Losing Control II

by E. B. Wood

  Next; did I find Ray attractive? That was an easier one. Admittedly I didn’t know anything about the guy but going on appearances alone there was no doubting that he was hot. Not only did he look in great shape but he would be by far the youngest man I’d been with since I was that age as well. I indulged myself for a while thinking about what it would be like to fuck Ray; to feel his hard body on top of mine, his cock driving hard and fast into me all with the enthusiasm and vigour of youth............whew. Okay so that particular item was a ‘yes’ then.

  I spent a bit longer turning the potential pros and cons over in my mind. The more I thought about it the more I was aware that the debate was becoming less and less between opposing views in my mind and more about the conflict between my brain which still wasn’t convinced and my pussy which was, quite literally, warming to the idea.

  I still hadn’t made up my mind by the time we anchored but one thing I was determined about was that there was going to be some consequences for Jason for putting me in this position in the first place. I found him in the cockpit with the other two guys. He knew I wasn’t happy and gave me a contrite look however I was in no mood to be mollified. Ignoring the other two I snapped at Jason, ‘Why are you dressed?’

  ‘What..?’

  ‘You heard. There’s no one here to see so why are you wearing clothes?’

  ‘I...um...but why would...’

  ‘I want you to strip naked and you’ll stay that way until I say otherwise, understand?’

  Jason looked at me desperately. ‘What about...’ He motioned with his head to the two guys who were watching the scene with silent amusement.

  ‘What about them? Rob’s already seen you and it was your idea to bring Ray.’ I almost felt sorry for him as he frantically looked for a way out before finally admitting defeat and starting to slowly peel off his t-shirt and swimming shorts. Once he was naked he stood with his clothes bunched in front of his groin. ‘Give them to me.’ I commanded, taking them from his reluctant hands.

  Leaving Jason blushing furiously I turned to the others, ‘Gentleman, my husband will be happy to provide you with a first class service during our time out here. Drinks, food, anything you need just give him a call.’ I tuned back to Jason. ‘Now I’m going for a swim with the boys and I think we’d all like some lunch when we’re done.’

  Jason

  Even with the portholes open the interior of the yacht was warm and I could feel sweat trickling down inside my chastity cage as I worked away in the galley. Outside I could hear the splashes and laughter of Bea with the two men. I envied them the cool embrace of the sea but even more I envied them the happy company of my wife. Although I had to admit I might have crossed a line by bringing Ray along without any warning I hadn’t expected quite such an adverse reaction from Bea. I hadn’t enjoyed the humiliation of stripping in front of the two men and wasn’t looking forward to playing the naked butler for the trip. But, on the other hand, I had taken liberties and obviously put Bea on the back foot by inviting Ray and, damn it, I kind of liked how easily she turned the tables and took the control back. I don’t think there were any doubts amongst us men about who was calling the shots onboard the boat. I wasn’t sure what Bea would do about Ray but I was sure that whatever she choose to do it would because she wanted to and not because I had pushed her.

  Bea was firmly back in the driving seat and my cock twitched knowing that the situation was once again completely out of my control.

  I had been moving back and forth from the galley to the table in the cockpit while I prepared lunch and took the opportunity each time I was outside to observe the three in the water. Bea was obviously the centre of attention with the two guys moving around her like sharks. Every now and then one would seize her and, to the accompaniment of squeals of mock indignation from Bea, either drag her under the water or throw her up into the air. It was good to hear Bea laughing and enjoying herself again after her long breakup with Steve. I was pleased to see her smile freely again and see the sparkle back in her eyes. The fact that it had taken another man to put it there was okay with me even though it made my guts twist with envy seeing the way she looked at Rob with such transparent lust. As I put the finishing touches to the table I suspected I caught Bea giving Ray the same sort of appraisal. She certainly wasn’t objecting to Ray’s hands on her as they fooled about on the water. At one stage Bea disappeared under the water in Ray’s arms and although I couldn’t be certain I was fairly sure they had shared a kiss while submerged.

