.

  “To freedom. To friends. And to god damn motherfucking ROOM 103!”

  There are so many people I want to thank that there isn’t enough words in the world.

  My betas. Vickie, Michelle, Charlie, Di, Ker, Kelly, Di, Terrie and Kim. Room 103 wouldn’t be what it is without you. You smile with me, cry with me and take each word to heart just as I do. Thank you ladies.

  To all you Room 103 fans. You have loved the guy’s as I have. You have laughed with them, held their hands and encouraged them, and I just know you will be hurting as much as I am right now. But hopefully, the guy’s will be back with small holiday capers and updates into their lives.

  The six friends that are my complete support structure. Vickie, Michelle, Nikki, Kelly, Ker and Debbie. I love every single one of you. Thank you for taking my shit, my tears and my craziness and giving it right back.

  To Stacey at Champagne Formatting for doing an awesome job as always.

  To my street team, The Kittens, who take time out of your lives to help promote and get me out there.

  To my family for feeding me.

  To the Oh So Sexy ladies for making every day a good one and giving me many laughs.<
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  And finally, to my children, and very recently my new adorably gorgeous grandson. You give me a reason to breathe and make my heart beat every day. I am so proud of each of you. Life is hard, but as a family, we face it together.

  Links

  Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/DHSidebottom

  Website: http://dhsidebottom.co.uk

  Twitter: https://twitter.com/DHSidebottom

  Amazon page: http://www.amazon.co.uk/D-H-Sidebottom/e/B00C3ELG1I/ref=ntt_athr_dp_pel_1

  Spotify playlists: 1180393704

  Champagne Formats: https://www.facebook.com/ChampagneFormats?ref=br_tf

  Out Now

  The Devil visited me three times in my life; albeit, my short life. Not in the physical sense, you must understand, but very much literally.

  He was persistent, resolute and tenacious. His ruthless greed to annihilate me was utterly disturbing. I am sure if he had hierarchy, the man at the top would have dragged his arse into Hell’s prison for his unscrupulous methods.

  I was just fifteen when I first became aware of what he was capable of. This initial taste of him set the playing field for how my life was to be lived – for want of a better word.

  He mocked me, showed me mercilessly how he played the game and how he liked to cheat at said game. He ridiculed and taunted me until, six months later, he won and took something of so much importance from me that I would never be the same again.

  His second visit was, in my eyes, so much more cruel and heartless. I know we’re talking about the Devil here, and yes, you have a right to say he had no heart but even then, even when I was so utterly broken, I begged to differ and hoped – no, prayed – that somewhere deep in the caverns of his black, tortured soul there was something that beat and confused his emotions once in a while.

  The third visit was somewhat different than the other two. He tried, and at first succeeded to bring me to my knees once and for all, but then something happened. God finally intervened and altered Satan’s intention; he sent hope and morphed the Devil’s minion into an Angel, hoping to break and shatter the anguish and suffering. He gave the ability for me to feel pleasure in pain, order in the chaos and light in the darkness.

  But in giving me a reprieve, he also gave me something that would finally and ultimately obliterate me. He gave me the capability to love, therefore giving me the ability to be destroyed.

  And Satan made sure that I was destroyed. Cruelly, viciously and sadistically.

  I am Mae Swift, and this is the story of my decimation.

  You meet someone. You date. You fall in love. You marry.

  The four simple rules of love….

  Wrong! I’m married but I’d never met him before now, never dated him, never fell in love. I have no access to the memories of the most magical time of anyone’s life.

  My mind won’t allow me to evoke the past, I can’t remember those four simple stages.

  I can’t comprehend why I would have ever married someone like Dante. I should never have passed the first stage, although, I may have seen him through the eyes of the woman I once was, this me that lives, breathes here now, can’t understand how we made it to the next stage.

  I’m not sure, without memories, how I know that this voice inside me, telling me I would never have chosen him, speaks some truth, I just know. He’s controlling, arrogant, callous and violent, and utterly hell bent on humiliating and degrading me – Like watching me falter, watching me struggle to comply and be the woman he married, powers him- as though he wants to break me piece by piece. Fibre by fibre. Until all that’s here is the shell he created from a soul that I once owned.

  Now my memories are slowly returning. And they show me a completely different side to meeting him. Our dates, falling in love. The Dante haunting me in the shadows of my mind is loving, gentle and utterly enamoured with me, nothing like the man with me now.

