Accent Hussy (It Had 2 B U)

by V. Kelly

  “Bobby Flannigan deserved it! He pulled my pigtail!” I yell a little too loudly, drawing some interesting looks from the people around us. “He didn’t have nuts anyway; they hadn’t dropped yet.”

  “I doubt they ever did after you got done with him. Poor guy is testicle-less now.”

  “I probably did the world a favor. Bobby Flannigan liked to flick his boogers. People like that don’t function well in society.”

  My mom and the lady helping us chuckle. It’s the truth; Bobby Flannigan flicked boogers like a pro-athlete. He once flicked a booger so far it landed on the white board. True story.

  After check-in, sexy Maddox appears from out of nowhere. His smile says it all. He’s as attracted to me as I am to him. “Let me help you with those, Beautiful.” I’m not as attracted to American accents as I am foreign, but today’s not the day to be picky about accents. His Bostonian one shall do for now. Maddox grabs my bags again and personally escorts me to the elevator. All of my family and Max’s friends crowd into the elevator with him.

  The hotel couldn’t book us all rooms on the same floor, especially since Max and Breezy are staying in a honeymoon suite, so my room is on floor fourteen while everyone else’s are on different floors. Floor six, my mom and dad get off. Maddox helps them with their bags and tells me to hold the elevator for him. The other six passengers turn to look at me, each with the same expression of shocked amusement. I shrug my shoulders.

  “You just had to find the only guy in the hotel with an accent, huh?” Max teases.

  “My radar went haywire. There’s no turning it off when it hones in on an accent.” I pull Maddox’s accent off perfectly. Everyone in the elevator erupts in laughter.

  “Damn, Everly, that’s some party trick,” Dashawn exclaims.

  “My sister is a magician when it comes to throwing her voice. Too bad it’s never been used to my advantage.”

  As the doors to the elevator start to close, I stick my foot out keeping it open. “How would you use my accents to your advantage?”

  “I dunno, maybe when I played hooky at school, you could’ve posed as a teacher or something.”

  “Right, mom would recognize my voice within ten seconds. Nope, I’ll save my accent copying ways for the moments I need them.”

  “To pretend to be something you’re not?” Max asks.

  “To get me a man, and I’m pretty sure I found him in this hotel.”

  “Bellboy? Please tell me you aren’t going to ask him to service you.”

  “Let’s just say I plan on having him lift more than my bags when we get to my room.” I wink at my brother making him laugh.

  Max smiles and hands me a five-dollar bill.

  “What’s this for?”

  “A tip, for when you can’t afford his fees.”

  “What do you mean?” I ask, completely dumbfounded.

  “You’ll see.” Dashawn, Max, and Tony all start laughing at the same time. I’m not sure why having the hots for the bellboy is so funny to them. Maggie and Emma are laughing, too. It’s like everyone in this elevator is in on some big secret, and I have no idea what’s going on.

  Breezy pats me on the back and smiles. “Don’t worry, Everly. Let’s just say that Max had this trip planned out completely.”

  “Yeah, I’m sure Maddox will have no problem escorting you to your room.”

  This makes everyone in the elevator laugh even harder. I still don’t see what’s so funny, but I ignore them when I see the hot piece of man-candy turn the corner. I might as well be wearing edible underwear with the way his smile dissolves my panties.

  Max is practically keeling over because he’s laughing so hard. Breezy punches him in the gut, but that only makes him clutch his stomach more. Nobody is telling me what’s going on. I’m getting a little annoyed being the butt of everyone’s inside joke. After Emma, Tony, Dashawn and Maggie all get off on floor number nine, I nervously steal a glance at the sexy bellhop to see if he’s looking at me. He grins when I catch his gaze and my cheeks flush. The elevator comes to stop on floor fourteen, making my stomach bottom to my feet.

  I’m not sure why going to my room with this bellhop is making me nervous. Maybe it’s because he looks like sex on a stick, and I just want to gobble him all up, or it could be that every time he smiles at me, my pussy starts hyperventilating. It’s quivering and clenching like a fucking cat hacking up a hairball right now.

  “You two kids play nice,” Max shouts from the elevator just before the door closes. He misses the not-so-friendly gesture I throw his way, but Maddox notices and laughs.

