Accent Hussy (It Had 2 B U)

by V. Kelly

  As we rotate, I can see him looking at me. He smiles watching me as I enjoy the ride.

  “You’re a vision of beauty like this. Your smile is so much better than your normal frown.” He reaches up, still holding the bar with his other arm and caresses my face as we turn. We’re moving too fast to stop him, and I really don’t want him to stop.

  “How can you hit on me when you just asked TGB to go out with you?”

  The merry-go-round slows, but both of us are still fixated on each other.

  “TGB?” he asks.

  “Kristene.”

  “What’s TGB stand for?” He’s smirking. He just wants reassurance that I get jealous over him. Well, I’m not going to oblige. I shrug my shoulders, digging my heels into the sand so the spinning will stop.

  “It doesn’t matter. I need to go find my girls.” When I get up, I wobble, the world rotating around me. It makes me weak in my knees and I fall backward, only to be cuddled by his awaiting arms.

  “I got you,” he whispers, gripping my shoulders and pulling me into his chest. “I will always catch you when you fall.”

  The intensity of his words frighten me. I’m falling for him again. I’m always falling for him. In Vegas, at the gym opening, now here. I’m, falling into his arms like it’s normal. But it’s not normal. Nothing about Caleb should be normal.

  I wiggle out of his grasp, only to find myself face to face with him. I push against his chest, my hands meeting with the cut contours of his muscles. This gorgeous body should never be covered with shirts. I don’t even realize I’m closing my eyes until I feel his lips on mine.

  Caleb knows when I’m weak. He knows exactly what to do to turn me into a broken glass: fragile, jagged, and completely unpredictable.

  “What’s TGB?” he asks again.

  This time, the Caleb haze is not so easy to break. I’m lost in his lips, consumed by his eyes, and desperate for more. Maybe it’s time to let him in . . .

  “You’re jealous of her, aren’t you? You’re jealous of any woman I do this to that isn’t you.”

  And just like that, the spell is broken. Why does he have to be such an arrogant and cocky son of a bitch!

  I pull away from him. He’d be in three pieces right now if my glare could actually slice through him. I may not have the best luck with the guys I actually want a relationship with, but at least they aren’t self-absorbed assholes who like to tease and torture me.

  “Fuck you.”

  “With pleasure,” he grins, picking me up and carrying me towards his office. “I have a chalkboard with my name on it that’s waiting for a matching ass print.” He hasn’t erased my message yet? As if he notices the wheels spinning in my head he laughs. “When a girl writes me a love note, I tend to keep it.”

  “I’m not in love with you, Caleb.”

  “Keep telling yourself that, Everly.” As we pass the other employees, they look up at us in confusion, especially Kristene who just got asked out on a date.

  He’s about to pull open his door and throw me inside when her shrill voice calls out after him. “Mr. C., your two o’clock is here.” Caleb stops dead in his tracks and swears unintelligibly against my shoulder. He drops me, a defeated look on his face. I break away from him, embarrassed by all the odd looks I’m receiving.

  “Mr. Wilson, how nice to see you again,” Caleb says, his line of focus directed to the man sitting on one of the chairs in the lobby.

  An older gentleman with a perfectly trimmed brown mustache gets up from the chair and waddles over to us. He’s at least three of me in size and smells like peppermint.

  “I see you’re having fun,” the man eyes me and smiles. “Good taste, your father would be proud.”

  My whole body flushes. This is so embarrassing.

  “Everly, this is a family friend, Mr. Wilson. He’s also my accountant. As much as I would like to continue everything we started, he and I do have some business to take care of.”

  “I understand, nice to meet you Mr. Wilson.” I don’t wait for him to speak. Instead I turn and walk away, staring at the ground as I go. I can’t make eye contact with anyone, definitely not Kristene, whose glare I can feel all the way across the room.

  Why did I let myself get wrapped up in the moment again? No matter how hard I try, scenarios such as this one keep happening. I’m not in love with Caleb, I can’t be. I know I’m shallow for wanting more—for wanting someone who talks a certain way, but I can’t help myself. Men with accents just do it for me. That’s why I don’t understand how Caleb slipped through the cracks, managing to invade my dreams, and I don’t understand why no matter how hard I try, I just can’t stop thinking about him.

