Darkness Before Dawn

by Contreras, Claire

  "What?" I seethe as my heart starts skipping beats and my ears start steaming.

  She smirks. "Tell him I had a blast with him at the bar a couple of weeks ago. Wouldn't mind a repeat of us sneaking off alone together," she says with a wink as the elevator chimes and its doors open behind me. I feel my jaw working as I glare at her with her fake nose and her short blond perfect bob, and her low-cut blouse and too tight pencil gray skirt. I nod once sharply before turning around and stomping into the elevator. I don't have the energy or time to reply to her and I don't have to. Connor runs into the elevator and steps inside next to me, holding the door open as he too glares at Skipper. Her smile falters when she sees the angry look on his face.

  "Nobody wants to fuck you, gold digging slut!" Connor states angrily before dropping his hand and letting the doors close in front of us, leaving her with a shocked expression on her face.

  "I hate stupid bitches," he mutters under his breath.

  In spite of everything, a soft giggle escapes me right before I start to ugly cry. Connor wraps his arm around me and pulls me into the side of his chest and lets me without saying a word.

  When we make it back to my apartment, I text message Aubry asking him to come over. I'm still shocked and reeling over seeing my father, my long lost father for the first time that way. And as petty as fake Barbie's accusation is, my chest physically aches from the idea she insinuated. In spite of everything I experienced today, her words are the ones I keep on replaying. Unwanted flashbacks of Sasha, Cole's mistake in high school and then college, seep into my mind every time I picture fake Barbie's proud face. I close my eyes and am transported back to the college party and hear Sasha's moans of desire behind that door, making my stomach weaken. Aubry's responding text message snaps me out of the reverie.

  Aubry: @ work. U OK?

  Me: No. Need you.

  Seconds after I hit reply, my phone rings and I see Aubry's curly blond hair and smiling blue eyes as his incoming call flashes my screen.

  "Hello?"

  "What's wrong, Cowboy?" he asks anxiously.

  A broken sob escapes me before I can reply. "Can you leave work? I'm sorry."

  "Oh my god. What happened? Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

  "I'm fine. I just...I need someone..."

  "Is Connor there?" he asks desperately.

  "Yeah, but I need someone I know," I whisper brokenly.

  He exhales into the line. "I'll be right there."

  "I'm sorry," I repeat, hating that I'm having a weak moment.

  Connor makes a few calls and announces that he doesn't have to work tonight, whatever work means to him. I excuse myself, letting him know he's welcome to stay as long as he wants, but that I need to lie down for a while. I contemplate calling Becky, but I don't want to get her worked up, and I don't want to call Aimee because she's too close to Cole in all of this and it'll just make me angrier at him. I start scrolling through my phone and hover over a familiar name before hitting send.

  "Hello?" he answers in a confused tone.

  "Hey."

  "Hey back. What's up, chick?" he asks, and I can tell he's smiling.

  "Not much, yet everything. How does that happen?"

  He laughs. "I don't know, you tell me."

  "I don't know either," I reply as a small smile touches my lips.

  "You had a shit day, huh?"

  "Yep, pretty much."

  "Wanna talk about it?"

  "Not really."

  He laughs again. "Nice conversation."

  "It's perfect."

  We continue our mindless banter back and forth for a while before he tells me he needs to go. By the time Aubry knocks on my door, I don't feel the urge to cry anymore. Instead, I sit up on the bed with my legs crossed and smile sadly at him. He eyes me curiously and walks over to me, unfastening his purple tie in the process. Once he sits down in front of me, I replay my entire day for him and am surprised to find that I don't shed a tear.

  "Shit, Cowboy. What a fucking day," Aubry says, shaking his head slowly in disbelief. "Wanna get fucked up?"

  "Hell yes."

  Drinking with Aubry is always fun, and drinking with Aubry while we listen to hip hop is hilarious. He always gets in a zone and pulls out all the cards, singing everything that blares through the speakers. Connor and I watch on, doubling in laughter, as Aubry untucks his shirt and starts walking around like a G, his words. Around seven o'clock Aimee joins us, thankfully bringing us pizza as we continue to drink. We're in tears as Aubry does his best Nelly impersonation with Greg on speakerphone.