  “That must be your brother,” he remarks, barely breaking a sweat as we make our way down the hallway. He lifts my bags like they are made of paper.

  “I think he’s adopted. Or maybe I’m adopted. One of us has to be adopted.”

  He laughs again. I notice I tiny scar on his lips. It creases when he laughs.

  “Sounds like you two don’t get along too well.”

  “Oh no, we get along just fine. He’s a Neanderthal; I’m pretty sure genetics did me more favors than him. Or I’m adopted, like I said. One of us has to be.” I start rambling when I’m nervous. Mr. Sexy bellhop has my ramblings on fast forward. If I talked any faster, I’m pretty sure my lips might just fall off.

  “Here’s your room,” he says, settling in front of the door. I nervously fiddle with the key. He’s standing so close to me that his breath caresses the tiny little hairs on the back of my neck. Once I get the door open, he follows me inside. I’m not sure why I’m so nervous. It’s not like he’s going to make a move on me. He’s a bellhop, for god’s sake. They’re supposed to be nice to people.

  He places my bags on the floor and just stands there smiling at me.

  “What?” I nibble on my lip. Somehow, lip nibbling calms me down.

  “You’re beautiful,” he exclaims, taking a step towards me. “I hope I’m not too forward, but maybe we can get dinner or something tonight. You look like you’re rocking it solo here in Vegas and that makes me sad. A girl who looks like you should not be in Vegas alone.” He takes another step towards me and runs his lotion-kissed hands across my forearms. He has a predator look in his eyes. My normal confident self retreats like a doe that’s being hunted. “This is so unprofessional of me, but ever since I saw those lips of yours, I’ve been dying to taste them.”

  Before I can stop him, sexy bellhop’s lips attack mine. When I say attack, I mean he has my bottom lip sucked into his mouth and between his teeth before I can even react to him. I want to push him off, but I haven’t been kissed like this in a month.

  When his left hand snakes up my shirt and presses against my skin, I freeze. Cool metal hits my skin. I pull away from him, completely disgusted with myself. Why didn’t I notice his ring before?

  “What’s wrong, Baby?” He asks. Suddenly that sex oozing off him has turned straight up pervy. Maddox is married, and he was just about to fondle my breasts.

  I wipe my mouth off and glare at him. “You’re fucking married,” I yell, pointing to his hand.

  “Is that a problem?” Ugh, he doesn’t see the problem in this equation. One plus one does not equal three!

  “Yes! That’s low and disgusting. I can’t believe you would make out with some random female when you’re rocking a gold band around your finger. What would your wife think?”

  “My wife works at the Chicken Ranch. It’s not like she isn’t putting herself out there either. I work hard for my tips, Sweetheart.”

  I just kissed hooker lips. If his wife is a prostitute, there’s no telling where his lips have been. Tips my ass. I’ll give him a tip.

  “Here’s a tip for you. Don’t kiss women who aren’t your wife.”

  “I kiss women all the time, it’s my job. Well, my second job. I’m an escort when I’m not working here.”

  “Escort! This just keeps getting better and better. Not only are you a cheating bastard, you’re a prostitute married to a prostitute.”

>   He only laughs. I can’t believe he thinks this is funny. I have one major rule when it comes to making out with strangers. NO RING! This guy broke my cardinal rule.

  “Thanks for helping me with my bags, but you can take that weak Boston accent of yours and hit the road, Jack. The only tip you’re getting from me is my heel straight up your ass if you get within ten inches of my lips again.”

  “Suit yourself, Dear. My mistake, I should’ve known better than to try to help a homely girl get some attention. Next time, I’ll stick to my cougars.”

  “You do that. Don’t let the door hit that well-muscled ass of yours on the way out. I wouldn’t want you to ruin your moneymaker.”

  “That’s my dick, but a girl like you could never afford me. I guess that’s why your brother foot the bill.” He pulls a hundred from his pocket, waves it in front of my eyes and winks at me before turning to leave the room.

  “Trust me, my pocketbook has better things to buy than secondhand slut cock.”

  He laughs again as he exits the room. I slam the door behind him, holding my chest. If he stayed in the room one more second, I was going to go full psycho Everly on his ass. I can’t believe my brother tried to buy me an escort. That bastard. If it wasn’t his wedding day tomorrow, I’d be heading up to that suite of his to give him a piece of mind. Instead, I pull out my cell phone and text him.