  I hate Caleb Conaway. I hate Caleb Conaway. I hate Caleb Conaway.

  That simple mantra is the only thing keeping me sane. Maybe I need to go write it a hundred times on his chalkboard just to remind myself.

  His sultry blue eyes flash into my head. I can’t shake the way they twinkled when I opened mine and he was kissing me. That smirk of his was there too. All I can think about is seeing that smirk every time he came up for air while orally pleasuring me. My thighs are soaked and all I’m doing is thinking about it.

  I hate Caleb Conaway.

  Maybe I need to write it two-hundred times—just in case.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  A month has passed since the merry-go-round incident. I’ve spent the entire time dodging Caleb as much as I can. I avoid all his hot spots. The boxing ring, his office, the cafeteria, the merry-go-round, every place I could possibly bump into him is strategically avoided. One time, he caught me and tried to get me to talk to him. For the millionth time, I told him I wasn’t interested. It doesn’t matter what chemistry we have in the bedroom, none of that matters to me. He’s just not right for me, period.

  He called me a liar; I told him to grow a dick. Now I refuse to talk to him. He’s resorted to making me jealous again. It’s gotten to the point that he purposely tries to make me angry.

  Today is no different. There’s a certain hallway that has become my sanctuary. It’s a sure fire way to avoid Caleb, but today it’s occupied. I round the corner and there’s Caleb. He has Kristene pressed against the wall, his lips millimeters away from her face. He must know I’m avoiding him, because that’s the only reason for him popping up in my hallway of sanctuary with the front desk troll. When he sees me, he kisses her: lips to lips, her hand against his chest, literally no space between them. It shouldn’t matter. There’s no reason for me to be upset; yet, when I see them together, it’s like instant water works. With tears in my eyes, my chest floods with jealousy, and I have to battle the desperate need for an ice pick. I want to plunge it into her fake plastic tits and watch them shrink like busted water balloons. Seriously, one poke and those things would deflate like god-damn whoopee cushions.

  I push past them, fighting the war of emotions raging inside of me. I need a distraction, something to keep my mind off the asshole who I can’t stop thinking about. Once in the gym, I pull out my phone, texting the group chat I put together with Maggie and Breezy on Lookbook.

  Everly: Ho signal is up. Girl’s night?

  Maggie: Uh oh, are you having manssues?

  Everly: You could say that.

  Maggie: YUUUUUS Fat bitch to the rescue then. My utility belt is armed with tequila, and ice cream. *To the fat mobile! *

  Everly: You’re not fat!

  Maggie: Can you shake your belly and sing the Jell-O jingle before it stops moving? I can. I’m pretty sure they wrote that song for me. Fuck, I want some Jell-O now. *Texts CG*

  Breezy: I’m in. I need a girl’s night. Maggie if u call urself fat 1 more time, I’m smacking u.

  Everly: Uh oh, she’s talking in chat speak.

  Maggie: *Turns around and gets ready* Do your worst sexy bitch!

  Everly: See I knew sending out the Ho signal would work. Are you sure Max will let you out, Breezy? That means he’s stuck with diaper duty.

  B
reezy: He’ll manage. Braxy has sucked the life out of my boobs. I need a break; my girls have produced so much milk I feel like a cow. *smacks Maggie’s ass*

  Maggie: I love it when you talk dirty, Breezy, and just think of how much milk you could produce with a third nipple? You could bottle your boobie juice and give it to starving infants everywhere. *researches people with third nipples*

  Everly: Maggie I love you.

  Maggie: Bahahaha holy crap did you know a mole might actually be a third nipple. This is an actual thing. People pierce them, too. Man now I want a third nipple. *lifts up shirt* Never mind, my tits are perfect just the way they are.

  Breezy: 012haboapab 2

  Maggie: *Hi Braxy!*

  Breezy: Sorry, Braxy got my phone. What time and where?

  Everly: The usual. Seven okay?

  Maggie: Sure, that gives me some time to deep throat some chocolate. *Gag, cough*

  Everly: *face palm*

  Breezy:

  Maggie: I over shared again didn’t I?