  "You're the blackest white guy I know, dude, that's for damn sure," Greg says, laughing into the phone.

  The five of us fall into a fit of laughter, theirs dying out before Aubry and mine. Greg hangs up the phone and Aimee announces that she has to get home soon.

  "But you just got here," I whine annoyingly, immediately cringing at how needy my voice sounds.

  "I know, Blakey, but I have to study," she replies softly.

  "Ugh. The Bar," I groan. "I don't even know what I'm going to do anymore."

  "You could always take it," she chimes.

  "No, I don't even wanna be a lawyer anymore," I slur as I sway to get more whiskey.

  "What!" she shrieks. "You went through three years of law school and now you don't know if you want to be a lawyer? Are you fucking crazy?"

  "Babe, just leave her alone. Talk about this tomorrow," Aubry says before he kisses Aimee's lips shut. She shakes her head in disbelief as she tells us to be careful and says goodbye.

  Connor heads out shortly after she leaves, and as I lock the door behind him I realize that Cole hasn't called me all day. I groan loudly as I flop back on the couch across from Aubry and sip on my drink. Maybe I should go out tonight. I mull over reasons why going out wouldn't be a good idea and come up short. Then again, I am justifying everything with "Cole screwed that Barbie bitch while I was kidnapped." My stomach turns at the thought. What an asshole. I was kidnapped, living in a fucking basement and he was screwing around with other women. The more I think about him being away so much in the past weeks, the angrier I get at everything. The rational person in me knows that he wouldn't cheat on me, but I wasn't gone long enough for him to have to...whatever.

  "Aubry, we're going out!" I announce as I walk to my room, tipping my cup a little too much and spilling some whiskey on my feet. "Fuck," I grumble as I wipe the top of my barefoot clean with the bottom of the other. Aubry says something behind me and when I walk out of my room I find him on the verge of falling asleep on the couch. I wake him up with a couple of light slaps on the face and lead him out of the apartment.

  "Where are we going anyway?" he asks sleepily.

  "Out. Anywhere that has a bar."

  He shrugs his answer and we ask Spencer to drive us to a small place nearby. Cole is supposed to get in later tonight and I do not plan on being home at that time, I'm afraid of what I'll do when I see him.

  We sit around the bar, and to my dismay, there's a Cubs game on TV, which means my drinking partner is solely focused on that. I roll my eyes and take my phone out of my purse. I find two missed calls from Cole and a text message that says he'll be home at nine o'clock. I ignore him and call the last person on my call log instead.

  "Two calls in one day? I feel honored," Dean says in an amused tone.

  "Shut up. I had no one else to call," I reply. "Besides, we haven't really gotten to talk."

  "Not my fault," he quips.

  "I forgot how annoying you were." He laughs loudly into the receiver, making me back it away from my ear. "I met my dad today."

  He lets out a low whistle on the other side of the line. "So you know."

  My eyebrow lifts and I remember he can't see me. "Know what?"

  "About your dad and Alex."

  My heart drops. "What about them?"

  He exhales sharply. "Where are you? I'm assuming lover boy isn't with you since you're calling."

  "No. I hate hi
m. I'm at a bar."

  "Hate him, huh?" Dean says in a playful tone.

  "Don't start. I'm at Jimmy Green's. You coming or not?" I ask shortly.

  "Be right there, Princess."

  An unwanted shiver runs through me. "Don't call me that. Ever."

  He hangs up the phone on me so I turn my attention to Aubry, who, of course, was listening to my entire conversation.

  "You told him to come here?" Aubry asks angrily.

  "Maybe?" I whimper.

  "I can't fucking believe you, Blake. I can't fucking believe you." I cringe at his tone. He never calls me by my name unless he's beyond pissed off.

  I try to appease him by finishing the story and making him feel guilty for not wanting Dean to tell me what he knows. I really need to know, now more than ever.

  I rub my forehead trying to contain the impending headache that I feel coming my way as I pace our empty apartment.

  "Call again," I growl at Bruce who has been trying to reach Spencer for the past half hour.