  And this is what taunts me. My tender lover turned into a debauched, cruel sadist who is determined to consume my life, destroy my mind and murder my spirit.

  I am, Star, and just like with some stars in the sky, the light you see is an echo, a façade, I am already gone

  I am a no one.

  Especially to him. To him I am the dark in his desires, the corrupt in his depravity.

  The sin in his immorality.

  I was invisible, until they saw me...

  When circumstance forced me and the Jacob twins to spend two weeks of the summer together, the bond we formed would impact us all, altering our lives.

  Fate, entwining us forever.

  They became my best friends, my family, my first love.

  With their love came their father's hate!

  Love is powerful but also painful and destructive when it's torn between three people. When my mother's reputation and their father's vile actions damage that love, that friendship, it changes the dynamics of our trio setting me on a path of love, loss and impossible decisions.

  Jared the beautiful rogue, who pushed her limits, opened her eyes and owned her heart. Their love was powerful, everlasting... until he abandoned her. Justin, loyal and true, picked her up when she was left fragmented. He made a place for himself in her heart and would fight to keep it.

  When both twins come in and out of Meadows life, leaving damage and hurt in their wake, will she ever choose one or the other, or leave them both without the beats in their heart?...

  Buy on Amazon

  Coming Soon

  Judgement 8

  By D H Sidebottom

  Prologue

  The edges were blurring, the white at the corner of my eyes closing in. My heart was beating too fast, the thud in my chest crippling me as I struggled to breathe against it.

  My skin was over sensitive, the static in the air pulsing around me, the glow almost blinding.

  “She’s going into shock!”

  I tried to open my eyes, tell them I was good but the heaviness drawing my lids closed refused my order. Attempting to shake my head when I felt a prick at my skin I whimpered, shivering at the cold rush of fluid through my veins.

  “Call Janice. Tell her the data won’t process. She’s blocking us.”

  My lips were numb, frozen together under the flurry of ice racing through my system. My whole body felt alive, over-stimulated and pulsing with energy. The rush made me dizzy but strangely euphoric.

  “Elina. Elina can you hear me?”

  Another sharp scratch at my skin poured liquid fire through me, the heat burrowing deep into my nerve endings and firing shots of lava into my muscles, solidifying my blood until it felt like thick sludge squeezing my arteries wider, fortifying me from the inside.

  I gasped at air, my fists clenching with the agony tearing through me. Something snapped and a sound whooshed by my ears. My body surged forwards, my fingers clenching with a need, a craving to destroy and massacre the only thing I could concentrate on, the urge too powerful to defy.

  “Fuck!” someone shouted loudly, penetrating the haze in my head. “Lock us down!”

  Red lights flared behind my eyelids, a siren piercing my brain, its vibration invigorating my senses. My eyes snapped open.

  His face reddened, my fingers around his throat making his eyes bulge. I couldn’t stop the screaming inside my brain. The pain was excruciating, bringing with it a violent need to vomit.

  “Elina!”

  There were several of them. Each white coat drawing nearer, each of their hands in front of them trying to placate my wrath.

  That’s when the buzzing started, the high pitched wail in my skull.

  And that’s when every single bulb in the room exploded, plunging me into darkness.

  Book 2 in the Deception series

  By Ker Dukey & D H Sidebottom

  Cade.

  He had her love. Her devotion. He destroyed her with it!

  Years I loved Faye Avery from a distance, watched my brother have something he didn’t deserve. She was always too good for him. Dante had a ne
ed for control and that grew with him from childhood, infecting her to bend to his whim.

  When Dante abandoned her, the girl who put his future and needs before her own, I rediscovered the girl who lost herself to the heartache. She blossomed and flourished in the light of the love she deserved - until he robbed me of her. Breaking her down, dimming the essence of the woman she had become.

  Dante had a darkness inside him that led him down a path of depravity. He was too far gone. He functioned on corruption, humiliation, power and retribution, and all for something that never happened.

  What he forgets is this! I not only wear his face, I carry the darkness inside of me too, and my wrath will coat him with it so thick he will drown under the rain of my reckoning.

  He wants Star, a memory of a girl he used to know. He stole Faye, a woman who owns my heart and is the cadence in mine.

  I will find him.

  I will find him. I will take her from him.

  And then I will kill him.