  Breezy: Maggie we need to install an out of line emoji for u.

  Everly: Yes! Or something that calls time out every time you TMI us. *searches Facebook emoji’s* Oh yeah like this one!

  Everly:

  Breezy: bahaha perfect

  Breezy: I call time out on bobbing ur chocolate.

  Maggie: That’s not fair. You know how much I need my chocolate fix.

  Everly: We need to check her into chocoholics anonymous, Breezy.

  Maggie: I’m not talking about Mr. Goodbars girls. I’m talking about Chocolate dick.

  Breezy:

  Everly:

  Maggie: *goes to sit in the corner* I’m calling in reinforcements. You bitches are mean!

  Emma Gibson joins the chat group

  Maggie: Emma, please tell these bitches the importance of deep throating chocolate.

  Emma: Are you over sharing again?

  Everly: Yes!

  Breezy:

  Maggie: Fine, I’ll just keep my chocolate dick to myself. Emma the Ho signal has been flashed. Bring your blonde tits to the bar tonight.

  Emma: Okay, Tony is driving me nuts. I need a good drink.

  Everly: Just tell him to grow a dick, that’s what I do.

  Emma: . . . his dick is NOT the problem.

  Maggie: Welcome to the world of being in a relationship Emma. Space is not an option. Okay, I’ll see you girls at seven. I need to impale my vagina with some penis.

  Breezy: Only you could make sex sound like a gladiator ring.

  Maggie: The only good sex is the kind where you’re not sure if you’re going to survive it. On that note! Carpe Dicky Girls! Seize the dick! Especially if it’s wrapped in chocolate! Byyyye!

  Breezy

  Everly:

  Emma:

  I chuckle when I finally put down my phone. The girls are going to be here any minute. I shouldn’t be texting on my phone when I’m supposed to be watching them.

  Caleb enters the room and sees me standing by the jump ropes. He starts to walk over towards me when my girls dash past him, saying hi as they run by and swarm me. I’m dog-piled to the floor as seven pint-sized girls knock me to the ground.

  “Everly, guess what!” NJ exclaims.

  “What?” I look over her head and see Caleb watching me. I know he wants to talk to me, and thankfully, the girls saved me from that. He may be a little unprofessional at times when other staff members are around, but he’s never once been a douchebag when children are present. Eventually he gives up and walks out of the gym.

  “I passed my math test. I did my fractions just like you said! It worked. My daddy was proud of me!”

  I’ve been working with NJ on her fractions. She’s in the fourth grade and even though they are the easy ones, she’s been having trouble learning them.

  “Well, how could he not? You’re amazing!”

  Her smile is so big that it’s hard to see anything but teeth. Just seeing it makes me smile, too.

  The girls begin to jump rope. I notice Hopscotch is sitting off by herself again. Today, her clothes are full of holes again, she looks really cold. I walk over to sit next to her on the bench.

  “Hey, Hopscotch. What’s up?”

  “Nuthinmuch,” she says combining her words. Her shoes are unbuckled, so I drop to a knee to help her with them. The minute I touch her, she flinches.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yes, thank you. I can do em’ by myself, Miss Everly. No need to help me.”

  “But I want to. Do you have any brothers or sisters, Hopscotch?”

  She shakes her head. “Not really.”

  “Well, I have an older brother; he’s smelly. His name is Max.”

  “Is he nice to you?”

  “Sometimes, but I can be just as mean to him as he is to me. That’s what little sisters are for.”

  “If I ever had a brother or sister, I would make sure to prosect them.”

  “Protect?”

  “Yeah, that’s what I said. Prosect. From the bad people.”

  “What bad people?”

  She looks over my shoulder and freezes. That creepy janitor guy is staring at us—well, her. She doesn’t answer me.

  “Hopscotch, what bad people?”

  “Nuthin, never mind. Thanks, Miss Everly.” She jumps off the bench and runs over to the other girls, cowering behind NJ for support. NJ whispers something to her, but Hopscotch only shakes her head in reluctance.

  I wonder what’s going on with that little girl. It’s time to start snooping.