  As usual, when my flight landed I called Blake, and to my pure horror, she didn't answer the phone. She hasn't been answering her phone all day and the one time she did call me, I couldn't answer mine. Everything is exactly as it was that day. That horrible day. I don't think I can deal with any more heart palpitations.

  "Let's go," I demand. "We're going to Mark's. That's where she was going when I spoke to her."

  I call Connor's cell phone again and this time he picks up. He tells me that he left Blake with Aubry in the apartment earlier tonight and hadn't checked in since he'd been busy.

  "I'm going to Mark's."

  "Don't bother, he left the office after we did. Dude, you don't even know what happened..." Connor says before he proceeds to explain.

  Needless to say, I feel like absolute shit that once again I wasn't here when she needed me the most. I know there's nothing I can do about it, my only options are to quit my job or take her with me everywhere I go. Since she's not going to let me do either one of those, I need to figure out another solution to this. The worst part is, I wasn't even working today. Not that I was any less busy, but on top of not being here for her, the fact that I was a car ride away and ignoring her calls because I was under pressure to finish shit...it doesn't sit well with me.

  "So she met her dad?" I ask to be absolutely sure.

  "Yeah, man. It wasn't pretty. She walked out of there...it was bad, Cole. She was pretty fucking upset."

  "Fuck," I mutter. "Thanks. I have to keep looking."

  "Hold on," Connor says as he switches over to the other line.

  I put the phone on speaker and place it on the seat next to me as I crack my knuckles and try to figure out who else to call. Aimee! I haven't called her yet. I'm about to hang up the phone, but Connor comes back to the line and apologizes.

  "I know where she is," he breathes.

  "Where?" I ask on edge.

  "Green's with Aubry."

  "Did she just fucking call you?" I growl, not able to hide my annoyance about it.

  "Nope. Dean did."

  My mouth pops open in disbelief. I close my eyes and take deep breaths to control the rage I feel rippling through my body. "I need to get to Jimmy Green's, Bruce," I say through gritted teeth, trying to figure out why the hell neither she nor Aubry decided to let me know they were going to a sports bar.

  "She called him, Cole. Remember that when you get there."

  I let out a harsh laugh. "Oh yeah, that makes me feel so much fucking better, asshole. Fuck. Why would she call him?" I mumble to myself.

  "I don't know, but...just be careful. Dean's nice, but don't try him, dude."

  "Don't try him? Are you fucking kidding me?" I shout.

  "Just be smart and rein in that temper of yours before you find yourself in some shit you don't wanna deal with. Get Blake and get out of there. I wish I could go, but I still have some shit to take care of."

  I hang up with Connor and place my elbows on my knees while I will myself to calm down. I know I need to be open-minded about this. Blake wants her answers and he's one of the only people willing to answer her, but fuck. And what the fuck is Aubry thinking? I'm going to kill him when I see him. I can't wrap my head around why she would contact him and have him meet her at a bar. I decide to call Aimee, which ends up being a bad idea because she tells me that when she left our place Blake and Aubry were already pretty drunk. So Blake drunk dialed Dean, lovely. This just gets better and better. I'm working my ass off trying to build something for us, and she's calling a guy that helped kidnap her behind my back. I shake my head in amazement and turn my attention to the city lights around me. At least she's okay, that's all that matters.

  When we pull up to the bar, I take one more minute to calm down before wiping my clammy hands over my dress pants and getting out. I look inside and see Aubry sitting in the bar watching highlights of the game and I anxiously look around for Blake. When I spot her looking beautiful yet sad, so fucking sad, in a dark booth with a guy sitting across from her, I close my eyes and count to ten. I see that Spencer isn't far away from her and is watching them intently, and that calms my nerves some. I walk in and go straight up to Aubry and smack him in the back of the head.

  "Shit. What the fuck?" Aubry says, ducking his head and glaring at me. "Oh. Cole."

  "Oh. Cole?" I growl. "Oh, Cole? Where the fuck is your phone?"

  "Out of battery," he slurs, his blue eyes glazed over.

  "You're so drunk."

  He laughs humorously. "So is Cowboy!" His eyes widen when he realizes his own words. "Shit. She's with Dean."