  As loath as I was to disturb their fun I eventually had to call them back in for lunch. Before coming to the table they used the fresh water shower on the stern to rinse off. The boys held the shower for Bea and I drank in the sight of my bikini-clad wife, her eyes closed as she twirled under the shower, surrounded on both sides by two large black men. The water glistened on their dark skin and the guys looked fit, healthy and virile in a way that I could never hope to match. I felt absurdly proud that Bea should have such attractive suitors and also pleased that I was able to give my wife such a gift. I like the discrepancy between Bea’s lovers and me. I want her to experience so much more than I can give her and when I see her in the sexual embrace of a better physical specimen of manhood it fills me with a deep love and desire for her that is impossible to describe. The fact that Bea is so obviously more physically attracted to, and satisfied by, her lovers only reinforces my commitment to our lifestyle.

  Lunch passed in pleasant and easy conversation between the three. I sat aside from the table at the seat by the helm, just watching and listening as unobtrusively as possible. Bea surprised me by suggesting a bottle of wine as she very seldom drinks during the day. I quickly fetched and poured for them, aware all the time of the heavy steel cage around my cock on display for all to see. When lunch was finished they sat around on the cockpit seats and continued to talk while I cleaned up. After I’d finished the dishes I came out to find Bea sitting on Rob’s knee and locked in animated discussions with Ray. While they talked Rob’s hands gently moved across Bea’s still damp skin. Bea continued talking as if oblivious of Rob’s hands even when they slid inside her bikini top, massaging her nipples to a state of hardened desire. Her composure broke however when one of Rob’s hands made its way down and between her legs.

  Bea groaned as Rob’s fingers caressed her pussy through the thin material of her swim suit. She twisted her head back and kissed Rob deeply while his fingers pulled her bikini bottom to the side exposing her wet cunt for us all to see. Rob’s fingers sunk slowly between her pussy lips and Bea’s breath became rapid and laboured into Rob’s mouth as he played and teased her clit. Bea’s eyes were shut and she continued to kiss Rob while his other hand slipped her bikini top aside releasing one of her breasts. I glanced over at Ray to find his eyes locked on Rob’s fingers buried in my wife’s cunt.

  Bea broke her kiss and getting to her feet she pulled Rob up after her. Lifting her head she kissed him again while rubbing the growing bulge in his shorts. Still kissing Rob she pushed down his swimsuit letting his swollen cock spring free then pushed him back so he was once again sitting down. Lifting her mouth from his Bea stepped back and, her eyes locked only on Rob’s, she slowly stripped off her swimsuit, wriggling her hips provocatively as she slid the bottom part off her legs. Once naked but still standing she leant forward and took Rob’s cock in her mouth. As she sucked him she spread her legs wide and with her back to Ray I knew he must be getting a clear eyeful of her spread pussy.

  I could see a large bulge pushing up the material of Ray’s shorts and wondered if the situation would become too much for him and if he would take the initiative and make a move on Bea. Although she was obviously putting on a show I wasn’t sure how she would respond if Ray touched her and was relieved when it appeared that he was happy to simply sit back, watch and let things progress at Bea’s pace.

  Bea continued to blow Rob until with an audible pop she removed her mouth from his cock. ‘Are you enjoying watching this
?’ She asked without turning around. I almost responded before realising that she wasn’t talking to me.

  ‘Very much,’ said Ray. ‘You are a very beautiful woman.’

  ‘Why, thank you.’ Bea smiled. She reached between her legs, spreading her cunt with her fingers. ‘Do you think my pussy is beautiful too?’

  Ray grinned. ‘I think it looks delicious...’

  Bea laughed, delighted. She turned around to face him. ‘Show me how beautiful you think I am,’ she challenged indicating the bulge between his legs.