  Chapter Twenty - Seven

  After work, I gussy up and change into my best bar outfit. A hot skimpy black dress and classic red pumps. It’s been entirely too long since I’ve had a good time. Who am I kidding? It’s been a long time since I’ve had satisfying dick. Maybe I’ll get lucky tonight and meet a handsome foreigner I can go home with. We can have sex, make cute little babies with accents and live happily ever after! Yeah right! Like that’s worked for me in the last eleven relationships I’ve had.

  Maggie, Breezy, and Emma are waiting for me at our usual booth. We don’t get to hang out as much as I would like, especially after my accident, but the times we do get together always end up being a blast.

  “God a girl could lose five pounds waiting for you to arrive, Everly. I was swatting off men left and right.” Maggie bats her curly brown hair and grins. She’s lost a lot of weight since the first time I met her. She’s not as round as she used to be, but you can still see the chunkiness in her figure. She’s adorable. It’s no surprise that Dashawn is always all over her.

  “Sorry, Mags, where’s your Chocolate God?”

  “With Max and Tony. Boys night.”

  “Then who has Braxy?” I ask, turning to Breezy.

  She smiles. “Mom and dad have him. They said we needed to get out of the house. I’m so thankful that they offered. Max was beginning to get a little stir crazy.”

  “Max is crazy period. That boy should be locked in a loony bin. I’m not sure where he got short changed in our gene pool. I, of course, got all the best traits.” I curl a wisp of black hair around my finger and laugh.

  A waitress brings over a round of drinks and sets them on the table. Mimosas, our favorite. “We didn’t order anything,” Maggie tells her.

  “It’s from the gentleman at the bar.” A decrepit man sits at the bar watching us. His sagging face pulls into a creepy smile when we all turn to look at him.

  “Fuck, that man is going to be my next baby daddy,” Maggie announces. “I’d ride that wrinkled pogo stick all around the bedroom.”

  The man spits out his beer causing us all to giggle. Maggie, of course, is going over the top for attention. I’ve realized that’s her thing.

  When the man gets up to walk over to us, she waves him off. “I was just kidding. I gave up wrinkled pogo sticks last week, but thanks for the drinks.” The man frowns and goes back to the bar.

  “You’re so mean, Maggie. I bet h
e’s a good piece of ass,” I joke. “They say older men are more experienced.”

  “You’re the single one, Everly. Why don’t you take him home and find out,” Maggie counters.

  “Get enough drinks in me and I might do just that!”

  “Gross,” the other three say at the same time.

  “So why the Ho signal, Everly. What’s going on?” Breezy asks. She unfortunately is still breast feeding and puts her Mimosa to the side.

  “I dunno. You all know my situation, right? The serving my community service at Youth Center thing.”

  “With that hot piece of ass you can’t stop tapping,” Maggie interjects. “Yes, we know,” she laughs.

  “Anyway, he’s starting to date this bitch at my work, and I dunno, it makes me so . . .”

  “Jealous,” says Breezy.

  “Horny,” Emma pipes in.

  “Angry,” Maggie finishes.

  “Yes, all that. He invited her to this upcoming boxing match he has in Las Vegas. He bought tickets for the whole staff to go. It’s a weekend thing. I’m not sure why I even care, but I do. He asked her to this big fancy dinner, and all I could think about was finding an ice pick and deflating her fake ass boobs.”

  Emma makes a sound of appall. She covers her breasts and glares at me.

  “Sorry, Emma, if it makes you feel any better, yours look a lot better than hers. Hers look like damn boulders.”

  “It’s okay. The thought of anyone busting my boobs makes my chest hurt. I paid good money for these things.”

  “Sounds like you’re in love, Everly. You have feelings for this man, and seeing him with another woman makes you crazy jealous,” Breezy says calmly.

  “I so do not love him. I hate him. I hate Caleb Conaway!” I shout, downing my entire drink.

  “Right, that’s why you just clenched your thighs when you said his name. Your pussy does involuntary Kegels whenever you mention him. Face it, Everly, both you and your pussy have it bad for the hot fighter. You want him to speedbag your tits, and punch thrust your vagina with jabs and left hooks.”