  I narrow my eyes at him, but make no comment before I walk up to the booth they're in and stand with my arms crossed at my chest glaring at both of them. Their hushed conversation ceases and their heads turn to me. When they see me, their eyes go wide. Dean recovers quickly and raises an eyebrow at me. Blake recovers just as quickly and glares at me. She's pissed at me. SHE is pissed at me? Hell no.

  "What is that face for?" I ask, feeling my jaw work as I place my hands on the edge of the table, clutching it to try to keep from making a spectacle by chocking Dean and pulling her out of here.

  "I don't want to talk to you. You can go home," she says flatly, her eyes blazing, before returning her attention to Dean, which pisses me off even more. I feel my body shake and I grip the table harder.

  "You don't want to talk to me?" I ask in disbelief, gaping at her. "You don't want to talk to me? DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I'VE BEEN THROUGH IN THE PAST HOUR?"

  "You need to chill out," Dean says.

  I push the table, picturing it hitting his face but it doesn't budge. "Stay the fuck out of this!" I growl, anger taking over my veins. I let go of the table and watch his eyes flash when I lean over to grab him. My ragged breathing and blazing thoughts interrupted by the sound of Blake pounding her small fists on the table, which makes the cups of ice clatter. I blink away the cloud of rage that masks my eyes before looking at her.

  Her gray eyes thunder before they become cat-like slits. "You?" she asks, sliding out of the booth to stand in front of me. I take a step back so I can see her face better. "You?" she repeats pounding one fist on my chest. "Fuck. You!" she screams loudly before turning around and storming away. I grab her forearm and pull her back to me, which makes her turn around and glare at me. She then jerks her arm away and proceeds to walk to the front of the bar. By the time I reach her I'm fully aware that every head in this place is turned to us, as Blake sways drunkenly away from me, and I shake in rage behind her.

  "Blake, you better turn around and talk to me. NOW," I shout when I get outside.

  "Go home, Cole," she shouts back as she continues to walk down the street. Both Spencer and Bruce are scrambling to get on either side of us, and I just want to tell them to leave us alone for a goddamn minute.

  "I am going home. We're going home right now, dammit!" I yell back.

  She stops walking suddenly, making me crash into her back and put my arm a
round her waist to keep her from falling. I lean forward just for a second, just long enough to fill my airways with her scent. That flowery scent that makes me think of Spring and sunshine and drives me wild. She turns slowly and shimmies in my hold, pushing me away from her and I step back enough so that I can see her face.

  "We," she slurs while sloppily signaling her hand between us, "are not going anywhere. You can go home. I'll talk to you tomorrow." The mixture of the tone of her voice and her troubled eyes makes my heart beat ten times more rapidly than normal. I feel the air constricting in my lungs, as her eyes continue to suck the life out of me.

  My stomach drops. "What do you mean?" I ask quietly, ignoring the pain I feel wedging in my chest. The pain that I've felt so many times before, you'd think I would no longer be phased by it. But it hurts. It hurts when she pushes me away.

  "I mean that I'm not going home with you tonight. You can go home by your damn self," she says, stomping her foot for good measure. I know she's drunk and acting irrational, but something about the way she's looking at me while she throws her fit doesn't sit well with me.

  "Blake, just talk to me. What's wrong? What did I do?" I plead.

  She shakes her head somberly, tears pooling her eyes. "What did you not do?" she whispers hoarsely. "You know what? It doesn't matter. I'll talk to you tomorrow. I can't even think straight right now."

  I watch her walk away from me again as I mull over what just happened.

  "You just gonna let your girl go like that?" Dean's voice asks behind me, snapping me out of my trance.

  I turn around to see him leaning against the wall, smoking a cigarette, with his legs crossed out in front of him. I blink a couple of times, processing his words and what just happened.

  "Stay out of our lives!" I demand, narrowing my eyes at him before taking off in a sprint toward Blake. I run up behind her, lifting her off the ground on my way to the car.

  "Put me down, Cole," she demands, which makes me tuck her face into my chest and hold her tighter. When we make it to the car, I put her in the back and sit beside her, and then turn to Spencer who's standing outside of the door.