  Ray stood up and in one quick movement pulled his shorts down exposing his thick black cock. I heard Bea’s gasp of appreciation and had to agree that what Ray was presenting was a fine example of the male organ. It was as thick as Rob’s but slightly longer but whereas Rob’s cock dangled even when fully erect, Ray’s jutted stiff and proud from his groin. It was a young man’s cock, hard and eager with the promise of a young man’s enthusiasm and stamina to drive it.

  ‘Do you mind if I touch it?’ asked Bea coyly, stepping forward. Ray nodded and then moaned softly as my wife’s fingers closed around his shaft. While Bea slowly stroked him Rob got up and stood behind her, slipping his hands around her to cup and massage her breasts while he kissed and sucked on her neck.

  I couldn’t believe that Bea was locked in an embrace between two black guys in the middle of the day with the sun shining on the water and reflecting dappled light across their naked bodies. The whole scene was incredibly beautiful and I could feel my arousal growing as I realised that my wife was actually going to do this.

  I groaned slightly as the tension on my balls increased as my cock tried to push my chastity cage away from my body. Hearing me Bea turned to face me and gripping Rob’s cock in her other hand asked, ‘Is this what you wanted?’

  I nodded, not trusting myself to speak least I break the mood.

  ‘You want me to let them both fuck me?’

  ‘Yes,’ I whispered.

  ‘That’s why you brought Ray, wasn’t it? So he could fuck me.’ Bea was slowly stroking both cocks as she talked. ‘Should I fuck them now? Right here in front of you?’

  ‘Oh god, yes, please!’ I couldn’t believe this was actually happening. My wife was going to have her first threesome right before my eyes. I was so excited that it felt like my cock was going to bend its steel confines, however to my dismay Bea shattered my illusions with her next remark.

  ‘Too bad,’ she said her face hardening. ‘I’m still pissed at you for going behind my back about Ray so here’s what’s going to happen. I’m going to fuck these two big cocks, and honey, please believe that I am going to enjoy every second of it. You meanwhile are going to go down below into one of the forward cabins and you’re not allowed back out until I say.’

  ‘But...’ I started to protest.

  ‘Don’t argue! How many times have you told me this lifestyle is all about me? About my desire and my pleasure? Was that just a lie?’

  ‘No’ I admitted feeling horribly humiliated in front of the other men.

  ‘Good, then what I want is for you to go away and leave me to enjoy my fun without you. When we’re good and done I’ll let you know but until then I don’t want to hear or see you, understand?’

  I nodded miserably.

  ‘Good,’ said Bea again. ‘Now be a good cuckold and go away.’

  I made my way inside and down the stairs to the forward cabin. As I turned the last corner I glanced back and could just see that Bea had turned to face the two men and was standing wrapped in their embrace. I took the vision of my wife’s pale nakedness cradled in the strong dark arms of her lovers into the cabin with me and shut the door.

  I lay on the double bunk staring at the deckhead close above me. I felt very keenly the sharp bite of my cuckolded status. This feeling was different from the angst that often affects me. Angst is more about the conflict created by fear and desire. I want Bea to be with other men but I fear losing her to them. I want Bea to have great sex with her lovers but I’m scared that it will be so good that she will never want me in bed again. It hurts me emotionally to hear Bea telling me how fantastically she’s just been fucked but at the same time it fulfils a need deep inside me that desires to hear exactly that. Angst is a paradox. It is the drug and the curse that drives me to want my wife to take other men as her lovers. I can live with angst.

  What I have come to think of as cuckoldhood is different. This emotion is not often present and only arises in situations where Bea plays alone. Sometimes it’s there when Bea spends the night away with a lover but mostly it strikes when she’s with another man in our house and I am forbidden from watching. At its heart cuckoldhood is about the feeling of exclusion, that feeling where you know everyone else is at the party having fun and you’re home alone. Except it’s much more intense than that, more like the party is happening in your own house and you can hear the shouts and laughter but aren’t allowed to join in. Cuckoldhood is a greasy feeling deep in my stomach. It reminds me of when as a child I was sent to my room for being naughty and could hear the other children still playing outside.