  Me: You’re seriously dead, Max.

  Max: BAHAHAHAHAHA

  Me: Don’t laugh, you tried to buy me a hooker!

  Max: You looked lonely. Besides, they call them escorts here.

  Me: You need a hobby. I can’t believe you bought me a male prostitute. I’m not that desperate. I can find a man on my own.

  Max: I only paid him to fake an accent for you. He said he could only do a Bostonian one. If anything, I paid a hundred dollars for the cheap Boston accent. I can’t believe you fell for it. How’s that hook . . . er taste, Fish?”

  Me: Screw you, Max.

  Max: Lol. Goodbye my dear little sister. Next time I buy you an escort, I’ll make sure to get my money’s worth.

  Me: Next time I’m kicking you in the balls. This is your get out of jail free card. Any more hookers and you’re gonna be singing like a canary.

  Max: Dually noted. Love you little sister. Welcome to Vegas.

  Me: Kiss it . . .

  Me:

  It took me a good two minutes before I found the perfect donkey picture. Jackass! He texts me back with an LOL. I can’t believe he’s not taking me seriously here. I throw my phone across the room, making my way over to the window. Below me, I can see the entire Vegas strip. I guess I’m supposed to be in awe of this view, but as I look out on the sea of pedestrians below me, all I can think is . . . if this is what Vegas has to offer me, then Vegas can go fuck itself.

  Chapter Ten

  The next day was a flurry of wedding stuff. Max paid for all the girls to get pampered at the casino spa. After four hours of seaweed, mud masks, makeovers, and more makeup than needed, all of the women in Max’s life looked stunning. He even paid for Maggie and Emma to get makeovers. If I had known my brother was Mr. Moneybags, I would’ve asked him for that cute, purple clutch I wanted for Christmas. I spent half the afternoon talking in accents to keep the nervous Breezy laughing. That girl was a mess! I’ve seen washers that shake less than she did.

  Breezy was convinced that she and Max needed to date, at least, a year before marriage, but the bun in the oven had other plans for her. She has responsibilities now, that makes her union to my brother even more important. Whether she likes it or not, she’s walking down that aisle, even if I have to pull her by her hair, kicking and screaming all the way to my brother.

  “You know, Breezy. In an hour, you will officially be a McGowan. That’s an honor. You will be the only person in this world with that privilege.” I say it with a thick Italian accent—Marlon Brando’s in the Godfather to be exact.

  Breezy giggles as the make-up artist touches up her face. “I’ve always wanted to be a McGowan, but honestly, I thought your parents were going to adopt me. I never thought I’d become part of the family through marriage.”

  My mother laughs. “Breezy, you’re the only person who felt that way. We all knew this union would happen someday. No woman has ever been able to tame my son, except you.”

  Breezy’s cheeks flush, making the makeup artist who’s working on her face huff in frustration. I notice that her left hand is trembling, I curl my fingers into hers in an attempt to calm her.

  “This is supposed to happen, Breezy. I can’t wait for you to be my sister.”

  A single tear drips down her face, taking with it the newly applied eyeliner and mascara that the makeup artist just took her time to put on Breezy’s face.

  “I know this is a wedding, but if you could please keep the bride from crying that would make my job so much easier,” the make-up artist grumps. We all giggle and I squeeze Breezy’s hand before dropping it.

  “Let’s talk about something not wedding related. Why don’t you tell me what happened between you and that hot fighter guy after Max proposed?” Breezy has a huge grin on her face.

  Internally, I want to groan. I hate talking about Caleb. Every time I think about him, I think about how perfect we are in the bedroom. That simple fact makes me livid. Caleb is nothing I want for myself, yet every time I think about him, my entire body gets excited.

  “Nothing. He’s an asshole.”

  “A hot one that you went home with that night,” Maggie teases.

  “One that does not have an accent,” I chime in. “He’s overbearing and gets under my skin. I hate him.”

  “Why do you hate him?” My mom asks. She has that inquisitive ‘I know better than you do’ voice of hers on. I hate that voice. “I mean, if you and this guy were stuck in an elevator together for five hours, what would you do?”

  “If he and I were stuck in an elevator together, I would either jump to my death or claw his eyes out. I’ll give you ten reasons why I hate him. He doesn’t have an accent. He has alpha-like tendencies . . .”

  “Ooh, I love me a good Alpha. They prove to be a challenge in the bedroom for my dominant personality,” Emma speaks, “but they’re still a lot of fun.”

  This girl has been shooting me daggers since she arrived. I’m not sure why she doesn’t like me, but at least she’s talking to me now. I don’t know if she has a dominant personality or if she’s just a bitch. The verdict is still up in the air on that one.

  “Alpha’s bug the crap out of me. They’re so cocky. Let me control everything in the bedroom, and you just lie there and do what I say. Nope, not me. I refuse to be bullied in the bedroom. I do what I want when I want. I may have enjoyed it for the night, but I was also under the influence of a lot of alcohol. If the situation presented itself again, it wouldn’t happen. He was a one-night-stand; it’s never going to happen again.”

  “That’s bullshit. You’d sleep with him again. I can see it in your eyes. You like him, Everly. Whether you want to admit it or not, you have the hots for the sexy fighter,” Maggie exclaims.

  “Shut up, Maggie.”

  The conversation quickly shifts when a man comes in and gives us the thirty-minute warning. Breezy’s nervous twitching gets even worse. Somehow, in the matter of a weekend, they had a whole small ceremony planned out. The colors were fuchsia and white, and the dress they got me has to be the sexiest thing I’ve ever worn in my life. It’s short and barely covers my ass. All the guys are staring at me as I walk through the casino. I’m wondering what the ratio of hot men to accents is in Vegas. Hopefully, tonight after the wedding, I can find me some hot foreign stud to warm me up—one who isn’t a married prostitute.

  “That fighter guy is lucky he isn’t in Vegas right now. If he saw you in that dress, he’d be beating the crap out of anyone that looked at you,” Breezy exclaims.

  If anyone looks beautiful, it’s her. She looks absolutely stunning in her eggshell colored gown covered in ti
ny silver jewels. It’s strapless and her long brown hair hangs down across her milky-white shoulders. She chose to get a gown without a vail, so the hairdresser took half of her hair braided it into a crown and dressed it with baby’s breath.

  “Breezy, you’re the beautiful one. I’m just an accessory to your beauty,” I tell her, giving her a quick hug. The last thing I want to do is talk about Caleb anymore.

  My father is waiting for us in the hallway, along with Tony, who’s supposed to escort me down the aisle since he is Max’s best man. Both men smile at us as we approach. Tony kisses Emma before she and Maggie help my mom to her chair outside. Max and Breezy chose to have their wedding out on a veranda, underneath an arch dressed in fuchsia and white flowers. Tropical flowers surround the whole place. A small waterfall is a beautiful backdrop behind the arch and flowers. Usually, weddings are booked months, even years in advance, but fortunately, the couple who had this booked had to cancel last minute. Because Max and Breezy wanted something small, they gave them the wedding at a discount and set up the whole thing with a week’s notice.

  Tony hooks his arm with mine as the music starts playing. He leans in and whispers in my ear, “You look absolutely beautiful, Everly.”

  “You don’t look so bad yourself, handsome.”

  We share a heated stare and laugh as we start walking through the doors, out onto the veranda. My brother stands there proudly next to a preacher with Emma, Dashawn, Maggie, and my mother sitting down in front. We share a goofy smile as I walk down the aisle towards him. Once we are at the end, Tony unhooks his arm from mine, and we both turn around as the Wedding March begins to play. The doors open and my dad and Breezy both start walking towards us. I hear my brother’s breath intake. I briefly glance over at him to see tears in his eyes; the same tears are in Breezy’s eyes when I look back at her. This wedding has been ten years in the making; it’s about time it finally happens.

  Like a normal wedding, everything is all “Dearly beloved we are gathered here today . . .” All I can focus on is my brother and Breezy’s facial expressions. They look so happy. Happy tears are the best. I’m overwhelmed by the happiness that vibrates between them. My own emotions takeover, I won’t cry. I can’t. It isn’t until my brother starts his vows that I completely lose it.