  Not more than a couple of dozen feet away from me I knew that my wife was in the process of experiencing what was quite probably the best, and definitely the most adventurous, sex of her life. I knew that more than ever she would be discovering a level of sexual satisfaction that I could never hope to match. Not just the pleasure that she was certain to get from two cocks but also the heightened sensations that must accompany her first threesome. I would never get to experience a threesome for myself, nor would I ever be permitted to be actively involved in one with Bea. My wife was taking a huge leap beyond me in sexual development and experience and I wasn’t a part of it. Not only wasn’t I permitted to watch but I had been sent away, casually dismissed and removed from the fun.

  The party was in full swing and I was alone in the kitchen once again.

  I had never felt so torn by emotions, so divided by my desire to be a part of my wife’s sex life and my need to be cuckolded and excluded. I almost got up a dozen times and left the cabin, strode up on deck and demanded my right to, if not participate, then at least observe. To be a part of the life-changing experience she was enjoying even if only as a bystander. But what then? What happened after I’d asserted my independence? I’d asked, begged, for Bea to take control of our sex life. I’d promised that in return I would allow her whatever sexual freedom she desired and that I would obey her commands without argument. If I walked out on deck now I would not only be breaking that promise but it would change the very dynamic of our relationship. Bea needed to be able to trust that I would do what she said but more than that I needed her to lead me. I need Bea to cuckold and exclude me but the truth is she can only do so with my willing participation. Of course I could stand up and walk out of the cabin anytime I liked, but if I did that just one time then it would expose the truth that I could do it anytime.

  And just like that the game would be over.

  So I stayed in my bunk and I imagined what Bea looked like with two cocks inside her and I squirmed with the embarrassed shame of my cuckolded exclusion.

  And then I did something I had never done before while Bea was getting fucked; I fell asleep.

  Bea

  The afternoon sunlight pushed through the hatch in the roof of the cabin and fell on Jason’s face like a thief intent on stealing his rest. I stood and watched him sleep for a while, feeling a deep love for this incredible man who gave me such freedom and unstinting devotion while asking so little for himself. I was deeply aware of the void that existed between my experiences and his and even though I knew it was denial and exclusion he craved I still felt uncomfortable at times about the inequalities in our relationship. I felt guilty about the excesses he permitted me to enjoy but at the same time I was honest enough with myself to acknowledge that I desperately wanted all the freedoms he allowed me and much more. I’d discovered I loved fucking other men; I loved the variety, the freshn
ess and the excitement of taking a lover. I loved the way a new man made me feel in bed and how that feeling carried over into my everyday life. I felt younger, happier, more beautiful and more self-confident than I ever had and I owed it all to the man asleep on the bunk in front of me. But despite the fact that I couldn’t conceive of going back to a normal monogamous lifestyle again I knew that if Jason asked me to I would rather than lose him.

  I ran my eyes over my husband’s sleeping form, pausing at the steel cage locked tightly around his balls. I knew that most men would rather die than have their manhood constrained that way but I’d never considered Jason to be any less of a man simply because of his cock was locked away. How many ‘real men’ I wondered would be so selfless as to give up their pleasure for that of their partner? Of course Jason got his own kicks from denial but that didn’t mean it was any easier for him than it would be for any man to be refused the ability to cum. Jason struggled and worked at his chastity and at the same time he had to deal with the knowledge that other men were getting to enjoy orgasms with me instead; orgasms that by rights should have been his. I know he still finds it difficult at times to see me with other men and I knew that by sending him away today I had both humiliated and hurt him, perhaps more than I’d intended.

  I moved up onto the bunk next to him and slipped my arms around him. I’d slipped my bikini bottoms back on but was otherwise naked and my sucked-raw nipples hurt as they brushed against his chest. Jason stirred and looked around him with the confused gaze of the recently awoken. His gaze finally settled on me and his mouth opened but I stopped his question with my mouth, kissing him long and deep. While we kissed I ran my hands down his body to caress his cock and tight balls, feeling him quickly swell to fill and press against his cage.